I'm pretty new here, but just wanted to throw my 2 cents in. It really is sad that grown people still feel the need to "pick" on others. I've come to the realization that those who pick or tease others are only doing it to make themselves feel better. People do not realize how much their words can hurt someone else. I would just try to ignore it, or laugh at it.
It's a shame that childish people had to chase others away. I hope they feel better about themselves now!!
I agree with you Deanna... whne people pick on you and you get devasteted, they will feel so happy and enjoy doing it. While in reality, people and things affect us the way we choose them to... and besides, no one can piss us off without our consent. Laugh at it... lol! Cheers!
well certainly most hubbers here who are the alleged bullies would never say mean or deragatory things to a person face to face, as they don't have to since they can hide behind the safety of talking smack on the pc without seeing the other person get hurt. thus, allowing them to have an unfazed concience, AND to never have to suffer a butt whooping by the person they insult.
i know from my own personal experiences here, that some hubbers are truly MORE equal here than others. and i do know that it doesn't really take much to be hated on hubpages over a simple misunderstanding. i could site a couple incidences of this, but i won't since i honestly don't feel like starting any crap with anyone here over crap that happened weeks and months ago. lol.
however, i will say this. as one hubber once told me, some people like to dip into the wine too much and take whatever happens in forums as a reality versus what it actually is. in fact, i wouldn't be surprised if more than half the people on this site are actually preteens and teenagers, as most people here act like them. not that im naming any individuals specifically, but they know who they are. hell, anyone here could lie and pretend to be a 50 year old woman, when they're really a 9 year old boy playing a prank on us all. the reality is, you don't know. that's why there's only a few people here i ever take seriously, as i know they've never lied to me about who they were and i never lied to them. everyone else, i'll listen, but it doesn't mean i believe what you just said.
I think it's pretty rotten that people do this, but it's going to happen wherever there are those who have a lot of time to do nothing. maybe their life is a mess, so they enjoy spending time hurting or manipulating others. sometimes the best thing to do is sign off and walk away from the computer and remember the real world! I don't take anything too seriously online when it comes to relationships. I'm nice most of the time unless someone is being a jerk. then I might say something, but in the end, does it really matter? love the one you can reach out and touch. they matter the most.
I agree with you. Besides, we are all adults here, time to stop taking everything so personally. I certainly don't take anything on here seriously. I notice most of the "bullies" tend to hide behind sock puppet accounts.
And I should add that picking on others does not fall under the category of disagreeing with them.
Some people who have been here for awhile just kind of know. When it comes to someone who doesn't "just kind of know" (from previous "doings" on the forum), some "vibes" are when someone is pretty new to HubPages, doesn't have much of a profile (or doesn't have one that looks like there's any "depth" to it), and usually doesn't have many (if any) Hubs. Some people put a little more effort into their "sock puppet", so it isn't always easy to tell. Generally, they pretty much look like they're just on HubPages to fool around, argue on the forums, and do very little writing.
i do agree with you to some extent. however, i would like to point out from personal experience not all bullies on here are sock puppet accounts. as some of them that I met are actually very prestigious hubbers here, that are frankly opportunists if you ask me. i won't say names nor am i saying it's anyone here. however, i just would like to point out that not all the bullies on hubpages were sock puppets, as I can tell you from my experiences here.
wow, im terribly sorry that happened to you. i hope you and your husband are doing okay now then. I do agree with you it's not a great example to set for other hubbers that are just joining us. after all, it wouldn't surprise me if that's the reason forums aren't as active as they used to be, as many of them read what goes on here, then decide to stay away. rather than talk to us. at least my theory anyway.
plus, it seems that most elitist hubbers will often jump onto whatever accusations and blame someone before knowing all the facts, with proof and/or truth of any kind be damned. like a few months ago some guy decided to pull a practical joke another hubber, and he purposely told EVERYONE else on hubpages what he was doing except her. however, because i was caught in forums telling the guy that his little joke was a bad idea, everyone including the people who knew i was innocent jumped in and claimed i was not only in on the whole joke, but i planned it as well. granted, i should've kept my conversation with the hubber through e-mails, but still what really ticks me off is two things. one nobody even bothered to want to hear my side of the story. secondly, even when i did explain it, one of the elite hubbers here had the audacity saying i was in on it because i didn't try to stop the prank since i knew about it. which is funny because by his own admission he knew about it too, but choose to do NOTHING about it. therefore, logic would dictate he was just as responsible as me, but nobody ever blamed him.
however, this is another reason why i had to open up a forum to tell people that i wasn't a sock puppet when another hubber accused me without any sort of proof. therefore, i had to nip it in the butt before it got out of hand like that other incident. as we all know that MOST people here jump to conclusions with reality and proof be damned!
Harvey, I couldn't agree with you more being rude is unacceptable I have experienced it firsthand but I guess what we can do is move forward, never look back and ignore the ones who harm. Sometimes we don't always understand it but those of us who are strong keep moving along and forgive those who cause pain. I am answering through my second and only account. AEvans
Two days after I posted this I was notified by Hub, an article of mine was being removed because it didn't meet their standards. I have written articles like this before, with no problem.
Could this be a coincidence, or maybe someone doesn't like to see a good "SEX" story. There was no cursing, nude pictures, description of body parts, everything was basically left for your imagination. Oh, I did mention kissing!
This was very strange after writing over 120 Hubs.
No, but I tried to add some humor to a topic that saddens many of us.
To be truthful, reporting this stuff in a forum is like taking your child to school and announcing to the students they are being bullied. While there are many who will be sensitive to the issue, not one of the kids will have the power to make it stop.
To make the nonsense end these things must be reported up the ladder where staff can deal with them. Placing them in a public forum does nothing more than villify the staff in what appears to be a plea for them to finally take action. However, if the staff is made unaware of an issue then they have no means to deal with it.
It's kinda like going over their heads and saying they aren't doing the job ... when in fact they aren't being made aware of the job needing to be done.
The staff can't read every single message on these forums and determine what is or isn't offensive. If you deem otherwise, then I ask that you spend one day reading every message on this forum and tell me later the reason you find yourself unable to read and interpret every one.
It's as simple as the person being offended contacting the staff for a resolution, but we often find ourselves not doing so because we fear the retribution that will come from those we speak of.
It's a forum ... there won't be any physical retribution. And for that reason, we need not feel bullied into not reporting things, to the point that it makes us want to leave.
And on the other side of the fence, we should also not be so sensitive that we look for trouble and report anything that might seem offensive.
If you want the problem solved, write the staff ... not the members ... as we are powerless to change that which occurs on this forum. And if they will do nothing to resolve the issue, then a person could leave in good consciousness, knowing they tried to rectify the issue.
You won't find Utopia in any forum, but you can at least hold the expectation that a forum be somewhat civil ...
Harvey, I didn't mean to sound as though I was casting doubt on it. I know it's true people get bored or are just petty and play mean games, anyone can see that happens here as well, if they pay attention.
What I said came out wrong, due to something else that was going on that I had just commented on in another thread. I didn't mean to sound like I disbelieved, just that I had no info. on that one.
It may be wise to be very careful about what personality types you admit to your circle of friends. (You being in general, not you).
Kind of disgusted by the whole thing, and thinking it might be a good idea to create myself a new user ID to write hubs under. Some people are pathetically childish.
Hmmm....picking on others is uncalled for. I've certainly never pursued any anger or irritation with another hubber. Sometimes I do unleash sarcasm over what I perceive as another person's stupidity in an unworthy way on the forums. I've been trying to work on that.
Does this take place on the forum or something? I haven't seen anything at all in my whole time here. It's quite possible that I live in a bubble or something, or maybe I don't do enough hub cruising or something.
Origin, I don't think it's a big, widespread, thing. It looks to me (but I live in something of a bubble myself - although I do come out and look around) as if isolated situations crop up (but can get nastier than anyone might assume they would). It can start in the forum, on someone's Hub, or with one person reporting another - that type of thing. Then you get people supporting other people (often justifiably), and the snowball grows. Whenever there are a lot of people in any "mix" (companies, schools, shopping malls) this kind of stuff can crop up.
That's exactly it. Take banning, for instance - it doesn't happen that often, but because people open multiple long threads getting up in arms about each one, it seems much worse than it is.
Being attacked is horrible for the person being targeted (been there), but in most cases it doesn't last - and if you can resist the urge to give up and walk away for a few weeks, you get over the hump and get back to Hubbing. Once again, I think other people can make it worse by trumpeting it all over the forums - often, these trolls are doing it for attention-seeking, so you're giving them exactly what they want.
If things get to the point where direct personal attacks are being launched, you can report the post or comment. If HubPages does nothing and you have the evidence of someone calling you a f%%&^&*#@ c@#$%^, then all you have to do is open a thread quoting it, and you'd have every Hubber behind you, no matter how "prestigious" the culprit is.
I agree, though, that it's possible for someone to be very nasty without actually making a direct insult.
I am a new member of hubpages. But I agree with Harvey Stelman that sometimes people become rude to others in the forum. This is a big community and members are from different corners of the world. Some of them might not have English as their first language, some might still not been acquainted with the customs of this community. But all of them are part of this big family. Although I found that most of the elder members are very friendly and cooperative, still I request all family members of HP to be patient, and affectionate to the younger members.
It is all about status. High school games played out through a professional website. Harvey I know some of who you speak of, it irritates me that these people or sock puppets or whoever or whatever they are can get away with this crap.
I've had a few people now and again say rude things about me or mock me because they may not agree with something I've said. It happens especially in the religious forums because I've become very outspoken about the same old arguments that get repeatedly rehashed and recycled in there. Also, I don't agree with censorship and I've been raked over the coals on that one too. But I let it roll off my back because I know they are just trying to get me upset. I don't give them the satisfaction of an argument. Everybody has the right to their opinion and nobody else has to agree with mine. I don't care enough about what they all think to get upset about it anyway. As far as people leaving for being cyber bullied, well that is a sad state of affairs indeed. I say, make the bullies leave.
Fortunately, I'm generally the pariah in a social situation.
I use this to my advantage, and if worse gets to worse I'll use my crazy eyes!
I agree HP could be more consistent with getting rid of trolls, and I think they do well for the most part. The people who still engage in the community, and wish to write and make money.....need to sometimes remember to be better adults.
True, it is an impairment on communication and relationships when these things happen. I think that to various degrees it is a discipline inadequacy. Self discipline that is. As we sit here in front of the computer, most of us alone as well, we tend to be more alert of the "my space." That is when we feel most vulnerable as well as most in control. Through this we may tend to expand that space of perceived "control" to other avenues such as the internet. It's an easy platform to do so. Without the dignity of facing someone face to face we are able to, with our words cut down, destroy, gang up on and even uplift another for very few other reasons than to have an affect on someone out there - to extend control whether resulting in happiness or gloom regardless.
Let it roll of the back when being criticized? Sure, of course! However, the damage is really to the one criticizing. Nothing cankers the soul faster than the product of pride - hate. It is grevious that a group of people with a seemingly common interest in writing cannot even be literate enough and intelligent enough as to accept the vast personalities and views just on this platform. Each person's views are valuable. If not to others it is valuable to that person which makes it valuable. We all have the privilege of expressing our views. Yet, in our responses a little more bridaling of passion should be observed. No, we should not take responses too seriously unless your still conscience prompts you to take it as counsel.
It is my hope that we all maintain our own "my area" within our physical walls and homes and to not infringe that space onto the internet that is essentially everyone's space. We do this through self discipline, compassion, tolerance and understanding.
This is very important . this isn't a debate . this isn't a fight. this is suppose to be the exchange of contrary ideas between civil , open minded and tolerant people. this tool this potential is being wasted .we have the power to reach out and interact with the world . and what do we see in every forum and chat room. on the net? childlike behavior. that's what. and im not referring to the good kind.
I agree with you, aware, we have here at our fingertips one of the most powerful tools ever invented and it gets especially frustrating for me when something important is being discussed and then I see it being broken down to nothing more than a joke. Of course I understand that no one including myself can be serious all the time, I just think there is a time and place for everything including humor, and maybe even a good argument or two. But name calling and verbal gangbanging don't belong anywhere. I have struggled my whole life trying to control my impulsive behavior and very often I say way more than I should and always before I've thought about it, but at least it is an honest reaction and not just something I have purposfully said to offend or to hurt anyone else.
in the time I have been here, there have been a few times maddie has come into a thread and said, if someone is bothering you to the point of harassment, to contact her if if happens in the forum or through HP mail. to keep bringing it up in forums only adds fuel to those who are playing the game.
even some of these controversial threads are only opened to incite, not for real discussion and debate, which would be nice at times. to me, those are a waste of time.
yeah, i know, but i didn't want to risk having all my friends here turn on me again like last time over a simple misunderstanding. that's why i did it out of fear mostly, as most hubbers will jump onto false accusations rather quick!
you'll be very surprised trust me. at least, that's been my experience on here thus far. however, you've been on here way longer than me, so you know better than i would. im just basing my claim off of my own experiences here.
It depends which forums you follow. UW is like me - she mainly sticks to the Hub-related threads answering newbies' questions. We both miss a lot of the squabbling that goes on down the kiddies' end of the pool.
Like I said, in the 'old days', each forum had its own "latest posts" so if you weren't interested in (say) the religious forum threads, you never saw them. These days, the contentious threads are so "in your face" that even people who wouldn't normally care get sucked in.
I like everyone on HP - even those with whom I debate. I enjoy a good debate, but I always refrain from name calling. I like to keep it "above the belt," so to speak. Some hubbers get WAY too worked up over some threads, especially the ones about religion and politics. Most of the other forums are pretty tame and friendly, however.
personally, if you ask me, i think forums should be disbanned and hubpages should replace it with various chatrooms on different topics. you know similar to how yahoo, msn, aol and others have messenger. maybe that's what hubpages should do, so that way if a hubber does harass someone, then you can simply click ignore and they won't be able to bother you. in my mind at least, that would be the most ideal solution to all of this, as forums are practically chat rooms anyway. however, i doubt seriously hubpages will do it though.
i mean exactly that. just get rid of forums here completely. then replace it with virtual chatrooms like yahoo, msn, and aol have where once you download messenger, you can enter any chatroom you want on various topics to talk to people. unlike here, the conversations aren't recorded in print, AND you can click ignore on any user you deem rude. just my thoughts on it anyway.
Hey Misha!!! Been missing you...not the same without you around!
@ Steven -- as for disabling the forums, I disagree. Chat rooms are not the answer, as you can have disagreements and bullying happening in them too. Also, there's a tendancy for users to only chat with certain people, and not others. This, in a community, is not healthy.
I remember which incident that you spoke about earlier, and it was not only you who was given the accusations. Several hubbers were incriminated, but we forgot the one that was actually hurt. She was "forgotten" throughout the whole incident. (Just had to speak my mind on that one...)
There will always be ones out there who like to bully and accuse others of wrongful doings while hiding behind a mask. That will never go away. It's life.
The choice to fall into that trap is in your own hands. Ignore it or join in. We're all suppose to be adults (despite the childish behavior) so the decision can be made with clarity if one chooses.
I've seen many good hubbers leave over the past year (well, almost) and I've seen the forums change. It should never result in writers leaving because of a sock puppet or someone who's a bully.
i understand that beth to be honest with you. however, i just mentioned it as an example of how i know how hubpages can be sometimes. that's all. however, you are right. many people were hurt during that alleged incident as well. however, i do think it's kind of funny on how hubpages people tend to conduct themselves, as that's all i was trying to point out.
as i said earlier, some hubbers are more equal than others. if you want to know what i mean by that misha if you read this, then watch the original movie, "Planet of the Apes" starring Charleton Heston. Once you watch that film, you'll know exactly what my thoughts are about the forums here and what i mean.
was that supposed to be funny? look, i have no quarrel with you misha, nor do i want any trouble from anyone here.
i was merely offering a suggestion on what i think hubpages should do. you don't have to agree with me, but i would appreciate it if you kept your opinions to yourself, if you can't say anything nice or contructive to it. thank you.
lol. i couldn't agree more, and believe me im not that sensitive as you seem to assume i am. no, i just hate false accusations that's all. it's one thing if i actually am guilty of something. however, if im falsely accused of anything, then that's when you see me panick. it's a nasty habit of mine, but i don't take kindly to rumors or accusations with no justification.
I have seen various hubbers attack others bold and blatantly in a way that is degrading and demoralizing. I sat back and watched, objectively, while the very one's who attacked some were accusing the 'some' of doing it when I saw no evidence that the 'some' were hateful. None. I saw 'some' respond with dignity and truth, yet the 'various hubbers' would only spew more ridicule and taunting. This is what I observed without commenting, on the outside, looking in. I have seen it first hand.
When people type in words and construct sentences, there's an important element in communication that is lost. What just transpired between Misha and Steven is a perfect example of how things can quickly go awry in any forum or chat room.
Misha's intention was humor. Steven received the statement as an attack and responds appropriately for his feelings. Misha explains that it was merely a jab at humor.
Who's right? Both. Who's wrong? Both. Who's at fault? Neither.
It's the simple age of technology whereby "typed" or "keyed" words and phrases lose the vocal and body language that would indicate how that line is being delivered. This is why I believe that no matter how the format is changed, this will always happen.
Sure, some are definitely hostile, without a doubt. But simple statements can be misconstrued and the situation can spiral out of control very quickly.
You know what guys it doesn't matter who wants to bully me or throw crap at me, nothing, and I mean nothing any-one could say would ever make me leave this place. I look beyond words I know not to be true. I am Xena warrior, and I mark my ground with my sword upon this day.
Hello Misha my anarchist, commie Russian friend. Good to see you in the fray again.
To Steven, this is Misha, he is a good guy and has learned his English here mostly, I think. He is still trying to decipher our language, but he means well and he is a stand-up guy, well loved and respected here. He can be funny and quite engaging and will not back down from an argument. Pretty smart for a Russian. And BP is Russian as well, though she claims Australia as home. Good to see you all, and just ignore those who stir up shiit.
I don't understand how anyone can feel picked on. This is cyberspace. Nothing is real. What you make of what is happening is entirely down to you, your mood and what happened you from the moment you popped out your mothers womb to the moment you hit period on your last post.
As I recall, there was a mom who posed as a teenager on MySpace, who taunted and cyberabused another teenaged girl until she committed suicide. That was very real. And the mother was found out and was prosecuted for murder.
That's how real cyberspace is. It reflects life as it truly is. There are charlatans, deceivers, imposters, thieves and murders and far worse in real daily life, just as there are on the internet. Nothing is has changed from reality in cyberspace. It's just that far more people are deluded that somehow they can hide easier, and therefore, not have to be responsible for what they do and say on the internet.
However, there are still yet many who are responsible as to how they represent themselves in cyberspace, and they do so honorably. But again, it's a reflection of what we see in daily life.
Ralwus - yep, it was a 1959 Olds 88 - and it was actually orange and creme color - but before that she always had black cars - I knew someone would find that mistake! So I corrected that - just took the fins out of the story. Now, you're probably gonna tell me they didn't make black oldsmobiles those years - but she had it special ordered, right?
People like to "troll" around in the internet, trying to infect others with their pessimism and hate but I never lose hope coz finding 1 good person in the internet far outweighs 100 trolls and this hub just made it easier for me to find em hehe
maybe you could roll drunks for cigars - or, maybe roll cigars for drunks? or roll drunk cigars for a job! or get drunk and smoke cigars? or get a cigar for a drunk? or drink a while, meet some other drunks, and go get rolled?
I know you're giving it your best shot, but you're really not that great at the bully stuff, did you know that? sorry I have to tell you this, but its true. I don't think you were cut out to be a troll or bully either!
hide? hide? who's hiding? plus, this is the internet you idiot, don't you know that? if you want to get technical....EVERYONE here is hiding behind the safety of their pc and computer screen avatars. hell, how do i know your even who you claim you are? you could be a 8 year old little school girl using her teacher's picture as an avatar for all i know.
however, since you seem to be so content to be more of an action type of guy. i'll tell you what. you name a time and place where we can meet, and we'll fight. although i think it's fair to warn you.....I don't fight fair! mwahahaha!
The toughest type of tough guy. On another thread some pathetic yahoo was blustering about how he'd use his guns against Tea Party demonstrators. It's all just too, too sad, and in the end indicative of exactly the opposite of what they hope.
However, I believe this 'Bender' is just goofing and shouldn't be taken too seriously.
and you sound like that little brat who used to talk smack to me and could talk a good game. he assumed since he was a kid that I wouldn't attack him, but......well i won't go into details as i would hate to get banned from forums. however, i'll let you fill in the rest. as i said in some of my hubs, i may be an a**hole, but I'm an honest a**hole. mwahahahaha!
It is never fun to be picked on, even jokingly. I too, have seen people take off some of their hubpages, and say they were shutting down, because of negative opinions. I know these hubpages, are a nice place for a persons voice to be heard, but not to be criticized:( Thanks for having a heart:)
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