Asking for a date...

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   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   ediggity ask if I can post this q --- Is it ok for a woman to ask a man for a date?

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      mtsi1098posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi PDH - I do not see a problem at all with this...

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         prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         hi mtsi, ok.. but will you expect her to pay for the bill?

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            mtsi1098posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Not necessarily but if the woman asks the conversation should follow...

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               prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               ok then, I can't cope up with the responses LOL..

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                  1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  with a few cervasas u could cope with anything

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            1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            why not she ask me is it not so

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sure it's fine, but I prefer to know the man is interested enough to ask me first. If I'm interested, I'll accept. If we continue dating, then I would certainly plan a date night, inviting him for dinner or a day trip somewhere.
      
      I have paid for dinners with men I was in relationships with for a long time, but never a first date. They were gentlemen who preferred paying. Only one man wanted me to pay for a second dinner date after the check came.. I paid half and that was the last date with him.

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         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think you did the right thing. It seems he was challenging your motivation for going on the date with him, or he was just stingy. Either way, it's not a good sign.

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            rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            in this case, after listening to him bash his former wife, I really don't think he was ready to be dating again. His dating savvy was sorely lacking. No woman wants to hear a man bashing another woman on any date.

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               1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               yer right elle i found this 2 be very true after my 6th devorce,do not mention another woman when u are with another it is very bad and dangerous as i know this to be true ,one wife i had one time after commin' in late one night and going to sleep awoke straped 2 the bed and her with a 8in long butcher knife standing over me wantin' to know who the womans was i was mumblin' in my sleep.thank god the phone rang with a emergency from her mother so i know about it u c my friend,well i gota go on a date see you adios.

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            1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            their are many signs my friend camo their signs of the times ,and hand gester signs,so watz in signs.besides don't waste time blowin' smoke 4 elle may shes 2 smart 4 that eh amigo.

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         prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I think I will also do the same when I am in your shoes Ms Rebekkah..I will be too shy to ask for a date specially the first date..

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            1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Au pretty horse i was just gettin' warmed up,well i suppose u are very young and....inexperienced maybe in a few more icecream seasons.

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         1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         well elle may he sure didn't make mucha impression if a few dinnerz waz all the man was worth,i feel he must of felt as jesus,his last meal before the crusifixtion eh

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      Originposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It would be nice from time to time, yes. Makes the guy feel special and wanted too!

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      Jeff Berndtposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, it's fine. She should say, "Please pass the dates." and he ought to politely hand her the bowl. She should thank him. Then she can take one or more dates from the bowl and eat them.

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         prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         LOL, lots of "dates" then...

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         1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         hey jeff rod  what u talkin' eatin' dates,what kina dates u eatin' man where u gona go to eat dates,Arabs eat their dates but we don't have no date palms over here man are u nuts what is wrong with you dates in bowls,cats climbin' up trees,thatd be like sayin' Napoleon pulled a bone apart or something i wish i knew where youz gettin' all these dates umm i believe i'll get me some adios.

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      andycoolposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      As being your opposite gender and not being a gay I always expect women to make the first move. I find it too exciting but no idea about paying bills! I think that shouldn't be an issue really.

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         prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Ok, did you ever approach a woman before then?

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            andycoolposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah I did... actually more than one! And approached by someone... sure! Women approach too but the process is different. They usually make the first move by doing something that compel men to ask for a date. But I like the way women trap men... it's so exciting!

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               prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               How was it exciting, share it..

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                  andycoolposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm an emotional yet unconventional guy... I like to enjoy my life with good people. I did wish to fall in love with a woman for a purpose. But that was the way of life when I was not married. It's been three and half years now that I'm married to a woman with a beautiful mind. So I don't want to fall in love anymore. But when I was in search for my better half I met a lot of women whom I asked for a date or I was approached by some of them. I used to meet women with the intention of finding the true wave length that matches my type... so I used to have a lot of conversation with them. It took almost seven years to complete the process. But I enjoyed every moment of it... without touching them ever, heaven's sake! I got invited by a few to do naughty things with them... but I avoided tactfully. The invitations made me excited enough but I had to keep myself in control, because I knew that the short term relationship might not just end up in marriage. My wife knows everything about my past before our marriage, I told her everything and she had no objections because she understands me... and I too, and that's the mantra of a successful marriage. I was misunderstood by many of my female friends... they call me a flirt. But I know who I'm and I don't regret. I know what I did to them is for the benefit of not only myself but also for them. An unsuccessful marriage is bad for both. This is the first time I'm sharing it in public. Thanks!

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                     prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     That is a great experience and thank you for sharing Andycool. I think that you found the real one and your waiting time was over. How did you know she is the one after all the many women who are coming your way?

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                     1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     jo cool your so full o smoke u look like a locomotive man that poor girl shes buyin' all that stuff man au man.

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      1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i think maybe i say 2 myself, 1eye i think maybe she is eatzy this one i che wa wa maybe so.

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   camloposted 14 years ago

   Hi Maita! Well, I don't see any good reason why a woman shouldn't ask a man for a date.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hi camlo..ok, did somebody ask you out already and did you expect her to pay the bill?

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         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I've been asked out numerous times in my life. In that situation, it is nice if the woman pays, but if she doesn't, that's no problem either. So, I don't really 'expect' anything.
         As I said in the other thread, if I invite, I always pay. I'll also pay on any date, romantic or non-romantic, when people talk about splitting the bill, or seem to be having trouble opening their wallets etc

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            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            That is nice..
            
            Would you say it is cultural then, I see that where I came from Asia, women still expect the men to pay for the bill and wait for the man to invite them for any date...

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               camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I'm from England, and have been living in Germany since 1987. The women here do seem a little more forward than in England, but maybe things have changed since then.
               
               I'm sure there are many countries (i.e. Asian, Southern European) where a woman inviting a man out wouldn't be acceptable. A cultural thing.

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                  prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  1987? oh maybe it changed a lot since then, women are getting bolder nowadays too..Southern Europe like Spain?

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               Sab Ohposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I have been asked by the woman in various parts of Asia, although I agree that for the most part the basic order of these things still holds and is still essentially what both sides really want.

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                  prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  That is what I am thinking too...many women still want to be asked not the one to ask for it..

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                     mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Oh, I would never "ask for it"!  I just might get it!  Of course, I haven't been getting it lately.  Maybe I should ask?  tee hee hee

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                        prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        yeah right before Halloween,,,
                        
                        and I don't doubt in a second you can get one....

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            1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            smooooth! camo

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Hey PDH, at first I thought you were looking for a date?
   
   I'd jump at that chance/opportunity.
   
   However, with reference to your question- Yes, it is perfectly fine if a woman wants to ask someone out on a date.
   
   It is after all, a choice she can make without any influence. She would simply have to make up her mind to take action.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Cagsil, ok then. Will you also expect her to pay for the bill, what will be your impression of her?

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I don't ever expect a date would pay for anything during our date. Regardless of how the date came to happen.
         
         My personal opinion is that a woman, if interested in me, asks me out, then it would be my honor to pay for the evening.
         
         If I asked her out, then I am expecting to pay, because I initiated the encounter.
         
         So, as you can see, it doesn't make a difference.

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            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Got it CAGS, you're a true Mass. gentleman...

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               1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               well you know what they say about gentlemen,they ain't much fun but i think most these rats are lyin' or wantin' to don't be taken in by all the train smoke,corse a woman wants to hear sweet things even if they know they are a  lie us real men know that ,i'm not supposed 2 tell u this its a male credo i could get barred from the women chasers club if they ever found out but this is what makes us most macho well i gota go the phone rang another girl wants a date.

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   Mighty Momposted 14 years ago

   Sure. Women can ask men out on dates.
   This is 2010 not 1810!

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe I was born 1810, hmm, I can't do that...What is a good approach then, you just smile and say, Will you be available for a date, like that??

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         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'd say a good and subtle way is to start a conversation about a movie, or about certain food and drink, and then suggest, as though it had only just occurred to you, that you could both go to see that movie, or to that great restaurant where they specialize in that particular food or whatever.

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            couturepopcafeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Nope.  Have to disagree, though you are the guy and may know better.  I say, don't be timid, don't be subtle.  It's too easy to be misread.  Tell the guy you would like to take him out.  Be specific.  "John, I'd like to take you out to a great restaurant I found."  "Oh, really, prettydarkhorse?  What's the restaurant?"  "Blah, blah blah restaurant downtown.  Great food.  How's Saturday?"  "Oh, sorry dark, I'm not free Saturday."  "How's Friday?"  If he says no again, say, "OK, maybe another time, then."  You've now been humiliated.  Smile, turn and walk away.  Do not look back.  Do not lower your head as you walk.  In fact, put an extra swivel in your hips.  He'll be watching you walk away.  If he is interested, now he knows you are and will ask you out.  If he says yes to your invitation, you better have a plan and yes, you absolutely pay the entire bill.  Don't have less than $100. on you or a credit card in case you want to extend the evening.  It would even be good if, whether he says yes or no, to give him one of those guy pats on the bicep before you leave saying "pick you up at 7".

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               camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I was only suggesting a less bold way of doing it, but I like your style

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               prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I think men want women to be specific and know what they want, got it...
               
               couturepopcafe, nice move there, why not put a kiss on the cheek instead of the bicep? But if for example he says no, then I will just maybe smile...

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   ediggityposted 14 years ago

   I've never met a woman who asked a man out on a date.

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      Originposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I've been asked out on dates by women a few times during my life (Usually I'm doing the asking). I know it goes against the trend a little bit, but sometimes it's nice to be asked out.

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         prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         It makes the man feel good to be wanted I understand that..

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      couturepopcafeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      What's with the trend thing?  No trend.  It's just the way it's always been.  A man would never expect or want a woman to ask him out.  Heaven forbid such boldness.  Your generation is much more Renaissance.  Guys go to baby and wedding showers now, they have groom cakes at their weddings, they cry, all very cool and human things to do.  Well, hell, if we have to wear pants, you have to cry.

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         ediggityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I do not know this trend thing you speak of.  I've just literally never met a woman who asked a guy out on a date.  Additionally, while many woman have expressed their approval in this thread, I still haven't seen any evidence to support they have actually asked a man out.  However, I have witnessed what Mega spoke about many times.  Hinting, but never flat out asking.  My generation, LOL!

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            mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            When you're in the dating world a really good hint is always 100% better than a request of any kind.  I learned this from my mother and others in her generation. I guess it is kind of outdated, but I consider it part of the game.  Only later, after you're married - hints stop working, is my experience, so you either have to seize control and tell him when and where you're both going and all, and also be sure you seize control of the bank account! 

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               1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               madre mea  a vampire!!

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            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I haven't known a woman asked a man for a date too, maybe I am just staying inside the house...

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               1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               geezz how young are u anyways

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         1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         i don't go to no baby shower,i am after all most MACHO!!

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      1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      sorry about that ebert or shindiggity

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   Mikeydoesposted 14 years ago

   Thats the only way I'm probably ever going on a date, because I'm not asking! Well at least not any time soon.
   
   It is more than okay for girls to ask guys, I can't see why it wouldn't be.

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   wyanjenposted 14 years ago

   I asked my husband out, for our first date.
   We split the check

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   mega1posted 14 years ago

   IF you feel comfortable with the guy and want to ask him to go out with you - do it!  You can say "I want to pay for our night out - my treat"  or  "We could go dutch treat" or not say anything and play it by ear.  But if you aren't comfortable asking, there are many ways to really let him know you would like to go out with him - mentioning great places you like to go, asking if he's ever gone there - saying things like "I bet we would have a lot of fun at such and such" gives him the opening to say "Would you like to go there on Saturday?" This way if he doesn't want to ask or would turn you down if you asked, neither of you get rejected.
   
   OR  You can say "I was at that concert last week and thought of you - I know you would have loved it!  Wish I'd been with you!"  stuff like that.  Hint around.  I don't feel very comfortable asking someone, unless we've already gone out before and I know for sure he'd like to go - and probably I would have a definite place in mind, a reason for asking him.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ok, this is different with couturepopcafe style, this is more subtle,

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hint, I think women loves to hint, but to most mean they want specific and some wouldn't get the hint? What if they don't get the hint? will you ask them straight?

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         mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Probably won't ask any guy who is daft enough not to get my bold hint! I'll look for someone with a bit more sin-sitivity!

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            prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            mega, Nah, some guys are not that sensitib, with the b, hehe

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   Kidgasposted 14 years ago

   I think it is fine for a woman to ask a man out if she so chooses.

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

    ...i think it's okay too...i asked my divorce lawyer (Bob) out....he picked up the tab...and Bill got the legal bill (hey that rhymes)....it all worked out fine for me!....but then....as some of you may know Bob said I do...and the rest was history....haven't asked anyone out since....later maybe!

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       china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You married your divorce lawyer !!!!!!!!   You are in deep doo doo if you ever split with him   He will not only get his half of everything, he will get your check for half the bill and steal the rest from you    No wonder you are behaving these days !!

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          SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          no problem.....we split up not long after....Bob was a good guy....just not my type really.....should have dated him a few more times...i made him sign a pre-nup.....i'm free as a bird again.....i sent him a bill for the divorce party!....if you see him around, say hi! to him for me......I think he's somewhere in China now......
          
          

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             china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Wow  -  did you eat the first three

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                SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                ...that might have been easier to get rid of some dead weight................r u serious CM?!......AP would never say that to me!

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                   china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Aw!  now you have made me feel bad    I just couldn't help myself, I try to resist  . . . . . . sometimes

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             prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Hi someway, that is sweet, literally.

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             1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             holy Mary mother of god talk about heart attack waitin' 2 happen,pass the chocolate syrup bucket and whipped cream and a few dozen hamburgers for appetizers geezz i hope theirz plenty ventilation in case of a gas attack Aquila pasha see u soon.  blob er bob

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    pisean282311posted 14 years ago

    @pretty well since you asked me..I am ready pretty..when and where?

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hmm, Pisean how are you there? Morning...

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    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    Oh Hi Maita
    
    Of course you can ask a guy for a date!
    
    But.... Make sure that he's got a Full Packet tho... Just in case you find the first date tasty!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi PD? oh not on the first date? Do you mean condom, smiles.

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          pisean282311posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          he meant chocolate packets...shhh..naughty girl...i am fine..how are you?

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    donotfearposted 14 years ago

    I think it's okay to ask a man out. Unless it ends up being a one way deal...you know, if it's always the woman doing the asking. I remember being terrified to do so when I was single. But after I started seeing someone regular, it was no problem.
    
    I think if it was the first time to ask, I'd just sort of casually say: "Hey, do you wanna catch a movie with me? I've been wanting to see........"    Take it from there.  OR
    "You wanna go for coffee after work tomorrow? Or dinner?"
    
    Then you could either meet them there or make other arrangements.

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       and yes taking it casual is the best,, time to know each other, come to think of it, a date is a date -- a way to know each other so even the asking part is a signal to know the other person..

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    rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

    I think the woman just needs to be herself. I think it doesn't have so much to do with boldness, but a woman feeling good about who she is, a self confidence that attracts the man in a way in which he wants to be with you.

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Right, being "natural" is the game, if it sounds like you are trying to be bold, then it may sound not you, it could be fun if we just present who we are and act naturally, (me, might get nervous, LOL)

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    King Larryposted 14 years ago

    pay for a date? are you serious?  to be honest, king larry doesn't know the meaning of the word PAY.  no, on every date, im on with a chick, i always make sure she knows a few things about me.  1)I'm an honest jerk and I can be brutally honest...pinhead!  2)Neither of us pays for jack.  No, what I do is have us order like the most expensive crap on the menu we can think of, then I lie to the waiter that I'm like some sort of food review critic, and they give us free food, since they want a favorable review. wink wink. 
    
    If that don't work, then I always make sure I carry a dead rat or bug inside a pouch and put it on like my desert and complain about it, so the restaurant will give us that meal for free to shut us up.  Or there's the classic method...pretend you both have to use the restroom, and RUN!  hahahahaha

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       mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       wow - you'd be so much fun to come home to! 

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          King Larryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          don't you know it baby.

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             SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             ...poppin' in for a moment....can i come on the date too?.....it'd be fun...............and order the best bubbly too....a few bottles.....one for runnin' out the door with....yeehaw! 
             
             King Larry, you're the best!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       you may end up both in jail which is segregated, you can't see your date, or end up washing the dishes..BTW, you're funny,

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    jcalesposted 14 years ago

    depends on the guy being asked. For example, you may want to take it slow, he thinks it's going fast or rejects you thinking less of you.  tough call.

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I think so, most of the guys are also shy in asking women for date and vice versa..and there maybe some cultural differences but differences individually.

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    Greek Oneposted 14 years ago

    How can I blame them for thinking they are ready for this jelly?

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       LOL< Greek One, hows your baby?

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          Greek Oneposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          full of colic.. haven't slept in a month.. please kill me

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             mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

             did you try chamomile tea - for the baby - valerian tea for you?

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             prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Welcome to parenthood, get some sleep when you can..

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             1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             i would be only to happy to oblige u greek daddy u seem stonedfaced to much dope,say pour fur vore adios amigos.

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    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    You'll never know unless you ask.
    The worst they can say is no and that would be their loss!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       good one..

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       chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Logic, how would they loss?

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    awareposted 14 years ago

    being asked by a woman  to go out is refreshing i think,   id smile and say of course i will

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Will you be happy to pay for it Ray? always, sometimes, it depends??

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    awareposted 14 years ago

    lol paying for the bill is easy paying for it as far as emotional  stress is the big bill

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh, be positive Ray...Things get better always..

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    awareposted 14 years ago

    im jaded esp lately

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       ok, take your time then, it will come and you will smile I am sure..

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    chinweikeposted 14 years ago

    I see nothing wrong with. But I felt shy and humbled the first time that a lady asked me, because i actually had interest in the lady but was waiting for the perfect time to ask here out which never came.
    Thank God she eventually did!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Good for you..

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          chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah, good for me. As i wouldn't have imagined not having that life changing date with her.

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    DevLinposted 14 years ago

    I prefer the woman asks. Could be why I haven't had a date in three years, though. Kids are trying to help. Glad they live in another state.

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    Tilecleaninghubposted 14 years ago

    I think a woman should never ask.  Suggest, hint etc and if he dont get it then he is just too stupid.  If a woman asks a guy out then you get the whole confusion of who drives, who pays, who is going to be on top in bed.  Just a real hassle.

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       1eyedixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       i like the bed part i think

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25. 59

    zzronposted 14 years ago

    I think it's okay for a woman to ask a guy out on a date. The worst that can happen is that he might say no. You could indicate that you're going Dutch. It's not as though you're going to get married on the first date.

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