How to mend a broken heart?

1. 50

   Heartbroken09posted 15 years ago

   I am just experiencing heartbreak this weekend, when I found out after two years of marriage, the last month or two has been an emotional affair at mininum. I am heartbroken, lonely, unsure where to turn. I live in a city where i have no friends or family, we moved here due to his job. I used to be a social person, but have found myself more reclusive lately. He says he wants to work through it, not sure if I can trust again. But I am completly devasted. I have not eaten or slept for three days now. And honestly have no idea what to do with myself. I have been with him for 10 years and planned to spend the rest of my life with him, and have children with him..On top of this, I am in school trying to finish up, and have been having some health problems recently.
   
   I just need help, advice and friendship.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Justine76posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      maybe see a doctor who can help with the health issues and reccomend a good counselour? I haev heard it is possabel to "make it work" but that is a highly individual decision, one you cant make right off. Sleep and eating is very important to maintianing mental health.

      replyreport
   2. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. We're here for you my dear. i had experienced the same thing - and slowly, i am recovering from my heartbreak. Just be positive and believe in HIM who created all of us.
      
      And do not forget to smile, every day.

      replyreport
2. 61

   lenyvenusposted 15 years ago

   Love yourself again. It is the only way to find yourself again because it means giving importance to yourself. Don't stock or reserve your future with someone your in doubt or unsure. Start moving on now that you realized if he is still worth your trust. Don't add another emotional investment which you are unsure of the  return on investment.

   replyreport
3. 61

   sweetjulieposted 15 years ago

   give it time, it will heal

   replyreport
   1. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, time will heal the wounds of a broken heart. But don't just sit in a corner - explore the world - so heart can be healed.

      replyreport
4. 52

   aliasgharposted 15 years ago

   heart  is  to break  so  you cant  do any thing  but  i  would suggest look  for new one

   replyreport
5. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

   move on and keep moving..............

   replyreport
   1. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      YES! Exactly!

      replyreport
6. 60

   Grace Stephanieposted 15 years ago

   A broken heart? Well, the truth is, no matter how hard you try it won't heal in a day. What you need to do is EVERYTHING EVERYONE is saying. I mean I got my heart broken maybe six months ago, and it is still hard going to certain places. Trust me it's much easier than before and it gets easier everyday, then harder then easier....It's a vicious circle. Well then one day...Poof it's gone. Night time is hardest when all you really wanna do is say goodnight and give them a kiss, or talk to them for hours till you fall asleep...Just stay strong. In the end it will get better and someone else will waltz into your life. And that person will make you happy as a clam:)

   replyreport
   1. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the reply Grace Stephanie
      
      And a happy heart for you my fellow hubber.

      replyreport
7. 60

   mcacreateposted 15 years ago

   Friends. That's what I found out. In my case, it was a member of the opposite sex. A girl that I met in college. I was in a relationship for three months. During that time, I had someone to do thngs with. we went to concerts, movies, we met at a club every friday because we liked the band there. After she broke up with me, not only did I have the pain of losing a relationship, I didn't do anything. When In met her, I had someone that care about me again. Not only that but  before her, I also met someone at a bar who I went to school with whom was also going through the same thing. She was with a friend and we both went to a few concerts. So other than time, just see if you can find someone to sort of take the place of that person. By the way, I have someone in my life now, but that doesn't mean I forgot about her. My mate understands we are just friends. You don't want to use someone until your heart is all better.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for sharing mcacreate
      
      Happiness be with you.

      replyreport
8. 60

   lovelife999posted 15 years ago

   remember her/him bad things and console yourself that there must be better made for you.

   replyreport
   1. 60

      aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the reply lovelife999.

      replyreport
9. 60

   aefranciscoposted 15 years ago

   To all of you fellow hubbers,
   
   thanks so much for the reply. i just want to say - now am free and happy.

   replyreport
10. 57

    inspireyourspiritposted 15 years ago

    Keeping busy and drowning out your mind space.  I use my ipod to keep that voice in my head quiet...the worst thing you can do is rehash the situation and wonder what they are doing.  So filling up your days with your own interests helps heal as time passes.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hi - thanks for the reply and for the tips

       replyreport
    2. 87

       donotfearposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I also would have to agree with this. Of course, no amount of noise is going to drown out that dull ache, but surroundig yourself with friends, color, and activity can certainly help. You are going to miss the person. That's inevitable. Missing somebody is normal. Acknowledge it, but continue to tell that inner voice, "Yes, but now it's time to move on". You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there, right?  I have one more suggestion....if it lingers, why not try group therapy? It's very beneficial and allows you to share with others and listen in return. It may be possible for you to help somebody else who may be experiencing the same thing. I love a good group session...very freeing knowing you aren't alone. Good luck...you are very pretty and talented. Don't give up.

       replyreport
11. 82

    habeeposted 15 years ago

    Find a good cardiologist??

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I just hope I wont fall in love with the cardiologist

       replyreport
12. 0

    Hikikomoriposted 15 years ago

    That's a title of one of my favorite Al Green songs.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

       replyreport
13. 53

    washer26posted 15 years ago

    The very best way to mend a broken heart is when you start paying special attention to self. When you pay attention to yourself, you take better care of yourself and your emotions. You have to ask yourself what is making me feel this way and why do I feel this way? Then you have to use your strength and flex those hidden muscles to pull yourself out of the rut of bad emotions you are feeling. The more you practice controlling your emotions the better off you'll be cuz thats all it takes is practice. Stop having a pity party  because that'll make you miserable and delay the process of healing for your heart. Besides you'll soak up so much energy pittying yourself before you know it a year or two has gone by and you're still in the same state of mind you were in. Life will not end and if you do that you'll open up space and opportunity for someone else to fill the position of loving you.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       The greatest love of all - learning to love one's self.
       
       Thanks for the advice . . .
       
       

       replyreport
       1. 50

          minhoriposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Giải pháp website để kinh doanh tốt hơn
          Website doanh nghiệp thông thường là 1 website có số lượng lớn thông tin được chứa trong cơ sở dữ liệu. Khi sở hữu website động các doanh nghiệp, công ty có khả năng quản trị thay đổi thông tin, nội dung website như ý muốn.
          Bạn chưa biết nên bắt đầu từ đâu để có thể xây dựng một website? Bạn có thể tham khảo quy trình thiết kế website của chúng tôi để có được hình dung về toàn bộ các bước trong quy trình thiết kế và xây dựng một website
          Không ai có thể phủ nhận một sự thật rằng Internet với các trang web thương mại điện tử là cách thức kinh doanh vô cùng hiệu quả khi nó đem lại cho khách hàng cơ hội đặt hàng nhiều loại sản phẩm/dịch vụ khác nhau. Rất nhiều công ty nhỏ đã thu lợi lớn từ các website của mình — một công cụ tiếp thị hữu hiệu cho sản phẩm/dịch vụ của họ. Tuy nhiên không phải mọi công ty đều có thể thành công với việc chào mời mọi người đặt hàng sản phẩm của họ trực tiếp qua Internet. Nếu bạn đang nghĩ đến những chiến lược kinh doanh trực tuyến, hoặc việc thu hút khách hàng qua mạng, thì dưới đây là một vài yếu tố mà bạn cần quan tâm và nắm vững
          Liên hệ: http://www.ori.vn
          Các website ORI đã triển khai về các lĩnh vực Du lịch, Bán hàng, Doanh nghiệp, Shop Online, Tin tức, Dịch vụ V/vv..
          Mekong tours san go  San go  Sapa tours  Hanoi tours  To chuc su kien  Tim viec  Thiet ke website  rao vat  Shop ban hang
          
          http://www.mekongcruisetrip.com   http://www.sangocongnghiep.us   http://www.noithatdaiviet.net   http://www.sapatours.net   http://www.hanoitours.biz   http://www.tochucsukienachau.com   http://www.nhatuyendung.com.vn

          replyreport
          1. 60

             aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Oppss ... kindly translate, i can not comprehend
             
             

             replyreport
14. 68

    goldenpathposted 15 years ago

    I suggest two things:
    1) Never look back, except to learn from and not dwell on.
    2) Ponder your future over a nice mug of hot cocoa.

    replyreport
15. 61

    thirdmilleniumposted 15 years ago

    Let us face it.
    
    There is no escaping from the fact that your heart lies in pieces. Whatever you try to put your mind into, your heart is not there! It is lying in pieces, remember?
    
    Time, as many hubbers have opined, is the only healer. And believe me, time can heal ANY wound.
    
    A boy of 19 lost his fiancee and his own family comprising of 5 people at one go in a road accident 5 years ago. He is a happy man now and no one grudges him that because everyone knows what hell he went through for some 2 or 3 years.
    
    Time, my dear, TIME

    replyreport
16. 0

    TheVerbalAxiomposted 15 years ago

    I have to tell the plain truth.
    
    Move on.
    
    Point, blank, period.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Once straight forward response . . .
       
       And indeed one plain truth about mending a broken heart ...

       replyreport
17. 61

    Jonathan Jancoposted 15 years ago

    Accept that you worthy of love . . . and then, try again.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yes! acceptance is one of the key

       replyreport
18. 54

    probafixposted 15 years ago

    time to move on
    
    you can`t stand still where you are and where you will be,
    
    you always move on.
    
    So keep moving with time,
    
    if you lose something you will get better thing next time.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       time ... the precious time ...

       replyreport
19. 62

    defenestratethisposted 15 years ago

    I say...get a PUPPY!! You'll be so busy taking care of him, and the puppy will be so busy loving you back, you wont have time to be sad!! Plus, you could take the puppy to dog parks, and meet other dog lovers...hopefully handsome and single ones (or pretty and single, whichever you prefer). When we humans are faced with the task of caring and nurturing another being smaller than ourselves..we often find a sense of usefulness and joy. Seriously. Take care...

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       surely it helps
       
       having a social life will surely give a broken heart chills to enjoy

       replyreport
20. 59

    sexeducationnowposted 15 years ago

    with love alone !

    replyreport
21. 0

    jkbensenposted 15 years ago

    How to mend a broken heart is what I have asked myself every time i end up broken hearted.. after being hospitalized for not believing I can live on.. with suicidal intentions.. i must say I have been there to the edge.. and theres not much you can do.. but pass time and if you end up clinically depressed stay on your meds... find some thing to do to pass time .. like lach hooking.. i did that alot.. go out side get some sun.. confide in someone.. but whatever you do dont hurt yourself.. your all you have .. be your own hero.

    replyreport
22. 60

    Renee Roseposted 15 years ago

    Hey!
    
    A good way to get your heart on the mend is to start by figuring out what needs your partner met for you - and then find other sources to meet those needs (positive sources!).
    
    This is all, of course, after you have allowed yourself to grieve first. It's important to grieve.
    
    And, by the way, by finding other sources to meet your needs, I don't mean having flings (if you don't truly want that), I mean doing things that allow you to grow and become stronger.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks renee rose for the reply -
       
       though now, am happy with my life (even without him), having a social life will surely help one's broken heart to heal
       
       

       replyreport
23. 60

    cottontailposted 15 years ago

    Honestly, the one thing that really helped me were self-help books. Friends and family lend their support, but somehow you still feel misunderstood and you need better guidance.
    
    I wrote about mending a broken heart in this hub which at the bottom has a list of the books that I read during my heartbreak.
    
    <link snipped, no self promotion>

    replyreport
24. 71

    waynetposted 15 years ago

    A bit of glue and some tacks, let it dry over night and then stick it back in your chest and then stick a couple of fingers in the electric mains to jumpstart your heart again...

    replyreport
    1. 78

       blondepoetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Haha Wayne you are one heck of a expert repair man.

       replyreport
       1. 71

          waynetposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Well when in the jungles of Vietnam you have to think of things fast....!

          replyreport
       2. 60

          aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          i guess this is what i should do...

          replyreport
    2. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       'This is the weirdest among all replies i got
       
       but then, it did made me laugh
       
       thanks for painting smiles

       replyreport
25. 78

    figmentposted 15 years ago

    1. friends 2. movies 3. alcohol/THC

    replyreport
26. 78

    blondepoetposted 15 years ago

    Time to let forgiveness free,
    To replenish us emotionally.
    For past the meadow,dark and grim,
    Is joy and hope and peace in Spring.
    
    

    replyreport
27. 61

    ___RaeRaeposted 15 years ago

    hay girl. take time for yourself and friends but always put yourself in a good enviroment dont sit in self pitty and wounder where you went wrong alot of things happen alot of people aint affrain of the dark but they are affraid of whats in it. if you seek futher into the dark the lighter it will get. put yourself out there and bring smiles to everyones face cause your worth it:) xx

    replyreport
28. 61

    saltposted 15 years ago

    A wonderful woman told me you dont get over it dear, you get on with it...
    
    After that, all that pressure to get over it was gone and I didnt feel so bad.
    
    I think liking yourself is important, for your heart cant ever really be broken and your spirit is strong.. sometimes what you think is a broken heart is you learning to love yourself....

    replyreport
    1. 71

       myownworldposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       yes, beautifully put..

       replyreport
    2. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       i thought i was over it. but is was wrong. i only hope for the best.

       replyreport
29. 77

    thisisoliposted 15 years ago

    After the first couple of break ups I had i realised that all experiences are good experiences, and every relationship is a learning curve. Might not help everyone btut it worked for me

    replyreport
30. 71

    myownworldposted 15 years ago

    And, avoid songs like these, except sometimes ALL you want to do is to listen to them....!
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PO6Rknx5 … re=related
    
    (sorry, but your thread just brought this to mind!)

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       so sad ... i must start listening to happy songs then

       replyreport
31. 72

    Aislaposted 15 years ago

    At times like this you are faced with choices, not one but many!
    Mixed up with this is a million emotions and feelings of hurt, anxiety, anger, sadness......you name it.
    In your head there are a thousand voices all speaking at one time, you feel numb but the voices are telling you things over and over, what are they really saying?
    Listen to them, these are your choices.
    The voices are your own thoughts, no one else can put them there. If you can't make any sense of them, write them down and read what you are telling yourself.
    Listen to yourself.
    When these are written down you can place the thoughts into different catagories. Fear, anger, sadness, strength, weakness.
    If you can pick out the thoughts which are thoughts of kindness towards yourself, the ones that make you feel good.
    If all of your thoughts are directed towards the partner that cheated on you or left you then realise that you are putting your own happiness into someone elses hands.
    by doing this you are opening yourself for more hurt and abuse.
    When thoughts belong to you you can change them, you can take back control.
    making life fun again can be difficult when you feel emotional pain but it is necessary for your own future and happiness.
    Take charge and learn how to please yourself.
    Only you know what makes you feel good and i would say that it is cheating yourself when you let someone else decide over what causes you pain and happiness.
    Life is short and it is for living.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       thanks for the reply aisla....
       
       this is a good advice. . .
       
       indeed life, is a matter of choice

       replyreport
32. 67

    alternate poetposted 15 years ago

    If you don't want to wait the time it takes for things to get back into perspective then speed it up by getting out and doing as many 'things' as you can. Actively looking for a replacement is good as a thing to do.  Anything really that takes mind time and makes the time go faster   good luck.

    replyreport
    1. 60

       lightning johnposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       No don't jump right back in with someone to quickly.
       You need to visualize yourself being somewhere else doing somthing that you have been afraid to do in the past, and then do that first. Build up more physical, and mental strength.
       Work on loving yourself first!

       replyreport
       1. 60

          aefranciscoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          yeah... its true - one can't love other being unless he/she loves him/herself

          replyreport
33. 60

    jamexicanposted 15 years ago

    u should look at my hub...relationships2..i think tats it..i hope it helps

    replyreport
34. 60

    aefranciscoposted 15 years ago

    Thanks for the advice hope these also helps those who been in my situation . , .

    replyreport
35. 68

    Flightkeeperposted 15 years ago

    Did anyone mention eating a pint of Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond? It works wonders for me. After I eat a pint, I realize what an idiot I was for being with a guy who would make me miserable enough to eat a pint of high calorie, high fat premium gourmet ice cream.

    replyreport