Limericks - Limericks - Limericks

1. 80

   marcofratelliposted 15 years ago

   ownay ere'shay omethingsay ifferentday
   aay imericklay niay igpay-atinlay
   if you figure this out
   then give me a shout
   tiay siay otnay hattay ardhay eallyray!

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   1. 93

      Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I reckon it's all Double Dutch
      I'm sure that it doesn't mean much
      I've pummeled my brain
      to the threshold of pain -
      quite as bad as a boot in the crutch!

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      1. 80

         marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         LOL, the language here is Pig Latin
         It is spoken from Rome to Manhattan
         The first letter in a word
         Moves to the end, so I've heard
         Then add "ay" and you're done, that's the pattern

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         1. 93

            Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            It won't make a hit in Qatar
            It's certainly one step too far
            for only a dork
            uses words made of pork
            in an Islamic country. Har! Har!

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2. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   Words made of pork are ok
   if used a particular way
   but if used in Qatar
   in the back of a car
   it would chase all the locals away.

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3. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   Marco, I have not seen pig latin
   since a child, when we was often rattin
   on other poor kids
   who would not swear for quids
   and did not know what we was prattin.

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   1. 80

      marcofratelliposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Well I might not have got it exact
      But I'm close, so don't overreact
      It's a little bit silly
      When you think of it, really
      I'll stick to English before I get sacked
      
      http://www.wikihow.com/Speak-Pig-Latin

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4. 55

   Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

   Lul-i-mum-e-rur-i-cus-kuk
   Time was when I happily clucked
   In Double Dutch tongue
   But then I was young
   Now it comes out just sounding like muck!

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5. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   Shalini it's ok to try
   double dutch is hard on the eye
   I'd give it a go
   if I got to know
   how it works, so my brain doesn't fry

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6. 55

   Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

   It might look a bit hard on the eye
   Like a spelling session gone awry
   But the vowels just stay
   While the consonants they
   Just double – it’s easy, so try!

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7. 70

   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   Shalini your brain is too big.
   It's the size of an oversized rig
   I can't follow that
   my mind is to flat
   Is a consonant part of the gig?

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8. 75

   HubChiefposted 15 years ago

   the days are getting in hat
   stock market is these days flat
   all portfolios are down
   I am lookng like a clown
   no idea I have, when my port gets fat

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9. 93

   Paragliderposted 15 years ago

   So Ramadan's starting today
   with six daily prayers, they say,
   enhanced with a fast
   from pre-dawn till the last
   ray of sunset has faded away.
   
   I do it in modified style
   I cook a good breakfast, then I'll
   eat nothing all day,
   but stop water? No way!
   Let the locals go that extra mile!

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10. 55

    Shalini Kagalposted 15 years ago

    Oh Ernest I didn’t explain it
    It sounded confusing now dinnit?
    To save you the trouble
    The consonants go double
    And ‘l’ becomes ‘lul’ – you got it?
    
    The vowels they stay as they are
    With ‘y’ joining the vowel car
    And ‘h’ becomes ‘aitch’
    Kinda like a backstretch
    My brain’s numb – so I’ll leave it right thar!

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11. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    igpay atinlay, no way!
    speak that most every day.
    'Specially itshay,
    when on the highway,
    or having a rappycay day!

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12. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Yuse doity guys left me fer dead!
    Yerv ben playin aroun wif me head
    Thats all too liguistical
    mega spiflifical
    I'm goin orf t me bed!!!!

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13. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Nay darn it I'm going to stay
    an screw with the limericks all day
    till me toenails turn red
    an the mouth in me head
    hangs open with nothing to say

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14. 73

    frogdroppingposted 15 years ago

    I'm really starting to feel
    The green beginning to peel
    I'm here and I'm there
    I'm always nowhere -
    I really feel surreal
    
           

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15. 0

    wordscribe41posted 15 years ago

    I'm rusty with this rhyming gig,
    not grooving to the limerick jig.
    Feeling embarrassed
    like a thread terrorist...
    but it's still something I dig.

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Rusty? Wordscribe? Never!
       It's just your exceedingly clever!
       and great that your here
       I'm shoutin the beer
       we'll limerick on forever!

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16. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Frogs are great hoppers, thats true
    but especially green ones like you
    just go with the flow
    Can you do SEO?
    if you can I will glorify you!

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17. 73

    frogdroppingposted 15 years ago

    Earnest there's things I can do
    That make me almost like you
    I can grow facial hair
    Use SEO with flare
    Otherwise - I'm all askew

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Frogdroppings! (I do love that name)
       I am glad that some things are the same
       with me and you
       it helps me too
       when I know you're askew, that's your fame!

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18. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    Is religion a curse or a bliss ?
    everybody is ranting bout this.
    Quoting psalms, talking rude,
    Being crazed or just prude.
    Can't you stop being stupid ?! oh, please !!

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I think that religions a curse
       I can't think of anything worse
       all the killin an cussin
       fightin and fussin
       enough to make me call "Nurse!!!"

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19. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

        Witty !!!
    
    
    

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Glad ya liked it!

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    2. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       So is that!

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20. 92

    Bibowenposted 15 years ago

    The lim'ricks still exists
    You know I can't resist
    to sit and rhyme
    away my time
    when work and duties persist

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Bibowen! It's so nice to see!
       I needed some good company
       These guys are so funny
       cant buy that with money!
       I keep fallin outta me tree!

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       1. 92

          Bibowenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Tree? An oak, elm or birch?
          The one planted outside my church?
          The hazards you face
          In this church yard disgrace
          While fallin from a higher perch

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          1. 93

             Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Our luck can be pushed just so far.
             A friend of mine, driving his car,
             was hit by a tree
             that collapsed suddenly
             yet this is the desert, Qatar!

             replyreport
21. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    to earnest
    
    The limerik I couldn't find.
    Maybe I'm stupid and blind.
    Can you write it again.
    And please write down my name?
    So I know it's for me. ( I'm so dumb ! )

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22. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    to tantrum. maybe you were expecting another as our threads got crossed.
    
    I think that religions a curse
    I can't think of anything worse
    all the killin an cussin
    fightin and fussin
    enough to make me call "Nurse!!!"

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23. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    You are smart dear tantrum, and neat
    I find you to be very sweet.
    the religious hubs rock
    when you yell "It's a crock"
    and a botherer falls in defeat!

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    1. 61

       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you !!!

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24. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Tantrum
    
    I'll do one more for you just in case
    you can't find them all on this place
    when wordscibe is here
    and Marco I fear
    this place is a bloody disgrace!

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25. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    was expecting one for myself
    as I'm a proud and selfish old elf.
    Eventhough I'm all day
    Doing nothing. But, Hey!
    Sitting upright in granny's old shelf

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Tantrum, there's two up above
       created with time and much love
       I did them for you
       the heart that is true
       and because I have heaven above!

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26. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    Yes I know and your name says it all
    You will never lay back, err or fall,
    You're so smart, and that's true
    I'm so pleased to meet you!
    That I'm dancing in one leg and all !

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27. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I think that it may be the rhyme
    it produces itself all the time
    sometimes I cant stop
    my fingers go pop
    it appears on the scene of the crime!

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28. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    Tantrum, your fast like the others
    each of us are just like brothers
    we love the rhythm
    that's hidden within um
    like snuggling under the covers!

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29. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 15 years ago

    I'm trying to write a good verse
    But they all seem to come out perverse
    I have one at hand
    But I'd surely be banned
    If I posted it here. What a curse!

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Geeze I doubt it BT cause you see
       wordscibe even went for a pee!
       and wet her pants
       In a Marco caused trance
       and woulda got banned but for me!

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30. 61

    love my yorkiesposted 15 years ago

    OH, once while shucking some corn
    Was startled by the blaring car horn
    The corn in my hand went flying
    The noise from the car horn was dying
    And I was left feeling so forlorne

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31. 93

    Paragliderposted 15 years ago

    It's never nice getting a fright
    by fiends that shriek out in the night.
    You feel such a twit
    when you find out that it
    was two feral cats having a fight!

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32. 72

    maven101posted 15 years ago

    I've been invited to a Limerick party,
    To say a few words both clever and arty,
    Who is this most rare inviter.?
    None other than the Paraglider,
    Who does not suffer tartuffery..

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33. 93

    Paragliderposted 15 years ago

    We'll argue like cats in the forum
    or write endless hubs just to bore 'em
    but here it's just dancing
    and singing and prancing
    in limerick high cockalorum!
    
    Welcome Maven

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34. 61

    love my yorkiesposted 15 years ago

    There was a young girl from Nantucket
    was she bad with her mop and her bucket
    but try as I might
    to shed a little light
    all I can find is the first line of this junket

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35. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    i wrote a hub for kids
    telling story without lids
    lion was there
    in jungle of fear
    hope you would read without bids

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36. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I'l go read your hubs made for kids
    I wouldn't miss it for quids!
    if it's got rhymin
    with talented timin
    it should entertain those small squids!

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37. 64

    Drew Breezzyposted 15 years ago

    i flew to the moon on the wings of a dragon
    I knew that the ride was wilder than a coaster wagon
    I held on tight
    With all my might
    while the trip home seemed to drag on

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I can see that on the way back
       some enthusiasm could be alack
       after such a hard ride
       your poor ole backside
       would have had to take up all the slack!

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38. 75

    HubChiefposted 15 years ago

    also give some feedback
    so i improve without any crack
    eventually want to write a book
    putting a knowledgable hook
    guiding our kids on best track

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39. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    A kids book? A lovely idea!
    I give it a vote with a cheer!
    it gives love to the toddlers
    adored by we coddlers
    and helps little ones cope with their fears!

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40. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    The limerick mob's all like sheep
    it's late in the north, they're asleep
    while myself downunder
    can but only wonder
    what dreams they have, wish I could peep!

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    1. 93

       Paragliderposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       A dream is a private affair
       Outsiders can wonder or stare
       but only at skin
       for what's happening within
       is a gift for the dreamer to share.
       
       It's easy, but having said that
       I used to like watching my cat
       in dreams, he'd a habit
       of chasing a rabbit
       and killing it there on the mat!

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41. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    We had an old lab that had dreams
    I knew by the kids and their screams
    of joy and delight
    as he ran through the night
    on the couch, on his side, so it seems.

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42. 72

    maven101posted 15 years ago

    I once saw a man just pissin'
    Into a tub he kept missin'
    the aim was right, but the flow was slow,
    so his boots were a'glistenin'....

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43. 61

    nicompposted 15 years ago

    I'm writing my hubs by the word.
    The ones that pay well? They're absurd.
    I research my subjects,
    and get Google rejects.
    A high CPS is preferred.

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44. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    Nightmares I like when I'm sleeping
    The monsters that chase me, the fleeing
    I run down the stairs
    with anguish, despair
    To find the door close. ..Oh the creeping!
    
    And then when I think that I'm caught
    The monsters turn out to be naught
    And I'm surrounded by hubbers
    With whips, guns and daggers
    Who want to behead me on the spot.

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Tantrum, it's all in the blood
       with Irish inside is a flood
       of fearing small people
       who live in the steeple
       and monsters that live in the mud!

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45. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    Well, I love to be scared in the night
    With nightmares, and ghosts and the like
    In real live I'm so brave
    Not scared of death or the grave
    That I have to experience some fright.

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    1. 70

       earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I go all scared and act strange
       when my nightmares get out of the range
       of my boogy man capacity
       lacks your elasticity
       so I often wake up with the mange

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46. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    What do mange has to do with your sleep?
    Are there bugs in your bed ? That's not neat !
    I change sheets every day
    Wash my shorts, go to play
    Take fresh air in the park chasing chicks

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47. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I never change bed or a sheet
    their mangy and smell like old meat
    when they get real stiff
    you should have a wiff
    It fixes my sinus a treat!

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    1. 61

       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I wouldn't go to visit for sure
       I will feel threatened, dirty, insecure
       With the bugs and the smell
       and the s..t, bloody hell!
       I will take you to E.R. for a cure

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       1. 70

          earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          
          Nah! I;m only pullin yer chain
          I do clean it now and again
          why only last spring
          I did the right thing
          and let it all soak in the rain!

          replyreport
48. 61

    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    Well I'm pulling your leg and the chain
    I don't think I will do it again
    For I'm tired and drunk
    And I'm short  of great pranks
    And your bugs are nipping at my brain

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49. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I'm of to my twins birthday bash
    they turn four today, with panache
    they will pull off my glasses
    my beard and mustaches
    then frisk all my pockets for cash!

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    1. 61

       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Happy birthday for the twins !!
       Better if they are angels with wings
       take care of your cash
       and your glasses get crashed
       And prepare yourself for a spin

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50. 70

    earnestshubposted 15 years ago

    I just adore my grand kids
    I wouldn't sell em for quids!
    except Lauren the slasher
    oh and Asha the basher
    and Angus the king of the squids!
    
    I forgot to ad Lola and Ruth,
    of Nicholas I need no proof
    they're all really rotten
    I haven't forgotten
    the time they left me on the roof!
    
    Oh dear, that is them all!
    I thought I had one I could call
    good, but they're naughty
    plus nerdy and haughty
    the smallest are hardest to stall!

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