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Romance: Marriage is Not a Bed of Roses

Updated on January 31, 2009

Avoid Tension Building Up

Many couples lose passion in their relationship over time but this does not mean it is natural. This has made many people out there to believe that after honeymoon, couples get used to each other and romance disappears. The truth is that couples can work out their relationship to avoid tension building up.

Stop Feeling Love

When you are falling in love, the romance is very high and the sweet newly married believes all will be like that for the rest of their future. But why shouldn’t it be so? Once you are in marriage and you stop feeling love and you start feeling like you are roommates, then realize that the dreaded unhealthy emotional habits are just on the brim. Emotional habits are neglects that you make over several years – when you stop making your marriage your number one priority, when you stop talking to your partner about your needs, when you stop resolving and healing hidden resentments, and so on and so forth.

Marriage is Not a Bed of Roses

Marriage is not a bed of roses. Couples, be on the lookout for the signs of resistance, resentment, rejection and repression. Treat each other well regardless of the age of your relationship as honeymoon has no time limit.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Couples, be on the lookout for the signs of resistance, resentment, rejection and repression. Treat each other well regardless of the age of your relationship as honeymoon has no time limit.

Is Your Marriage In Resistance, Resentment, Rejection, Or Repression Stage?

Couples, be on the lookout for the signs of resistance, resentment, rejection and repression. The moment you notice a little tension building up, communicate your feelings with your partner. This will heal the tension that is creating that wall between you. Acknowledge all that emotional tensions that might be there. Treat each other well regardless of the age of your relationship as honeymoon has no time limit. Ask yourselves where your relationship is – in resistance, resentment, rejection, repression or “We are happily married”? If after trying to resolve your differences the relationship cannot still work, leave immediately otherwise you may end up living a very miserable long life. Be happy. Life is very short and enjoyable only if you are happy and free.

If you notice a little tension building up in your marriage, send your partner a gift of a laptop to heal the tension.

Loving Your Partner

In the real sense, marriage is not a living arrangement but rather a commitment to loving your partner and doing everything you can to make your relationship work. The fact remains that, unless one is willing to be an active participant in the relationship then there is no partnership. You may want to make it work alone but marriage is a two-person affair. If your partner is not willing to make it work then there is no need of staying in that relationship.

Warning Signs

But before you reach the point of getting out of your relationship, make a move to salvage your marriage. There are warning signs to look for which shows that the relationship is headed for bigger trouble.

Resistance is Built by those Little Things

Be on the look out for those little things that bother you about somebody - those little annoyances that are not life shattering issues. Your man may leave the bathing towel on the floor or your woman may leave the lights on during a sunny day. Two days ago she had said something to hurt your feelings. This is tension building up and it is resistance. Resistance is built by those little things. It’s natural not to want to get too picky over such small issues. Two weeks latter more resistance appears and you push it down too. With time the resistance will build up until you will start feeling resentment.

Anger Killing Your Passion

With resentment, you are not only annoyed but angry. You start feeling frustrated, critical thoughts against your lover, a little more unloving and a bit more distant from your lover. With resentment, your s^x life starts to change as your anger is killing your passion. With time, the resentment builds up and turns into rejection.

Hearts Have Separated

Rejection is separation. You may be living together but in the real sense your hearts have separated. At this point you hardly see each other. There is a lot of fighting or criticizing your partner. You start telling your friends things critical of your partner. If you have not separated then you are fantasizing about leaving. There is no more s^x life in rejection and you keep telling yourself that was it not because of the children you would have left a long time ago. If you survive rejection then with time you will enter into repression.

Repress Your Joy in Life

Repression is numbing yourself so that you can be comfortable. You comfort yourself by accepting that things are not all that bad, you are too old to experience romance, anyway, or that we are staying together with this “beast” just because of the sake of children. This repression tension will successfully repress your joy in life. Fortunately, when you get into repression point, you will appear very content. You may never argue with your partner and you may behave very politely towards one another. People will envy your relationship until one day you will get divorced.

Be Happy

Couples, be on the lookout for the signs of resistance, resentment, rejection and repression. The moment you notice a little tension building up, communicate your feelings with your partner. This will heal the tension that is creating that wall between you. Acknowledge all that emotional tensions that might be there. Treat each other well regardless of the age of your relationship as honeymoon has no time limit. Ask yourselves where your relationship is – in resistance, resentment, rejection, repression or “We are happily married”? If after trying to resolve your differences the relationship cannot still work, leave immediately otherwise you may end up living a very miserable long life. Be happy. Life is very short and enjoyable only if you are happy and free.

Marriage is Not a Bed of Roses

To you young gals and guys, marriage is not a bed of roses contrary to what you may have been led to believe in your courting lessons. Marriage is a very long journey full of complications with deep valleys and steep ridges.

Breaking Other Peoples’ Marriages

And if you enjoy breaking other peoples’ marriages or you want an opening to start a new relationship, the best point to strike is to do an accurate timing of the rejection point and then you strike accordingly. Chances are that you will not go wrong and you will be embraced with both hands wide open.

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