How long does it take to get over the breakup of a 5 year relationship?

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  1. kknde profile image74
    kkndeposted 6 years ago

    As I know the specialist say at leas one year. In my opinion, the best way to get over, and to go in the next relation with someone without hurting yourself it is better to understand what went wrong in last relation and what went good, to stay a little by yourself to heal, to clear your mind and then to start a new relation. Of course, new girlfriend might arise in this time, but it is better to give time to you, to prepare yourself.

  2. Wacky Mummy profile image62
    Wacky Mummyposted 6 years ago

    As long as it takes. You need time to grieve and heal.

  3. rohanfelix profile image90
    rohanfelixposted 6 years ago

    I am sure it will take a long time. It must be very difficult for you, but you could reach out and speak to people... There are a lot of hurting people. Mutual help...

  4. Suzanne Day profile image93
    Suzanne Dayposted 6 years ago

    About 3-4 years. It won't feel like it. You'll be over it by 1 year with conscious thinking, but the subconscious bits take 3-4 years.

  5. profile image51
    angeluchihaposted 6 years ago

    I am psychologist  even though I am only 15! In psychology it takes 17 months to come over you ex and the someone you truly loved!

  6. Hezekiah profile image87
    Hezekiahposted 6 years ago

    I think that all depends on how much the relationship meant to you. If your relationship gradually fizzled away then I guess you could get over the break up within days. If your relationship was deep until the end then it may take a longer time. Also depends on the individual.

  7. edhan profile image50
    edhanposted 5 years ago

    I believe there is no specific length of time but whether or not you can let go and more on. When a relationship has ended, it is time to let go since there is no more affinity between 2 persons. I always believe there is a right person out there waiting but you have yet to find yours.

  8. profile image50
    mikeyrobertsposted 5 years ago

    I feel for you my friend. Its not a nice feeling.
    Like others have said, it can vary the amount of time it takes from one person to the next. However, if she was the love of your life, you may never get over it deep down.
    Even in 10 years time, there may be something that reminds you of your ex and you will still feel for her!
    Try to think of the great times you had together and treassure the memories. Chances are, she feels more or less the same way as you do!

    Chin up mate, Good luck.

  9. Attikos profile image74
    Attikosposted 5 years ago

    When your dog dies, you are ill with grief. The only cure is another dog.

    When your girl leaves, you are ill with grief. The only cure is another girl.

    Go out, dance, talk. See what happens. Unless you have three eyes, a hundred thousand in debt, and a crippling speech impediment, you are what is usually described as "a man on the rebound." More than one girl eager to brighten your days will want to catch you, and she (or they, if you want and are lucky) can make the pain go away.

    Stop moping. Get out of that door and let the good times roll.

  10. mikentosh profile image58
    mikentoshposted 5 years ago

    It takes as long as it takes.  I mean to say 289 days and you'll be all better would work against you.  My advice would be get back into you. What are you into?  Were there things you wanted to try but because of her you weren't able to.  Treat yourself, go do these things.  Have fun, stay positive, and don't  try to rush into the next relationship. 
    Most of my friends that are in healthy relationships say they meet their partner. When they stopped looking.   Keep your head up .

  11. Lilanie Ang profile image58
    Lilanie Angposted 5 years ago

    Getting over a break-up does not depend on the years spent together. No matter how long or short the time you have with your ex-relationship but what matters most is how strong the impact of that relationship have gotten into you. Therefore, no definite answer that will tell how long it will take. But surely, you can get over with that "in Gods time".

  12. Sadiq Busuri profile image55
    Sadiq Busuriposted 5 years ago

    Damn, I don't think there is any set time and its different from person to person.

  13. manatita44 profile image83
    manatita44posted 5 years ago

    I like Zeron 87's answer, and so I will use a couple of his statements here. They are full of meaning.
    "the best way to move on is to replace the negative memories created from the break-up with positive ones."

    "you guys broke-up for a reason, right?)"

    Yes, train the conscious mind to be positive. Feel that you are the Master of your own destiny and that even though you sometimes listen, ultimately the decision-making comes from you. Feel that the speed of which you progress also comes from you.

    For statement number two, look for the reason, otherwise the rest of Zeron 87's advice may not help you. Where ever you go or whatever you do, you will take your mind with you. Work on the reason why things fail.

    Ultimately the Soul is on a quest for happiness which humans cannot give, and while there is no hard and fast rule, some relationships can be stifling and affect individual growth.I know one man who is a car -racing driver and the girl likes to sing. They have broken up twice, I believe. But each time he was more focused and she was also able to grow in and through her musical talent.

    A lot ultimately depends on the experience that the Soul needs. This you will know only through prayer, selfless service, meditation and reflection by listening to the Inner Voice. It gets louder with practise. Us humans can only inspire you so far. Dive deep within and find your own answers. It is different for each of us.
    Finally, watch the attachments/desires/cravings. This is a large part of many problems. Remember that all things are perishable or impermanent. God speed!!

  14. luvtoowrite profile image40
    luvtoowriteposted 5 years ago

    The more emotionally you put into a relationship, the longer it will take to recover after a breakup. Someone once told me three months, but if I can recall from psych class, it was one month recovery time for each year. Five years = five months. Really though, I believe it just depends on the person.

  15. old albion profile image66
    old albionposted 5 years ago

    You will get over it in time, it depends on the individual. You do however make one telling point, she was your best friend. Accept that you will never forget her, who was at fault I don't know, you might be able to forgive but you will never forget. It's so easy to say 'find someone else' you will in time, but allow yourself to get over it. Only you know how you feel.
    Best wishes.

  16. Globetrekkermel profile image70
    Globetrekkermelposted 5 years ago

    You never get over someone. Personal experience has taught me that. You may not see or talk to that someone for years but you never really forget him or her. You will eventually be at peace with yourself and move on but the connection will always be there and you will still miss her/him  ,remember her and still wish you will one day see her.

  17. cebutouristspot profile image69
    cebutouristspotposted 5 years ago

    It depends on a lot of factor.

    Factors like how did you break up ? Was it mutual ? Did someone cheat ? Did someone feel trap in a relationship ? (if this is the case the person that feel trap can get over the relationship as early as the hour of the break up smile)

    The only thing you should do is avoid dating during this stage

  18. Laura Schneider profile image92
    Laura Schneiderposted 5 years ago

    It varies totally from person to person and relationship to relationship. You can't put a timeframe on this mental change process. I can tell you it's hard, though. Even harder if you felt betrayed, in my experience (and I don't mean "betrayed" to include only "cheating" on you--betrayed in any way).

    Sorry you're going through all of this. Sorry for her, too. Sounds like you have a lot of learning to do before your next relationship. Maybe consider relationship counseling by yourself--to learn how to be in a relationship that's healthy, successful, and long-lasting. That might help.


  19. profile image0
    Shelly Elliottposted 5 years ago

    Move on when the right one comes, you battle together. Be brave and no one can tell you how long you need to take to learn to truly love yourself.

  20. profile image51
    MCphotographyposted 5 years ago

    It took me 2 years after a 10-year marriage.  Don't rush it... it takes time.

  21. cortknee777 profile image60
    cortknee777posted 5 years ago

    I know I'myoung and everythin but honestly. Kmartel is right there is no way to put a time frame on this. Every person has there own time limit and sometimes it may never come . I was in a five year relationship with a guy who treated me nicely but we were at loss of words to each other. He broke up with me shortly after and it took me six months because i've realized maybe its not me or him with the problems. Maybe its just we weren't meant for each other and someday you'll find the one that is . But i've realized in order to love someone, I had to love myself first. So as time passes, make emands with your innerself before you start another relationship because it'll be much better in the long run.

  22. dailytop10 profile image88
    dailytop10posted 5 years ago

    Depends on why you guys broke up. For me, it's easier to get over a relationship broken because of a third party. The pain will make it easier for you to accept that your partner is not worthy of your love. Well, it's 5 long years so don't expect it to be easy especially if you have been living together for quite some time. I suggest you engage in social activities and things you haven't done for the last 5 years because of your commitment to the relationship. It worked like a charm for me when my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me for another guy. I totally moved on after almost 2 months. Your relationship may have died but you don't have to die with it. Live on and good luck my friend!

  23. profile image49
    ski reedposted 5 years ago

    You never truly get over it but you move on to a brighter future and that might take a while. Maybe a year

  24. profile image0
    allancolomboposted 5 years ago

    They say it takes half the time of your exposure until you find the wherewithal to move on to another.  I think that people who develop meaningful, intense relationships on the basis of "can I live with this person for the rest of my life" may take longer.  Some may take no time at all, but it's those who probably weren't looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship in the first place. I was married for 18 years and after my divorce in 1997, it took me every bit of 10 more to move on. I wish you the best my friend.

  25. sassypiehole profile image72
    sassypieholeposted 5 years ago

    I was going to say "three minutes," then I saw the last part... So now I'd have to say "as long as it takes." You cannot put your heart on a time clock, but you can put yourself in an "all about me" phase and focus on that for a while. My advice: Get busy and enjoy living. Do things you love and be true to yourself. If it's meant to be, it will be.

    Or you COULD take my mother's advice: "Another bus comes every fifteen minutes, just hop on the next one!" ;-)

  26. Neeraj Konda profile image52
    Neeraj Kondaposted 5 years ago

    Relationships- A necessity in every humans life.
    hi dean,actually it happens like in many of relationships,breaking up and breaking up does not mean its all over it can also mean that the time had come for both of you who cannot take the relationship to next means none of you are interested to break your sweet heart again but remain as sweetest stranger.
    And as you said she is also your best friend I know we share everything and anything with our best friend and she is known to you for more than 5 years it is really hard to forget her who knows every minute detail of yours.but as the saying goes everything happens for a reason- take it as a good reason and moveon who knows what is in store for you in the coming days.concentrate on other things like career,family and try to enjoy your life.Its hard in the beginning but you can surely get over her.all the best buddy.hope all goes well

  27. Penny G profile image66
    Penny Gposted 5 years ago

    Until you replace her and move on. Oh sure you'll think about her but nothing like a new one to help you get past it.

  28. itknol profile image78
    itknolposted 5 years ago

    Wow, that's a tough question. Depending on the depth of your relationship (no matter she was your best friend) I'd say anywhere between 1-15 years smile

    It's up to you really - first of all, focus on spending time with other people. It is scientifically proven that the only actual stress reliever is, to cite: 'positive social interactions'.

    Also, if you lived together and she moved out - move out as well. Start fresh. And brace yourself - depression hits hardest early in the morning and lately in the evening. Keep yourself occupied, get a hobby, get a second job even.

    When you are depressed above average (as I believe your case will be) your organism will increase production of lead. I forgot the name of the big names in classical music, but one of them has died from depression - high levels of lead in his blood.

    Anyway, to conclude - get ready, it will be hard, just keep yourself focused on anything but her. Go outdoors, don't forget to work out daily or at least have a walk, keep yourself occupied at all times and most important of all - positive social interactions!

    Good luck.

    p.s. Last week I had my girlfriend done with and she moved out of the apartment. So far, this is my recipe and I dare say it works like a charm. By the way, don't forget to make sure you won't (can't) get in touch with her again. Even when drunk.

  29. be grateful profile image61
    be gratefulposted 5 years ago

    If the relationship was deeply committed, or you really "loved" that person, felt a instinctive passion for them...expect around 2 years.  If you have children with may never fully "get over it".

  30. SoundNFury profile image82
    SoundNFuryposted 5 years ago

    It all depends on the nature of the relationship and how well-suited you are to moving on without that relationship in your life.  Not some magic formula to determine the length of time.  But if you stay strong, I say you can move on immediately!

  31. Venkatachari M profile image48
    Venkatachari Mposted 5 years ago

    I would like to ask why at all break up? Can't you go along without it? Can't you both understand each other and makeup? You loved each other and came into relationship. You should try to understand each other's likes and dislikes and adjust yourself by give and take policy. Both of you come to terms and keep adjusted. Why think of getting separated? Is it not possible to adjust for your beloved's sake?

  32. profile image51
    thenameisZeldaposted 5 years ago

    That is a great question. I was with my ex husband for five years. Together for two and a half, married for two and a half. Getting over him wasn't an easy task. It actually took me the better part of a year. His constant lying is what finally pushed me over the edge. Seriously. Just a ton of lying. I finally got fed up and told him enough was enough. I deserve better than that. I haven't looked back since. There are days I really want to talk to him or turn to him to tell him something, but I just remind myself how really awful he was to me and then I'm suddenly good. No desire to talk to him at all. I blocked him on every site, deleted his numbers, blocked his three Kik accounts, and set his emails to instantly delete. It helps.

  33. Filmistan profile image58
    Filmistanposted 5 years ago

    This is very sad moment for every one who breakup with any one and they are lived together uptown 5 year , if both are getting confusion then it takes few seconds .

  34. profile image55
    ultimatecrowdfundposted 5 years ago

    The key is to take it one day at a time. Days will feel extremely long at first. As each day goes by, you will hurt a little bit less. This time can be used to find yourself again. You have to find out who you are as a person and learn how to love yourself again. Explore who you really are and who you want to be. Focus on other things that make you happy. As you learn to love yourself you will start attracting others into your life to share great moments.

  35. KenDeanAgudo profile image83
    KenDeanAgudoposted 5 years ago

    It's pretty hard to say how long but it would be better if how can you get over of those painful memories. Those memories are the one that keep on hurting us, the moments you have shared are hard to forget.

    Try to do this things, this would be a brief answers:

    1. Avoid listening to love songs
    2. Get busy
    3. Open your heart to others
    4. Accept that she's gone
    5. Forgive all her, it will makes you feel better
    6. Hangout with your friends.

    Maybe it will take 1-3 years but after that you will get used to it.

    1. Venkatachari M profile image48
      Venkatachari Mposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Very good advice. Avoid listening to songs both romantic and tragic mood ones. Get yourself very busy and spend with friends.

  36. profile image55
    imran-1234posted 5 years ago

       It tAKES only few seconds,it depends on the person anger.

  37. lostohanababy profile image54
    lostohanababyposted 5 years ago

    Hi, Dean Keaton, sometimes 'breaking' up can take a long time.  It depends on how much you love someone.  The years into a relationship can make it difficult 'emotionally' to forget the many hours of time spent with that person.  And the remembering of both the 'sweet, happy times' and the 'sad, uncomfortable times'..That may have lead up 'breaking up'.   What's in your heart?  If its not time yet to move on, then be alone for ahile.  Get caught up on some work or take a trip for a week or two.  Deal with making new changes for yourself.  Keep 'positive' !

    1. Venkatachari M profile image48
      Venkatachari Mposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Why should one consider breaking up? Can't you mend up things and be bonded for ever? Breaking up is very easy. But tying relationships is most hard one. Once you breakup, you may keep on breaking relations as every relationship involves adjustment.

  38. profile image0
    Mother Birdposted 5 years ago

    Somedays, you won't get over it. Other days, you'll feel free and alive. You'll always hold a special place in your heart for that person, because you knew them for so long. After a while, they become a part of you. You learn their likes, their dislikes, their nicknames, their friends, family, favorite colors, favorite food, etc. You invest so much time into one person, you become attached; there's no getting over that. At least not in my opinion. Honestly, I don't think we ever want to "get over it" I don't think there is a good way to "get over it." Instead, we pick up the pieces, brush off our shoulders, remember that we still have a purpose and we still have so much love to give, and we move on.

  39. padmendra profile image44
    padmendraposted 5 years ago

    Everyone has his own mental strength to recover from a painful episode of life. However, people who go through these kind of unbearable moments do not try to heal their wounds and look back that makes them sad.  As long as they remain isolated and do not mix up with friends and people around, it will be difficult for them to get over the 05 year long relationship.

    The best advice for them is to involve themselves in new kind of activities like going for movies and have  fun with their colleagues and friends. They can also change the place for a short time or make a fresh relationship to start a new life. .

  40. SatendraSaini profile image51
    SatendraSainiposted 5 years ago

    Actually it is quite difficult say that how long it will take because it depends on your thoughts and thinking.  You may break it up within seconds or it may be survive till your life.
    Darrell Roberts says

    I feel for you my friend, that must hurt.

    The length of time that it would take to move forward depends on you. Dwelling on the relationship and getting depressed will lengthen the process. Understanding that 1. Not everything is in our control, 2. People and relationships change over time is very important to moving forward.

  41. Harlekina profile image59
    Harlekinaposted 5 years ago

    First, it is very important to understand what is relationship: It is biological and chemical process. Better to explain like this: When you are attracted with any person some chemical reaction start in our body and the attachment to this person is stronger if the quantity of hormone serotonin and endorphin are larger. That is why we want to be with that person, because those hormones are like a drug and they are forcing us for more. On the other side, if we are not close any more with that person who is chemical initiator in our body, the missing of those hormones start to suppress us and hurts us...that is why we said that we suffer. But the solution for this problem is very simple: find some things or doing something which will you make happy and you like to do and it will provide you the same quantity of those hormones: like riding a bike, swimming, gardening, have a pet, watching TV, play games, go to parties, or anything else which gives you also a pleasure. For that reason some people are eating ice-cream or chocolate. The second thing is to remove all things which remind you on that relationship or not to go on places where you went together. That will prevent you to think about it and by the time your body will not react on that person and make any chemical reaction, so there were no feelings and no hurts. Make your mind occupied all the time with some other things and the problem will be solved very easily and in short time.

  42. alkanarula profile image61
    alkanarulaposted 5 years ago

    There's no time limit as such and It varies from person to person . ..and capacity to deal with such situations.  I know it hurts but the name of the game is "Abandon the past and move on"  that's what life is all about !

  43. profile image51
    Mona Kposted 5 years ago

    First find out why it happen ? There might be chance to patch up.

  44. BizGenGirl profile image87
    BizGenGirlposted 5 years ago

    Still licking your wounds from a breakup? Here is some helpful info about how long it can take to get over your last great love... read more

  45. tom yam profile image61
    tom yamposted 5 years ago

    I suppose it all depends on the reasons behind the break up. If it's because of infidelity on her part then it would take me about 5 minutes. But we are all put together differently and some people will take a long time to get back on track whatever the circumstances.

  46. Monsterwilliams profile image59
    Monsterwilliamsposted 5 years ago

    find something do for the meantime get hobby to take your mind off of her okay ...

  47. EtherInfomat profile image59
    EtherInfomatposted 5 years ago

    A month or two, it just matter how long until you put it behind you.

  48. profile image0
    Deborah Sextonposted 5 years ago

    Everyone is different, so it's up to you.

  49. profile image49
    BoomBoomBabyposted 5 years ago

    You never get over it if you were truly in love.

  50. Nicole Toni profile image58
    Nicole Toniposted 5 years ago

    I feel like way to long ..

    I dont know if you ever completely get over it. You just learn to live with it. When you meet someone else it's a lot easier to forget about the past.


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