If you fell in love with someone 20 years elder than you, would you marry them?

1. 60

   cejaeposted 13 years ago

   Yes, if I could see beyond the crazyness of Falling in Love and know we had enough love and respect between ourselves to build a solid relationship.
   
   The years don't matter. 
   
   But I have to admit, given my age, he would be pretty old and the marriage might be shortened by his age.

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2. 82

   WickedLittleLiarposted 13 years ago

   I don't really like the idea of being with an older man in any way at all, but I also say "never say never".

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3. 85

   Barbsbitsnpiecesposted 13 years ago

   @Ultimate Hubber...Is your question intended to be one-sided? If he were in love with me, as well, the age difference would not keep me from saying yes to marriage. There are some problems with this much of an age difference between two people, but if the other big questions of a relationship are in place, the age difference is unlikely to be a major factor in keeping things together.

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4. 62

   mayarposted 13 years ago

   yes ! the age is just a number ! and that person understand me and i understand him , so its okay ! i think it just normal and love is blind !

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5. 61

   Andrew McKenzieposted 13 years ago

   My wife wouldn't be too happy if I did...but if I was not married and found someone and fell in love, age would not be something I would consider. To me, if there is enough commonality there to generate love, years dwindle away. Besides, it seems the older we get, the closer those age gaps get and we find we have a lot in common based on our experiences and interests. Short answer is: yes.

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6. 74

   sweethearts2posted 13 years ago

   I did.  Not 20 years but 25 years older.  I would do it again if the same man was asking.  I knew him for 7 years before we married.  Our marriage lasted 39 years. Love isn't blind it's seeing the flaws and scars with understanding.

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7. 64

   bizzymomposted 13 years ago

   Yes, I think it would be fine to marry someone 20 years older.

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8. 48

   annalleseposted 13 years ago

   I once married a man 26 years older than I was.  The problem was, I was so young, naive and innocent.  He took full advantage and pushed me into the marriage before I was really ready.  I was too young to know what I wanted out of life.  Needless to say, the marriage is over.  I see nothing wrong with marrying a much older man, if you are mature enough to know what you want.

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9. 60

   selfdefenselessonposted 13 years ago

   I personally wouldn't.
   
   But have nothing against others who choose to do so.

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10. 61

    marydaphneposted 13 years ago

    its case to case basis if both of you are in love with each other why not marry her/him,age is not important its the heart that counts..marriage is a life time obligation.living in one roof for life without love is sacrificing..building a family is a journey. you will never felt fulfillment when you end up in a wrong guy.. in practical aspect woman always marry man older than her because of wealth and security,love is on process of developing affection, at end love will grow and harmony can smell out in the air and love will follow later..

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11. 60

    shanayaposted 13 years ago

    I think Age shouldn't Matter when LOVE IS CONCERN. Because LOVE knows no Boundaries. It's just happen whenever it Destined to happen.

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12. 57

    tiniewinneposted 13 years ago

    love is always a mindless game--it can occur any time anywhere, but marrying is different issue--if you are rich 85 years old man/woman, you will find 100 hundreds of opposite or same sex people are waiting for you-if you are poor 80 years old, I guess it is hard to find anyone whom you can call friend,
    But if you at this stage if you get somebody who is 20 year younger want to marry you--you should definitely go for it--ITS simply TRUE love

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13. 74

    MarieAliceposted 13 years ago

    sure i will... age is not important.. love and respect are!!!!

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14. 68

    VonShanksposted 13 years ago

    If you fall in love, what does age matter? I think yes, if I fell in love with someone 20 years older, I would marry them.

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15. 50

    c7anf3rposted 13 years ago

    yess, i'm always in love with those who older than me

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16. 68

    jmartin1344posted 13 years ago

    If it truly was love than age shouldn't matter.  I would imagine that the reason it doesn't happen all that often is that the things that trigger two people to fall in love more often than not don't generally occur between people with a huge age gap....
    
    However, that doesn't mean that love can't exist there, and if it does then it would be wrong to ignore it just because of age...
    
    That's just my opinion....

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17. 81

    hazelbrownposted 13 years ago

    I can't really picture it, but maybe!  It would be sad that he would die 20 years earlier than me, though!  I'm not sure if I could take that.

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18. 59

    petexanhposted 13 years ago

    It can work, but a lot of thought needs to be put into it, perhaps through a long successful relationship before it.
    
    At the risk of being unromantic, in my opinion, marriage is more than two people being in love with each other. Its a lifetime commitment together, and perhaps most punishing on the younger partner in the relationship. While one is in their 20s and the other is 40s, there may not be much difference, but are they still on the same page when one of them is ready to retire while the other is in the height of their career. Does an older husband want to have children in his 50s when his wife is in her 30s? Its not just being on the same page when you get married, but the same page when on the lifetime journey. It can be a struggle enough for those in the same phase of their lives, and a large age gap can make that even worse.
    
    It may also sound unromantic, I don't believe it is realistic to say if you are in love nothing else matters. Most of us don't live in the Blue Lagoon, and are subject to the scrutiny and judgements of our friends, family, enemies, collegues, and even the wider public. Most of us have enough insecurities to not be bulletproof when judged by others. We all want other people we care about to feel the same way as we do, and it can be hard when they don't. If the older partner is affluent is an attractive younger partner percieved as a gold digger? Is the older partner just a cougar or dirty old man? The judgements of others aren't just opinions either when they can tangibly impact on our lives, professionally or personally, sabotaging job opportunities or friendships. All strains which can create rifts in a marriage.
    
    It can work, but a lot of serious questions have to be asked. And if the best response is that 'If it doesn't work out then we can always get divorced', then you probably shouldnt get married in the first place.

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    1. 88

       Glenn Coposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Peter;
          You're precisely right. There are a lot more considerations than love.
          My wife is 22 yrs younger that me, and we've been married for 16 yrs., and now suddenly she's 38 and extremely active, and I'm 61, and much less active.

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19. 59

    mottiandbanderposted 13 years ago

    Obviously one can do because love is the most important part of your life and you can't live without your best part in this world.

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20. 59

    regina sposted 13 years ago

    yes, if that person was my soul mate...definately yes.  age isn't that important

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21. 0

    amaranthmercyposted 13 years ago

    Absolutely. Love is a beautiful thing and should not be thrown aside lightly. Others may say the age difference is insurmountable, but if they were to meet that kindred spirit... Would they really walk away?

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22. 60

    fpherj48posted 13 years ago

    You've just encouraged me to stop and give this answer some very serious thought, before responding......It's multi-faceted for me at this point (age) in my life.  Now, in my early sixties, I know I would certainly not consider marrying a man in his eighties.  Reflecting back to my 20's, I may have been foolish enough to believe that "love conquers all, and marry someone in his 40's.  I'm grateful that was never an option.  This brings me to believe that the one age bracket where I would have no second thoughts about a union w/ a 20 year gap.....is my 30's.  Marrying a man in his 50's at that point in my life may have been an easy decision for me.   Make sense?   It DOES to me!

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23. 51

    vanquybk08posted 13 years ago

    I just cannot see that but then what would you do ""..Would it matter to you ? What about older people ? would the age make a Difference example I am 69 years old and no way in hell could I see myself with a 49 year old man. {My daughter is that age.} {the 20 years' difference?

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    1. 53

       williiamwilliamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       that's your  choice don't be a hater love overlooks differences every has one life to live be positive not negative this why a lot of  people or by themselves old and lonely.

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24. 60

    pearpandasposted 13 years ago

    Yes.  Age is just an illusion, and if you love someone then you should.  It may also be hard because they may die way before you, but I would still take that chance.  Love is a blessing and true love is rare in life.  Don’t throw it away just because of something as trivial as age.

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25. 65

    FacebookPokerChipposted 13 years ago

    depends on their physical fitness and health, you don't wanna marry a person with one foot in the grave..

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26. 59

    SportsAgencyblogposted 13 years ago

    Love overlooks differences. I can say that our hearts has its own mind to choose what it wants. Marrying person despite your age gap does not matter as long as your reason is love.

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27. 62

    Katya Drakeposted 13 years ago

    I almost did! It did not work out, which may have been an good thing. I was 20 and he was  37. If I'm ever in that position again with someone else, I think I would if I was in love and knew he loved me. Like any other thing in life, it would depend on the relationship. He would also have to truly love my sons as his own.

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28. 59

    Impostoraposted 13 years ago

    Why not? You can always divorce. To make a point, I don't think marrying is the real issue here; the issue is, can you love someone who is 20 years older? And apparently that issue is not an issue since the question is making it clear that "if you fall in love" "would you marry them?"  Why not marry them if you are in love?

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29. 91

    JIN1128posted 13 years ago

    It's very hard.  I am 26, so he would be 46.  I look way younger than 26, so that's a huge difference.  When I see a 46 years old man, he reminds me of my uncle nothing else.  When I am sixty, I am getting ready to retire and spend the rest of my life with my husband.  But at that point, he is eighty.  He will die in a few years or is already died.  20 years older is just too big of a difference.  10 years older is not really a problem because it is still in the same generation.  Most men would love to find someone 20 years younger.

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30. 66

    MonetteforJackposted 13 years ago

    Obviously, yes    I was already in my mid 30's when I got married.

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31. 71

    terrektwoposted 13 years ago

    Love knows no age limits, although I would have trouble imagining it, they would be almost 50 in my case (no offense to any 50+ ladies reading this)

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32. 61

    PoliCommandmentsposted 13 years ago

    I don't want to think about marriage right now.  However, I have always stood by the saying that love is blind.  It doesn't know age.  Norms tend to make me shudder when I think of myself in such a situation.  However, sometimes, the increase in maturity and wisdom is something to be desired, and can enhance a romantic relationship.

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33. 0

    muhammadsohaibukposted 13 years ago

    YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeS!!!!! i will must marry... coz everything is fare in love and war

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    1. 52

       Alice Adhiamboposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yes i of course as long as love is there

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34. 71

    AnnaBushposted 13 years ago

    I have a friend who married someone 40 years her senior.  They lived happily married for over 20 years until he passed away.

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35. 84

    Rachelle Williamsposted 13 years ago

    No, I would never fall in love with anyone 20 years older than me.  They don't call it "robbing the cradle" for nothing.

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36. 55

    cloverangelsposted 13 years ago

    Yes, I will. As long as my mom and dad approve it and they got along well. Well, it's not that I have mom or dad complex, but, I love my mom and dad, so yeah...

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37. 49

    bambamkycnposted 13 years ago

    no, i would not marry someone 20 yrs older because their way of looking at life , habits ,likes and dislikes is way different than a younger person. kind of more subtle.

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    1. 60

       BrookJames75posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       My husband and I have a 22 year age difference. These things you mentioned have never been an issue. I understand it may for some.

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38. 59

    shamani67posted 13 years ago

    I did and so did my Brother. It worked out for awhile, but in the long run I think it is destined to fail. As you age, the gap seems to get wider. When you are young it is not so noticeable. Each to their own.

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39. 62

    Erin Rooneyposted 13 years ago

    If I fell in love with someone 20 years older than myself (and they fell in love with me) and we were certain we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and would be more than just happy with each other, then yes. Absolutely. The appearance of the relationship to outsiders matters little. In fact, the more of the relationship you share with those who aren't a part of it, the more dishonest the relationship can become.
    
    I don't mean that there would be direct lying going on, but those in the relationship might feel the pressure to change, be funny, do interesting things, be together non-stop, never fight, never disagree...it's exhausting. We have to allow ourselves to be in relationships and accountable to our partner and ourselves, but not to those standing nearby peering inward.

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40. 60

    angeladale2posted 13 years ago

    Yes i would. I don't think age should matter in a relationship. As long as that person makes you happy and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Just remember make sure you truly love that person before you make such a big step as marriage.

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41. 60

    humanoidposted 13 years ago

    Yep
    And since my answer was too short - "Yep" again
    It's usually a problem of the maturity of the younger partner, I think.
    And by maturity I mean just that, not how old they are, but what and how they think, of you, themselves, working life, the world and money and children and what to expect as you both get older and what you like to do, whether it's together or not and on and on....
    BUT if I was say 16 and the other person was 36 ***bad idea alert***
    36 marrying a 56 year old is OK to me
    Got it?

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42. 0

    HERBERT ubaldoposted 13 years ago

    No, that's old enough..... in tagalog term  KULUBOT

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43. 59

    inkoposted 13 years ago

    If they aren't married.  If they love you back.  Then why not?
    Personally, I find some older men hot.

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44. 60

    ershruti304posted 13 years ago

    Yes untill it demands the sacrifice of other relations. None of the definition defines love as demanding relation in fact it defines it as a giving relation

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45. 70

    hubsyposted 13 years ago

    I don't think so, I mean it is kind of really romantic, sort of a Jane Eyre type of feel, but sill, imagine how your children would fee, or how they would pass on so much earlier than you. Sorry to be so cynical.

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46. 80

    bryteyedgeminiposted 13 years ago

    I suppose so, my husband is 15years my senior and we have been happily married going on ten years now

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47. 0

    feelhungryposted 13 years ago

    No.. definitely no.. Because there would be a barrier of communication.

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48. 78

    aravindb1982posted 13 years ago

    No! Love is common but society has norms. Thats why an Oedipus or electa complex is termed as a complex. Also, marrying someone 20 years elder will prove difficult biologically, psychologically and physically too. There are high chances of losing the partner to death and living a life alone for a long time. ( am assuming monogamy here.)
    
    So go ahead - have love and affection for people of all ages - but if its someone 20 years elder do not change it into a sensual or sexual love!

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49. 60

    Cuttersposted 13 years ago

    I sure would age to me does not matter, as long as there is love age is meaningless

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50. 92

    suzettenaplesposted 13 years ago

    Yes, I would.  It happened to me.  Many, many years ago, (almost in another life) I fell in love with a man 20+ years older than me when I lived overseas.  I know this is going to sound so cliche, but it really did happen to me.  He ended up being married, but didn't tell me until a year into the relationship.  It was difficult and devastating.  He also would not divorce his wife for religious reasons.  I just couldn't go on being Katherine Hepburn to his Spencer Tracy so we ended the relationship.  But, I'll tell you.  I really, really, loved that man and always have, even though I married someone else.  My marriage ended, and I have often wondered if it was really doomed from the beginning because of this man.

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