It seems to me that the only time a woman is happy is if she has something to complain about. If there is nothing to complain or argue about, the relationship is bad, what's up with that?
I find that attitude dismissive, misogynistic, and offensive.
There's also shopping.
I would say that your perception/perspective of women is skewed.
women aren't "happy" when they argue. they are biologically inclined to express themselves openly. it's a misconception to say that.
and just as there are women who are biologically inclined to express themselves openly, there are those who prefer to simply shut up. they will talk only after thinking things over. the problem with the latter is that men wouldn't have a single clue of what's on their mind.
Blanket- and Demeaning- Generalization About Women Alert!!!
Some women, yes. They need to control everything that's going on, maybe they feel worthless otherwise. Or maybe they're just control freaks.
I've met a lot of women like that but I sure don't understand their need to run every detail of someone else's life. Maybe it comes from having kids? Does she (the specific one/s you're talking about)? Because then a woman DOES have to control every little facet of someone's life for years and it can get carried over to adults.
Okay, no, a child doesn't need everything controlled but relative to adults, yes. A mother has to be constantly aware of everything and it can get to be a habit.
Then some women just like to be that way.
you are either the wrong man or havent met the right woman. are many ever happy or simply when they are holding the remote?
lol, I enjoy living in the positive aspects of life, there is no room for complaining it gets you no where.
People who complain are generally not happy and maybe trying to get rid of you by all the complaining.
As a rule happy well adjusted people don't complain...
They seem happy when they are filling their faces with some sort of food too.
While I don't think argueing is a way of being happy, I do find it a good way to vent my feelings. I like to playfully argue, because it's fun. If I actually argue...it is probably because I want my view known and understood by the other party. I hope that helps...
I know people like that and they aren't all women either. Some folks just like to argue. They live for the drama. Personally, I don't like to argue about anything. Nothing is that important to me anymore. That's not to say that I don't have a temper and if you poke just the right stick at me, I'll not only bite at it, I'll bite your hand off along with it. But I certainly won't waste my time and argue about with you, that's for sure.
No Sir, I am not happy arguing with anybody. Women are different just like men are.
If you are in a relationship and the woman keeps on complaining, sit down and talk to her. If she is like that ever since then it is time for you to evaluate whether she will change, whether you can put up with it or no.
Give her some TLC - tender loving care.
if you cannot argue, then don't. Everybody is arguing about everything, that's how we establish our beliefs and priorities. And they are different to different people.
No, but we will ALWAYS try to get in the last word- it's in our wiring!
You can't have make-up sex without arguing first !!!
..at the OP....What????...who've you been hangin' out with?
It seems to me that the only time a woman is happy is if she has something to complain about
Are you meaning all women or just your woman?
Because if its your women, I think you need to be asking her.
i don't think its that they have to argue to be happy, but we are happy to argue. its comforting to have someone who loves you there. even if you argue from time to time, we know we have someone who loves us back to argue with
Not married I am not sure about that kind of arguing. But, at work my best friend, she and I argue playfully all the time. It is a hidden, secret code too. We can communicate when others have their noses where they don't belong on any subject - personal stuff or work related or even discussing who is the better ball club the Padres or Dodgers , , ,
Sad that you only met such women...but I thought it take two to argue LOL
I think the greatest person alive put it into song:
Here's a thought, A woman's happiness is based on the man she is with.
And what about women who are single or gay? Do they just not have emotions?
Meridian I doubt that. I've seen single women and women with terrible men who say they're happy or simply appear to be and when I ask them, the answer has always been the same, "If I don't like it, I'll just change it." I actually adopted that years ago.
That is a shameful post!
It is also dead wrong!
Women are NEVER happy
So what? Generalizations CAN be made about people like:
Women are more emotional
Men are simple creatures
Women are nurturing
Men are more aggressive
Of course there are exceptions but some things are true IN GENERAL. Why has pretending to be figuratively blind been elevated to a high ethical and moral standard?
I disagree though that women are the arguers, I know too many men who argue even when you agree with them. Women as complainers, yes.
You said it right... "a woman" aka the woman you are/were with. You dont need me to tell you that there are many happy free spirited women out there who do communicate with maturity, love and respect.
This "theory" is just plain ridiculous. It's something men say to themselves to justify their bad behavior.
Ever been in the locker room of your local Country Club? Men do exactly the same thing - they just keep it quiet 'cause they're big, strong men. uh huh.
How come it is that a person gets things in their head to be a certain way, then when another gives their perspective or suggestion it is taken as if you are telling them what to do? Then an argument is formed? Why? I think it is because much of the time a person can have a predetermined idea in their head, and only want to hear things that support what is on the mind at the time. Accepting any other thought, not supporting their's will throws them off course! Not wanting to take the time to really think about what was purposed? Telling people, rather than truly asking an opinion or view can always start an argument. Anyway, I am one who does not like to argue! Can't stand it when I am pulled into an argument with my spouse, not the way I want to start my day. (why is it that arguments, seem to get started in the mornings?)
The reason why is because many many people do not want to be proved wrong, and do not want to have to apologize for the actions or reactions to something said. People these days compared to the 80' and 90's, where it was only the right thing to do is to apologize. One that can say they were wrong is very important.
Well observing how brutal women can be on the internet with relationships with men, I don't think they are happy, but they sure no how to tear a man apart, and than wonder why they are not loved. I've watched enough women cut throat people in general, and its a pretty ugly scene. I don't believe any of them are aware of it, they probably don't even think about it. Most of the time if a women is arguing she is either trying to express herself, frustrated, or playing the victim, but not realising she is doing so. She is not happy, or else she would not be arguing. It is basically finding her own self worth, learning to love herself, being independent, and not needy depending on other people to meet her emotional and spiritual needs. They can change if they choose too, if they don't that is their choice as well. Happiness only comes when you can be honest and truthful with yourself, facing the ugliness in yourself and shedding it from your life, and becoming the true beauty that you are.
I'm afraid this thread has left a sour taste in my mouth. Much of the comments are sexist and thoughtless. Many women are kind, tolerant, and peaceful people.
Well lorlie6 I would have believed that till I spent three years on Secondlife watching endless women being the way they are, not all women of course but the majority of them, I would say I've met about over 300-500 women a year on secondlife, interacting in relationships, and of course men on the other hand have their issues as well. I don't say that without experience of watching them interact and watching people argue and fight, bicker, and tear each other part the same way they do on hubpages, as well as any other social network site. I've witnessed enough times on different sites. So I don't say that out of my own opinion and beliefs, just watch it happening all the time.
I am looking for a woman that can put up a good argument. If a woman is arguing all the time must be she is living with an idiot.
Yeah I would agree with Bobbi on that one! Knolyourself, think that one through a little bit. Don't need to insult others for being in bad situations. Can you really say you are the perfect material in society that never insults anyone, or ever been in a bad relationship, perhaps if we called up an ex partner of yours what would they say. We've all been in bad and good relationships.
" Can you really say you are the perfect material in society that never insults anyone, or ever been in a bad relationship, perhaps if we called up an ex partner of yours what would they say. We've all been in bad and good relationships."
My you can make assumptions. Yes you could call up any of my past relationships. I have never had a bad one. And I am still on best of terms and we still love each other.
However people do sometimes need to go their separate ways for development sake.
Beautifully put, knolyourself! Many years ago I married and had a son; 2 years later we divorced. We had lots of growing up to do.
10 years-and lots of relationships-later, we re-married and are still together!
Yeah I can agree with that too, as I have done the same, but calling someone an idiot due to they may just be in a bad situation learning their lessons as we all do, is just not really the answer. We are all learning, and growing so Insulting another person without being in their situation or story is just not constructive.
"10 years-and lots of relationships-later, we re-married and are still together!"
That's the hard way. But now you know you got something great. Happy you.
"but calling someone an idiot"
It was a generalizations. It didn't have a name on it. I am an idiot and I am proud of it. Being perfect is so boring.
It seems to me that the only time a man is happy is if he's drunk and needs someone to beat the crap out of. If there is no reason to get drunk or abusive, the relationship is bad, what's up with that?
Something I've noticed is that on TV, men are always drinking. My son actually wrote to the station that shows MythBusters (Discover channel I think) to complain that the guys always talked about getting drunk, drinking, then every commercial was for some sort of beer or other alcohol. (Except for the one commercial thrown in every once in a while telling us we should be shocked that kids in middle and high school drink frequently - oh me, oh my, who'd have thought?)
Of course, people do drink, a lot apparently, but it seems it's pushed. I'm making a conspiracy theory that drinking is pushed so America will be a nation of brain-damaged, low-judgment individuals that will pay lots of money to maintain themselves in their addiction and then will pay lots of money in health care to keep them going long enough to make doctors rich before they finally die.
Then something I remember from long ago, when I was a kid. I found these romance novels that had been written in the 50s maybe. They were appalling! Not the fact that they were romance novels, I was a preteen and young teen; it was their depiction of men and especially of women! The men were always gruff, domineering, rough and abusive. The books would read, "...he growled," and "...he ground out harshly," or he was manhandling the woman in "...a punishing grip."
Then the women, OMG, they were always, without fail: stumbling, gasping, stammering, trembling, and "knowing better than to argue with him when he got that look in his eye." What did these pathetic reps of 'delightful femininity' do about these men when they were in their lives? Hit them over the head with a metal rod? Turn them in to police? No, they freaking MARRIED THEM because they were "real men"! I asked my mother if men really were taught to be like that when she was growing up but she didn't think so. But her family was kind of like that.
Why do people write these things? The books and scripts that present life at...I don't even know how to phrase it. If a whole generation of children was raised with books and shows that had everyone acting decently, what would it be like? I wonder how much it would shape them. Or were these things written because that's how people are and that's what writers knew (know) to write? They want to make sales of course.
I honestly don't think anyone likes arguing. However, I have been told by both women and men in the past (apparently people always assume that I need advice on relationships even though I NEVER ask them for any), that apparently arguing is allegedly good for the relationship. Why? Because according to their logic, it allows the two lovers to vent out their frustration rather than keeping it bottled up inside, so the relationship can continue to evolve.
However, I don't really buy into it, as one could say that just...I don't know...call me crazy here...that just merely...TALKING to your lover would probably accomplish the same thing. At least, logic would dictate that. Then again, I've never really been in a serious relationship in my entire life, and the two that were kind of serious weren't really much of a relationship to begin with. I would elaborate more, but I don't want to hijack the thread. Therefore, I'm probably not the best person to answer your query, as I could easily be wrong. Besides, the people that told me that arguing is good for a relationship have been successfully married for years.
Whereas me, most girls won't even give me the time or day in real life. Therefore, maybe I'm wrong. To be honest, I really don't care anymore. As a friend once told me, happiness comes from within anyway, and relationships with people are the icing on the cake so to speak to make life sweeter. Personally, I don't see why anyone would love arguing unless they're a lawyer or politician, where it's their job. Then again as Mighty Mom mentioned earlier, it does allow for make up sex to happen, so there's always that.
I don't buy it either Stevennix. I don't think arguments help a relationship evolve. I think just the opposite. People say things to each other that should never be said and that they can't ever take back. As for make-up sex, I think that's just a made-up story. I've heard of it, but it's completely not my experience and never has been. The last thing I feel like after an argument is having sex. I'm much too angry and I would probably rip the head off anybody who came near me.
Women don't like conflict anymore than men,but often are better able to deal with it.
Of course some people naturally are prone to overreact. Usually if its a female its called being 'overly emotional' for a male its called 'being a hothead'
I also thinks it much more how 'disagreements are perceived.
Do you see a disagreement as a challenge perhaps? if you do ,then you perceive your partenars disagreement as an argument.
Discussion v argument.
Disagreement v conflict
Its not usually a one-sided issue, if a woman is complaining or arguing their usually is a reason for it.
What is the man doing to cause this to happen? Because believe me she will not waste her time for nothing.
Interesting how in relationships men can always find reason for the argument as "her fault".
Forgetting about what actions or words he has said recently or in the past (sorry but it is true woman bring up past issues) that causes her to want to hash it out.
The guys obvious oblivion or lack of the need to talk that usually causes more irritation.
But as has been mentioned it depends on the woman because not all women will complain and not all women will argue and some are pretty happy with not causing any waves or unnecessary friction with their mate.
Then on the other hand their are some men who instigate and like to cause drama and stir the pot just to get a rise out of his girlfriend or wife.
I guess that is where the term "drama" comes from.
My personal take on this is that women are happy when they are in love, and they feel needed and contented. We all know both sides argue, male and female, so they sort of cancel out.
However I presume that people are aware that women "vent" . Or if not aware of this, ask a woman, and she will gladly explain it...
Happy thought, everyone.
I believe that women find fulfillment in tackling and solving problems, so when faced with an argument they will become happy only because the opportunity to fix something has come about.
I dunno I think it's because we really want to be more dominant and controlling, but you keep hearing all this stuff how guys need the chase and hunt, so we are like really hungry for something else that we think you would be so intimidated by.
Or we are really in the mood to get a good spanking.
Just a guess on my end, I mean if I had a guy to argue with, those would be the reasons.
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