Why do so many people feel "entitled" and "deserving" these days?
This seems especially apparent in younger people and children.
In our country of America and others , as well, people are coming to the realization that they are,indeed, entitle and well deserving of such things as respect, freedom of speech,and other rights guaranteed by the constitution. Perhaps there is more public awareness , in part due to advancing technology and access to faster communication. Rights and privileges earned by the Revolutionary War and later supported in racial upheaval and giving of deserved rights as Americans,as well as new found acceptance and freedoms experienced by new immigrants, all help create the seemingly new sense of entltlement and the deserving of rights, in a country that is supposed to stand for this specific ability.by it citizenry.
They are taught to be this way. Government wants to stay in power so they indirectly teach the public to get as many services they can for free.. Really it isn't free it comes at a cost to the tax payer.
People feel they are entitled to healthcare, education, and many other services.
The truth is they are only entitled to their freedom, liberty, Bill of Rights, and Constitution. Unfortunately these are all becoming irrelevant in a time when people feel as though they deserve something.
Really what happened was, government inflated the money supply so prices are going up and people can't afford healthcare , etc, they feel as though they are entitled to the service for free. The real problem is government got involved thirty years ago in Medicare and Medcaid while pushing prices up.
People have lost their sense of purpose, and just look for their entitlements. You are supposed to work for services and products, not get them for free. The government isn't supposed to get involved in the market place, they are supposed to allow competition not government monopolies.
So I'm assuming the people who voted down are for government monopolies, that lower competition in the market place?
I too dislike the voting down of answers that ADD to the discussion. There are far too many trolls here with nothing to add, just vote down
Excellent answer and very truthful. If the government wanted to cut down on the amounts of people who seek so-called 'free' gov't services, they would set more restrictions for those who apply for them. Thank you for your comment!
Well I won't vote you down, but I disagree with you. I don't see a lot of lazy people looking for a handout.
I don't see lazy people asking for handouts, although perhaps in some of our subcultures that's the way of life. I have seen people lose a great job suddenly and then suddenly find the need for help from The System to eat and live, but temporarily.
I agree with the subtext of you question, but I don't think everyone feels this way... we just can't help notice and remember those who do. My experience is that the people who act the most 'entitled' are those who are most dysfunctional, but don't even see their own flaws (unfaithful relationships, heavy drinking or alcoholism, disrespectful children, failing as parents and role models...) It's a facade in my opinion.
I agree with you--it's a facade barely covering the darkness underneath their surface. I didn't intend a political subtext, however. I was just curious. Everybody feels they're powerful and can do anything they want to, even at others' expense.
People tend to feel entitled to the things that they take for granted. And since Americans, on average, are born into material prosperity (relative to the rest of the world), they feel entitled to the things that many people view as luxuries. It's part of the reason why major powers throughout history eventually decline. Citizens become spoiled and soft.
I see no excessive entitlement culture wherever I look. On the other hand, I do see many articles, politicians and people pontificating on other people’s entitlements. The Zeitgeist of our times seems to be to simply crush other opinions or beliefs through intimidation and emotional response rather than through a logical, persuasive argument. Everywhere one looks one can find examples of people asking for a handout, stating they deserve certain status, expecting things, etc. However, as a meme, “entitlement” is a great statement to elevate one’s own ideas or beliefs while shaming others into solitude or defeat. I find it fascinating how everyone blames everyone else for being entitled, but superficially look at their own life, and completely justify their own values without any deep retrospective analysis.
Well said. Until about four or five years ago we never heard this word. Now it is a political way to frame any discussion of benefits as a discussion of 'entitlements' so as to heap shame on anyone who needs them.
I'm curious, gmarquardt. You say, "I see no excessive entitlement culture wherever I look." How do you define "excessive entitlement" and also where all have you been looking?
CR Rookwood: I minored in English writing so this word is not new to me.
@ LSchneider, I suppose I used the adjective excessive to lesson the impact of the word entitlement. As a public high school teacher, most of my colleagues agree that each generation becomes more "entitled." I just don't see it.
Excellent comment. It's dangerous for so many of the middle class and lower middle class to look downward and blame instead of looking upward to find the source of problems. Believing in perpetuated myths is hurtful to society.
Government plans "cuts" to benefits. Screams the headlines and with that it's guaranteed to be the main item on radio, tv and papers. The theme is aimed at the fact that families where no one has worked for many years (if ever) and have upwards of five, six or more children are living in accommodation way beyond the means of working people. Is that right? Asks the interviewer and the intercoms light up.
Jane, tell us your story.
"I have worked all my life to save for a house and my wife goes to work so that we can give our two children the best we can."
"I live in a street where my partner and I are the only people who work. We have only been able to take a long weekends holiday this year, but we do it for our children."
Thank you," says the presenter we have Sue on the line."
" I'm not working and my husband can't work, he's been trying for ten years but there's no work around here. We have ten children and we need a big house for them all. We don't go on holidays and we don't have much for the kids. We deserve to be housed where we are."
"Sue, if we're close on the figures you are getting over £40.000 a year with a big house."
"That's right, the council moved us here because the last house was too small. No body's going to tell me how many kids to have."
"Sue, talk to Jane."
"Jane why shouldn't Sue take the house she's been given by the council?"
That just about sums up "why so many people feel entitled." Whenever the question comes up this is generally how it goes. Or someone will ring up saying their husband has been made redundant, hoe does this affect them? They are not who the legislation is aimed at, but they rant anyway. You see they are "deserving."
The question is passed answering because politics wont allow the tough action to be taken in the UK.
For me, as a self employed man, unable to afford a holiday this year to enable the business to keep going. No guesses where my beliefs lie.
I hear this from pundits and in the blogosphere all the time, this sense of entitlement, but honestly I don't see it. Maybe I just don't know the right (or wrong) young people.
Two of my kids worked their way through college and are now responsibly paying back student loans and working entry level jobs and not complaining that they aren't CEOs. They seem happy. My son works two jobs to support himself. I've worked my whole life (until recently) and never collected a day of unemployment insurance or one food stamp. So I don't understand this obsession with how 'entitled' people feel these days.
Recently I took a minimum wage job for two years even through I have two degrees and a lifetime of professional work experience. I did not feel 'entitled' to more, although I did wish I could get better work, and my coworkers didn't feel that way either. We all worked our butts off and the money did not stretch far enough.
So I hear it, but I don't see it. Maybe it's out there, but not around here it isn't.
There need to be more people like you! The unemployment numbers wouldn't be what they are. The underemployed numbers may be higher but if people could let go of their ego and take any job vs no job the world would be much better off!
CR, I agree.The obsession w the word "entitlement" -perpetuation of these ideas is misguided, destructive, and archaic. Research indicates that Millennials/First Globals r more socially conscious and active in working toward positive change than any
The reasons for this behavior dumbfound me because there is no logic to it. Anything that we have, no matter how great or small, can be taken away at any time and those that haven't honestly earned what they obtain are probably more likely to learn this the hard way.
As far as younger people and kids, it can be attributed to the "young and dumb" way many people are in their youth. It's a know-it-all attitude because their parents probably have not taught them that they need to work hard to earn the things they need & want in life. Too many parents shield their children from some of the realities of life such as budgets, sacrifice, etc. and kids grow up thinking whatever they want because their parents said so or because they threw tantrums to get it.
However, I come across too many adults (30's, 40's, etc.) that have the exact same attitude. Perhaps they have family enabling them in this attitude or they simply haven't grown up?
Regardless of the cause, it seems the feeling itself is so harmful to a person. When you feel "entitled" or "full of yourself" it is very difficult to feel humble or blessed or grateful. It's a very good feeling to earn what you have and to cherish it because you know it may not last. I pity anyone who's deprived of these things and takes without giving anything back.
The good thing is, whatever your situation, you can decide to lift a little weight off someone else. Once you start you'll likely enjoy it some much you'll do it more and more. We really don't have to wait for governments or institutions to change to make a difference.
Blaming a government, corporation, or society for our individual failures is what I think you're talking about. If so, I agree that we need to do this--make this change--ourselves. Do the right things, don't cheat the systems, help those in need...
Exactly, I think it's natural for people to want to contribute and do their part, it makes us feel good. Entitlement robs us of the sense of self worth and independence. The process can be reversed in the ways you suggest. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It's because kids do not earn anything these days it is all given to them freely.
Kids carry around $1500 tablets and $500 cell phones.....they have to have $200 pairs of jeans and $100 shoes.
You have got to be jesting. No middle income parent can afford to supply their children with the abovementioned!
gmwilliams, I'm afraid that she's not totally jesting: in my experience, too, that's kind of the "American Dream", so to speak, of those kids she's referring to, whether their parents can afford it or not, regardless of earnings brackets. Sad.
I believe it's the sad fact that so many people are spoiled today by our culture and society. Not many are told "NO."
I think many people are voting answers up or down based on their perceived political agreement with the writer. That's not the purpose of voting; you vote up if an answer lends itself to furthering the discussion and down if it detracts from discussion. Please look back at any question you have rated up or down and re-rate it if you voted that way simply because you did or didn't agree with the comment.
I apologize for setting off some political hot-buttons for people; I only intended to hear what people had to say, yay or nay, not to determine anything about their politics or personal situation. I am truly puzzled by my question, having paid every penny of my own tuition for undergraduate and some graduate school (I'll finish someday).
The question has a strong political subtext though. If you ask a question like that it's like poking at a hornets nest. Of course there's going to be lots of stinging going on,
People should not "sting" others, for starters--perhaps that's part of the problem. I simply am reminding people that the voting is NOT based on whether you agree or disagree with anything said but on whether the comment forwards the discussion.
It is due to the parents protraying that everything should be given to them whenever they want it. I want this but don't have money, I will use my credit card and if I over spend I can go bankrupt and start over. I think this started with the generation that came of age in the 60's.
No child deserves a phone in kindergarten. Children should do something to earn money to purchase items like video games, phones, expensive clothes and so on. That way they have responsibility over it and take better care of it. If everything is given to them then they don't care and ruin it quickly. Lost my phone, oh well, mom and dad will buy me a new one.
I have a child who just finished kindergarten and have never seen or heard of a child that young having a phone, so I hope you were being extreme to make a point and don't really believe there are kindergarten students walking around with cell phones
No when I lived in San Jose, CA there were 3 girls who had cell phones. In toronto I see grade 2s and 3s with cell phones. I'm not around kindergartens up here to know if they have phones. No being extreme for me.
Children should only be allowed a phone when they are old enough to go out alone. (i.e. 16). Even then, there should be very limited capabilities. I have seen children as young as 8 and 9 with them, which is more than a bit ridiculous!
LilaDaley I hear what you're saying, but (like wearing makeup, going out on dates, getting a job) the absolute age when a child acquires an adult responsibility varies. Not all cell phone-using 5-yr olds are irresponsible, nor their parents stupid.
Beacuse our culture no longer values hard work and discipline.
Indeed! Most people I know haven't tried learning those skills. Ex: they fail a test, not because they went to the movies, "It was an unfair test," or "Paid cheaters skewed the curve." But they played, not worked, earning their F. & "A" for excu
Bravo! The younger generation has no value for what hard work and sacrifice can do!
You have also read the book, THE CHEATING CULTURE.
During the 80s when money was far easier to come by and there was no war against terror, we became a spoiled nation. Parents gave their children what they felt they wished they would have had when they were growing up, but their parents couldn't afford it. Perhaps their parents wanted them to appreciate the things they received, but for whatever reason, these folks grew up and started spoiling their children. They gave us lots of praise and positive reinforcement and soon the thought of a spanking or even a tough word or two was considered possible abuse. The schools lost their ability to properly dicipline children and the parents sought to become "friends" with their children, often as a way to win the war going on in their own divorce court for the child's affection. Children were given too much power and learned how to control adults. Today it is out of control as even teachers are no longer role models for what they preach when they are caught cheating on tests or are in the local headlines for improper behavior after-hours. The lines between adult and child have been blurred beyond recognition. Parents have needs they seek to be met via their children and the children are expected to act as adults, dress like adults and behave like adults far too young. Children are not safe to go outside and play so they stay inside where they are further influenced by television which is all about consume, consume, consume... all the things you "deserve" or should want if you are cool. Parents who do not wish to stand in the way of their child's chance at a reputation at school that might be better than what their own reputation once was, will sacrifice their own needs in order to buy things for their children. We substitute money and purchasing thing for love because so many of us do not know what real love is ourselves. And, it is much easier to give money often than it is to give real love and concern. That's why taxpayers always vote yes on education taxes even if they are against any other kind... they know the schools and kids are in trouble, but they don't really want to get involved. They think money will solve the problems and relieve their guilty consciences. They give money. What all of us need, no matter what age, is more love, compassion and understanding. If we would give, perhaps we would stop focusing so much on what we deserve and start realizing what others deserve from us. Such is life.
I think you've hit all of the things I'm worried/thinking about related to this issue, and have selected this as the best answer. I remember the 1980s and early 90s being that way. I want everything my parents have, only brand new, and I want it NOW!
Thanks Laura! The topic was very relevent to me as my husband and I have been advocating for equality in per pupil funding for the neighborhood schools here in DeKalb County, GA. There are far too many hands out and not enough to go around.
You hit on many good points. When we were prosperous we could afford to try to support everyone. In the beginning we hoped by this to make them productive. That seems to have backfired and we have more to support then ever. People need to kick in
I especially like what you mentioned about today's parents wanting to be their kid's friends rather than parents. Trying to be your kid's "bestie" might make you feel good, but it'll likely turn him into an undisciplined monster.
I don't know why they do, except that maybe they do not possess a significant appreciation for the absolute value and reward of WORK. I think we as a nation need to get back to some true basics. There are so many external influences on our children today as they seem to be living in an electronic world. We need to get back to FAMILY.
Because people live in a society of abundance and limitless resources.
it's only abundant because people produce...and resources are never limitless they are just efficiently managed. If only we had more people on the job, I bet we would do marvelous things
I don't think that applies to our "society" as a whole but perhaps only 1% of its 99% of Americans (abundance and limitless resources). Like Darkland, I think abundance occurs because people produce and recsources are efficiently managed.
Hi Laura Schneider!
Actually, I would turn the question around a bit. I would say that we, as Americans (I assume we're most Americans living in America here?), expect remarkable little from life. After all, we are the only advanced industrial society on this Earth that does not guarantee free access to comprehensive healthcare to all of its citizens, as well as free college education (Why should money be a barrier to college? Why can't everybody who wants to go, go for free? We all went to elementary school and highschool, didn't we?); and citizens of northern and western Europe get a host of other wonderful benefits and public services.
One reason may be that they restrain their corporations, and don't let CEO pay get out of control as it is here in America (not only is it not correlated to performance but the outrageous disparity between what a top corporate manager and a non-supervisory worker gets, is without any equal anywhere in the world, not even close). I believe that, in some ways, we don't expect enough.
Other advanced industrial countries don't allow anything like the levels of homelessness, poverty, and unemployment that we do. The problem is that we Americans think that this savage, jungle hypercapitalism is the only way to organize a society.
Well, now you've done it. Once the hard right rant warriors get a whiff of this, it will be "game on". ( I, too, enjoy the quotation marks). Strap 'em up, Trooper. This will be a "Doozie".
I am a "right wing rant warrior", but I think you've made very good points that are well written and concise. So, although I might not believe it wholeheartedly I'll leave it stand on it's own merits and say thanks for your point of view
WC: You don't think it's lame to use a focused question as an entry to promote your politics? Seriously, we're talking about young people wanting expensive toys, clothes, and cars; you're ranting about war, poverty. Go away--write your own hubs! Bye.
Wow, Had I decided to post a comment, a real one. I may have had the same slant on things that WC did. The question seems broader than child and young people specific. Embrace it LS. Even if we're off message we are responding. That's a good thing.
I apologize, EVERYONE! Re-reading this question and the depth of responses, you're all absolutely right. This can't be limited to iPhone kids--that's inappropriate. It's part of a huge picture. Sorry for being so dense; thanks for commenting anyway!
Because alot of grown people are full of themselves. I believe young people are watching their parents or guardian behave in ways that are not acceptable and unconsciously they pick up these traits. Some grown folk will go as far as stepping on someone else just to get "recognition" or receive whatever they believe they are entitled to. smh but as they say what goes around at some point tends to make its way back home.
Great question. I see more and more younger people who feel this way because they have gotten everything handed to them all of their lives. The real world doesn't work that way.
There are many good points here, but I would highlight just one. Two generations of parents, mislead by psychologists and influenced by marketers, have decided that they are responsible for their children's happiness. I believe we are responsible for our children's safety, and we model to our children how to make themselves happy.
Children who grow up thinking that their parents should make them happy end up thinking the world should make them happy - that's entitlement.
Children who learn how to make themselves happy have less of the mind of entitlement, and can learn more to create and to serve. One of the most remarkable young people I ever met had not special training, but moved like a dancer, was relaxed and flexible, did a difficult meditation retreat, and was off to Burma to help starving people at age 20. When I asked her how she got that way, she explained that her parents meditated a lot, and, when she was four years old, told her, "We're going into the other room to do nothing; you can take care of yourself" for two hours. She learned two things: It's okay to do nothing (end of boredom) and that she could take care of herself.
That's potential, not entitlement!
The younger generation doesn't want to have to really "work" for a living. They want everything handed to them. They don't want have to go without their "extras". They "deserve" everything, and can not fathom having to go without it because they can not afford it. No one is entitled to anything, and unless one works for it, you don't deserve to have it.
I think the biggest problem with today's society and especially the younger generation is they grew up during the "coddling" approach to parenting, schooling etc. Students and children today are rewarded for everything. Parents began to complain about winners and losers in sports being "painful" to their children and so came about the "no one wins sports" with the message "we are here to have fun". Children all receive trophies and competition is not encouraged. In school students are given constant praise in hopes to motivate them to complete homework, do their classwork, behave. Basically they are rewarded for just doing what they are supposed to do. This approach may be helpful short term but is damaging in the long run and creates students expecting an incentive before they will put forth any effort. In our town we have Honor roll and On A Roll at our schools. Basically everyone is rewarded at the ceremony unless they received D's or F's. They are given a huge pat on the back for doing "ok" work. They are rewarded for mediocracy. Some of these kids themselves even know they shouldn't be rewarded and rather than encourage them it embarrasses them. The students who work so hard all year to get A's and B's feel slighted, and less than encouraged for their ambition and success.
The problem with this approach is competition is human nature. It is what drives us to succeed. What motivates us. When the playing field is leveled for everyone and everyone is determined a "winner" there is nothing to strive for. These students join the workforce expecting "what are you going to do for me". When they get into the real world they are unprepared. They were never taught self-motivation. Some kids learn this at home and through their parents but those who don't who are schooled in this environment only know how to perform for an external reward and never for their own self worth.
Awesome answer! I think you're right--this is a HUGE part of the problem, if not the whole problem. I think some of these kids bring this attitude home with them and teach their parents these tricks, also: the kids manipulate the adults that way.
As a society, a lot of parents strive to give their children the best of everything they wanted in relation to their needs that children these days have merged the two in an effort to pass off what is actually a want as a need in order to claim entitlement. For example, in the old days, if a kid needed clothes, parents had more of an ability to go out and buy them the very best designer name brands. Because of the economy at that time, Kids could get what they wanted as far as a name brand instead of settling for what they needed in the clothing in itself. As a result, the children these days now view the very best designs as a need instead of a want in regards to clothing.
I totally agree with you regarding children passing off "wants" as "needs"! I think parents may be doing it, too. They may be working themselves too hard to provide these "needs", when they could let go of the '80s and '90s and teach "less is more".
There is probably nothing that angers me more than the use of the word "entitlement" along with the implication that there there are a large number of people who feel they are "deserving." These words are perpetuated by "think tanks" to create a political bias and create an extremely negative, pompous, and egotistical way of viewing human nature. That view puts a person in a postion of superiority over "them." The use of those words has become so ubiquitous that we don't even realize how much we use them to denegrate others. To call "help to another citizen" a "hand-out," to accuse people who contributed to their unemployment funds or social security of feeling "entitled" is neither Christian nor moral in my mind, and it precisely that kind of meaning that the use of those words imply. There will always be people who take advantage of any system (a minority, I choose to believe) - 'some men who do it with a six-gun, and others who do it with a fountain pen.' But if we choose to believe that we, as a society, are NOT taking advantage of the system; that our children are NOT suddenly selfish and self-absorbed; that most of us are above all that - above feeling "entitled" or "deserving;" and that the majority of Americans are hard working conscientious citizens, we will do more to elevate us as a society than believing otherwise.
was going to comment but this box doesn't allow for the space I need to make my point. I will just say work on the front lines of a welfare program and you will quickly see the "entitlement" attitude.I would explain further but I only have 9 letters
However, Billie Kelpin, believing what you suggest in your last paragraph would be a difficult fiction for most to swallow, though I'm glad that you are able to. See nhmomof4's comment. That's the crux of the problem: honesty is all but gone in most.
Because we have parents who have no idea what they are doing and the children are raising the parents.
Because nowdays you cannot scold your children. You're expected to give them every damn thing they want and when they act out you cannot appropriately discipline them or it's abuse. And most parents fall into this category because everybody's working and nobody's home with their kids. So when they do have family time, the parents do everything they want for the kids to make up for lost time. My opinion is that one parent should always have to stay home at least part time. I realize the economy is one way but it's that way because we let it get this way. Everybody's got to work 50-80 hours a week so they can have the biggest house or nicest car on the block, to show off to people they don't even know, and the children of society are suffering. Humans need parental nurturing to flourish and it's a thing of the past, sadly.
My friends and I have talked about this quite a bit. I think it's a combination of things. We have a theorgy that social media and technology has played a role. For example, with technology young people are used to instant gratification and seem to apply that to every aspect of life. Wanting everything at their fingertips without waiting or putting time into it.
Another theory we have is that parents didn't want them to struggle or be as strict as their parents (grandparents and great-grandparents) so they have relaxed in that atmosphere. Parents trying to be their kids friends instead of their parents. Buying them phones, cars, paying for college doesn't help teach young people responsibility.
I was shocked when we setup life insurance when my husband and I were expecting our first child and the life insurance rep was calculating how much we would need. She added paying for college and grad school for my children without even asking me. I stopped her cold. Yes, I want my kids to continue their education, but mommy and daddy are not paying for it outright. Not to say I wouldn't help them when they get in a pinch, but I worked hard, got scholarships and paid my own way. I expect the same from my children.
Wow, very insightful! Good for you for not outright paying for college for your kids, too! Children must grow up to become independent adults and not expect "instant gratification", I agree! Parent-friends is another good point you make. Thanks!!
We grew up when we earned what we got.
No kid got a trophy just because he was on the team.
I don't know if we ever knew what entitlement was.
We shared what we had and gave to others who had less than we did.
Mind you my dad was in the Navy and made 6,000 dollars a year.
He had 3 daughters and then my mom.
We seemed to have enough to give if someone needed something.
Now all you have to do is stub your toe and you get money.
I was born with a spine defect. The dr. Made a mistake.
Now any child born with a disability is entitled not to thousands but millions of dollars.
I've had so many spine operations and I get bills I know I'm responsible for.
I've heard people say " I'll take everything I can get!"
I asked for a service dog and they said I wasn't entitled because I didn't use a wheelchair all the time, but I think if you fall a lot as I do and have plate in my skull then maybe I should be allowed a service dog.
It's hard when you fall and can't get up. But I'm not going to cry about it.
My friends complain about the me generation.
I think it's getting worse. My nephew got an iphone when he was 12. Then he broke it. Really a 12 year old doesn't need an IPhone.
I bought my first cell phone when I was 49 and I have not updated it yet.
Entitled isn't the same as earning something.
The 80's was the greed decade. I remember the movie with Michael Douglas. " Greed is Good"
Well I guess it started then.
I think I'd be ashamed to tell someone I was entitled to something just because I had a disability.
But a gorgeous yellow lab would really help.
Oh and I payed my way through college too.
I'm entitled to my diploma. I earned it.
But I still feel humbled if someone helps me.
Email me privately--I used to lead a 65-person service dog support group. I know a lot about the laws, which probably apply to you. You ARE entitled to a service dog if you can answer "yes" to one question: then I can help you, if a dog would help.
A thousand hugs to you, What you have said made my cry.
These days? Hardly. Society has always had this subset of people who have felt a right to judge others. I've very often wondered what is the cause of THIS curmudgeonly sense of entitled finger-wagging.
I had to laugh because you bring up an excellent point in clever language, stanwshura. By judging others' behaviors we are, ourselves, have felt superior enough to do the judging for some reason. Thanks for the reality check--it was much needed.
Lol. You're welcome - and nothing personal. It's just part of my "baggage"!
No hard feelings at all--no worries. I just feel sheepish that I hadn't looked in the mirror before posting a question about the question I was posting about. (That's illogical--you get my meaning, though.) No problem with baggage--we've all got it.
GMWilliams, you are always spot-on, too! :-).
Thank you everyone for this delightful discussion!
Poor parenting. Everyone wants to give their kids the world and do it without teaching them to value what they have.
I usually don't "blame the parents", but in this case I agree. I think the poor parenting comes trickling down from the zoo we had in the U.S. in the 1960s: sex, drugs, & rock-n-roll. (Not that the music is at fault.) Perhaps a damaged gene pool.
Because 95% of our world/environment is artifically created. In other words, if you look around, you'll notice that just about everything is man-made and specifically designed to suit our needs and make everything as easy as possible.
As a result, people in affluent countries no longer need to struggle to find/preserve/eat food or water.
They can bathe, wash their teeth, shave, use a toilet that whisks away all wastes, and keep their houses nice and clean. This hygiene makes everything appear perfect, a standard that is now demanded.
Teachers and parents are all designed to help children without demanding much reciprocating. Sure, there are chores and assignments, but usually those are meant for the child's own good anyway, right?
At every stage, people have life much much easier than was available even 150 years ago when there were basically no apartment complexes and no major cities.
Think about the old joke of the grandparents saying "Back in my day we had to [insert ridiculous hardship here].
We just don't have the same level of problems anymore. That's why the whole joke of first-world problems emerged in the first place. The stuff we complain about today is typically innane and not important for our survival or happiness at all.
I'll leave you with this video:
Why do you as a writer feel "entitled" to decide who is "deserving" of a higher quality of life? The mentality behind this question is simplistic, biased and pretentious.
I asked the question to get a discussion started about a topic that is often discussed in the US media and conversations. It was just a common question to bring out various viewpoints on the subject, which it clearly is. Apologies if it offended you.
I think you have succeeded in getting a discussion started, if after a year people are still commenting. Personally I see nothing of what Ms. Froehner is saying in either your question nor your attitude. You have been a perfect hostess, thanks
Thank you, darkland! I appreciate your comment. As always. :-)
In two words: "Poor Parenting". Most of our societal ills are a result of this.
Because nowadays people are spoiling their children--doing everything for them and giving them stuff. It seems like most high school graduates are opting not to go to college--high school graduates in TV series such as 90210 and Gossip Girl did not attend college (or they did and they didn't finish). Am I alone in thinking this?
Basically, the way I see it is that a lot of parents grew up in a household or a world where they couldn't get anything they wanted, and decided that when they had children, they'd give these children whatever they wanted, with hopes of making them happy than they were as children.
I also find it to be caused by the internet and social media's instant gratification - teaching people everywhere that they can do minimal work and get a reward.
I think anyone who has children or teenagers most likely has experienced this. My children seem to think that just because I am the parent I am to give them whatever they want just because "it is my job" I am the parent. Unfortunately children who are not corrected grow up to believe this as adults and for some reason grow up thinking it's the parents job to take care of them even as adults simply by the fact that they gave birth to them. They do feel entitled to have whatever they want and not work for it, and yes it is a parenting issue as they were never corrected in their youth. As I see this attitude in my kids and finding frustrating. I think to myself "the nerve" and yes I have wondered why they think this way. I figure I have spoiled them and said yes too often to their demands.In correcting this I am now saying no more often and inform them that NO, it is only my job to shelter and feed them until they are 18, anything else I do for them is simply out of love and kindness and not out of duty. I tried to emphasize this to them and teach them to be grateful for the things they get and not demand be demanding. One example of their feeling entitled even at a very young age: my four year-old says "mom can I have this cookie?" my 7 year-old says to him, "you don't have to ask her. You live here, this is your house. You can have whatever you want just take it!"
"What!" I said, no, "it is right for him to ask me, I bought it and I am the mom and you can't just have junk food all day!!"
Anyway, I agree there are many grown-ups who feel entitled and deserving but it all starts as children and I see it in my own. I think the answer in one word is SPOILED. We spoil.
Nothing crazy about you, crazymom! What a great post filled with personal experience--thanks for sharing your situation and the way in which you're addressing it. I think you're totally on track! Keep up the good work! You're a good Mom, I can tell!
I think technology has something to do with it. We get used to everything being in the palm of our hands and it rubs off on everything else in life.
People feel entitled because our schools only talk about what the government and other can do for them and little of what they owe this great country. Our government is based on what special interest and favorite victims can get from the public treasury. No longer do you earn objective grades. The curriculum is empowered to make you feel good in school though.
Because our kids are spoiled and we can't beat them anymore.
All this "awwww poor little johnny, here let me take care of your problem for you" is what's causing this.
When I was a boy we were outside playing from sun up to sun down, out fishing, hunting and playing in general.
We had toy guns. We had BB guns. We didn't have uptight over protective parents who monitored our every move. We were raised to take care of ourselves and our property. We learned to work and were taught that we had to work for what we wanted.
Not the kids these days, everything is handed to them and they're never truly disciplined. Go to a WalMart and watch the people for a while, you'll see it.
Parents have spoiled their children in this generation into believing they can have everything for nothing.
My husband is a teacher in a high school and this is most definitely true for teens and it's due to their upbringing. They see their parents acting this way so they reflect that. Any time a student fails in his class that student feels they didn't deserve to fail, but if you don't participate and do the work then you will fail. But since the no child left behind crap, parents have been allowed to push their kids forward in grades when they should of been head back and I think that contributes to this sense of entitlement as well. My husband sees this a lot some of his students feel that they deserve to pass and don't have to do anything in order to pass. The younger generation is in for a huge reality check when an if they attempt college or get a job, cause nothing is handed to you in a higher education or a job. It's appalling at how many young people and adults feel this sense of entitlement especially when they aren't putting in hard work.
Hi Laura! We live in a spoiled environment, most commercials that air on t.v. express the notion that we need to have this and we deserve that, yet if something horrible was to happen many self-centered people would not know what to do because they have never been in a humble situation like the Great Depression or anything that challenges there faith and stability. It's rather sad.
Some people feel that way because that is how they were brought up.
I think it comes from the way people are raised, when you have everything growing up and never know what hard times are you tend to think your owed a better life.
People that have it hard are usually not so entitled because they know what it is to struggle.
I definitely agree with Cheryl because I've been witness to it all. But I would like to add that technology, although it can be a wonderful learning tool, has taken away much of the reality of life, the core values and its meaning to newer generations. Our generation didn't want to deny our children anything they wanted like every new video game. We wanted to be the cool parent who was different than our parent was to us. As technology improved, the over abuse of texting, gaming, and being on the web with the addictive social media became a way of life. Instead of having an in-depth face to face conversation for emotional situations, so many have turned to finding fast answers on the web. This conditioning took away certain intricate emotions which gives humans insight. Technology with its instant gratification eliminated many emotional traits where we are slowly evolving into machines. In the past decades, teenagers would take time to sit and focus on issues in their lives. Most of the time they had a friend, parent, brother or sister to talk to. They may not have liked the other person's viewpoints but it was feedback to think about. The answers weren't based on popularity, how many LIKES they got, or THUMBS UP. It was based on people we knew in our community, home or environment. Fast answers from strangers on the web may seem like a good response but it's also empty without the physical touch, or the facial expressions. Our minds as humans pick up the smallest of details without us realizing it. It processes the information in order to make detailed smart decisions in life which we can analyze again and change later. Being on the web is a cold environment. People may be sincere but who really knows how they really are in their own reality? There isn't any way that any person or child can be fully satisfied the same way as talking with a caring friend. This new world became a fast society demanding fast answers for issues and if a person doesn't get their way they don't know how to deal with it. New generations are born into this world not knowing any other way of life. You can't know what you don't know. We needn't blame anyone but work to resolve it. We need to be disciplined and set limitations with technology. We need to spend more time in our personal lives being with people we care about. We need to show new generations how to deal with issues and enjoy in the beauty of life, with all its errors. It's healthy to be human.
They are told they are special snowflakes and should get everything they want.
Then they run into the real world and are shocked they don't get the 100K a year job, don't get the dates they wanted, told to start at the bottom and that's assuming the degree is worth anything.
Behavioral modification. They have been taught to be narcissistic through the social media, government, television and music. It is now all about them so now they are entitled and deserving of everything without contributing anything.
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