Do you think it reflects negatively on you as a person if you talk bad about you

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  1. BobbiRant profile image60
    BobbiRantposted 12 years ago

    Do you think it reflects negatively on you as a person if you talk bad about your ex?

    Sometimes people will talk bad about their ex, but often those exes are sheer players and bad news.  Do you think it reflects on you badly as a person if you talk badly about the ex, or would you want to know if a bad person was back in the dating scene?

  2. MickS profile image59
    MickSposted 12 years ago

    I don't know really, I've always found that I've rarely had anything to say about them anyway, the thread is cut and are they no part of my life.

  3. Loveslove profile image59
    Lovesloveposted 12 years ago

    If the ex is bad then why not...but slagging off your ex for the sake of being nasty is not good or needed !
    I have an ex and altough he did the dirty on me he is not a bad man and i would never slag him off to his son,another woman or anyone else.
    I wouldnt have gone back to him anyway..good or bad.
    Talking badly about anyone at all does you no good.

  4. nightwork4 profile image60
    nightwork4posted 12 years ago

    it depends on what your saying. if your ex and you just didn't work out and you are nit-picking at everything you can then it's wrong but if your ex used to beat you or something like that then tell people just so they can be forewarned.

  5. Loving_Life profile image61
    Loving_Lifeposted 12 years ago

    It all depends on the 'ex' if theyre definitely a bad person that you wouldn't even wish your worst enemy would date, then say what theyre like.
    But if you're just saying bad things about them because for instance they broke up with you, then don't say anything mean about them

  6. tysanders profile image60
    tysandersposted 12 years ago

    I think it's a negative reflection if a person talks bad about their ex. If I dated him and then talk badly about him what does that say about me? If we can't say anything good don't say anything at all.

  7. ImChemist profile image59
    ImChemistposted 12 years ago

    I don't like to speak about my ex in good or bad , because now he is past and to continue my life i have to forget ...
    How i forget him if I'm still speaking about him!!!

  8. Silver Poet profile image73
    Silver Poetposted 12 years ago

    In general it isn't good to talk badly about someone, but there comes a time when a bit of truth needs to be told in order to warn the unsuspecting.

  9. GNelson profile image60
    GNelsonposted 12 years ago

    If you are talking bad about your ex than it is not over for you yet.

  10. profile image0
    Mr Tindleposted 12 years ago

    Generally I think people need to move on. This stands if the ex was good or bad. Some basic referrences may be ok, but why dwell on the past!

  11. R.Cochran profile image76
    R.Cochranposted 12 years ago

    I agree with a lot of comments on here.I generally don't speak bad of anyone, or try not too. As far as ex's go, most of the people I know who do, usually have some kind of axe to grind and do it more to make themselves feel better about their situation.

  12. Vaiebhav profile image79
    Vaiebhavposted 12 years ago

    More than it reflecting negatively on yourself, it probably indicates that you are holding a grudge which is more injurious to your mental health. Holding a grudge is like holding hot coal in your palm, it is your palm that gets burnt in the process.

  13. onlinearticlespk profile image57
    onlinearticlespkposted 12 years ago

    iy we talk about badly about oir ex bad things then it is not a negativity.It will be a good experience and you can make more rational decision about the same issue next time.If i am a good person then no one can speak bad about me. Actually it depend on your thinking which guides you what to speak about ex.

  14. craftybegonia profile image61
    craftybegoniaposted 12 years ago

    Why would your current one think you'd do differently by him if you talk bad about your ex?

  15. Misty May profile image84
    Misty Mayposted 12 years ago

    I think it's alright when the breakup if fresh and your talking to girlfriends but when your back on the dating scene I believe you just need to let go. I've heard guys I was with bashing their ex's before and all I could think about was is this what they are going to say about me if we broke up? I makes people sound bitter. Warning a friend or another girl is one thing bashing is different. Just leave it at "he isn't really boyfriend materal"

  16. profile image0
    CarolCTposted 12 years ago

    If you are saying bad things about them what does it say about you. Better to say nothing and concentrate on moving on with your life.

  17. PinotsHub profile image60
    PinotsHubposted 12 years ago

    venting to a friend sure... telling the whole world, unless you are perfect, I don't think its necessary

  18. duffsmom profile image60
    duffsmomposted 12 years ago

    I think it reflects negatively on the person talking bad about their ex.  Talking bad about anyone is a classless thing to do.  Take your bumps and bruises from the past relationship and move on with dignity--let it go.

  19. stricktlydating profile image83
    stricktlydatingposted 12 years ago

    I would see no problem with someone talking negatively about their ex.  Afterall, they're an ex for a reason.  I'd be more worried if they were daydreaming of an ex.  Also, I'd much rather my boyfriend talk negatively about an ex than be telling me how great she was!  Eeek!

  20. EssyRedfield profile image61
    EssyRedfieldposted 12 years ago

    It takes a strong girl to take the moral high ground and not say anything sometimes. But if, for example, he's being a real douchebag and hitting on one of your friends, she deserves to know.

  21. stclairjack profile image80
    stclairjackposted 12 years ago

    i try not to talk "bad" about an ex,.. i do think that when the context is apropriate, and the timing is right, i speak the truth about an ex,.. if the thruth is bad,... well, hard to argue w/ the truth. theres always good and bad things to remember,... what you say about others says far more about you than it does them.

  22. Jordan Riley profile image57
    Jordan Rileyposted 12 years ago

    probably yes....especially to people you are not close to. If venting to your close friends, i guess it is okay...

  23. Rockgirl85 profile image59
    Rockgirl85posted 12 years ago

    If the relationship turn out bad for both of you, how do you know it will be the same for the next person? Sometimes people make mistakes in a relationship and do not take the relationship serious, which means he/she isn't really interested in you. I think it is alright to talk about bad relationships but don't spend your energy talking bad about that person it is not worth it.

  24. tinaweha profile image60
    tinawehaposted 12 years ago

    You are allowed to talk crap about your ex as long as you don't have children who might hear what you say.  However, talking too much about your ex on a date is a sure sign that you are not ready for another commitment.

  25. LeeWalls profile image61
    LeeWallsposted 12 years ago

    A person that talks about his ex forgets that he/she was married to him. You got a divorce for a reason and it's not up to you to save the world. I think if he's dating again others will realize he's bad news and will drop him just like you did.

  26. mckbirdbks profile image78
    mckbirdbksposted 12 years ago

    It does reflect badly. And your friends don't want to hear it. Your family already agrees with you. Then again it is not wise to keep it all bottled up. Talk badly about your ex. You know they are not speaking kindly about their ex's.

  27. Beth100 profile image70
    Beth100posted 12 years ago

    Talking badly about anyone is not appropriate.  The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear someone speaking negatively about another person to me is:  I wonder if they speak about me like that?  To answer with honesty when one is asked a question is acceptable, but to seek out an audience or entertain an audience by speaking about another person in a bad light is not acceptable. 

    If children are involved, this impacts them tremendously in a very negative way.  They feel that they need to choose and/or defend the parent that is being attacked.  It's selfish and immature to behave this way as the well being of the children is not being put in the forefront.  If you need to vent, then speak to a counsellor or confidente, but not to everyone.

  28. mrpooper profile image42
    mrpooperposted 12 years ago

    If people are still talking about their ex then they are not really an ex. Forget the ex and move on.

  29. profile image49
    BASKETBALLKING123posted 12 years ago


  30. Amy Becherer profile image69
    Amy Bechererposted 12 years ago

    I think the truth, BobbiRant, as you see it is always a positive.  I try to be kind, but not at the expense of telling it like it is.  Talk, if not truth, is a lot of wasted energy, and worse, if untrue, reflective on the integrity of the liar.  Human beings in general spend too much time, in my opinion, trying to validate their reality.  It is unnecessary and often turns to bite the "talker" in the ass.  I have learned from you, BobbiRant, that the truth will set you free.  There is a great deal of release in venting and I believe it is healthy as long as the venter is moving onward and upward and not "stuck" in an endless cycle of vindication and bitterness.

  31. Shelvajay profile image61
    Shelvajayposted 12 years ago

    Having worn these shoes just two days ago, being the person speaking badly, I do not think it reflects negatively on me in this instance, because we still have unresolved issues, on both ends, and there are/were things that needed to be known to all, that were not known before I started talking.  Some serious things, not just HIS BREATH STINKS either.  But I am getting past this.  Once I do, I will have nothing to say about him, at all...

    But in general, I don't think it reflects negatively on anybody if one speaks badly about their ex.  But it does show that there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed, on either or both sides.

  32. Apostle Jack profile image60
    Apostle Jackposted 12 years ago

    Choices reflect good and evil of negative and positive spirituality.GOSSIP,BACK-BITTING is a conversation of negative proportions,and it ALWAYS come back in a negative consequence.

  33. LillyGrillzit profile image82
    LillyGrillzitposted 12 years ago

    Great Question Ms. Bobbi Rant.

    This is a loaded question, and much of it would depend on the circumstances, and what kind of trash is being talked:

    1). Was the ex a perv who tried to diddle the kids?
    2). Did he/she clean out your savings, steal your credit?
    3). Is the person violent or truly unhinged?
    4). Venting to BGF or family?

    The messenger is always going to be despised no matter who, or why. (Friends and family will support your venting, because you support theirs :0)) The messenger will be blamed for many problems, because those who go ahead into a relationship with a Bad Egg, often knew that Egg while still with Messenger.

    They think they are something special, and are still at the point of believing all of the same lies; you the Messenger fell for, when you Loved said Egg.

    In the case where children are in true danger, I think it doesn't matter how it reflects on the Messenger, the kids will thank you later. Same with crooks.

    Although, as you know many people will prefer to hide their head in Farmville and pretend all is well. Just saying...


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