They Put Me Off Writing

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   jimmythejockposted 13 years ago

   My work "mates" found out a while back that I write Hubs and now every time I write a new Hub, I have to look forward to going into work Knowing that I will get teased about my latest work, it is very off putting and makes me want to stop writing altogether.
   I wonder if anyone could offer some adviceon how to deal with these morons.....jimmy

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Print off all the lingerie hubs ,my god they are everywhere now,
      
      I personally think they make the site look a bit sleezy ,but hey might work for "the boys" 
      
      
      hey , no , write a hub about it( no names) ,then show them ( they will feel special n famous

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      tantrumposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      If they are making fun of you it's because they would like to be you, and they can't. 

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      Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Best ignored, and spend the money you make on something that will piss them off.
      
      Sorry you have to put up with that crap. Please do not stop. A lot of people (including me) enjoy reading what you write.

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      CabinGirlposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Be the man you are, as you say they are morons, you are a writer. A writer doesn't just stop writing, stand proud !

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      darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This isn't going to answer your question, but who knows, you may find some enlightenment contained within...
      
      Back in the 90s I'd submit a lot of stuff to magazines. Short stories, jokes, letters to the editor, competitions... I worked with tradesmen (fitters, machinists), and it was were I used to find the magazines that inspired me to write in the first place. Most of the reader submissions were garbage, and the $$$ were significant. So I started to send in stuff regularly. My work mates all knew, and they in fact loved it. Occasionally I'd send stuff under their names, and they'd get a free yearly subscription, or a bottle of whiskey! I didn't drink so it didn't matter to me.
      
      One monthly magazine had just launched and obviously lacked letters to the editor in the first issue, but when the second came out there was four letters in there from me. Under my name, a pseudonym, a cousins name (who was holidaying in Australia for half a year) and a work mates name. So I got two bottles of... I can't even remember what it was, it was 10 years ago now. And my cousin got a bottle. And the work mate. I was thrilled to see four letters in there by me. In fact one was just a sentence long. It was beautifully constructed. It took me the longest to write out of all of them.
      
      No one expected me to write and win them stuff. They were all fascinated at how easy it appeared. Though none of them tried it themselves. It was around then that I actually won a fridge.
      
      I didn't boast about my success. And I wasn't embarrassed about it either. I can't recall the exact moment they found out, but I didn't try hiding it. I just happened to work with a bunch of guys that who may have been inclined to tease (tradesmen are renowned for it), but for some reason they didn't.
      
      Nowadays I don't have work colleagues. But I don't share my online published articles with friends or family. It creates too many hassles if anyone felt they'd be doing me a favour by clicking on ads. I'm not saying anyone would, but I just don't need to worry about that because they simply don't know. I also don't link to my hubs from my personal Facebook account.
      
      So I don't know what you can do or should do. I do think you're in a bit of a predicament though.
      
      I'm not sure what you do as a job but if one of your co-workers do something different than you, you could perhaps write an article about them 'a day in the life of...' and interview them (with their permission of course). And then there'll be two of you in the workplace that can be teased.
      
      Maybe that's the solution you're looking for: Involvement.

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         Fiction Tellerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         And I second Darkside's solution.  Involve the guys in a way you can afford.  The idea, either way, is to change the rules of the "game" they're playing--to make them follow your game instead of you following theirs.

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      AsherKadeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      one of the MANY reasons why I go icognito!

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      Bredaviesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You should think of it this way. THEY R JEALOUS! People will always try to put you down for doing things your good at. So instead of giving up on something you like doing when they say something just..laugh with them! That will really confuse them

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      Julie-Ann Amosposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Write a hub about second incomes online and how much money a good account can make on HubPages and the various ways.
      
      I know it's been done before but do another one and make sure you publish it on a Sunday so it hits them Monday morning... the Monday BEFORE payday so they're all tight for cash...

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         lrohnerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         What a great idea! That'll sure get'em where it hurts. Gosh, I sure wish you were around while I was going through my divorce!

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            Julie-Ann Amosposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Mmmmmm Divorce.  Oh what memories....  I did my own divorce, so  got a real kick out of that one...

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      stoneangel444posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Some years ago, I wrote an article which appeared in the local paper. the response for the most part by my coworkers was positive. However, to my initial shock,a couple of the people, looked at the article as flowery and completely missed the point. I began to realize they were not the people I had looked up to for many years. It stuck me that they walk trough life with blinders in place and a closed mind. If they are teasing you, perhaps they simply do not have what it takes to walk out on that limb and attempt what you are doing. Some of the greatest writers of our times have had horrible reviews (initially)over some of their greatest works. It's a good thing we remember the author, not the critic.Take their comments with a very large grain of salt and consider the source. Don't let their lack of talent interfere with your attempt to develope your own open mind.

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         tksenseiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         They had blinders on and a closed mind because they didn't appreciate one article you wrote?

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            darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Sometimes it takes just one test to prove that a person is retarded.

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               tksenseiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I don't think it's very funny to use that term as a joke.

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                  darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  Well it's a good thing that I wasn't joking and I was being serious.

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                     tksenseiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     You should be ashamed of yourself.

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                        darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        I'm not. So you'll just have to get over yourself.

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       tksenseiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Just suck it up already

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       packerpackposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I hope you will not be teased for starting this thread too...

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       Auntie Mposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       First of all Jim I believe you answered your own inquirey. These morons, as you so aptly labled them, are not worth you getting stressed out over. Laught with them. Tell them you know it is kinda weird but you are really having fun with it. And since the seem to be following your work they should give it a try.
       Heck Jim, play their game and just SMILE.

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   Silver Roseposted 13 years ago

   Hubpages let you set up multiple accounts (with a different username). So set up a new account and publish your new work there, and no-one at your workplace will be any the wiser.

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      jimmythejockposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Silver Rose, I have built up such a good reputation with this name that using a different one would be like starting over, it has taken me over 3 years to get this far.....jimmy
      thanks again

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      Sidney Rayneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sounds like good advice....though I don't think it is necessary that you should have to hide under any sort of facade. While posting under a different name will award you a sense of privacy from your friends...it is also essentially saying that you are ashamed of your work in some way.
      
      Criticism comes naturally to people...if you are ever to become a published writer (not sure if that is an ambition) think of the shrapnel you will receive.
      
      I say take a look at your friends and what their hobbies are...perhaps you can find comfort in knowing that you'll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

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      Jeryposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      ditto, also Jimmy you have over 700 hubs (wow) and many look to have been written to earn you money (and I bet you're making some)so just agree with them that yes it's a little weird but it pays the bills so I can afford my vacation this year to (some wonderful place your going.)

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   pgrundyposted 13 years ago

   That's really awful. I kind of went through a similar thing with my original family. It's like they have to drag everyone down to the same level or something. I don't know what kind of job you have, but if it was me I'd try laugh it off. You know, you could poke fun back at them, like, "Is someone talking?? Or is that another dog fart??" Something that makes light of it. If they know they are getting to you they'll just do it more, but if they see you don't care what they think and are willing to give it back to them, they're more likely to give it up because it will quit being fun.

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   Uninvited Writerposted 13 years ago

   Do they know how much money you make from your hubs? That might shut them up

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      livewithrichardposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!  You have 722 hubs, an amazing number, do you think they have any idea what it takes to produce something like that?  I doubt it.  Besides, you have 1285 fans that think you're doing a great job.

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   2patriciasposted 13 years ago

   It doesn't sound like they are very good 'mates'
   If anything, it sounds as if they are jealous.  They must be keeping an eye on Hubpages to know when you have published something new.
   You could just smile and ignore them.
   You could print out questionnaires and ask for their feed back.
   Whatever you do, don't look annoyed!
   We hope this passes over - as we would miss your Hubs.

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6. 86

   jimmythejockposted 13 years ago

   thanks guys, looks like i need to grow a thicker skin lol, Uninvited Writer I could try that lol.....jimmy

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   bgamallposted 13 years ago

   I think you should get new mates. I wouldn't let anyone get in your way. Over 700 hubs is amazing. I wish I had the energy.

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   TheMoneyGuyposted 13 years ago

   Jimmy,
   
   Punch them in the junk that works for me, whenever someone gets to annoying.
   
   If that doesn't work I used to use the discipline phone, that is what my sailors used to call it.  I would just beat them into submission with the handset.
   
   If that doesn't work they can always disappear over the side.
   
   Not sure if any of this will help or not, but I find most people stop after one or two junk punchings.
   
   TMG

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      Eaglekiwiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Dont worry about them, you know they are jealous coz all the g/f's and wives would love your writing.
      aww poor babies feel their masculinity is being threatened

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      darksideposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I love this idea!

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         badcompany99posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Hmmmm the DarkSide

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         TheMoneyGuyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Working in shipyards is where I developed this method.  There is a certain class that teases and pushes and they only respond to and respect power. 
         
         Sometimes you just have to express that power be it physically or mentally. 
         
         Both work, I am just more comfortable with the physical expression.
         
         TMG

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   wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

   Hey jimmy, I know it must be hard, try not to listen. You have tons of fans and a great set of hubs their just jelous! I am not sure what to suggest as I am a relative newbie, but I do agree with everyone elses comments an keep up the good work.

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    Anti-Valentineposted 13 years ago

    I wish my brother hadn't become a fan of mine, because now I also dread the things he'll read in my hubs.
    
    Weird that I'm more comfortable with strangers reading them, because at least I'm anonymous to them.

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       pgrundyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's weird--I honestly don't care who reads my hubs. I never write anything I wouldn't say in front of anyone anywhere.
       
       My family doesn't care what I do. If I had 50 bestsellers out they wouldn't check even one out of the public library.

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          caravalhophotoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Are we related? My family wouldn't check out my books either...LOL

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       Drew Breezzyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I feel the same way

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    wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

    Eaglekiwi you are so right, the other guys wish they ha hot hub ladies as their fans. I find it so sad that some people can't just be pleased for other people?

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    B.T. Evilpantsposted 13 years ago

    Don't you dare stop! I couldn't bear to lose one of my all time favorite hubbers!
    
    I've actually experienced the same thing from a few people. I was quick to point out that maybe what bothered them was that they were threatened by someone who was capable of stringing together a few coherent sentences. They didn't care for that, but they also couldn't deny it lol. Oh yea, that junk punching thing that TMG mentioned works too.

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    bgpappaposted 13 years ago

    I agree Jimmy, your name is your power at this point, hard to turn away.
    
    I like the idea of writing about it.  Be nice, or go to town, depending on the situation.
    
    I have to say I feel for ya.  I am in the same boat, only nobody knowns but my wife who is encouraging and offers idea.

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    KCC Big Countryposted 13 years ago

    I think that's just a part of learning process as a writer.  You have to be willing to be criticized.  All public figures are at one time or another. If you ever publish a book you'll be faced with a ton of it.  This is just a time for you to start growing that first layer of thicker skin.
    
    It's something I've considered along the way. It's one of the reasons I'm not ready to publish my book.  I'm not yet ready/mature enough to handle criticism or questioning my beliefs. 
    
    700+ hubs....OMG.....that's just hard to imagine even!  lol

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    Jane@CMposted 13 years ago

    Keep writing!  Don't sweat the small stuff

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    Fiction Tellerposted 13 years ago

    I have an answer, but I don't know if you'll like it.  Ignoring is rarely possible at work.  I'm a big one for facing problems.  Confrontation wouldn't solve anything here.  So I'd go for taking a psychological approach.
    
    First, I agree with 2patricias, who said that they're probably jealous.  A lot of people would like to be earning money this way and feel helpless in the current economy.
    
    What I would do isn't ignore them, or do anything hostile.  They're already insecure enough--you don't want to exacerbate the situation.  Instead, I'd use the technique of refocusing the attention to the problem underneath, addressing the issue of what's really bugging them.  A similar technique works wonders on mothers who nag.
    
    What's the technique?  For nagging mothers, you smile and you say, "You think I should get a haircut?  Hey, is there something worrying you?...Oh, really?  You're not feeling good?  Any way I can help?"  Refocusing the conversation on the psychological underlying source of their behaviour stops them short every time.
    
    For coworkers who harassed me about my personal life, I'd laugh and say, not at all in a hostile way, "Hey, it's fun.  You should try it.  No, really.  You should.  I think you'd have lots of fun doing it."
    
    Every time they teased me, I'd focus the conversation on them...not in a challenging way or with any bite.  Just, "Hey, man, I like it.  I think you would, too.  No?  You really don't want to do it?  Why not?"  I guarantee you, if you can do this right, the conversation will shift away from the teasing of you.
    
    Whatever you do to handle it...good luck.  It's a really hard situation.

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    Nobody thinks it's strange or funny if someone builds ships in bottles, knits, or does crossword puzzles for a hobby.  Nobody thinks it's strange or funny if someone does something like stuff envelopes for extra money.  For some reason, when it comes to writing people who don't write just don't "get it".
    
    I was writing for a few newspapers (news, features) and also doing a little public relations writing years ago; and my girlfriend, whom I hadn't seen for a while and who was always quite skilled at making whatever I did seem insignificant, asked me, "Are you still writing your LITTLE STORIES for the newspaper?"  Someone else once asked me if I was (in these words) "the lonely writer type"!!  I had three beautiful kids, a husband, a beautiful dog and cat, other family, lots of friends - and this clown thought I could lonely just because I happened to write??  Even on sites like this one, you often see it insinuated that people who are must not have "real" lives.  My answer to any of those kind of insinuations/remarks is always along the lines of, "Some people watch tv.  Some play video games.  Some - who can write - enjoy writing."
    
    I think you should keep on enjoying writing and ignore people who "don't get it".  Think up a line or two to use that will deflate their balloon.  Say something like, "If you like my writing read it.  If you don't, don't read it.  That writing is paying my electric bill, Internet bill, and phone bill without my doing anything but leaving the Hubs posted - so laugh if you want to."

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    Ghost32posted 13 years ago

    Jimmy, as a fellow cat lover, I've gotta say (in the hopes you may find something of use) that coworkers who enjoy teasing are not that hard to neutralize if you're sneaky enough.
    
    Huh?
    
    Well, take my handle on HubPages as an example.  The very first day I went to work for a gasfield water hauling company in Colorado in December of 2006, a guy who goes by the name of Hippee (he really is an old Hippie but can't spell worth crap) decided my name was to be Ghost, based on my coloring which (from the neck up only, go figure) is some days really pale compared to even other Caucasian men.  He was clearly amused and hoping to get a rise out of me.
    
    Instead I thought it over (for about 1.2 seconds), then THANKED him for my new handle.  After all, I let everyone know, that is a really COOL nickname.  I mean, if you get in a fight with him, you can't kill a ghost,  'cause he's already DEAD, and if you swing, your fist goes right THROUGH the ectoplasm!
    
    I took it a step further, painted "GHOST" on my hard hat, and when I had to leave a note for my dispatcher (other than official pay records) signed it "GHOST".  For the full two years I drove for that outfit, hardly anybody knew me by any other name.  It became a mark of RESPECT, as in, "Go ask Ghost; he knows what he's doing," or "Follow Ghost up to that remote location in the mountains; he knows how to get there."  Etc. Etc.
    
    TMI?  Sorry.  Ghost do get carried away sometimes.  Run off at the sheet.  Or is full of sheet, whatever. 
    
    But the point is, if I wanted to do needlepoint and was working in a "tough guy" job, hey, no problem.  They can't jab you if the needle slides right on by.  Or in the case of a ghost, on through.

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    Ghost32posted 13 years ago

    Um, one more thing, really smack dab on topic:  The guys knew I wrote.  They also knew my paperwork was usually neater than theirs--since management sometimes had a guy or gal train with me for a few days to learn how to do it right. 
    
    Never have had anybody gig me for writing; it's usually more amazement that I CAN do it.  Never heard of smartmouthing a writer.
    
    Bet they had trouble getting a "C" in high school English?

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    An interesting Hub for someone who deals with the "tough-guy job phenomenon" (as it applies to writing) might be one about the challenges of people for whom writing may seem "different".
    
    I think people who are, say, teachers, mothers, marketing people, or even hairdressers may not run into the same kind of issues.  I think it would make a good "guy's guy" Hub.

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    Ghost32posted 13 years ago

    Lisa, you make sense.  Hope somebody does write about that.  Maybe not me, though--I've been back and forth between blue collar and white collar careers a lot over the decades but grew up IN the "tough guy phenomenon" (ranch, rodeo, mining, oilpatch) and am not sure I could get the right amount of mental distance to do the topic justice.
    
    Food for thought, though.
    
    P.S.  My Dad was a rancher (and WW II Navy vet) who never finished high school.  My Mom was a high school English teacher.  Talk about "Two Worlds Collide".

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    I think the writing thing can seem "different" in a lot of different settings.  When my kids were little I was able to be home with them during the day because I'd either work from home or else leave them with their father while I went out nights.  I had a Radio Shack "laptop" (with the old fashioned white letters on the tiny screen).  After the children were asleep I'd work on more projects. 
    
    During the day I'd be out and around at the school and with other stay-at-home moms, and the part of me that was working wasn't welcomed, understood, or shared with the other mothers.  It wasn't even acknowledged.  Someone actually told someone else, "She hasn't worked since ___ was born."  Maybe that's yet another Hub - the way different segments of society don't seem to recognize writing as "legitimate" unless a person has a few best-sellers and the mansion to show for it.

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    Dame Scribeposted 13 years ago

    Maybe take their jealousies n recruit them become fellow authors, hehe

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    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    Julie-Ann, I think that's the most clever and effective approach offered here.  I particularly like that you thought to hit them when they're most likely to be tight on cash.
    
    For the most part, people in my present-day life didn't pay much attention to the fact that I write online.  They didn't take it too seriously but kind of had the attitude, "You like to write, so it's nice you do."  There was, however, a lot of the thinking, "People aren't going to really earn much with that kind of stuff."  I eventually started to just give a few people some numbers, and all those hints of condescending attitude kind of faded away.

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    charanjeet kaurposted 13 years ago

    Jimmy that is so rude on thier part, we find people like them in all walks of life. Just ignoring them is the key but you will have to be smart to handle them. Starting with a new name is like from scratch zero again nd i know many here want their work to have thier identity. Do a thing write a hub on how the co workers need to get a life, they will read it anyway and get the moral of the hub. Dont let a bunch of losers stop you from hubbing.

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    candice5posted 13 years ago

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    adsensesecretsposted 13 years ago

    I dont think you should let it bother you. if they tease you then they arent friends now are they? so who cares, do what you want.

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    tksenseiposted 13 years ago

    No class whatsoever

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    Moonmaidenposted 13 years ago

    When I first started writing for local newspapers and topical newsletters, I not only got teased, I got ostracized by the locals. By the time I got to Hubpages many years later, I still get upset when some weird criticism is tossed my way. I guess I will never grow that proverbial thick skin. But life is short so I do my best to keep moving forward. Another writer I know called my writing 'Light Hearted Fluff'. I was so insulted I don't think I've talked to him more than twice in the last two years. He writes movie reviews for a living. Not that I have anything against reviewers, but he's not exactly writing the next War & Peace.
    
    Jimmy I didn't even know you had another job. I thought being a writer was your job. Aren't you worried that your co-workers will read this forum thread though? If they know how to find your articles, won't they know how to find this thread? Or maybe you've solved the problem already.
    
    Now I really feel like a couch potato. You not only write all this for Hubpages, you have a day job too. Maybe you just don't sleep.

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    jimmythejockposted 13 years ago

    I would like to take this oppertunity to thank everyone who replied in this thread and to those people who sent me an email with their show of support for my writing, you guys just prove that I was right about hubpages all along and that it is a site full of wonderful people who support each other and help each other out in times of need, I am not really an attention seeker, I just love to write and you guys have installed a renewed confidence in myself and my writing, following your advice I have decided to ignore the knockers and continue with my writing and research and that is mainly down to you guys.
    thanks again a million times.....jimmy

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    wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

    Hear! Hear! You go Jimmy!

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    Auntie Mposted 13 years ago

    Hey Jim BO
    I just want to add another thought toyour dilemma.
    I have a 13 year old nephew who has a great voice and stage presence. He has performed in 8 - 10 productions so far. Let me tell you about the ribbing this kid would get and still does from his schoolmates. What is so great about him, even though I know it must hurt at times) is that he has a direction, a dream, a vision for himself and he is not letting anyone deter him from it. His response (playground level and even to those who see themselves as cool jocks) is usually " Hey,There are more people who recognize who I am and applaude my talent than seem to be around you." Silly, but it makes a point. He is sure of what he wants and no one dictates waht he does with is time.
    OH! From the mouth of babes.

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    C.J. Wrightposted 13 years ago

    Who cares?! They are reading what you write....sometimes any press is good press.

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    retellectposted 13 years ago

    I would write some things to really get them going! Write something so outrageous that they hype it up enough for it to go viral. They might be having the time of their lives humiliating you but your'e the one getting the dough!

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