How do I get my boyfriend to give me more attention?

1. 61

   Shrimpy Lattyposted 10 years ago

   buy him something or ask hom to take you out send some time with him

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2. 51

   Michael Doriaposted 10 years ago

   Give more attention to him first.  Show him you want more attention in a way he'll understand.  Be positive -- ask the Universe to have him give you more attention.  Maybe he needs to hear it from you. Did you ask him? Did you ask him calmly and lovingly so as not to make him mad or turn him away? Have you given yourself enough attention? If not, give yourself more attention. With that said...has he already given you attention or tried but you're too preoccupied with thinking he isn't? Think about what you want, not about what you think you aren't getting.

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3. 48

   emmabrownposted 10 years ago

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4. 60

   Rekha Christinaposted 10 years ago

   hello allabouty,
   
   First and foremost I see that it was awhile ago since you asked this question, so hopefully your situation has improved and this answer will help someone else.
   
   The way that men are wired is based into three very important components, which include;
   
   1. To be madly in love with you he must feel physical attraction to you, in addition to emotional attraction.
   
   2.Men are natural born competitors and always will be. What this means to the girlfriend or wife is that he has to feel like he has to compete for you and your attention.
   
   3. In order to strive in a romantic relationship, a man has to feel trusted, supported and appreciated, and like you are not trying to take his freedom away from him. If anything your love should set him free.
   
   
   So if your man is making excuses why he cant see you, or that he is to busy to see you, its because he is not getting something that he needs from you as his woman Which by what you described in your question, he is already getting too much of your attention that he isn't having to compete for.So here is what I recommend that you or any other woman is going through this situation do.
   
   1. STOP TALKING ABOUT SEEING HIM.
   
   Ever heard the saying " Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it the more it will elude( run away) from you, but when you stop chasing it will land on your shoulder" ?   Well the same goes for relationships. The more you try to chase a man, the more he will run away from you. So stop talking about wanting to see him, and let him bring it up to you. Get into yourself actually become busy, so busy that he has to wonder why you aren't calling or responding as quickly as you use too.
   
   2. When he does call you. be polite charming. feminine and funny. if he asks where have you been say you've been super busy, but you've been thinking about him. Dont ask him when can you see him, tell him to call you later,let him think to do that on his own, because if he wants to do any of those things he will.
   
   3. This actually should be first. Realize that you are a beautiful incredible woman and that he is lucky to have you. Even  if you think that other women might be prettier than you, there is and never will be another woman like you,AND SHE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GIVE WHAT YOU DO. REMEMBER THAT!
   
   IT'S A LESSON i LEARNED MYSELF!
   
   I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU, AND IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTACT ME
   WITH ANY OTHER QUESTIONS EMAIL LUVISHERGAME@GMAIL.COM

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5. 59

   adoniaposted 10 years ago

   Hi Allbouty...you should be more focus on your work. take good care of yourself. Show him that you are busy in your work or hanging out with friends.if he really feels about you....surely gives you attention. you asked this question 4 years ago.... may be now you are settled or going to be...

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6. 48

   pateludayposted 10 years ago

   Make him jealous be friendly to some one else it is not wrong....He may be loosing interest in you age does not make any difference.

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7. 60

   Wynter Galeposted 10 years ago

   When you care about someone, you make time for them. When my husband and I were dating, he would be dogged tired after work (he works night shifts), but he would still want to come see me. You shouldn't have to change who you are as a person in order to make a relationship work. However, every relationship will have its ups and downs, and communication is vital. Talk to him calmly and kindly and tell him how you feel, give him time to respond, and if there is a significant issue, and see if the issue can be resolved. A relationship cannot be one-sided and there had to be some form of compatibility or agreement between the two people. If one isn't willing to put forth the effort, that person obviously doesn't care enough about the relationship.

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8. 71

   RandallJonasposted 10 years ago

   He is neglecting you. You should not have to change your behavior. If a person loves you than that is all. It is unconditional. I learned this the hard way. Be yourself. If he is not happy with that  - leave. It may sound harsh but there are others out there who will treat you properly.

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9. 52

   Dr Sonia Gillposted 10 years ago

   try to catch his mind what he want from you.

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10. 61

    Chris Dela Cruzposted 10 years ago

    I completely understand your situation. I usually date older guys in their 30s and it is difficult. Especially considering they are established in their career, usually they just want to be in a relationship with someone who can be independent and doesn't have the "selfish" state of mind. Being in out early 20's we can't help, but be selfish. It is the years we want a lot of attention and have it be about us. When the guy is in his 30s they are more than likely established in their career and already went through their selfish phase that it is easy for them to be independent. I think that a way to get your boyfriend to give you more attention is do spontaneous adventures with them. Leave cute notes and see how they respond. Also have the open communication and if you feel insecure about something, another best way to do it is communicating it with your boyfriend how you feel as silly as you feel. More than likely they are accepting to it and are understanding.

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11. 68

    Gem Legacyposted 10 years ago

    I went through similar thoughts before and I would get frustrated with my guy. I had to dig deep and figure out why I had such a need for attention. You may want to look up a free Ebook about Co-dependency 101, and see if anything resonates. What seemed to help us the most (rather than nagging him or starting a fight over it, or even feeling sorry for myself), I would walk up to him, hug my arms around him and tell him that I want his attention. Men think differently than women, and I am not sure how you guys communicate, but being clear and blunt helped us tons because he knew exactly what I was looking for. If he is worth your love, he will rise to the occasion and meet your needs (reasonably if he isn't in the middle of something that's important to him).
    
    It could also mean the depth of your relationship. If he still has no reaction to you than he may not be the one to fulfill what you need in a relationship. If he tries, than it will work itself out over time and get better and better. If you guys have problems, he may keep a distance, or he may be the typw to show his affections in unique ways....I guess it all depends on the root of each of your actions.
    
    Try reading the The Five Love Languages. Simple concept but helps bring perspective to something we may overlook. I think youtube may have an audiobook but don't hold me to that.

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12. 55

    Tina Widlerposted 10 years ago

    Show him that you will do any thing he says.

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13. 68

    tom yamposted 10 years ago

    Maybe you should pay him more attention. After all, you only get out what you put in. But before trying that, you should speak to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe he is not aware that you are unhappy or that this situation even exists.

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14. 58

    EtherInfomatposted 10 years ago

    He could just be really laid back, or doesn't have much energy. You could see if you two could move closer together, or move in with each other.

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15. 56

    peter565posted 10 years ago

    1. In a relationship you need to open and honest with each other.  Only by doing so, can you have a real relationship
    
    2.  A lot of people say "love ain't meant to be easy", if it is the right person, then anything is feel easy, but if it ain't easy, then you need to break up

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16. 60

    Katya Drakeposted 10 years ago

    It sounds like it could be one of two things.
    Either you need a confidence boost in your relationship, or he is taking you for granted.
    If it is the former, step back and take a good look at your relationship. Why do you feel insecure? Does he treat you well? Has he cheated on you? Are you insecure about yourself? Once you have figured it out, and it may take a while, work on whatever the problem is.
    If he is taking you for granted then you will want to back off for a while. Don't play games just back off. Don't call him as often or tell him you can't get together for a couple weeks. If he starts treating you better or asking for more attention then you know he's taking you for granted. At that point you wlll need to decide if you want to stay in a relationship where you are not appreciated. I wouldn't.

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17. 51

    George Timothyposted 10 years ago

    Ask him for it ! Then do whatever works to encourage his attention whether it be through your personality, seductiveness, charm, clothing, perfume and then monitor his responses and you soon have all the attention in his world.

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18. 59

    Valorie Esquilonaposted 10 years ago

    don't be too clingy.  boys don't like clingy girlfriends.  if you think he is neglecting you, talk to him.  communication is one of the keys of a successful romantic relationship.  maybe he would be willing to take some actions to change his ways in order for you to feel good but, that is if he really loves you. now if you have already told him what you feel and he still acts the same, it's time for you to move on girl and forget about him because he's not that into you and he's not serious about your relationship.  don't let him make you as an OPTION, he should make you as his PRIORITY.  try to ignore him and observe if he gives you more attention.  doing this will give him a warning that you can live with or without him.  you should also listen to his opinions, maybe he is just busy preparing for your future.  good luck, girl!

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19. 59

    Dr Arsalan1989posted 10 years ago

    Marry him... than your attention needs will be full filled but if it doesn't work have 2 or 3 kids

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20. 60

    j Warrenposted 10 years ago

    you are significantly younger than your parter, theoretically you should be getting all the attention you need

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21. 89

    Vvittaposted 10 years ago

    By loving yourself more and not looking towards him for attention. Seeking attention tells a lot about an individual and it is not something that makes a woman attractive. Confidence and poise is more attractive and this in turn will make him seek your company!

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22. 51

    Catinnabwilliamsposted 10 years ago

    Find something that he like and come more involved in it with him, let him know that you care about the things you like. I know that us as women feel that it is all about what want but it's not. Do something different to spice your relationship and maybe that will work.

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23. 62

    bwinwrightposted 10 years ago

    A wise woman once said, "Treat your man like a king and he will give you the world."  Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, said that the most powerful motivational force in the universe is created when you combine sex, love, and romance.  Perhaps you could surprise your man some evening when he comes home from work by having  a couple of candles burning and a bottle of wine chilling in the living room, with some nice soft music playing in the background.  When he enters the house, call out to him from the bedroom to have a seat and pour a couple of glasses of wine and that you will be right out to see him.  Then, you meet him wearing a very lovely see-through teddy and high heels.  You have your makeup on perfectly and your hair is perfect..  You look like the woman every man wants.  Make him have at least one drink with you before he ravages you.  Allow him to really appreciate the beautiful woman you are, the woman who clearly appreciates him enough to go to so much trouble to please him.  Believe me, he will love you more than you can even believe possible.  This is what men want more than anything else.  Do it and you will be very glad you did.

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24. 70

    anweshablogsposted 10 years ago

    By not seeking it at all....i mean...don't keep on doing attention seeking behavior...that's the only way to make him feel curious about you, that what are you busy with...and so on...so he will automatically become attentive to you

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25. 61

    ubrishposted 10 years ago

    if you give him more and more attention when he is facing bad time he will always remember you all his bad time as well as good time and love you more than before

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26. 60

    tstark92posted 10 years ago

    maybe its time to find someone who will appreciate you and give you the attention?

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27. 60

    chonieposted 10 years ago

    Tell him you are critically ill and the doctor had been given a death for death..hehehe

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28. 60

    hijamaposted 10 years ago

    the best thing you should to do, is talk with him about all

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29. 68

    chaitanyasaivbposted 10 years ago

    Show your feelings, and how much you are caring your boyfriend, through  your eyes. Because, Eyes are really a great way, to express your love, to your beloved one. Try to increase the times of your visit. Don't think that, he is neglecting you. Because, he must have been facing some hard situations, and he has been hiding his problems from you, just to see happiness in your eyes.

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30. 60

    soniaporochaposted 10 years ago

    express our love toward him. he must be understand

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31. 61

    reneeriffleposted 10 years ago

    First of all, you need to find things to do besides dwell on making your boyfriend like you. I don't mean this to sound harsh, but the truth is, a clingy, needy gal is not as attractive to a guy as an independent, confident female is. Find hobbies that don't include him, catch up with friends.... it will make your relationship healthier emotionally. I would maybe reschedule your next visit, take some time to focus on you, and when you see him again, talk to him about where he stands with you. I know that putting off spending time together is the last thing you may want to do, but it may give his feelings for you a chance to catch up to where yours are and visa versa
    It's important to remember to consider your feelings and needs too, not just his and it is a LOT easier to find someone else that is looking for the same thing than it is to try and change someone, even if you do temporarily, it won't last long term and they will only feel resentment towards you later, leading to an unhappy relationship.
    Best of luck!

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32. 60

    RoxanneFaithposted 10 years ago

    Do you do things he likes or both of what you and he likes? One way to get his attention is to talk about things he is interested in. It helps a lot when he feels like you are really interested in what he likes.

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33. 77

    Besarienposted 10 years ago

    Standing in front of the TV works for me. Seriously the best thing to do is tell him you feel neglected because there is an excellent chance that he thinks everything between you is fine. A lot of men do not read social cues the way women do.
    
    Tell him what he can do to make you feel less neglected too so that he doesn't have to think up ideas that will likely be over the top or just not what you want or need from him.
    
    If he knows there is a problem and seems unwilling to work on it then it is time to move on so that you both can find the right person who is out there looking for you.

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34. 60

    helpavisitorposted 10 years ago

    First, try to  know what he loves more than your face if there is any you could think of then, fall in love with that particular thing. If there in non then make him jealous!

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35. 61

    Wajahat2512posted 10 years ago

    Just make a change in yourself, your dress, way to talk and so on. He will automatically pay the attention to you.
    
    A change in personality is the best way to get someone attraction.

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36. 61

    Michaelcherninposted 10 years ago

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37. 65

    cenarius27posted 10 years ago

    Make another, you will automatically get the attention.

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38. 51

    onontof2posted 10 years ago

    You should find out the reason of neglecting and you should try to solve. Though your boyfriend does not stop neglecting you then you should less your attention what you do for him.

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39. 61

    rashblogposted 10 years ago

    Just be yourself and let him be himself...don't pressure him anything, keep yourself neat and attractive. He should be attentive to you..if not he is a dumb.
    
    Read more here..http://digitalromanceinc.com/
    http://www.answermeguru.com/

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40. 58

    Muhammed Mujtabaposted 10 years ago

    Hello, so I’m going to speak to you from a guy’s prospective, and I am going to be totally honest with you. If you don’t want honesty, do not read this.
    
    The reason why you feel as though you are being neglected by him is because he is neglecting you, and not the age difference. Love knows no age! Like wise, neglect knows no age! If he really cares about you and genuinely feel as though he can’t do without you or wouldn‘t want to live without you in his life, he would make every effort to hear your voice, to see you, and just to be in your presence. Communicate, tell him that you feel neglected. Don’t imply it to him. Be straightforward, for we never get your implications. If he wants to give you a long list of why he can’t do this or do that, it means that he does not care enough about you to try. He needs to try, and should be trying. “When a man Loves a Women” by Michael Bolton and others is an accurate description of what a man is willing to go through for his love. The last thing that you should know about guys, and it is probably the worst part, but it is a possibility that you can not discount: older guys often times get younger girlfriends from different towns that are meant to be side girlfriends. I’m not saying that this is the case, but I am saying that you should be aware of that possibility. In that context, there is no real need for him to try.
    
    Sweetheart, you are saying that you want more from him, and I personally feel that you deserve more form him. If he is not willing to try to give more of himself, or he is not able to give you more, you have to conclude that he doesn‘t deserve you, for, at that point, he doesn‘t care about your feelings, nor does he see your worth.

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41. 0

    MrDanielAbramposted 10 years ago

    Tell him you are feeling neglected. Be open in your thoughts and feelings.

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    1. 60

       Vortrek Grafixposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Indeed, lots of guys miss subtleties. Then when passivity builds to the breaking point of emotions and\or the dreaded waterworks the guy gets blindsided as his false sense of harmony , previously shielded by virtue of her subtlety, is shattered.

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42. 68

    Dressage Husbandposted 10 years ago

    The fact you are from different towns is probably the issue here. He is older, and probably has a local girlfriend or two. My advice would be to find a more attentive man locally. While distance relationships can work out my advice would be unless he makes you feel like the only woman in the World when you do meet and he is desperate to call you every day then you are better off finding another man.
    
    This from a person whose wife was over 3500 miles away while they courted. Did I do all of that? Not really, but she showed me that was how she felt. She never once made me feel there might even be a glimmer of possibility that she might consider anyone else.
    
    That is what it takes to make a distance relationship work. If they can not do that then you deserve better! Simple as that.

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43. 60

    abhilashatechposted 10 years ago

    Follow this rule:
    You want him to do X, but if you tell him to do X it ruins it because then he would be doing it because you told him to and not because his emotions/love for you told him to.

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    1. 60

       Vortrek Grafixposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       While that is true, guys often miss subtleties. Easy test: if there are no motivational endorphins from a guys interacting with his lady, then that elusive chemistry making love the stuff of dreams is not firing on all pistons.

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    2. 92

       cam8510posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       http://cam8510.hubpages.com/hub/The-Hub … nt-Go-Away

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44. 51

    Josephpb95posted 10 years ago

    Stop looking for attention let it find you

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45. 75

    dandelionweedsposted 10 years ago

    By ignoring him, this will help and I don't think age has anything to do with it. You can make him pay attention by not giving a care. Then you will see how serious he is.

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46. 71

    melbelposted 10 years ago

    I think maybe focus on yourself for a while instead of focusing on the feedback you're getting from your boyfriend. It really sounds like an insecurity issue. Learn to love yourself and if your boyfriend isn't totally into you for it, do you really want to be with him?

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47. 0

    SteviJayposted 10 years ago

    You could try giving him more attention and hopefully it will be reciprocated. If this doesn't work I would turn my attention towards another maybe closer relationship. You are only 22...you should have it all not just what attention you can drag out of someone. Keep Looking!

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48. 61

    kbdressmanposted 10 years ago

    Have you honestly told him how you feel? If you can't honestly and openly discuss issues and work together to solve them, find someone with whom you can.

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49. 81

    chuckandus6posted 10 years ago

    So it's not really something's you can force,it might be the limited time you get to see him making you feel that way.
    Spontaneous is.the.best way to go if you like hanging with him try to relax and enjoy the time together

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50. 67

    evancatposted 10 years ago

    you could always sleep with his best friend, video tape it and show him? He'd give you all sorts of attention then.
    
    On a real note, best thing to do is hit the "next" button and move on. You wouldn't be asking this question if he truly made you feel special and wanted.

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