If you notice carefully during the state of anger there is an amazing relationship between breathing and state of anger. When you get angry your breathing becomes faster and when you are relaxed your breathing becomes sedate and slower. So reverse the cause and effect- start slow breathing and anger will start reducing!
A few tips:
- Avoid the first reaction, the second reaction
- May be the next reactions will be more rational
- Focus on your breathing, things will become more controlled
When we get angry, our bodies have a chemical response in addition to the emotional response. In My Stroke of Insight, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor discusses how it takes fewer than 90 seconds for that chemical response to pass; however, if we continue to feed the anger with our thoughts, we perpetuate that physiological and emotional response. Keeping that in mind, it might be worth mindfully indulging in the emotion for 90 seconds and resisting the temptation to respond to others before that time has passed.
I do Reiki or another energy practice. Very good to use technique: imagine your anger as dark ball and exhale it and with the second exhalation brae it into the firework.
I do not shout on close ones when I am angry. I always control my anger, and just express displeasure, if it is necessary.
I get quiet actually. Then when I'm crossing the line, I become indignant. Soon I'm vocal.
I stay off from the place. Then, I tried to introspect what have happened. Usually, after this condition, I have been able to put myself properly in the problem. And I can judge wisely who is guilty between I and the one(s) with whom I am angry.
I also try to control my anger, most of the time by trying to do anything else that might take my mind off the person or thing that made me angry in the first place.
I've never been one to shout or scream when I'm angry. I always just try to be alone for a little while to help cool off. Usually a walk or a long shower helps give me enough alone time to think through my actions before I erupt.
I use relaxation exercises, meditate and use deep slow belly breathing most of the time. Obviously I can not just meditate to calm down when I get angry but things that made me angry do not bother me as much. It is one of the benefits of meditating for 15 minutes a day and using deep slow belly breathing. Just using the deep slow belly breathing helps a lot.
If something was making me angry I would make sure I was using deep slow belly breathing and think of somewhere nice like the beach. The next time you become angry pay attention to how you are breathing. Changing the way you breath changes how you feel. It can also be helpful to realize that anger and stress is bad for your health. So it is good to let the anger go.
I have to say, I use the age old "Count to 10" when I'm angry. Except I usually use the old Sesame Street's "12" song with the pinballs etc and do a little dance. It makes me (and whomever I'm with) giggle enough to defuse the situation.
Sadly I tend to slam things, esp. car doors. I try to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that nothing is worth feeling that way about. Anger only hurts yourself.
As I get older and have children I see the importance of controlling my temper and my tongue if I want to teach my children to not yell at eachother, cuz, or call eachother names. So now when I get angry I will say things like HONEY or DEAR and I use the Word NICE or REALLY! when I really don't like something. For example instead of calling someone stupid or dumb and cuzzing. I Say REALLY! did you just do that, or NICE! that was REALLY NICE SWEETIE!! Way to go DEAR! OK HONEY! and I do try to say it accentuated but not yelling. I've had my kids point out how I loose my temper too often and realized the great importance to change it, if I expect them to do better.
I have never been a " shouter".........NO,
My jaws clench
My words become controlled
My manner is professional,yet controlled
I contain the anger or disappointment
I speak in more formal tones
So, I am told........the veins in my neck beome more noticeable, my jaws more clenched
In short, if you survive my " outbursts".......you are ok
When you can not grasp my " containment" or quiet anger... when you can not see that I am saving you.......you need to fear.
Deep breathing and letting things be for 10 minutes or so. Surprisingly after 10 minutes, my anger would subside. In most cases, it would just disappear. Learned that technique from my fave self-help guru.
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