Which is better - or worse - to fake liking someone, to be clear about it or to avoid the person?
There are various ways to deal with that which are more civilized, or humorous, or just plain mean. Is there a better way?
It depends on the person. If it is your boss at work, suck it up and fake like them. If it is someone who has hurt you just ignore them.
Its better to be clear about it. It saves a lot of time and energy on both sides. The other person might even be humble enough to appreciate your honesty.
Life is a Chess game and sometimes we have to get along to reach an end goal.
So in work and some other situations you need to ignore how you feel about the other players.
In your private life you can usually stay with those you genuinely like. Even then you might have to feign liking Aunt Matilda just to make the situation tolerable for all.
I will try to avoid someone I don't like if possible. If I do happen to run into someone I don't like I will still try to maintain a level of politeness, especially if in a social setting.
Just be honest with the person, it is better for everyone, including yourself
You can remain professional if it is in business by treating everyone equal and with respect—be polite to ones whom you really do not care to be associated with, never hurt anyone’s feelings--.
We meet and deal with people every day whom we placed into different social levels in our lives. I have a saying, I am sure you heard of it before---Pass and Repass---to me that means when you meet someone you do not really care for—be polite and move on—and when ever you see that person again—do the same as before. Faking is demeaning to you—and letting someone know you do not like them is also demeaning to you. But if someone is obnoxious, and just wants to start something—just say, “Please excuse me.”” And walk away. You are the master of your actions—and always be the lady you are, be true to your self.
Be clear about it. Honesty is always the best policy. The truth is a terrible and wonderful thing, and should be used with caution. But lies will only hurt more. Avoiding the person will too. I think honesty is the best policy. You'll have to end up telling them anyways. So don't get caught in a lie and be forced to tell the truth later. Just be honest from the start.
Truth for me is a priority in life. We must speak ourselves out but do it with respect and kindness unless forced otherwise.Giving fake hopes to someone pretending to be somone else but ouselves, ends up only fooling ourselves and nothing else.
I don't suffer fools gladly, but at the same time I'm working on charisma. HAHA! Everyone is shades of gray (grey?) and it depends on the circumstance. I don't like the lie, but sometimes it's in my best interest, or best not to offend someone unnecessarily. I take each situation as its own thing, and work from there.
Better - Be up front and clear about it before you explode and resort to saying and doing some truly terrible things!
O.k to be fake? No not really, but if you were in a situation where you were obliged to talk to someone even though you didn't like them, then short sweet civility is the way to go.
Worse- avoidance, absence will make the heart grow fonder or strike curiosity, best to say "You know what? I don't like you I'd rather not. If that offends them that is their problem.
To me its strange that some people differiate about the "likes" between professional and private life.
There are at least to levels which should be attended: the personality and the "intellectual factor". You can have a strictly professional/business relationship and it can last for years out of respect and mutual benefits. You don't have to get on a intimate level with a client, I even avoid it. This is called professionalism. Do your job as good as you can.
In my private environement I have also people I don't like so to say from a "personality check", but they might be intersting because we share interest and our relationship is based on this mutual interst.
Then there are friends, that's totally different. With them I like to share the mutual interest in the others person's life and well being.
In the end, its about which mutual interest you share. You don't have to be friends with everyone.
... and with people I don't share a mutual interst and which I can't stand, I don't share time, because my time is precious to me. And if asked, I tell it!
It depends on the person and why I dislike them. I'd never fake liking someone, that's just not right, I think being civil if I have to deal or speak with the person, but mostly I think I'd ignore them and not let them worry me. Life's too short after al.
Don't fake it. Never, ever fake it. Don't lie to them out of courtesy and don't lie to yourself out of sanity. Anything else is a downhill trip. Don't avoid them either. Honesty is the kindest thing that you can offer.
Be clear about it. You'll get an answer quickly, and either be happy, or get heartbroken quickly..
Why wait? the longer you hold it back, the more likely you are to never tell
Being clear about your personal feelings toward someone else is better. Once you show honesty, then you can be relieved, confident, and comfortable with that person.
The worst thing you can do is avoiding the person. No matter how much you try to stay away from him/her, you may end up seeing him/her at the store, school, or anywhere else. The world is actually smaller than it seems.
People always say that Germans are too straight forward, but I honestly miss that. When I came to this country I had to get used to people smiling at me and thinking 'What a b.....!' in reality. People were superficial and very self-centered.
How many times did people ask me how I was doing and kept walking; surprised when I answered them and asked in return.
I very much value honesty. One of my best bosses was one that couldn't stand me, but treated me with respect just the same!
If you don't like somebody, nobody forces you to hang out with them. If it is a coworker... I learned to ignore the one I had to deal with!
Just talk to them with respect. People should treat others as they would want to be treated themselves. There's nothing wrong with being nice to someone you dislike. Letting them know you dislike them wouldn't be good because you'd possibly hurt their feelings. Besides all a person does is let the other person know they dislike them and possibly hurt their feelings. Hurting their feelings isn't worth being blunt. If the person that one doesn't like is mean, then just avoid them. One could be productive and stand up for themself when the person they dislike is mean to them, but there's no point in letting the person know they're disliked. One could let them know they dislike their behavior of them being a bully.
Hmm this is a tough one. That depends on the position that you are in. Obviously if you don't like your boss you shouldn't make that known but if it is someone who is harassing you then make it clear that you don't like them. If you just find them annoying then I'd go with avoiding. Either way always respect people even if you don't like them. I would never recommend pretending to like someone if you don't.
I don't go out of my way to let someone know I don't like them, but it certainly becomes clear by my behavior that I don't. I don't involve myself in discussions with liars and people who have tried to undermine me, but maintain as much as I can manage, a cheerful and professional demeanor with them. I don't believe there are any inroads such as sharing a common experience or humor that can very often change the nature of a bad relationship because at the core, both people have not changed. If there is an apology or some kind of sign of repentance, then I am more than happy to forget bad behavior.
Faking it leads to more confusion and misery in the future because you're trading peace and happiness (in other words, good feelings) for a lie.
For me it depends on the closeness I feel towards the person. If it is someone from the past, that I haven't seen in a long time but knew there were issues, Maybe that was faking it, I thought of it, at the time, that I was starting fresh. It is the present now so I am going to be pleasant. Knowing that I probably won't bump into them in the next five years. There have been times when I have been clear, it didn't go over very well but at the time I thought I was being assertive. As far as avoiding I don't do that. I think trying to avoid people can be disruptive to someones life. I don't know if my way is a good way but I would rather be clear and pleasant.
I agree with phoenixarizona, with better to be up front, to fake isn't good at all when we tend to fake it only hurts us in the long run, that tends to cause one to not be real and untrustworthy to themselves and others, good question. lyns
I find lying difficult so I think my feelings towards people become obvious fairly quickly.In most scenario's this is not a problem,but in the work environment it makes for difficulties.
Tell them upfront if you do or dont like them. But if you dont want to hurt their feelings.Then dont say anything to them.
Sometimes your significant other, whether husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend likes someone you can't stand. In those situations, you have to learn to tolerate them just to keep the peace. Some can act like sluts, know-it-alls or just plain obnoxious. But because of a close relationship with someone who likes these a-holes, it is best to be polite and sigh with relief when they leave. You can complain to your significant other, but most of the time, they won't budge. You can get mad and tell them off (I've done that) but then you have to deal with your spouse being angry, too. It's a no win situation.
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