How long does it take to get over the breakup of a 5 year relationship?

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  1. Subhra Thakur profile image69
    Subhra Thakurposted 5 years ago

    Well according to my own experience and a survey by i don't know which group, it takes approximately 1.5 years to get over your ex girlfriend and in your case it might be altered by half a year, as you must have developed some sort of dependency on your ex, i hope it will help you

  2. cer1056 profile image35
    cer1056posted 5 years ago

    How long does it take to get over the breakup of a five year relationship?  It depends on you.

    As a Physicist and practitioner of EFT as a method of Energy Psychology,  the issue is really about how long it takes you to discharge the emotional energy you have accumulated related to your significant other.

    Many people are naturally very slow in releasing this negative emotion.
    They seem to love to dwell in their misery.

    As with everything in this Universe  - everything is about Energy!.
    Its a matter of discharging the emotional energy - is 1 day to long?
    1 hour?
    5 min?

    It depends on you.  By applying EFT - the Emotional Freedom Technique developed by Gary Craig,  you may apply the technique to discharge the Emotional Energy as fast as you decide.  Understand, this all is not to trivialize emotional bonding

    But, once the Emotion is discharged, go get on the horse and find a replacement if that's your desire.


    As she was your best friend too, you will need to discharge her as a love interest and as a Best Friend.  The Loss is great, but the suffering is worse.

    AN EFT facilitator can help you get the job done very quickly.

  3. Vvitta profile image83
    Vvittaposted 5 years ago

    Depends on who is the one who wanted to breakup! the 'breaker' will bounce back faster that the 'broken' who might never ever truly forget but will learn to live with the pain.

  4. profile image47
    MaggieJordanposted 5 years ago

    I was in for about 6.5 It took about a year to be out of my daily thought and I still think of that person, but I have moved on. That took about a year and half to be able to truly allow my emotions to move on. Good luck, shit aint easy... but doable.

    Also, I focused on ME! Who I was, who I wanted to be and thought I am going ot be the best version of me and EXACTLY who I want to be so when I meet the next guy they will know exactly what they are getting! And the next guy I really dated (not just the "distraction" dates or "why not, I dont have plans kind" of dates even if there were a few of them with the why not guy, I married!  Soo love yourself and your other will show in perfect timing. For real.

  5. hydee misiona profile image61
    hydee misionaposted 5 years ago

    It really depends on how you deal with it, sometimes it is hard to move on and over come with it but actually getting over with long time relationship is just a second or a minute only if you love yourself, why? because if you love yourself you won't allow aches stay long you always find ways to make yourself happy.

  6. profile image50
    Eris Morellaposted 5 years ago

    In my experience, there is no telling how long the recovery process of a long term relationship is. Some will get over it in a week, others could take months, maybe years. But in all honesty, it really depends on how the person deals with it and how they tend to move on and go forward. Good luck and I wish you the best.

  7. Gabryela profile image57
    Gabryelaposted 5 years ago

    Can a person ever forget his or her own name? I think that is how it is when you try to forget someone who has been important. It is impossible to forget them. But you know what, when people said time heals - they were absolutely not lying. There will be moments when you will miss her and hope to have her again but those moments will go and may come back again but never allow it to stop you from finding your own happiness.

  8. chaitanyasaivb profile image71
    chaitanyasaivbposted 5 years ago

    Sometimes, It may not take even a second, to breakup with our best friend. But, It depends upon the situations, and the hard things, that made you to take a decision like this.

       Basically, Friends never try to break their relationship, with their best friends. But, If a thought comes from their mind to breakup, then, it is just due to the bad experiences they have been facing in that relationship.

  9. Rich11 profile image81
    Rich11posted 5 years ago

    If its your fault then never...or if the fault is hers then until you met someone greater because time can be precious in a relationship but person is priceless....

  10. livewirez profile image71
    livewirezposted 5 years ago

    For me I think it depends on the reason of your breakup... If the reason of your breakup is because of third party then definitely it will be very painful and would time to get over. But if the reason of your breakup is because you two realized that you are not meant for each other then it would be easy to get over with.

  11. Elliott Shifman L profile image59
    Elliott Shifman Lposted 5 years ago

    It takes as little or as long as you want it to take. If you broke up with them then it should take no time to do so. Otherwise there's a 6 month waiting period just to be on the safe side.

  12. Sara Jofre profile image78
    Sara Jofreposted 4 years ago

    I think it depends of the state of that relationship by the end of it, and if you are the one who ended it or the one who was left...

    people are proud, being left hurts our pride and self-esteem and that will make the "cure" to take longer, even if you weren't in love anymore.

    But sometimes relationships just end, in a friendly way. It's always hard because a part of our future ended, our imagined future... we took a different path, but if it is friendly people will just move on...

  13. IRecommendit profile image60
    IRecommenditposted 4 years ago

    About a year . Listen to this song it will help you

  14. cam8510 profile image92
    cam8510posted 4 years ago

    One more year and you will have one year for every year you were together.  Do you think that might be enough?  Then you could reward someone with a "Best Answer" and put this thread to rest.

  15. Khalid Farhan profile image61
    Khalid Farhanposted 4 years ago

    It actually takes a lot of time and especially as she was your best friend, it will take more time than usual.
    I am nobody to suggest but even then i will suggest you to get busy in other activities, try to do things that you like and try to be normal in life. I know forgetting is something that can only be found in movies. You don't have to forget her. Just understand that life is like this and you need to admit it.
    That is it.

  16. Steve Tyler profile image54
    Steve Tylerposted 4 years ago

    i guess 1 months...becoz it is not easy to breakup with that girl who is with u from 5 year..but still it will take long time.

  17. advisor4qb profile image75
    advisor4qbposted 4 years ago

    It depends on how invested you were in the relationship, and how it ended.  If the breakup was your fault, you tend to beat yourself up over what happened.  If you had a hand in causing the relationship to end and you got no closure, it will also take longer. 

    I would say that if you were blindsided by the breakup, had no hand in the demise of the relationship and have forgiven her and removed everything that will be a constant reminder, approximately one year, at most.

    It helps to cut soul ties, also known as psychic cords, through the bible studies you can google online.  It involves forgiving the other person, forgiving yourself, praying for forgiveness and removing all tokens of that relationship (ie love gifts).

    This too, shall pass.

  18. Jonathan Appling profile image58
    Jonathan Applingposted 4 years ago

    I know the feeling of this pain you bear. Not knowing ... is the worst feeling to be unable to understand what went wrong and non recoverable to learn from the past. People are contentious in relationships because they desire it to work for the best. i also came to understand that ( the problem may be something they have wrong with their own self ) Until people desire to change , they will be their own worst enemy.
    The questions of introspection are : WHO is the people involved for the best relationship in my life ? WHAT was the relationships primary focus and desired effect on my life? WHY did I desire to establish the relationship and end it ? WHEN did I fulfill and not fulfill the relationship as they desired of me ? HOW do I recover from bad news, unforeseen circumstances , negative emotions and replace them with positive influences to correct the situation which caused my relationship to fall apart? WHERE is my next challenge and LOVE OF MY LIFE?

  19. Jaggedfrost profile image74
    Jaggedfrostposted 4 years ago

    I believe that this problem has two dude issues that need to be addressed. First, you are not the same person you were when you started the five long years. You need to know who you are now, and whether you are still okay with that person. The second issue, is that whether you like it or not, the other party to the relationship filled a place in your life. The place is still there. This being said, you need to know what parts of the other person are still behind, like pulling up a plant you need to study the whole left behind. You may decide to covered up with dirt and plant a tree there instead. Or you may decide to replace the previous plant with a new one. Whatever you decide, give yourself time to become aware of the hole okay with the hole and to study the consequences of filling it again if that's what you choose to do. You will find if you do this conscientiously, the pain will ease and the lessons from the relationship will rise to the surface and give you a starting place for rebirth.

  20. profile image0
    ahorsebackposted 4 years ago

    Dean , It can take forever , it can take a month ,   Once forty years ago I actually knew a woman for a few short weeks , but I would have died  after a few decades  of loving her and I knew it then , except she didn't .  I still think of her quite a bit  and always will .   Good luck and be fair with yourself  and her .

  21. one2get2no profile image81
    one2get2noposted 4 years ago

    How long is a piece of string? It depends on how much you loved her.

  22. shihara marcar profile image60
    shihara marcarposted 4 years ago

    Depends on how much you loved her. If she was your bestfriend then I suppose you guys must've been really close. It'll take you a while to get over her. But its going to be difficult to move on.

  23. clippingpath51 profile image61
    clippingpath51posted 4 years ago

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    I know you use same good way for your blog. so you are right. have same good way you can see it..clippingpathexperienced

  24. ponipony profile image57
    poniponyposted 4 years ago

    My first experience of love was a relationship that lasted a year and a half , four years since splitting up and I am totally fine and have been since the beginning of 2013 , the best thing to do is create space between you and your ex, spend time with friends and don't rush into something else until your ready . youll always remember it but sometimes these things happen take it as a learning experience smile

  25. rashblog profile image60
    rashblogposted 4 years ago

    Practically I don't have this experience..but I can guess it can be never get over. We may just can try to get over it find someone else or do some else. Just to move on the life. But I feel like it so difficult for sure!!

  26. pstraubie48 profile image83
    pstraubie48posted 4 years ago

    You know the answer to that depends...on the individual. After five years there were still times that I still longed for my ex even though I had a new precious man in my life.
    (This was many many years ago now)
    I am not quite sure when the longing stopped but there did come a time when I no longer wished for the ache to go away; it was just gone.
    I still thought of him but no longer was missing him as part of my life. He was still the father of my child so we still had contact but the passion and deep love I had for him was no longer present. the love I feel for him even today is only as a friend I NEVER thought I would get to that but about my sixth year of being divorced I was free from thoughts of hoping to reunite. that had been my biggest stumbling block even though he had strayed and I knew that I would never completely trust him again. My heart wanted to forget that but my mind knew better. Wishing for you that you can move on.  Angels are on the way to you this evening. ps

  27. Zada Young profile image60
    Zada Youngposted 4 years ago

    I had a relationship that lasted five years as well. He was my best friend. In a way that made it harder, but it also made it easier. It was hard because obviously I was losing my best friend. But it was easy because a few years into the relationship we slowly became just friends. We no longer went on dates, we barely even held hands. After the five years we decided to move on. We thought it would be best if we saw other people. Even though we both had decided to remain friends afterwards, it was hard to do. After we both had another partner, we stopped hanging out, we stopped talking and it was easier to get over the five years. Just remember the memories you used to have. Be grateful you have the memories, but you need to find someone else. Someone who will treat you better. It will take some time, but eventually you will get over your ex.

  28. Missy Heartin profile image60
    Missy Heartinposted 4 years ago

    Until you can't remember what they smell like. This is for good or bad. When you no longer remember what they smell like you are over them.

  29. Dressage Husband profile image73
    Dressage Husbandposted 4 years ago

    It will take as long as it needs to. It is just like asking how long is a piece of string the answer can be from 1 minute to forever. You decide if you want it to no longer affect you or if you need to mourn the loss some more. Just do not make the mistake of letting it put you off from other relationships and do not let it affect your work. These are the main things, but if asked be open and admit you are getting over the end of a relationship if the new person is right for you they will understand and it it make them see you in a more positive light as they will understand that you are hurting inside.

    It has them thinking you would feel the same if you lost them too. So it is not as bad as you may feel right now.

  30. Odhiambo Ouma Sr profile image57
    Odhiambo Ouma Srposted 4 years ago

    That depends on the circumstances under which the breakup occurred, and the people involved. There are those who may never get over it while for others, it happens within days

  31. Marcy Goodfleisch profile image93
    Marcy Goodfleischposted 4 years ago

    I've heard it takes two years for every year the relationship lasted. This is a scary number.  I think it might depend on whether the relationship was dying down during part of the time, or other factors.  At any rate, people should not beat themselves up because they're still suffering, even after a few years.

  32. profile image0
    MrDanielAbramposted 4 years ago

    It depends on the person. Be sure to occupy your mind with other things and exercise.

  33. Chriswillman90 profile image97
    Chriswillman90posted 4 years ago

    For me there's no definite range of time because it's all subjective. Someone could move on in a day, a week, month, or perhaps even never. I never had to deal with that as I'm currently in a relationship, which funny enough is now approaching 5 years so fingers crossed.

    You would have to ask yourself how much you love the person, how much they meant to you, and how will your life be without them. It's a complicated issue, but this question will remain open-ended.

  34. Nationette profile image75
    Nationetteposted 4 years ago

    long enough to remember who you are, what you like to do on your own, and the things you like about yourself. I have a decent hub about getting back to life after a break up, I've had two long term relationships and they are difficult to bounce back from- I'm currently solidly single as a result. If you can look in the mirror say you tried your hardest and its still not working out, no matter how bad your heart hurts right now, it wasn't meant to be and now you are free.
    Take comfort in that knowledge that you did what you could, and you can wish the best for that person in their life, but they aren't the one. It sucks, but it will be okay.  You have opened up your life for fate to put the right person in your path in the future.

  35. Jared Hagan profile image56
    Jared Haganposted 4 years ago

    Talk. I went through a break up recently and it wasn't until I started talking to the people that were closest to me that I felt happy again. People that honestly care about you will always be willing to talk about things with you. This always helps no matter the situation. I noticed that this was initially posted 4 years ago but I hope this helps others going through the same problems.

  36. Samuel Barrett profile image86
    Samuel Barrettposted 4 years ago

    It took me about a year, but it was a long time coming. If it was a decent relationship I would think about 2 years or so.

  37. neilmagals0305 profile image60
    neilmagals0305posted 4 years ago

    Hi friend. You know what, heartbreak is one of the most painful feeling that a person will experience. For me, there is no such word as "moving on" or "move on", because it's an acceptance that you are not with him or her anymore. I mean, it's a matter of acceptance, but sometimes, it's hard to let go of the pain.

  38. writerjrose profile image80
    writerjroseposted 4 years ago

    This really does depend on the individual and the couple. I was once in a 5 year relationship, and during that time, I truly believed that we loved one another. I thought I would miss him dearly if we ever broke up.

    Well, that day came. I was upset for maybe 1 day and had a moment of weakness a few weeks later when I started missing him again and thought us breaking up might have been a mistake, but those were very brief moments of weakness.

    After that I realized that I never really loved him, I thought I did at the time, but if I truly loved him I would not have been able to get over him so 'quickly' and be completely good with it.

    This realization also made itself more apparent after meeting the man in my life right now, it wasn't until him that I realized what love is, and I know I would not be able to get over him if anything were to happen.

    When you really love someone and have a deep connection with them, I don't think you'll ever really be able to get over the breakup, you would end up just moving on with life simply because you have to, life doesn't wait for anyone.

  39. Orumahsteven profile image55
    Orumahstevenposted 4 years ago

    It can take a life time, a day, a month, a year etc. It all depends on the person involved and the strength of the relationship as well as the will power to move on. Moving on can be easy when a better person is available or a decision is made. We are actually trapped in love when we choose to, it is all the thing of the mind., we can control the mind

  40. Insightful Tiger profile image73
    Insightful Tigerposted 4 years ago

    I am married with kids and happy. However, I still think of my ex sometimes. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to be with him. I understand the reasons for our break up. I believe they were good reasons. I just remember that we were best friends for 5 years and we had many goals and plans and when something like that falls through you may feel regret over things done or said for the rest of your life. It doesn't mean you are not ready to move forward. I wish him the best and for me as well smile

  41. imskp profile image60
    imskpposted 4 years ago

    See the best is to be honest . If the couple is not having a good tuning and you are sure that you cannot stand your partner , tell them directly. If you don't then you will eventually hurt them indirectly creating more problems in your life as well as of your partner.

  42. Ben716 profile image91
    Ben716posted 4 years ago

    I had a relationship with a lady for 3 years. It took me six months to get over the break up. For a 5 year relationship, it will take you close to a year. But at times you will have some  'think-about-her' when something ignites that reminder as it always does for more.

  43. Myheadiscrazy profile image60
    Myheadiscrazyposted 4 years ago

    That all depends on you.. Was is that passion that love that felt so good your stomach hurt? If not it will be hard but just know that one day you will find the true love that you deserve...

  44. profile image59
    peter565posted 4 years ago

    When you have to put a second mortgage on your house just to pay for alimony.

  45. Zodiacimmortal profile image31
    Zodiacimmortalposted 4 years ago

    I think there's a rule that goes one month for every year (or was it like a few months) well  something like that, but that's B.S.

    Everyone is different so regardless of what anyone else tells you you cannot really rely on the answer (not even mine!)

    I will tell you one thing from experience though. I had a major crush on someone, I was on my way to making it known to them (if they couldn't tell already) when I found out that they recently go engaged, My heart was broken, it took me I thin it was 6 or 7 months to get over it. I was quite depressed. I found out someone was interested in me, only to find out they were already married! (& those weren't anything other than 'friend' type relationships.)

    I dated someone for awhile I met him in I thin it was 94 (summer) and though we lost touch, I still think about him. So you may not FULLY ever get over it.
    It depends if this was a first love type relationship and so many other factors go into it.

    Good Luck on a speedy 'recovery'

  46. profile image59
    RealChrisGeeposted 4 years ago

    to be honest, it's a vast amount of answers to that question! some people can get over real fast especially if they was involved with someone else at the same time! but, it really depends on what type of relation you and your partner had. the intimacy you and your partner showed each other, the affection you and your partner showed one another! if it was a mutual breakup, then im hoping it would be not that long for either of you to be stuck on one another!

  47. Ronyae profile image72
    Ronyaeposted 4 years ago

    It can range from anywhere between one second, and one lifetime...
    Of course the choice is yours, and yours alone - no specific standard can be set on personal emotions and psyche.
    What I can offer is an opinion on developing the time process:
    -Accept the loss, acknowledge the hurt, and assess the strategy to move on - without losing respected love/friendship, and being cordial
    -stop looking into the past, it only hinders the moving on process
    -keep moving and looking forward, without looking to hold grudges from the past
    -keep the memories in a healthy place: your heart (metaphor)

    I wish you the best in strong will, and productive decisions Dean!

  48. chuckandus6 profile image78
    chuckandus6posted 4 years ago

    I don't think you ever really forget someone that you have had a lasting relationship with. I think it just takes something pretty powerful like true love to get rid of the longing for that person.

  49. sandeep15r profile image78
    sandeep15rposted 4 years ago

    Well, it depends on the support system around you, and your will to overcome it. This may happen in 3 months or 3 years.

  50. SixSymbol profile image60
    SixSymbolposted 4 years ago

    They say it takes half the time of the length of the relationship to get over someone.  So, about 2.5 years.  Everyone is different of course and each situation has determining factors that will lengthen or shorten that healing period.  There can be an amazing love and perhaps it was ended by one partner's death, that love will live on forever.  While another may part ways due to a horrendous infidelity, in which case, healing may not take as long to get over the love lost...only now there will be pain and mistrust to overcome.  Love is indeterminable and uncalculable, but I also believe it is a choice.  Just as you wake up each morning choosing to live the best day of your existence, you can choose to love or let go of love.  Each feat is equally as difficult as the next.  To lose a best friend and lover...all I can say is that if it was meant to be then she will come back.  If not, there is another love for you, if not another person, love yourself and that is what we should all strive for ultimately.


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