And then the fight started...

1. 83

   Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years ago

   I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were
   alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
   You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
   and then you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind...
   
   Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
   He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
   'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
   So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
   
   And then the fight started...

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      samboiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      OMG!!! I can't quit laughing. I about choked on my cereal. I needed the laugh. Thanks for posting this.

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      mjwilliamsonposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      That is so funny!!! My brother will love that...he's really tall and claims to have a fear of little people.

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      tobey100posted 15 years agoin reply to this

        OH!!!! MY!!!! GOD!!!
      
      Dang it, I just peed.

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      IzzyMposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      
      LOL, that has really brightened up my day!
      
      Reminded me too of the time when I was a taxi driver, and I stopped for the 7 dwarfs (they were appearing in a city pantomime). They all tried to pile in. I drove a proper black hack (London taxi) but I wasn't permitted to carry more than 5 so I had to tell them they needed to take 2 taxis.
      They weren't amused - tried to point out that I could (at that time - the law has changed since) carry 10 children and they were only the size of children, but they were adults - admittedly short adults - and my insurance would be null and void if I took them.
      They got really angry and I ended up driving away and leaving them standing there because they were turning aggressive.

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         Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Izzy what a funny memory...

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      tony0724posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I gotta say good retort !

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   6. 60

      RNMSNposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      a joke is a joke but the one that started this thread is a oke and I, to,, about choked laughing so hard!  way to go Zsuzsy Bee!!

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         Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         You know no matter how many times I reread that silly joke I still find it totally hilarious. My mind throws pictures in front of my eyes as I read and I can just see the look on someones face if this really were to happen... just too funny
         Glad  you guys found it funny too.

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      Lifeallstar1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I am actually laughing out loud. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.  The funny part is that the guy understood what you meant right away. Geez...I haven't even read yet what others said...LOL I had to post as soon as I read that. Now I better go read the rest because it must be hysterical!

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   optimus grimlockposted 15 years ago

   lmao!!!!!!!!!!! thats priceless

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      mtsi1098posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      that is priceless...even more so if he yelled I'm sleepy

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3. 58

   Mark Knowlesposted 15 years ago

   LOLOL
   
   Reminds me of the time I played Dopey in a school play. I had to fall off the stage "accidentally." It was a 7 foot drop. This was in the days when you could do things like that to kids.

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      habeeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Ah, the good old days...

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Mark, you Dopey, now that's funny

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   mrpopoposted 15 years ago

   I shouldn't laugh, but that is hilarious

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      ralwusposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Why? It's hucking filarious!

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         mrpopoposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         You do have a point

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         Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Yup definitely hucking filarious!

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5. 81

   habeeposted 15 years ago

   Zsuzsy, did he have Keebler Insurance?

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Habee what's Keebler insurance?

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   raisingmeposted 15 years ago

   I'm sorry but that is funneeeee!  I worked with a fellow whose brother-in-law was a bus driver.  The brother-in-law was put on probation for a week because he saw a turbaned chap shaking out a carpet and he yelled out his open bus window, "What's the matter, can't you get it started?"  We are way too sensitive!

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      Ivorwenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      ROFL!

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Now that is too funny, Raisingme

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   wyanjenposted 15 years ago

   This is wicked funny.
   
   

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8. 68

   jenblacksheepposted 15 years ago

   Ahaha! They are some funny stories. Zsuzsy, I read what you wrote, laughed out loud, then opened the box to reply, read it again and laughed all over again. I think I could re-read that hundreds of times and laugh every time.

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      Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Jen I feel the same way about this silly old joke...

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         Lifeallstar1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         You have to add the Keebler insurance to it. That's so great what Habee said. I can picture the little guy with the Keebler Elves ins plan...LOL

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   raisingmeposted 15 years ago

   Still laughing - this one may last me all day and then some!

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    Daniel Carterposted 15 years ago

    Absolutely a riot! Thanks for the laughs!
    
    Speaking of which, here you go...
    Some of these are just fabulous!
    
    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80502688/

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for the link Daniel I love these.

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11. 82

    ProCWposted 15 years ago

    Well, he wasn't bashful at all, huh, Zsuzsy?! I guess an accident could make him a bit grumpy. Were you sleepy while driving, Zsuzsy?
    
    Great story!!! It made me so HAPPY! But, I am sorry you had the accident! Are you and the little person okay? Did you have to call the Doc?
    
    Sorry, I'm feeling a bit dopey right now - I just woke up!
    
    Please forgive me...
    
    ...
    
    which one am I missing?

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       ProCW, thanks for asking but I wasn't 'sleepy' while driving... my allergies were acting up and they made me 'sneezy'

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       Michael Willisposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Excellent play of "Dwarf names" there ProCW!

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    ilmdamailyposted 15 years ago

    That is utterly hilarious!
    
    Any day that starts off with a furious dwarf is a good one

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13. 81

    Rafiniposted 15 years ago

    Were you a bit Sneezy when you had the accident?  That might get you off the hook! 

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       ProCWposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       That's the one...

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14. 72

    barryrutherfordposted 15 years ago

     

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    waynetposted 15 years ago

    Hahahaha....you gotta watch them dwarfs, they can do damage below the waist!!!!

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       kimberlyslyricsposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       amen

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    Anesidoraposted 15 years ago

    Seems I've heard this joke before.

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    ryankettposted 15 years ago

    
    
    I think that the correct terminology is 'vertically challenged'.
    
    Well which one was he? Grumpy or Dopey?

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Definitely Grumpy I would think...

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    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    How sad !

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19. 60

    Merlin Fraserposted 15 years ago

    My brother was stretched out on his couch beer in one hand remote in the other, when his wife walked into the room and asked; "What's on the TV dear ?"
    
    " Dust !"
    
      That's when the fight started.

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       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hahaha Merlin I hadn't heard that one yet.

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20. 58

    Hunting Videosposted 15 years ago

    You made my day. We all need a good laugh.

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21. 60

    Merlin Fraserposted 15 years ago

    I was talking to my my nextdoor neighbours the other day and she told me that some days she wakes up Grumpy and other days she lets him sleep !
    
    That's when the fight started !

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hahaha You're on a role... keep them coming.

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    Arthur Fontesposted 15 years ago

    My wife told me she wanted a dishwasher.
    
    I told her the one we had worked fine.
    
    She said  "We do not have a dishwasher,  I do all the dishes!"
    
    I said   "Exactly."
    
    That is when the fight started.

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    1. 59

       tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Ultimate Hubberposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Funny, very funny stuff

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23. 71

    Cagsilposted 15 years ago

    Oh, WOW!
    
    That brought tears to my eyes.

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    Joy56posted 15 years ago

    did i ever tell you i was a dwarf and it is not my fault

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       Cagsilposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Being a Dwarf cannot be any person's fault.

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       My friend who is a vertically challenged person 3'6 always says
       "...we the dwarfs, are just like real people just shorter,"

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    Internetwriter62posted 15 years ago

    It's bad enough rear ending another driver, but then to find that person is an unhappy dwarf and you say the first thing that comes to you mind. It seems today was really not your day. I hope you manage to end it all amicably.

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       Merlin Fraserposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You do realise it was a joke
       And not an example of foot in mouth syndome ?

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          tantrumposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          I'm sorry to say I didn't find anything to laugh about, in that joke.
          the others posted in this thread I find quite funny.
          Maybe it's because a friend of mine has a child that is a dwarf ?
          
          Not everyone laughs at others mishaps.

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             Non-offensiveUserposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Honestly, I don't have a problem laughing and anyone, no matter who they are if the joke is funny.  This joke, or should I say terrible attempt at a joke, is just stupid.

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             Merlin Fraserposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             you are right of course, humour is a personal thing, however if you study comedy and humour there is and always will be a subject, usually a minority that will be the butt of that humour.
             
             Someone slips and falls over, we laugh, more as an inner reflex that it wasn't us. Same way we enjoy other peoples misfortunes and embarrasment.
             
             This paticular joke wasn't meant to be offensive to Dwarfs it was meant to be a houmour cross reference to the characters of Snow White.
             
             However if I have to explain it I can see why it didn't see the funny side...

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             Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

             Tantrum, one of my best friend is a short person or dwarf. She was over when I opened the joke filled email from my daughter. She pushed me out of my seat after she stopped laughing her head off so she could send it to her husband and her sisters to read also... by the way her birth name  given to her by her parents is Cassandra but she calls herself Midge... has for years and years.  Her comment to your worry about the joke offending short people... her words, word for word... " for crying out loud, why do you tall ones always insist on creating problems where there really are none... tell her (you) to lighten up. That was one funny joke and take it as such. We, the dwarfs, consider it more of an offense that you pity us for being vertically challenged than being called Happy, Sneezy or even Dopey. And we're definitely not mishaps"

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                Ivorwenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

                I went to camp one summer with a dwarfed  gal.  She had more jokes about short people, and was proud of her difference, and the things they allowed her to do.  The thing that really bothered her was people patting her on the head, thinking she was a toddler.

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                Lifeallstar1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

                EXACTLY!! I would not make fun of a little person unless I knew them well like a friend, that is why this was so funny because it was a joke. Just like jokes about Italians, someone with one arm, no legs, dumb people (not mentally retarded...I mean dumb that cant get a joke and keep it light), blonds, and so many other jokes. Without people and everyone has something wrong with them, we would have no jokes. Jokes are funny when you can relate or just so crazy that you cannot imagine anyone ever doing it, like this joke. That's why they are called jokes. I have had TBI with permanent short term memory loss. I joke about it all the time. If I don't or my friends don't then it makes the struggle ten times worse. My friends are making light of something heavy and serious so I will feel better. Sounds odd but instead of them saying, oh I'm so sorry you have to write all over your arms to remember something because you"ll forget to look in your planner. Which is the serious way but still funny to me. They say, "hey I'm heading out, need anymore markers?" Or "you need to highlight anything?" and stupid stuff like that but it's funny. My mom has MS which is very upsetting to me but she makes jokes about herself all the time because it makes me feel better. She worries about me and makes jokes about herself so I won't worry about her. Plus it lightens things up. She comes up with some good ones too. So, whether its a religion, a body part missing, being born a certain way, an accident, a disease, there are jokes for all and I'm sorry but it's how a joke is told that is the funniest part and this joke was hilarious!!!! Good job!!

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    Merlin Fraserposted 15 years ago

    Getting out of the shower one morning my ex wife stood naked before me looking in the full length mirror she didn’t seem too impressed at what she saw.
    
    “Look at me,” she wailed, “more wrinkles than a prune, hair getting greyer by the day and all be bodily bits heading south.  Please tell me something to make me feel better !”
    
    “At least your eyesight is still good, “ I replied.
    
    That’s when the fight started.

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       W. Christopherposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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       Ultimate Hubberposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       

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    Shona Venterposted 15 years ago

    A friend of my partner's complained to her hubby that "You never ever take me anywhere expensive!"
    
    His solution to that...he took her to the petrol/filling station.
    
    That's when the fight started...

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    Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years ago

    Aren't these silly jokes just fabulous... My daughter sent me a long list of them, all funny but when I got to the dwarf one I exploded laughing... I had to wipe down the computer screen because I had splurted coffee all over it.

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    tantrumposted 15 years ago

    BTW Nothing against Szuzsybee, which I find an awesome writer. Everyone is free to laugh at anything they choose to. And I have the freedom to express my opinion. But as it touches me personally, I had to say what I think. Sorry to everyone !

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       Non-offensiveUserposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       There is no need to say that you're sorry.  That joke sucked, and was quite offensive.  Now had it have mentioned a neverending parade of dwarfs dressed as clowns filing out of the car.  It might of been a little funnier and less offensive.

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Tantrum, and Socky, sorry I meant to say Non-offensiveUser I copied and pasted my earlier reply here so you wouldn't miss it and hopefully you would read it.
       
       
       ....one of my best friend is a short person or dwarf. She was over when I opened the joke filled email from my daughter. She pushed me out of my seat after she stopped laughing her head off so she could send it to her husband and her sisters to read also... by the way her birth name  given to her by her parents is Cassandra but she calls herself Midge... has for years and years.  Her comment to your worry about the joke offending short people... her words, word for word... " for crying out loud, why do you tall ones always insist on creating problems where there really are none... tell her (you) to lighten up. That was one funny joke and take it as such. We, the dwarfs, consider it more of an offense that you pity us for being vertically challenged than being called Happy, Sneezy or even Dopey. And we're definitely not mishaps"

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       wyanjenposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Tantrum
       
       I get what you are saying and there isn't a need to apologize IMO.
       
       My mother is Polish. I've heard PLENTY of Polish jokes in my years. "Polack" is an ethnic slur for sure.
       But, most of the jokes come from my own family
       My mother used to have a license plate on her car that said "Proud to be Polish". She put it on upside down.
       
       My philosophy is offense is taken, not given.
       
       I see why you would frown about this and I respect that. But, I'm gonna go ahead and laugh some more. This is hilarious.

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          Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          love this '..... My philosophy is offense is taken, not given.'

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          Lifeallstar1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

          She put the plate upside down. That is so witty of her. I love that!!!!

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    Beth100posted 15 years ago

    lol  Oh, I needed this. 

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       We all need a good laugh as often as possible, Beth...

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    tobey100posted 15 years ago

    I love those 'and then the fight started' stories.
    At a dinner party someone asked my wife and I how long
    we'd been married.  I told them so long I didn't look both
    ways when I crossed the street anymore....and then the fight
    started.

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       hahaha, good one

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    Joy56posted 15 years ago

    and i am not really a dwarf ...... i was kidding, wondered how this thread went on.....
    
    
    any more jokes anyone

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    tobey100posted 15 years ago

    My favorite sort of forum.  We all need a good laugh and we got one.  Thanks all

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    snehal weldeposted 15 years ago

    hillarious ...i love your sense of humour

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       Lifeallstar1posted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Snehal- the funny thing to me right now is that I am laughing about all of this and joining in the convo, posting here and there, laughing, posting some more, and then realize they posted all of this 2 weeks ago LOL. Thanks for at least posting on the same day as me. Even within the same hour!!!!

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