How long does it take to get over the breakup of a 5 year relationship?

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  1. profile image56
    bestsolarlightsposted 4 years ago

    I've had a similar experience recently, although the breakup came first, and the tearing apart of our close friendship (that he caused, sort of like a breakup) came 5 years later.

    Time isn't the factor you want to ask about - it's your new experiences. You can sit in your bedroom for 10 years and wallow over how much you miss her, and that won't help anything. If you get out, try new things, date new people, hang out with friends, start a new hobby, exercise, do things that will replace your old memories with new ones and you'll be able to get over it faster.

    It's never easy. It hurt. It'll sting to look back on it and remember the good times. But all you can do is help yourself to move on. Life is short, and you want to experience it rather than letting it tear you up! smile

  2. Darknlovely3436 profile image81
    Darknlovely3436posted 4 years ago

    It is going to take a very long time, longer that your high school romance:
    Time heals...

  3. Cayo Masigasig profile image61
    Cayo Masigasigposted 4 years ago

    Well just learn to accept things. Make yourself busy.  Or just like me you can read books. try this.

    I AM AN AVID READER. Most of my days were spent on reading books, books, and nothing but books. Books in any form, in hard paperback, old type and even e-books. Now I would like to share this e-book that I have read a week ago. This book is fantastic. It is filled with thoughts I've never ponder. I've learned a lot from this and I hope you too. A good book deserves to be read by everyone. … B00WN6ARM0

  4. profile image0
    Joshtheplumberposted 4 years ago

    The quantity of time is irrelevant. A good rule of thumb: if you have to ask someone else if you are ready for another one, you're probanly not.

    This may help. Much of the time, lonely people find each other and pretend to be who they think the other person wants. Some times two happy people who belong together happen to notice each other when they both quit searching.

  5. AutumnDawn profile image60
    AutumnDawnposted 4 years ago

    I can relate to this in many ways as well. I just ended an engagement, and while I was the one that left, it is a break up just the same. I got over mine by looking to who I want to be and what my values are. I even went to talk therapy once a week and I had an amazing therapist that taught me to be kind to myself. I have learned so much about myself in these past few months that I never though possible and now my life has a new sense of purpose. I know it sounds cliché but it's true. My advice: Be selfish and take care of you. Indulge in things that you couldn't before and go an adventures.

    Keep your chin up and know that it can't rain forever. I hope you feel better soon!

  6. profile image47
    MrsCalmesposted 4 years ago

    It sounds like she broke up with and if that's the case I find it easy to just sulk listen to the sick love songs and eat theres nothing wrong with it...take this time out to reevaluate your life and your standards and make the next relationship count

  7. HonestObserver profile image60
    HonestObserverposted 4 years ago

    I feel it changes from person to person ,it's all depends on you, whether to  take it as experience and move on or never accepting the  truth  that " it's over"and you can't undo it.So moving on as early as possible is only best option.If you recognize truth and facts quickly,you ll recover quick.
    All The Best

  8. cperuzzi profile image96
    cperuzziposted 4 years ago

    It should not be more than a year.  After that you should seek help in moving on.

    While we all may have thoughts about "the one that got away" or "carry a torch" for a certain individual, once the relationship is over, it should stay that way.  Once you reconcile the fact that your former significant other has moved on, you should do the same.

    I won't placate you with the old "there are plenty of fish in the sea..." yadda, yadda, yadda - because we all need time to grieve.  In many senses it is a death of sorts.  When you feel you have that special connection and it's good for just you and not your partner, you feel loss.

    Cry, drink, exercise, get out, see the world, reconnect with friends, and do whatever you need to do to reconcile the loss.  Or, and this is off the cuff, make a ceremony of it like a chord cutting.  You need to recognize it as an ending or a "right of passage".  Throw a "throwing things out" party.  Get rid of the stupid shit that reminds you of a dead relationship.  Burn it.  Throw it in a dumpster.  Know that it's not coming back.  If your partner ever does come back (which I highly recommend against for an infinite number of reasons) say it got lost in move or something - or it broke (which is not a lie when you smash it).

    Really, grieve for a year or less - then move on.

  9. profile image49
    AKSHAY0007posted 4 years ago

    It depends on the believes you have and the approach you adopted.When you breakup with someone the following steps may help to forget him or her faster:
    1)Delete all her memories.
    2)Understand that she was not the last,there are millions of other girls too.
    3)Don't leave any hope to get her back.
    4)Never dream or think about the time you spent with her and never imagine about her.
    5)Understand that you deserve a better person in your life.

  10. profile image51
    nakialeeposted 4 years ago

    You know that good old saying "Time heals all wounds", well personally I think of unexpected loses such as breakups, death of a love one, car wrecks etc , this way. Simply because its something you would have never expected to happen so soon and it cuts you deep inside because at the moment all you feel is pain like an actual open wound. So you have to allow yourself that time for your broken heart to heal before you can move on from the particular situation. Once you find yourself not thinking of this breakup or this particular person 24/7 then you can honestly say you're "open wound" or more so your broken heart is healing and is  becoming a scab that you will soon be able to peel off and never be reminded of again!!! There is actually no specific time frame,  it all depends on you and the level of pain you're able to endure at a time.

  11. choneycutt profile image75
    choneycuttposted 4 years ago

    Factors that reduce the length it takes to get over a 5 year relationship:

    1. Breaking up with her

    2. Having someone else to date right after or before the breakup

    3. Having a supportive social environment outside of her life

    4. Going out with friends or family a lot

    5. Destroying all mementos and photos of her

    6. Throwing yourself into hobbies

    7. Having positive thoughts of what you can now do without her, instead of the negative thoughts of what you can't do anymore.

    8. Realizing that it is better to break up now, rather than later.

    If you have all these factors working in favor for you, it should at most take a couple weeks to get over the relationship.  I would say the average length of time to get over the depression phase of losing a relationship is a month.  A month is usually how long it takes to adjust to any major life changes.  In rare cases, the depression or sadness can last even 6 months.  If this happens, seek therapy or at least try your best to get out of the home and grow stronger bonds with those close to you.

  12. profile image52
    Shineonmeposted 4 years ago

    You need to realise it was a part of your life and not your entire life. 5 years is a long time but you need to keep yourself busy. Concentrate on yourself do something extraordinary and prove yourself!

  13. Dakk profile image84
    Dakkposted 4 years ago

    As long as you want it to take, really. Its up to you to move on or keep yourself tied to the corpse of a previous relationship. Talk to your friends about it, people who know you personally and deeply, and try to meet new people.

    There's no magical or quick way to solve problems like these, but what I can say is that, ultimately, the answer isn't on the internet or on some person's thoughts, its in yourself, so you need to search for it inside, not outside, altough some outside sources might help.

  14. Mihnea Andreescu profile image81
    Mihnea Andreescuposted 4 years ago

    It all depends on the person and on the previous degree of commitment to that relationship.Getting over a long,serious relationship can be very painful and there can be no exact prediction when it comes to love issues.Some regrets last for a lifetime.

  15. profile image0
    sandrawelchposted 4 years ago

    I took a family law class years ago.  I remember the discussion, about how long it takes to get over, move on, and break habits learned during a relationship.  The formula was 1.5 times the length of the relationship.  I'm not sure about where these numbers came from, because I know people who have remarried with in days or weeks of a divorce.

    1. profile image55
      frumpletonposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      My boyfriend died in my apartment last winter and I have no plans to find another man to replace him.  Heart attack.  We were together for 22 years.

  16. roselinsojan profile image60
    roselinsojanposted 4 years ago

    Only one second.If it is your diction.5 years is a long period to think resonable.

  17. Shyron E Shenko profile image71
    Shyron E Shenkoposted 4 years ago

    Dean, each person is different and each person is responsible for their own happiness, you say she WAS your best friend.  You should find a new best friend, but keep her as a friend. 
    Just remember she has gotten over you or she would not be your ex.

  18. importantopinions profile image54
    importantopinionsposted 3 years ago

    As long as your heart needs. To help you get rid of every memory, let go of every thought, focus on other things and find interest in living life. No one can tell you to get over it, this is something that you and your heart do when you are ready.

  19. profile image52
    ET3000posted 3 years ago

    As long as the time between then and your next relationship. Or you find meaning and happiness in doing other stuff.

  20. Happylovejoy profile image95
    Happylovejoyposted 3 years ago

    I suppose it depends on the reason for the breakup and your support group of friends - if the other person cheated on you, anger and awesome friends can help you get over it within a couple of months - personal experience!

  21. chocolateboy1996 profile image68
    chocolateboy1996posted 3 years ago

    Mate it depends upon you sometimes even difficult to move one from 1 month relationship and sometimes even a 9 year relationship can be forgotten easily.

  22. Evane profile image61
    Evaneposted 3 years ago

    I think it depends. But 1 year should be enough for wounds to heal.

  23. Chrisburch profile image34
    Chrisburchposted 3 years ago

    It all depends on the type of person you are. Some people may take a while and others may get over it relatively quickly.

  24. Rohan Kulkarni profile image56
    Rohan Kulkarniposted 3 years ago

    I think a year or two. Its u decide when and how to come out of the jungle of emotions.Support yourself and do some religious activities and make a social circle of friends that is trustworthy at first care to be taken.Then relax and tune in to multiple things of life like god,general knowledge,family_your father and mother never forget them and serve them like a good boy and you will have a lot of good times and memories and learn as much as you can like new things of different kinds.explore different dimentions of life.I mean make yourself busy doing every good and nice things you can.make friends,respect everyone's feelings,help everyone you can which will make you forget everything about past.Be as much spiritual you spiritual books do activities of short keep yourself busy in doing good things so that you will definitely come out of it.Challenge yourself a bit always.

  25. krischavez profile image60
    krischavezposted 3 years ago

    My only advice with you is that, you try to keep yourself busy. Do what you love, put God first in yourself. Then later on time will get healed all the pain that you feel right now. You will notice that time flies so fast and you'll be alright, at that time you'll never know that the right person will come to your life and fulfill your dreams! Stay happy! God Bless

  26. MelangeSpace1 profile image41
    MelangeSpace1posted 3 years ago

    I feel like this depends on how good the relationship was as well as how it ended....

  27. profile image52
    Sreineposted 3 years ago

    It depends on the type of person you are, how things were during that relationship. For example if you're the type to get revenge it can take longer lol but you're the type to take it as a strong person and know that life goes on no matter what then it shouldn't take  that long

  28. profile image52
    Alexanderveinposted 3 years ago
  29. profile image54
    MysteriousBratposted 3 years ago

    There is no correct answer for this. Every relationship is different and its happiness was based on different things. There was different hardships. There was different goals and different failures. It is up to you to get the strength to move. Love yourself again. Love your independence. Learn your worth. Be secure about who you are. You will always love that person and so many things will remind you of that person in your future. You just have to remember your happiness comes first.

  30. Missing Link profile image82
    Missing Linkposted 3 years ago

    I'm sorry to say a person may never totally get over such a thing

  31. profile image55
    frumpletonposted 3 years ago

    Ouch!  Best friend and lover?  That's tough.  I'd guess probably about three years.  The best thing you can do is to immerse yourself in something that really absorbs your spirit.  Maybe it's art or music or writing, or anything else.  Get out of your apartment or house and walk.  You just might end up meeting someone nice.  I know meeting someone else is probably the last thing on your mind, but think of it like this:  There are people out there who are looking for a soul mate, too.  You just don't know it because they don't broadcast it.  They are afraid (like you) of trying again.  But just because someone broke your heart doesn't mean the next person will.  Good luck

  32. Tara Green profile image60
    Tara Greenposted 3 years ago

    After the break-up, your mind and heart are in conflict. It seems like she was your drug, not love. The pain is excruciating you don't think you will ever feel peace in your heart again, but the pain in your heart will pop up less and less frequently.

    I advise you to cry if you have to, to scream if you have to. Just let the pain out. It's difficult to accept that relationship had ended.

    Then, one day, you will just realize that your ex is absent from your thoughts. You will look in her photo and see a familiar face, not a love of your life.  You will be genuinely happy when your ex-girlfriend moves and find someone else.  That day, you will believe in true love again, but you will know that your ex wasn't yours.

  33. Aurangzeb Nitin profile image61
    Aurangzeb Nitinposted 3 years ago

    Dependa on you and her if she exists near you can see her easly that will become very hard to recover and apso depends how much you loves and how many time you think about her in one day . And more thing if she, is your first love cany forget her in life time

  34. profile image27
    gymnastlover2020posted 3 years ago

    I know it hurts but it takes a lot of balls to get over it .... I wish I had a relationship with someone then I think I don't want to so. Keep your head up high and reach for the stars. Follow your dreams at the moment.

  35. trysextoy profile image59
    trysextoyposted 3 years ago

    I went through a similar experience I was in a five year relationship and he was also my best friend. I would definitely say the process is not easy. Time is the healer my friend. You have to learn to be patient and to listen to what your heart is saying. If your feeling sentimental and feeling like you are not over her then you probably aren't. There's no real telling how long it will take for you to get over her. Every person is different and I can't tell you how long it's different for each person. But give it a year until you start to look for another serious relationship. This gives you some time to heal.

  36. profile image59
    gazalatposted 3 years ago

    Time is a good healer. Though it is not so easy to forget any one so easily. And to get over a relationship  of 5 years, it depends  upon a person to person. When a person keeps himself busy and indulge  ininterested  activities and workouts, i think a person can overvome soon

  37. alaknath profile image62
    alaknathposted 3 years ago
  38. Slackgurl profile image60
    Slackgurlposted 3 years ago

    How long does it take to get over the break up of a 5 year relationship?
    Well I don't think there is a right or wrong answer , but what I will say is this,
    5 years is along time to be with someone, you get comfortable and attached, you become use to always having them around. Truth is it all depends on you as a person , you have to ask your self Did u truly love them? what made you break up? Was their abuse? Did u have children ? Was there cheating involved? all those things play a role in dealing with your break up. Some people it takes a short time , others it takes longer , I was in a 8 year relationship, abusive, cheating, and had children. I needed to get out so eventually I did , I also met a wonderful man after 3 and half months ,  who i'm still with currently until this day and will be getting married next year. I have a friend who was in a 4 year relationship and it took her about 8 months to even consider dating again, her curcumstamces were also different , he took a job out of country and they couldnt make long distance wrk , so you see it depends on the circumstances surrounding your break up . I do know you will eventually get closure or get over it as you asked but in time all things come intime , and you will find someone worth being with again, it all comes in time after your healing process of a broken heart .

  39. Dre Steele profile image60
    Dre Steeleposted 3 years ago

    I don't think you get over it.. you have to accept it move on and I always suggest staying single and getting back into your hobbies.. love yourself and realize the next one has something to look forward to!

  40. profile image58
    Sarahbeestonposted 3 years ago

    I think it fades over time. Part of you will always wonder what if. However, I am a big believer in things being meant to be.  Sometimes people come in and out of our lives for a reason. I wish you luck and happiness.

  41. platinumOwl4 profile image70
    platinumOwl4posted 3 years ago

    It truly depends on whether you want to continue living in what was or do you want to start living  in what is happening now.

  42. ruky23 profile image60
    ruky23posted 2 years ago

    Depends on the person
    Do you try to move on or do you just let it happen?
    If you find ways to move on like keeping yourself busy, hanging out with friends, not stalking him/her on social media the whole day. Then it might not take long for you to get over the breakup. But then again if you are the type of person who will sit in the corner and cry, it will take a long time. Accepting the reality is not easy but we can make it easier by at least trying. I hope this helps

  43. Brians Review profile image76
    Brians Reviewposted 2 years ago

    It depends who did the breaking up. When I break up with someone, I'm immediately over it. I wanted it to end. On the other side, I've been dumped by a girl I loved, and I'm still working on getting over that one seven months later.

  44. Blue241 profile image60
    Blue241posted 2 years ago

    Do you remember that time when your dog died... and your parents told you can still keep it? No? Really?

    Your parents probably wanted to bury it or give it to someone who would. But you... no you insisted on playing with that dead dog.

    You played with it until one day you finally got tired of it:

    This dead dog not wanting to play catch, or it got heavy and stiff dragging it around for a walk, oh and that smell, remember that smell?

    This is what you are doing when you sit around waiting to get over a break up. You are playing with a dead dog, that your parents allowed you to keep.

    Or do you remember that time that you peed in your pants? Nobody could tell that you did, only you felt that warm feeling inside your pants.

    Will talk about that one later...

    She or he probably said something like " lets stay friends" and you accepted this.

    Chump, you waited didn't you? How long did you wait... days, weeks, months, years. Oh she will be back... nope didn't happen.

    Oh wait, I am wrong she did take you back... how do you act now around her? Feel that loss of power, didn't you? You blindly agree with everything that she wants or asks for - can't risk another fight, right?

    Who has all the power in the relationship now.. you are her?

    It's basically a polished turd of a relationship now. Let me save you some time: When it's over, it's over. Period. You don't want it back. Oh, look she went on a few dates during that "down time" between you. Try not thinking about that during your next intimate encounter.

    Send her this text - I am sure you still have her number:

    "Friendship is like pissing in your pants,
    not everyone can see it or feel its warmth,
    but only you.
    Thank you, for being the piss, in my pants."

  45. S R Gibby-Brown profile image92
    S R Gibby-Brownposted 2 years ago

    I was in a five year relationship with someone whom I thought was also my best friend. It wasn't my choice to split and I fought it hard, and lost.

    The hurt didn't go away all at once. More like in stages. It took about three months and three rebounds before I was ready to move on emotionally and let myself be a mature adult again. I stayed in contact with the ex for another six months after that. But after a while I realized, people sometimes grow apart and sometimes that's okay. We were a huge part of each other's lives for five years. We had experiences that we won't get again. Now all that is left is a page of blurry memories that are fun to look back on every once in a while.

    I think that the time of getting over a break up is different for every person. Time is relative, you know? It all depends on the person and how much they affected your life. But in the end, you will get over it and you'll realize that things are better for it. For whatever reason, life is taking the two of you on a different journey. But, for a moment, you got to share the road on a parallel adventure.

  46. Glenis Rix profile image97
    Glenis Rixposted 2 years ago

    As long as the person who is hurt takes to realise that life is short and it is being wasted pining for what is over. You will be old sooner than you realise ( I'm 69 and only yesterday was your age and in your position). It's hard, but you need to pick yourself up, find some new interests. It is possible to fall in love again - just don't cut yourself off from the possibilities and the opportunities.

  47. Shonai profile image61
    Shonaiposted 2 years ago

    Breakup's these days are very common . people hardly take time to get over such stuffs...but yess if u look into long term relationships like 5 years its a pretty long time indeed,I have come across several couples with long term relationships having a quick breakup, what i found talking to them is  it hurts after all u become used to with ur bf/gf's habbits of getting a phone call, outings or being physical .In a particular  ..differrent people, different ways to overcome :1. The one's too dedicated to their parterners but unfourtunietely had a breakup they get really emotional for may be few days or much more longer.
    2. some who really go through a mutual breakup they are fine with such things and still reamins friends.
    3. people who are betrayed by each other they too dn't take much time to overcome it ,just that they stop seeing eachother at all.
    Relationships does'nt always mean LOVE ,well thats a deep word .But we are Humans such stuff are must to take place sometimes so we must learn to handle it wisely and live our life to the fullest.

  48. profile image55
    BraveisBeautifulposted 2 years ago

    It depends on how much damage it did or how many beautiful memories it contained. Either the 'pain caused' or 'love felt', can make it harder to forget or forgive everything. It takes time....but the most quick way is to stay busy and instead of staying indoors all by yourself, just spend the rest of the time with friend or family circle.

  49. Charlotte Craig profile image61
    Charlotte Craigposted 2 years ago

    How long is a piece of string?  Every relationship is different. Why did they break up in the first place, that would lead you to believe that at least one of the couple were dissatisfied and the other one had failed in making them happy.  Instead of being upset about the relationship ending they should look at how it was not working and see it as an opportunity to be free or find someone else.  If they are still besotted with the object of their desire it can take forever to get over it.

  50. Sissi Ravano profile image34
    Sissi Ravanoposted 2 years ago

    I guess there is no time limits on how long does it take, but its always depends on how fast we could courage ourselves to another direction, on how we move on and how the next relationship works. How solid is the feeling / connection and the life project with the new person.

    But to completely get over the breakup, perhaps... never


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