How do you deal with being shortchanged in life?

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   midget38posted 11 years ago

   How do you deal with being  shortchanged in life?

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   IDONOposted 11 years ago

   By taking a long, honest look at what I am doing with life and when I do, I usually find that I am shortchanging myself.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      When we perceive ourselves as getting the short end of the stick, yes, we usually do indeed!

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      izettlposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I totally disagree. Look at my comment...

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      Perspycaciousposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      "The short end of the stick (bat) used to be the way we decided who should go to bat first in a pickup game of baseball.  It made that person the winner.

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   SportsBetterposted 11 years ago

   I take it one day at a time.  Some days are better than others.
   
   You have ups and downs in life.  One day your up and it never seems like enough.  One day your down and you never think you'll be back up again.
   
   Living in circles.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I guess life's all about balance!

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   omo daddyposted 11 years ago

   By making sure it does not happen again.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Once bitten, twice shy!

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   Perspycaciousposted 11 years ago

   The best way to deal with being "shortchanged in life" is to make a greater investment.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      And give before receiving.

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   izettlposted 11 years ago

   I don't deal with it. It's too exhausting and overwhelming to deal with how many things in life I feel shortchanged by. I just have to look at it as God blessed the crap out of me!
   Seriously...I lost my job in the recession, got Rheumatoid arthritis (previously healthy person, no smoking, drinking, drugs, and exercised and ate very healthy). That's why I'll disagree with the people who comment about how we shortchange ourselves. That's like telling people somehow they caused the hundreds of autoimmune illnesses out there like mine with no cause.
   You basically have to hope one day things will get better. Honestly I think about other people who have it worse or the person who overcame a lot without arms or legs or something like that. I can agree to some extent that it's mind over matter on how we deal with what we've been given, but some days I have just enough energy to deal with what's on my plate, not worrying about why it's there.

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      Billie Paglioloposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I couldn't agree more w/ your statement about people who feel we shortchange ourselves!  You're exactly right.  Did the woman who was hit/ killed by a car on her 30th birthday in LA last week, or the victims of 9/11 shortchange themselves? Best 2 u

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I suppose people who say so mean  that we shortchange ourselves when we behave negatively - the usual negative behaviors - but yes, the circumstances without our control do not constitute short changing ourselves. All the best to you.

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      izettlposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Even though my situation for example, is out of my control, I feel short-changed...losing my youth in my mid-thrities to pain and arthritis. I agree with the people who've said it's usually the outlook we have.

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   Billie Paglioloposted 11 years ago

   Quotes help me. I like this one by Louisa Mae Alcott:  "Life breaks everyone, and many are strong in the broken places."  She also wrote, "I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning to sail my ship."  But the quote that helped me through the worst time of my life is from Neitzche: "He who has a 'why' to his existence, can bear with almost any 'how'.  The secret, I believe, is to work on gratitude for all that is left.  I essentially lost everything I cherished when my husband left.  The picture I was painting of my life and family was ripped to shreds, and I often feel very "short-changed".  However, I look at those thoughts of regret as a bad dragon that sits off of my left shoulder.  I can feed that dragon and make those regrets bigger, or I can look to the beautiful, multi-colored dragon who sits on my right. He is the dragon of plans I have, my projects, my dreams, my appreciation for all that's good in my life.  I try hard to turn away from the bad dragon and look to the good dragon and feed him with all of the attention he deserves.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It seriously depends on what dragon we look at indeed! Often, the fearsome one seems so overpowering. And thanks for looking at the calmer, more positive dragon in your life!

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   lrc7815posted 11 years ago

   I measure the value of what I've lost.  If it is of value, I stand up for what is right.  If not, I learn from it and move on.  I've learned to pick my battles.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Picking battles is so important. Sometimes, the fight's just not worth the time! Thanks for the nugget of wisdom!

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   kimh039posted 11 years ago

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    Anne Pettitposted 11 years ago

    There is no doubt that some individuals have it easier than others.  There is nothing that can be done about the circumstances we were born in, or bad things that happen that are beyond our control. 
    I think the best way to deal with it is to overcome circumstances with action such as education, or physical activity, or helping others.  In a person's quest to overcome, the person will probably find that he/she is happier and that being "shortchanged" is no longer an obstacle.  Being "shortchanged" may even become a gift because it gives a person strengths others do not have.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       We should indeed turn our shortcomings into strengths - that way, feeling shot changed is easier to deal with!

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    peoplepower73posted 11 years ago

    In order to be short changed in life, you have to compare yourself with something or someone.  Once you realize we are all unique, there is no comparison that has to be made.  We are all special in our own way.  If there is something that is giving you negative feelings, count your blessings. If you still have negative feelings, reframe your focus.  There is alway a flip-side to the coin of every issue. Focus on the positive side of the coin, not the negaive side.

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       Born2care2001posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       A fabulous answer that resonates with the healing and forward looking portion of my soul.
       Thank you!

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       And that's the power of positive thinking!

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    FatFreddysCatposted 11 years ago

    I blame everyone except for myself. That's the American way y'know!!
    
    ...kidding, folks, I'm kidding.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, the best is no blame at all!

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    skgraoposted 11 years ago

    IN INDIA THAT TOO DOWN SOUTH WE CALL IT LUCK IF WE GET WHAT WE WANT AND CALL IT FATE WHEN WE DO NOT GET WHAT WE WANT.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Do you accept your fate quietly?

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    newcalendarposted 11 years ago

    Take it on the chin and keep going really, the thing is not to let yourself become bitter by taking it personally. Some people or things will have you come off worse than better. As long as you don't end up becoming bitter then it's just another event in life's rich tapestry!

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Always look on the bright side of life!

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    msorenssonposted 11 years ago

    I used to ask that question...I think in our lives we will experience something that looks like an injustice, sometimes more than once..as in the book "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
    
    It takes a long time to see those "injustices" as an avenue for growth. Certainly not while one is steeped into the situation.
    
    The best way is to reverse the situation. Will you take an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth, knowing that you can, or will you turn the other cheek? It does not matter what you choose. Just know that either action is a path.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, we all know that we have to look the other way, and doing do is the difficult part, especially when we are in the situation. Just know to look the right way, in ripe time.

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       msorenssonposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       We learn from it..

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Indeed!

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    DAWNEMARSposted 11 years ago

    Fight it all the way. When I can't fight it -I try hard to go with the flow. I suppose that some things are just worth more than money. Others are worth little now and more later on.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       We do our best with what we're given, indeed.

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       DAWNEMARSposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       This is it Midget. We can really only do what we can and there will always be people who like to be mean and unfair to others-sadly. Ignore and carry on.

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    D Shannahanposted 11 years ago

    I accept my circumstances, and accept that I have the power to change them.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Indeed we do! May not always be in the way we expect, but we do have that control. We have to decide to take it!

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    Born2care2001posted 11 years ago

    This question and its subsequent answers combine for some of the most enlightening and thought provoking dialogue I have seen here on hub pages. In my humble opinion there are no right or wrong, black or white, or easy answers.
    For me, I have learned that when I feel shortchanged it is an indication that I have some internal re-evaluation to accomplish. I first look at my definition of short-changed. (Short changed compared to what)
    Each time I do this I find that I had been developing a negative view in that particular area of my life. That re-evaluation or self-examination causes me to focus on being more grateful for what I do have and eventually the feeling of being short changed dissipates. (Not over night mind you, but it does dissipate)
    I also want to take this opportunity to thank my fellow hubbers here who have offered pieces of themselves, exposed their inner feelings so to speak, to help others see a potentially different and healing perspective!!!

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       peoplepower73posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you!

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Gratitude is indeed the key....and if we stop looking at our circumstances as debilitating, they're so much easier to overcome! And thanks too, for contributing to the discussion and I hope that it provides the healing we all need!

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       Charluposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Awesome answer

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    Doc Snowposted 11 years ago

    It's not clear to me that I have been "shortchanged in life."  The metaphor seems to refer to situations where I "get back" less than I "should", perhaps in relation to what I "paid" in terms of time, money, effort or caring.
    
    But while I sometimes feel that I put out a lot and received little, I must in fairness recognize that I am also the recipient of a long, long list of advantages for which I put out exactly nothing.  Who can say how these things balance out?  So, how can I say that my occasional feelings of being "shortchanged" really have any validity?
    
    Best to get on with playing the hand I've been dealt.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Life has a strange idea of balance, doesn't she? But you have a valid point indeed!

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    conradofontanillaposted 11 years ago

    Being shortchanged occurs in a relationship between two individuals. Shortchanging is engaged in mostly by institutions, corporations and countries; the individual is a victim of social injustice. read more

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    gmarquardtposted 11 years ago

    With a cold one and the realization that that's just the way it is.

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       bizzymomposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I like your answer - straight and to the point!

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Acceptance- then move forward.

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    bizzymomposted 11 years ago

    I think you just have to keep your chin up and look on the bright side.  There might be people who have more than you, but there are also people who have less.  It's a good idea to make the best out of what you have.  Always look toward making your life better; it doesn't always have to be with something big.  Start with something small and be happy!

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       And be grateful that you have what you do!

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    Charluposted 11 years ago

    Believe there is no such thing, and learn how to count your blessings opposed to your misfortunes.
    
    Everything in life happens for a reason and believe me there are times (especially lately) that I question it and then another door opens that gives me a new purpose or reason for being grateful.  With every medical issue, passing of others, etc. etc etc. I have learned that what is here on this earth, and my spirituality is a gift incomparable to any amount of money, relationship, or material thing that I could ever have.
    
    Remember if it wasn't for those days when it seems all is lost and there is no way to get out of the hole we seem to have fallen into, the days when we are really blessed would have nothing to be compared too.
    
    A blessing received is the result of a blessing given. Think about it.
    
    According to The Secret you receive what you perceive which revolves around our attitude and thoughts. Try it you'll be amazed at the results. I think it's a matter of faith.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I'm a fan of The Secret too! Yes, we get what we perceive as reality - the thing is to really have the right attitude. That's the hard part we have to work on!

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    Cristaleposted 11 years ago

    I pray to God daily and always try to be positive. I also always try to be a blessing to others every where I go.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       And you are a blessing to this discussion!

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    MrMaranathaposted 11 years ago

    When I get short Changed it is only because I myself neglected to count the change before walking away from the cashier.
    
    You always have the option of speaking up when you get the short end of the stick.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       A good move too, Mr Maranatha!

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    susanzhengposted 11 years ago

    Something happened, it just happened, We cannot change the fact.  The only thing we can do is to find out why it happened and to avoid it happening again.  Learn something from what happened to you and keep going forward.  Our personal power is very limited.  I would do whatever I need and whatever I can and leave the rest to our Creator.  He knows everything and can take care of everything else.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       We cannot count on ourselves- prayer gives the ultimate assistance.

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    Eve Mitchellposted 11 years ago

    Take it as it comes.  We all get shortchanged somehow, in some way, many times in our lives, and have very little control over it.  Personally, it's easier for me to rant about it to someone willing to listen, and then try to move on and learn from the experience if possible.  I think being shortchanged by others, and by circumstances beyond our control, are opportunities for learning even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Time is the key, certainly, and if we let it, it heals all wounds.

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    Larry Wallposted 11 years ago

    I do the best I can, with the abilities I have and accept the things I cannot change.

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       midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Work with what we have and be grateful for it.

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