If your keyboard could talk, what would it say about you?

1. 61

   Sunny_Sposted 14 years ago

   "You type to darn fast"
   and
   "for f### sake, give me a clean from time to time ahahah

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2. 61

   Chaotic Chicaposted 14 years ago

   It would probably tell me to use more of the outer corners and try tabbing with my right hand thumb once in a while as I'm buffing the rest of the keys to a nice, high gloss shine!  It might also add to be more careful with it when the children are around as they get to playing rough with it when I walk away. LOL But that's just a guess.

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3. 70

   rgarnettposted 14 years ago

   "When you do use me, its for writing those rants you write. Which means ... can you be a little gentler with my keys. They are sensitive. Oh and PS, I like you better when you write your novel. Not so much abuse."

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4. 60

   Jane@CMposted 14 years ago

   "yes, dear, my "E" is starting to fail, you really need to clean my keyboard a bit more often"
   
   "tell you kid to keep his sticky fingers of my keys"
   
   "I'm hot for a reason, I need a fan"

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5. 61

   readytoescapeposted 14 years ago

   Stop spilling your drinks on me, between all the coffee and the scotch I dont know if I should be asleep or awake

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6. 60

   Greg Cremiaposted 14 years ago

   Stop eating

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7. 66

   Joy56posted 14 years ago

   you are getting there, Brenda, just keep trying.

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8. 60

   HoopBotposted 14 years ago

   I like your touch.

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9. 61

   swapna123posted 14 years ago

   I'm not allergic to cleanliness.. u know.. i don't mind a clean, new look..

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10. 59

    Frufflesposted 14 years ago

    That I type too fast to spell things correctly lol i'm a horrible speller =P

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11. 0

    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    [[[ ^|^ %%#@ % ( * ). ( | )

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12. 60

    triosolposted 14 years ago

    Stop Hitting Me for 18 hours a day I need a break

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13. 77

    Bard of Elyposted 14 years ago

    He lets me get covered in dust apart from my keys he uses so much all the letters and figures have worn away!

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14. 60

    SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

    ...hmmmm....your mind moves faster than your fingers...and i love your nails btw...that shade of pink reminds me of summer....thank you for not spilling stuff on me too and being so gentle when you touch me...and keep that cat of yours away from me....

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    1. 80

       Eiddwenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       She thinks that I don't understand all those nasty names she keeps on calling me, just because she can't type very well!!!

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15. 61

    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    I like the feel of your fingers. I miss it, but don't clean me every now and then. I like to get dirty at times. Ok?

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16. 60

    dutchman1951posted 14 years ago

    for my keyboard:
    
    "man, this guy can not spell worth a flip!"
    
    lol

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17. 68

    Blogging Erikaposted 14 years ago

    "Please buy a coffee cup with a lid."

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18. 60

    Misfitmom423posted 14 years ago

    Mine would say:
    
    "STOP HITTING MY KEYS SO HARD WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY!"
    
    and
    
    "will you slow the f*** down?!"

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19. 60

    couturepopcafeposted 14 years ago

    "Thanks for all the attention.  I am a machine and can take it.  Please go do something else."

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20. 59

    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    "MY  what big hands you have!"

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21. 86

    lex123posted 14 years ago

    What were you doing before my arrival to this world? Go back to your old pen and paper and give me some rest.

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22. 0

    3 Finger Readerposted 14 years ago

    "Dude, you'd think that after ten years you'd have learned how to capitalize an 'A'..."

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23. 55

    guyinspaceposted 14 years ago

    Clean me!

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24. 59

    FacetiousRemarkposted 14 years ago

    "Quit spilling crumbs on me! They've moved into...places..."
    
    "Don't hit me, it's Mr Computer up there you need to shout at for going so slow..."

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25. 61

    rorymullenposted 14 years ago

    My keyboard would say: Clean me and stop letting the baby pound on me. I would like to see N and M more but they have faded away. L ,a,s, and o will be leaving for a trip soon to never be sen again. Sell me and find your self a new Keyboard

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26. 69

    waynetposted 14 years ago

    Your pants smell, go and have a bath!

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27. 80

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    "I know you're trying, and you're doing better than you used to - but when you spilled coffee on me three months ago you didn't do a very good job of cleaning me up - I know you thought you wouldn't need those function keys up at the top anyway, but still - I hate it when my keys stick - it makes me look bad.  Also, what's with all the dashes? - really unneccesary! and btw is that really how to spell unnecessary? uneccessary? huh? STOP trying to make me look bad!"    "Still, I know how hard you're trying! poor thing."

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    1. 61

       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL<
       
       keyboard said - please release me, let me go

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       1. 80

          mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          my keyboard never shuts up!  At night I hear it mumbling while I sleep about all the mistakes and stupid things I used it for all day long!

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          1. 61

             prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             your keyboard said, cmon mega, I miss you, I want to see that cute baby avatar there with the green eyes.

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             1. 80

                mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                you know!  you're right!  not just my keyboard, my entire computer, misses me when I'm not tapping away all the time.  It turns itself on in the middle of the night and sort of whines and clicks and calls to me until I get up and groggily start up the internet!  no lie!  And if I put it on "sleep" it laughs at me - as if to say "sleep? sleep?  who sleeps! muwahhahahahaha!"  I have to leave the house in order to ignore this infernal machine!

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28. 71

    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    If your keyboard could talk, what would it say about you-
    
    That I have a complete disregard for it's well being.

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29. 75

    Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

    "Hey Lady! Where the heck did the '7' key go? Haven't you noticed the gaping hole between 6 and 8? Is this any way to treat your livelihood? Don't make us go on strike!"

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30. 79

    manlypoetrymanposted 14 years ago

    A verse from a Conway Twitty song comes to mind for this reply:
    
    "You want a man with a slow hand, you want a lover with an easy touch.
    
    You want somebody who will spend some time...
    Not come and go in a heated rush.
    
    Baby, believe me, I understand, when it comes to love
    You want a slow hand..."

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31. 60

    Mrs. J. B.posted 14 years ago

    That I cannot type for crap. I know absoltuely nothing about computers and hey go get me a drink. I am having to deal with you pounding my keys

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32. 87

    Happyboomernurseposted 14 years ago

    "Give me a rest please, you pound on me day and night!"

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33. 59

    suzybee30posted 14 years ago

    Thanks for all the tasty crumbs, but I think you may need to go on a healthy diet.
    
    and
    
    Thank goodness the computer has spell check, because honestly you can't spell worth a darn!

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34. 68

    meow48posted 14 years ago

    "Pleaseee.... not another one of these... Couldn't you write something... i don't know ... a little more spicy than that?  I mean in laptop years i am way over twenty one..."

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35. 61

    Rajab Nsubugaposted 14 years ago

    Have you fallen asleep?

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36. 78

    TamCorposted 14 years ago

    My faithful, but now departed, wireless keyboard SHOULD have said:
    
    Never, no matter WHAT someone told you, NEVER is it okay to put me in the dishwasher to clean....
    
    Oops.
    
    

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    1. 79

       WannaB Writerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Love it!

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    2. 60

       Mrs. J. B.posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       WHAT???? The Dishwasher???? LOL

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37. 60

    wormdoposted 14 years ago

    "Needs to stop eating while hovering over me, it's disgusting."

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    1. 60

       Mrs. J. B.posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I am still laughing

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38. 61

    Wulf Dreamwalkerposted 14 years ago

    Oh no not the hunt and peck and all the spelling errors guy sheesh why didn't he take typing in high school .and stop dropping crumbs on me sheesh ........ oh good hes logging off for the night... wait he was just resetting the comps... 4 more hoursd of him  can i run away please......Oh no not the hot coffee ..I hate when it drips of the moustache... and whats he doing telling someone how to spell that he cant even spell his name right...

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39. 79

    WannaB Writerposted 14 years ago

    It's Ok to eat apples when you type, but please keep the baklava in the kitchen, along with the oranges.

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    1. 60

       Mrs. J. B.posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       HAHA... I love it

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40. 60

    Mrs. J. B.posted 14 years ago

    That I am a cold hearted b

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41. 80

    BenWritingsposted 14 years ago

    It would say " I didn't want to know half of what I do about him "

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42. 0

    Edliraposted 14 years ago

    Mine would say, "Stop eating above me"..lol

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43. 72

    Rhonda Waitsposted 14 years ago

    Mine would say "Ouch that hurt" I don't tap I bang my keys.

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44. 61

    Nicole Breitposted 14 years ago

    I wish she'd stop eating cookies while typing.

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45. 76

    barryrutherfordposted 14 years ago

    You have big digits

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46. 60

    Alexander Peaseposted 14 years ago

    My keyboard would say, "Slow down, you're wearing me out."

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47. 74

    tritrainposted 14 years ago

    "You know all the right buttons to push Big Daddy"

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48. 0

    writeronlineposted 14 years ago

    "For God's sake, stop the re-reading, finessing and crafting, and just publish!"

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    1. 60

       paradigmsearchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Good One!

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49. 0

    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    "QUIT HITTING ME!"

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50. 89

    Pamela N Redposted 14 years ago

    It would probably say I'm a dyslexic typist.

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