Married Men That Live A Secret Homosexual Life "Good Or Bad"?
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationsip as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and oppions in regards to this subject.
83- theageofcake
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mdawson17 wrote:
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationsip as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and oppions in regards to this subject.
There was a period in history when doing this was not acceptable, but at least, in a way, forgivable, because of the hostility society pinned against homosexuality.
But because the social climate is changing, at least in progressive parts of the U.S., I wonder if there's any justification other than individual fear.
I've known gay men in heterosexual relationships that did so as something of a cover up, or an attempt to "test" their orientation. While I can sympathize with their confusion about themselves, I think entering a relationship with a woman when you have doubts is unfair to the woman involved. Unless, of course, she knows about it beforehand.
That said, I do support the choice of a gay person in a heterosexual marriage to leave their partner for whatever reason. I don't think that just because they made the mistake of entering the marriage they should unhappily stay in it. It may be irresponsible, to a degree, but my biggest issue with marriage has always been that it has the tendency to make people feel socially trapped.
To be fair, I don't think most people leave a marriage guilt free, especially in the cases we're describing. Its tough for all parties involved - its just a matter of exercising your freedom and making the best choice.
74- sneakorocksolid
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It's the best thing that could happen! Hell, we should all try to be more gay then we'd understand the liberal perspective. I can't wait to be gay! I ordered my 'Do It Your Self Gay Kit' last week. I'm all excited about the trama it will cause we've been living without drama too long!
86- bloodnlatex
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I see nothing wrong with it, I mean I've never been caught.
86- tantrum
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sneakorocksolid wrote:
It's the best thing that could happen! Hell, we should all try to be more gay then we'd understand the liberal perspective. I can't wait to be gay! I ordered my 'Do It Your Self Gay Kit' last week. I'm all excited about the trama it will cause we've been living without drama too long!
Go ahead ! It's fun !!
- 86
- bloodnlatex
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Aw s**t! I guess the cat's out of the bag now isn't it!
- 86
- tantrum
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bloodnlatex wrote:
I see nothing wrong with it, I mean I've never been caught.
me either !
89- prettydarkhorse
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bloodnlatex wrote:
Aw s**t! I guess the cat's out of the bag now isn't it!
to sneakorocksolid: and bloodnlatex: I really didnt know you were both like that, LOL...ur enjoying it both I know....
- 74
- sneakorocksolid
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tantrum wrote:
sneakorocksolid wrote:
It's the best thing that could happen! Hell, we should all try to be more gay then we'd understand the liberal perspective. I can't wait to be gay! I ordered my 'Do It Your Self Gay Kit' last week. I'm all excited about the trama it will cause we've been living without drama too long!
Go ahead ! It's fun !!
Whats-up! My wife is as mean as a snake! She'd whip the gay right out of me! She's a big woman 6'2", all muscley and she's a pudd'in wrestler! She's a killer!
My ex-wife might've turned me towards men but there were several OTHER women waiting in line so . . .
96- Len Cannon
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Of course it's "bad." It is an awful situation for everyone and the result of a world where having to hide from yourself results in men and women diving into loveless relationships for the sake of appearances. My good friend's father came out and it was difficult for his mother but in the end, it was best for everyone. All parties are able to have the life they always deserved instead of both parties settling for a lie and my friend has certainly not been negatively effected by it.
87- Georgiakevin
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If love is about trust then how can a person profess love to another person and then leave that person for whatever reason? If one professes to be Christian and finds out being gay is more than they can bare while in a heterosexual relationship does self identity really hold a higher place in their lives than their children and the person they loved enough to marry?
theageofcake wrote:
mdawson17 wrote:
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationsip as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and oppions in regards to this subject.
There was a period in history when doing this was not acceptable, but at least, in a way, forgivable, because of the hostility society pinned against homosexuality.
But because the social climate is changing, at least in progressive parts of the U.S., I wonder if there's any justification other than individual fear.
I've known gay men in heterosexual relationships that did so as something of a cover up, or an attempt to "test" their orientation. While I can sympathize with their confusion about themselves, I think entering a relationship with a woman when you have doubts is unfair to the woman involved. Unless, of course, she knows about it beforehand.
That said, I do support the choice of a gay person in a heterosexual marriage to leave their partner for whatever reason. I don't think that just because they made the mistake of entering the marriage they should unhappily stay in it. It may be irresponsible, to a degree, but my biggest issue with marriage has always been that it has the tendency to make people feel socially trapped.
To be fair, I don't think most people leave a marriage guilt free, especially in the cases we're describing. Its tough for all parties involved - its just a matter of exercising your freedom and making the best choice.I think that the biggest concern that was posted in this thrad was if the spouse had not openly disclosed to thier wife that they had gay tendencies! If in a marriage the issue had been discussed and both parties are happy with it thn their arrangement should work!
I meen being a swinger is acceptabale in society eyes why not multi gender marriages?sneakorocksolid wrote:
It's the best thing that could happen! Hell, we should all try to be more gay then we'd understand the liberal perspective. I can't wait to be gay! I ordered my 'Do It Your Self Gay Kit' last week. I'm all excited about the trama it will cause we've been living without drama too long!
LOL
97- AEvans
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mdawson17 wrote:
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationship as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and opinions in regards to this subject.
This is tough I agree that a man takes his vows and should be committed I believe that sometimes society plays a key part on a person's lifestyle. Many men and women were brought up that it is a sin to be with the same sex however a percentage of gays and lesbians are born just the way they are. We cannot change them , we cannot judge them , we can only embrace them. I as a woman would also be upset but I would also understand the circumstances that surround the situation. Personally I would give it over to God and continue on my journey with him.
65- dutchman1951
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mdawson17 wrote:
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationsip as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and oppions in regards to this subject.
I have seen this in Clinic at St. Thomas where I volunteer. This truth may hurt, I am sorry.
The Majority are men looking for sexual satisfaction, they play a Tops and Bottoms Game looking or a gay partner thats not to picky to service them, get the B..w job they dont get at home.
Their Marrage has become to comfortable, sexual activity is less and thus a need. They are usualy older or semi-older, and consider themselves not in shape, or big enoug to be sexualy attractive to opposite sex to get and keep affair, and do not want to risk getting caught.
Some want the frienship as well as the male to male contact, not fully gay, but still a need for that.
Some do not want to keep up a woman, and will tell you Guys aren't that picky or messed up in the head! All excuses for whats underneath, the real need or issues.
Some feel thay can get a no srings friend and get services, no problems, no Girlfriend calling the house!
They play the Golf buddy lie game, or a night out with boys lie, stuff like that.
A very very small percentage of them are truly gay, and are comming out late, after marrage. Very, very fewer still are honest or open in a poly- bi relationship. It is sad to see it.
One told the Counselor I work with, My wife will not give me oral! So what the Hell times are changing!
The group I volunter with work with men who show some preditory behavior, or sexual deviances and or ask for help. The bad ones are the ones who look for young Boys.
You can see it on Craigs List in the personals, and some net sites. It is sad. And becoming a social problem in places.
Jon
93- Daniel Carter
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sneakorocksolid wrote:
tantrum wrote:
sneakorocksolid wrote:
It's the best thing that could happen! Hell, we should all try to be more gay then we'd understand the liberal perspective. I can't wait to be gay! I ordered my 'Do It Your Self Gay Kit' last week. I'm all excited about the trama it will cause we've been living without drama too long!
Go ahead ! It's fun !!
Whats-up! My wife is as mean as a snake! She'd whip the gay right out of me! She's a big woman 6'2", all muscley and she's a pudd'in wrestler! She's a killer!
You are the one who makes it sound like you're married to man. You're quite welcome to be gay if you want to be.
- 93
- Daniel Carter
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Daniel Carter wrote:
dutchman1951 wrote:
mdawson17 wrote:
In the recent years I have seen more men come out of the closet after being married for more than 5 years. This concerns me becuase I think of the spouse that has dedicated her complete life to him!
I have seen children lives tour up and even worse the children involved become very confused.
I have seen wives insecure of their woman hood and who they are. Blaming themselves.
And I have the man just walk away from a dedicated relationsip as if it hurt no one. I thought when a married couple took their vows they were vows of integrity and commitment. I thought they were also a vow of honesty and faithfullness.
I am curious what is the thoughts and oppions in regards to this subject.
Unless you have direct experience with a family member, a child, a brother, or whomever, you are only left to guessing. Yes, there are sexual vampires every where in this world. They are demons at best, and will use ANYONE, not just a wife. However, I think most the assumptions in this thread are based on ignorance. So much useless information from a stand point about guesses, not on experience.
When you have family members who struggle with this, when you have to agonize with wife and children as well as husband, you get a real heart-breaking picture. I'm not saying that every case is this way, as I say there are sexual vampires everywhere, but the reality of having a family member who is truly gay is about a full-on identity crisis, and it's brutal for everyone they love, and far worse on themselves.
I have seen this in Clinic at St. Thomas where I volunteer. This truth may hurt, I am sorry.
The Majority are men looking for sexual satisfaction, they play a Tops and Bottoms Game looking or a gay partner thats not to picky to service them, get the B..w job they dont get at home.
Their Marrage has become to comfortable, sexual activity is less and thus a need. They are usualy older or semi-older, and consider themselves not in shape, or big enoug to be sexualy attractive to opposite sex to get and keep affair, and do not want to risk getting caught.
Some want the frienship as well as the male to male contact, not fully gay, but still a need for that.
Some do not want to keep up a woman, and will tell you Guys aren't that picky or messed up in the head! All excuses for whats underneath, the real need or issues.
Some feel thay can get a no srings friend and get services, no problems, no Girlfriend calling the house!
They play the Golf buddy lie game, or a night out with boys lie, stuff like that.
A very very small percentage of them are truly gay, and are comming out late, after marrage. Very, very fewer still are honest or open in a poly- bi relationship. It is sad to see it.
One told the Counselor I work with, My wife will not give me oral! So what the Hell times are changing!
The group I volunter with work with men who show some preditory behavior, or sexual deviances and or ask for help. The bad ones are the ones who look for young Boys.
You can see it on Craigs List in the personals, and some net sites. It is sad. And becoming a social problem in places.
JonSorry, I blew that last post. This is what I intended:
Unless you have direct experience with a family member, a child, a brother, or whomever, you are only left to guessing. Yes, there are sexual vampires every where in this world. They are demons at best, and will use ANYONE, not just a wife. However, I think most the assumptions in this thread are based on ignorance. So much useless information from a stand point about guesses, not on experience.
When you have family members who struggle with this, when you have to agonize with wife and children as well as husband, you get a real heart-breaking picture. I'm not saying that every case is this way, as I say there are sexual vampires everywhere, but the reality of having a family member who is truly gay is about a full-on identity crisis, and it's brutal for everyone they love, and far worse on themselves. 
96- Marisa Wright
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mdawson17 wrote:
I think that the biggest concern that was posted in this thrad was if the spouse had not openly disclosed to thier wife that they had gay tendencies! If in a marriage the issue had been discussed and both parties are happy with it thn their arrangement should work!I agree - I'm willing to live and let live. However I simply can't forgive a gay man who marries a woman purely for camouflage, but pretends it's real. I've personally met three women who unknowingly married gay men. All of them endured misery, and one of them nursed her husband to his death through AIDS (in spite of the way he had treated her). Didn't these men stop to think about the feelings of the women they married, before they decided to use them?
93- livelonger
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Of course it's bad.
Fortunately, there's less and less of it in environments where gay people aren't told:
- that they can "pray the gay away" (they can't)
- that they should get married...to an opposite sex person they can't love
- they will burn in eternal hellfires or whatever
They are more likely to grow with a stronger sense of self and without the need to marry a "beard." Look at Ted Haggard and Larry Craig if you need some well-known examples of people leading cheating, double lives.
Making gay people full, equal citizens under the law will go a long way to making this sort of travesty a thing of the past.
