Is it right to tell your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner about your PAST SEX LIFE?
Does it help or mar a relationship?
LOL - that depends on two things
2- your new partner
If you are looking for an answer that fits every situation, you will surely look for decades.... no ... CENTURIES !
I would not bandy it about like telling a funny story. But if it comes up, I found that honesty is always the best policy. How can you be held accountable for past events that have nothing to do with the current status of your relationship? If you have made a clean break with the path and there is nothing there that could have adverse effect on the present relationship, then sally forth. Any partner that would condemn you for something you did prior to you meeting him or her is nuts and I would consider carefully about how mature such a partner is.
It depends. To build trust and open-ness in a relationship, it is better to be upfront of what you have done in the past so that when you are married, your partner is not caught by surprise if someone tells them something about you and then starts doubting you. This is actually what will create mistrust and suspicion. So to live a "happily married life", it's better to share
whatever you have done in the past with your future partner.
it is not in anyway advisable because it will only cause jealousy
Carly Simon has a song titled, "We Have No Secrets". Basically it's about how you think you want to know someone's past lovelife (and secrets) until you actually hear them. Personally, I feel there's no reason to offer this information to a loved one. Why would you want to picture the person you love in a heated moment of passionate love-making with someone else? I don't want that image in my mind. We all have pasts, but that's exactly where it belongs, in the past.
Yes I think it's healthy to let your partner know about your past sex life. It could save a lot of pain in the future and the option of both of you getting checked for stds should be a priority to ensure that all is well and healthy in the relationship.
Sometimes people think they want to know, but really they don't want to know.
If the information is relevant (such as for health concerns, etc.) then yes. Otherwise -- why would you even want to know? Personally, all I care about with my husband is that I'm his only sex life now. He lived without me for 49 years and has kids with two different past wives and had numerous girlfriends. I know he's had sex with a lot of different people, but I also know I don't want the details any more than he wants the details of my private life before he came into the picture.
generally, its a bad idea. It ends up in the "numbers" game. Who slept with more people, etc. Don't lie if asked about a specific person, but there is no need to compare a list of old lovers, either.
it is another reason for the manifestation of jealousy
Before you two become soul-mates for the rest of your life, it is good to share all the information with each other, for ONCE and FOR GOOD.
If both persons will share to each other, then there won't be any doubts and grudges remaining, but it will save a heap lot of heat later thereafter in a relationship, if one comes to know from any other source. That will be a root-cause of creating doubts then.
If you are in a serious relationship with someone ,
it's a good idea to talk about your past sex life
especially if you were involved in some risky past
Your past risky behavior can affect your new
relationship if you have never been tested for HIV.
I worked in the health care field for years and part of
my job was to talk about risky sexual behavior.
It's better to talk it now, so there won't be any regrets.
You can tell about relationship, but not sex life. Sex is always inherently dangerous.
If I put myself in the position of beginning a sexual relationship, although I always make an effort to be non-intrusive, I would want to know any information that might impact my health. In fact, the law will prosecute in cases where someone in a personal relationship, unknowingly, acquired a sexually transmitted disease. The stakes are high with diseases that are lifelong or life threatening.
Even knowing someone for a long time does not insure honesty in this facet of relationships. Yes, there is the risk of rejection in revealing personal information regarding promiscuity and its common consequences, but the alternative is harming another and the consequences of those actions can bear legal ramifications and lifelong damage to personal reputation. Living with the consequences of being known as a careless, deceptive liar is a heavy burden that is difficult to undo. Living with your conscience is even worse.
If asked, be responsible and honest. They have a right to know.
If not asked, breach the subject. Just as you should be honest, they should respect your right to know, especially when it could be a matter of health.
No I don't think it is a good idea to talk of your past sex life to any of your partners
I think it's on a need-to-know basis. For instance, if you screwed a close friend or a family member of hers before you met her, tell her and the sooner the better. If you used to have random one-night-stands, don't tell her. If you have an incurable disease, tell her. If you just got crabs, don't tell her. If you ever screwed animals, tell her. If the girls you screwed used to give you stuffed animals, don't tell her. If you're attracted to other men, tell her. If you've been with men that she's also been with, definitely tell her! If you have kids, tell her. If you tried to get somebody pregnant, don't tell her. I'm all for "honesty is the best policy" and "the truth will make you free", but I'm also a big fan of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Life give us enough awkward moments without us having to look for more to get into. Let the past be the past and just focus on that woman in the present and maybe even in your future.
That depends on if you both have a clean bill of health or if either of you have been exposed to AIDS. Usually by adulthood everybody has a past. If you don't have a past I would definitely mention that once the relationship gets serious. It is said that you have had sex with everyone that the other person has ever had sex with once you do have sex. Everybody expects the other person to have a past once you reach adulthood.
by words cocktail 9 years ago
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