What do you think?
I tend towards agreement. Or perhaps the "rules" are changing...
What in the past was considered necessary in order to be polite may have lost its importance.
I think society has lost patience making a ruder civilization...No so in the forums though
...Real sorry to interrupt your message, Juliet, but I just wanted to say that Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME!!!
I like to think that to interrupt is not rude as long as it's for something real important. Carry on.
DUDE! I just used that joke in the how wonderful or w\e forum it is 10 mins ago.
Was listening to a pretty fine country station on the radio here in Arizona this afternoon--won't say the call letters to protect the idiot "talking head" who spoke at length about the rude comment by "KANE West". He even got all folksy toward the end, urging KANE to just up and apologize more quickly the next time....
No, really, it's a true story! You couldn't make this stuff up!
best response ever.
(well, this week, anyway)
to answer the question yes i think society in general is getting ruder, but then again people are getting friendlier in urban settings anyway and more easily approachable. so maybe ruder is not the word maybe more brash?
If society is getting ruder, it is because we are letting it become that way. Do not let the herd mentality rule how you conduct yourself and that will be one more roadblock to worldwide rudeness.
Honestly, I hadn't noticed a huge change, until I started posting on forums--the rudeness, arrogance, and cruelness that some posters exhibit just sadden me to no end... I just wish people would try to be a little nicer sometimes...
Of course--it could be like that out in the "real" world, also, but my husband and I tend to be hermits, and don't interact with too many folks out "there", lol...
But there are so many super nice posters, too--don't want to ignore them...some go out of their way to keep their cool no matter what, and I really love to see that.
This country was definitely different let say 20-30 years ago. People were polite and helpful. It was great. Now we are slaves of hate.
Hi, No i do not think society is getting ruder. Society is
getting angry, tired, fed up.
A good tip i find to keep rudness away from me is to either
ignore,smile or just simply reply.
'EVEN PIGS GRUNT'
Have a great day
"Of course it's getting ruder. Any idiot can see that!" *satire*
We have become like jackals on the sparse plains, alligators in the shrinking Everglades; resources are diminished by our increasing numbers. It's survival of the fittest, and politeness plays no part unless it is manipulated to our own advantage.
There are some of us out here who do not fall prey to this, but our commitment to the compassionate, the moral, and the ethical is compromised. It's hard to teach our children these values of common human courtesy which respects, when the rule out there is, "Eat or be eaten."
I like your words, nice. and you're right about teaching the children, it becomes more challenging, but so necessary. you can see that in evidence right here in the forums. I recently wrote a hub about teaching kids values and respect if you want to read it~~
Rebekah, I did just read your Hub and left you a comment. Your words are right on. My wish is that all parents read your words and take them to heart.
Look, you get a big stick thats how you teach those bratty little beggars how to behave!
Except that you ignore the fact that civility and politeness can be survival traits too. It's only civility which keeps the streets free of violence and bloodshed. Look at South Central during the 1980's. No civility and the streets ran with blood. It wasn't just the gangs, gangs were a part of the neighborhoods in the 1950's in South Central but you didn't have the mass bloodshed. I heard it put one time as "You made an appointment to get your a$$ whuppin'".
It's not hard to teach kids to be civil. You just have to get them to understand why you need to be civil and instill the fear of not being civil to them. You do the first through the example of your own behavior and the second by tanning their hides when they act in without common courtesy.
I do not ignore that civility and politeness can be survival traits. That they can be has nothing to do with the point of my post.
But since you brought it up, how does "tanning their hides" teach anything about civility and politeness? "Tanning their hides" is a manifestation of authoritarian control and the resulting submission, while politeness and civility are manifestations of empathy and understanding. If one teaches authoritarian control, then one will be hard pressed to teach empathy and understanding.
Food for thought.
Yeah, Sally, I'm with you on this.
If it is build on fear, it goes away the moment they think they can get away with this...
It teaches kids that while you can make decisions for yourself, you cannot always choose the consequences and sometimes those consequences aren't what most people would consider "fair". It makes them cautious and think before they act and isn't that, after all, the basis for civilized behavior? Besides, we've restricted a parent's ability to spank their kids for decades now and it hasn't produced well-mannered children by any stretch of the imagination.
I worked with kids who didn't get their hides tanned, ever, as well as those who had their hides tanned for every little infraction or just because the parent was an authoritarian dick. There is a fine medium, but few people can seem to find it. The fact is that kids need boundaries and will push and push until they find one. A good parent doesn't sweat the small stuff, but when it's important, they need to be able to mark those boundaries with a firm line. Yes, that includes spanking.
I can assure you I judged each caper I was involved in when I was a kid by the reception I would get at home if it were found out. It didn't keep me from getting in trouble, no, but it did keep the amount of nonsense I was involved in to a minimum.
I think it is really sad that we as a society don't have enough respect for ourselves or others to be considerate, respectful.
The rules haven't changed just our expectations of what are acceptable. How pathetic that people walk around trying to cause problems, they dress with no respect, speak with no respect and have alot of hatred but all without cause.
The forums are just one , big, oasis, of politeness in an otherwise rude world (especially the religion and politics forums).
Ruder, maybe not. However attitude towards each other has changed and how the attitude is executed is different than before (but before when??). I find both -- better behavior and worse behavior. It really depends on what you are looking for that day.
We should call it real name "rudeness". We do not have to change definitions.
IDK, I see it going in both directions. People I directly communicate too seem to become nicer and nicer every year. Yet I see more and more whining that people are getting ruder and ruder... Can't really figure out why such a dramatic difference?...
I tend to agree with Misha ... my old and even newer friends seem to keep getting nicer and more considerate than ever.
But the people who one doesn't know, who one crosses on the street, fellow drivers on the roads, fellow shoppers in the market or store, they all seem to be getting ruder, they couldn't care less about being considerate. I guess everyone has his problems gnawing at his insides and no one has the patience to be nice to strangers.
To our friends we tend to be nice because we get more of the same back in response ...
i notice rude behavior in traffic mostly. in stores or business offices, people are courteous and polite, even smiling many times. there are two cases in the news lately about people slapping other people's children...it does seem that lately some people feel like they can do stuff like that and get away with it.
i have also noticed a trend in advertising where people are really mean to each other, or even putting them in precarious or dangerous situations. hmm maybe i will write a hub about that.
I think people are leaving off the polite terms and allowing tone and facial expression to tell you their intentions. Then, in situations where contact is not face to face, ie telephone, forums,etc, then people are feeling free to be as rude as they want because they think there can be no possible repercussions.
My parents traveled in South America last year on a journey to Antarctica and they said the people they met along the way were helpful, polite, kind. They added, it wasn't until they returned to the U.S. that they experienced the most impolite people.
Abroad, people were always offering to help my dad along (he walks with a cane or walker): help him across the street, up stairs, etc. Back home in America, people practically knock him down to get past.
I'm not saying Americans are rude in general, but there are times when it appears our manners have degraded.
This is a two part answer I think. Part one concerns online interaction. Part of it may be the "newness" of this type of communication. We're still figuring out the "rules" of conduct. A mentor of mine keeps on about how in the age of email, you have to be very careful in how you respond to something. It's far to easy to dash something spiteful off and get it sent before you've completely thought of all of the ramifications. In addition, we don't generally "know" people online like we do in our private lives. Also with the anonymity of the Internet, we can act in ways that we would never dare to in our private lives with people we come into physical contact with.
Part two concerns society. Yes, we are getting much more rude and pushy in society. Most of it has to do with moral relativity and letting people "do their own thing". Not that doing your own thing is...bad, but doing your own thing increases the chance you'll do something selfish and without regard to how your actions may impact others.
You have not seen rude until you visit a political chat room where anything goes. It is war.
I think a lot depends on how one views the world~~ if you see it as bad, you will notice the bad, and vice versa~~ there's a lot of good in the world.
certainly there are many rude people, but I think rudeness is just a sign of something more internal. people who are rude all the time are miserable in their own skin~~
I feel that way sometimes, that the world, or at least around my little piece of it, is getting more and more impolite, impatient and rude. I think it's the language people use.
I think with the economy not good, jobs gone and houses lost, many people do not have much to be happy about. I would like to think if the economy gets better, jobs come back and people are affording their houses, things will look totally different. Stress, Depression and recession makes people vent. A vibrant economy and lifestyle makes people more speculative, patient and very nice.
I agree with Joelle Burnette's comment about how the rudeness we experience has more to do with 'lack of manners'. Or it could be just that most people were not brought up with the proper training as to "how to be courteous, helpful and polite to others"
This would make a good instructional guide. LOL
Now it's Angel Misha. Your changing avatars are so delightful! What angel could ever tan a kid's hide?
Yes, a kid learns from tanning to go ahead and do whatever he did to get the tanning, only behind the tanner's back, thereby transcending the fear. The added damage to society is that the kid learns this pattern all too well, and visits it on his own kid in the future.
in general people are becoming less polite, and impatient .... but hubpage forums do not reflect that most of the time
We probably more on the same page than it looks, cause i am definitely not against spanking or other physical punishment when it is called for. I am not sure about Sally.
Yet you sounded (at least to me) as you considered this to be a major educational tool in relation to rudeness and such, and this I definitely disagree to
It depends. Personally, my limit is when it gets to the point of physical aggression or property destruction. Safety issues, in other words. Those are automatic spankings, in my opinion. I'm also not averse to slapping a mouth when it comes to cursing, disrespect or talking back.
Like I said, you don't physically punish for minor infractions, but as kids up the ante, so do you. When they understand how far they can push things, they'll not approach those boundaries again. It really is a skill. I'd advise all people wishing to become parents to work at a facility similar to the one I worked at. It gives you a whole new appreciation for parenting and you also realize how easy most parents have it.
Not ready to argue this, but I definitely pro much more lenient approach. And no, I did not work with others' kids, but one of my own ones is quite a difficult kid.
Actually I was much more militant back in the day, but working with those kids really did teach me that how I comported myself often times dictated how successful I was getting through to a kid. Heck I knew I got it right when the kids started acting up and all I had to do was look at them. "We're getting the look" and then things would calm down. Then we'd get a new kid or new kids and have to start all over again. Teaching manners, like teaching anything takes time, effort, blood, sweat and tears. All the important things do.
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