Outdated? You wish. Instincts may be muted ~slightly~ but they never die. Brenda's points are valid, and clear.
Forgive me, ladies; I had no intention of posting here (because this is SO none of my business), I was following a thread and found this question fascinating. Evidently, for far different reasons than camlo did.
Instinctive male or female dominance is very rare in primates, and certainly does not exist in humans.
Due to high intelligence, humans are able to adjust behaviour according to environment and circumstance.
However, 'instinct' is often used as an excuse for many forms of behaviour, whether that 'instinct' exists or not (a man appointing himself head of the house, taking control of family members, demanding more food than the others, spending the money he earns for the family on booze for himself, inflicting sex on his woman whether she wants it or not ...).
BTW, I too found the subject of this thread interesting, which is why I took a look. I replied to Brenda Durham's message, because I was curious to know exactly what she meant. It was her reply that led to something that actually belongs in another thread. Okay?
What attracts a woman to another woman? A man, of course!
Adam was sittin' in the garden, thinking. He looked up, and said. "Dad? Why did you make women so beautiful?" Lord said "So that you would love them." Adam thought, then said, "Why did you make them so dumb?" And God said, "So that they might love you, too." (True Story)
I'm not answering to this but I've noticed how stupid many of these replies are, most of them not answering the question--what attracts a woman to another woman! The question was to list facts not argue about who has heterophobia. What the heck kind of word is that? Who cares what people are?....is it us to judge? Do you judge EVERYONE by EVERYTHING? duh
Heterophobia describes reverse discrimination based on sexual orientation and implies an irrational fear of or aversion toward heterosexual people and institutions. Coined as a direct analogy to homophobia, "heterophobia" is used by some opponents to various legal and civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people, when is used instead of heterosexism.
yeah like this is the reason people want to have sex with the same kind, to aggravate others
Personality counts in a major way. Having many things in common. Sharing beliefs and ideas, and tastes...wow, there are so many things, I'd need a hub to ...sorry gotta go, just had a great idea for a hub!
On the surface it is her looks, her way of taking you in. Her reaction. But really it is her interest. It might be just friendship, or loneliness. It might be merely company of someone similar who can share some things, but not all things. She might be inexperienced and in the closet. She might need the different kind of friend who understands her and tolerates her habits and tendencies in the way that other people might be um...embarrassed or put off by. She would be attracted to any woman who fits the mold of an attractive and understanding woman who can sustain her deep feelings and desires. She might also have little experience and craves the protective friendship of a stronger woman who has the confidence that she lacks but could learn about, safely.
Women can have gay woman friends who they may never have gay relationships with and can instead - just have crushes. Women can have women friends who are simply true platonic friends, and sexuality never arises. Some women love having gay women friends and yet give no thought to what goes on below a woman's waistline. Some will run a mile from a full-on lesbian, but be okay around the more straight-acting type of gay woman. It is a million things perhaps. Women are just amazing. Anyone who has read a small number of my hubs will have some idea. The thing is, not to be scared or afraid of it, or think that it's alien love or whatever. For some women, life is torture and lacking any personal fulfillment - or feel like "Hell" for them till they meet that one person who suddenly makes them realise who they have always been - but had simply denied or suppressed it. Finding someone who is loving and understanding can mean all the difference in life, for a woman or a man.
I have lots of women friends but Im not attracted to them in a sexual way..why? because I am a sexy woman give me a sexy man any day...although I must say that I have been told the ultimate sexual experience for a womam is with another woman..aparantly women know just where a woman likes to be touched ...well,taking that into consideration,so does my man so I wil stick to him for now !!
Well, we can say the same about men: Do men ordinarily set light on their own farts? Fortunately men only are stereotyped for these kinds of jokes. Rightly so, it would be grossly impolitely for human beings to make jokes about women giving birth for example. Which reinforces the reason why woman to woman love and attraction is so pure and genuine. As they say, you can critique a person or their work if you're an expert at it.
Rosario, luckily because of Female influence we have cleaned up our act a bit. I do want your opinion on something. As a guy I have the mind set that males are typically straight or gay, while women have a much higher chance of being bisexual. What do you think? Thanks, Gary
Is that a fact Gary? If your statistics are correct, I'd say, because women have children. And men don't. A woman with a child, lesbian or not, automatically puts the male element in the equation. So if the woman is lesbian, she is forever classed bisexual, since she cannot hide the fact that she had sex with a man. Whereas, a man could have had hundreds of homosexual partners and no one would necessarily know.
I don't know if it's a fact, just looking for opinions. Very good points!!! I just feel that If a guy has relations with both men and women, the women is quite often there for social reasons, while women may feel strongly for both genders, but I could be totally wrong since this scenario is a turn on for a lot of us guys, my opinions could be skewed. Please don't consider this an insult in any way.
I think your question asks more about the male mindset than about bisexuality.
I want to say first of all that I am not a man-basher. I LOVE men. To a fault, even. They're amazing and I could NOT live without them. Seriously. And I know a lot of people assume someone who is bi is equally attracted to both genders. I am NOT. I lean very heavily toward the male side as far as preference goes. Men are great.
Most men (I'm generalizing) seem to have very close-minded views on sexuality, whether it be hetero, homo, or bi. Most men assume a man is either gay or straight, and assume a woman is bi. This is why men seem to be shocked and totally disbelieving when women aren't interested in MFF threesomes. It is assumed we are all into women, maybe because women (generalizing again) have no problem with openly expressing affection (if we hug another woman, obviously we want to have sex with her, right?).
I think that as much as I respect and love and adore men, I see them (GENERALLY and in reference to hetero men) as very narrow-minded, and usually extremely resistant to even considering that not all women are bisexual or are even willing to go there "just to try it".
Also, I know the assumption most people have (and woman think this too) is that men CAN'T be bisexual. It is assumed that if a man has sex with another man, he HAS to be gay. That the sex he also has with women is fake.
I think it comes down to whether or not you choose to believe the "popular" opinion (which, in my opinion, is usually wrong) or explore the issue and look for facts.
The fact is, both men and women can be bisexual. Both men and women can be homosexual. Both men and women can be heterosexual. And I don't think that one or two experimental encounters determines sexual orientation. If it did, almost every single straight person EVER would be gay or bisexual and almost every single gay person EVER would be straight.
Wendy, thank you for your reply, I am going to make it brief because I type slowly, and am leaving for a meeting, I am sorry if I insulted you in any way, You are right that generally, we men don't know enough about women, but we do learn by asking questions. I have always believed there is no such thing as a stupid question, it's only stupid not to ask questions. I don't think you are a man basher, and I am not at all a women basher. Please chech out my hub when you have some time, I am new at this, so please be patient. Perhaps we will talk again soon, and enjoy the rest of your day!!
So true especially the last paragraph, Wendy. I admit my previous comment was very specific, not to mention has a couple of typos which I can't figure out how to delete. Thank you for elaborating, expressing your thoughts about this most interesting topic.
Hmmm...interesting thread. It's funny how it went all heterophobic/homophobic instead of just exploring the myriad of answers to the question. If the question had been "What attracts a woman to a man?" or "what attracts a man to a woman?", sexual orientation would not have come into play. And then, if the question had been "what attracts a man to another man?", things would have gotten so very, very ugly. As a bisexual woman, I'm attracted to women for the same reasons I'm attracted to men; just the anatomical parts are different. I'm not looking for marriage or commitment, so maybe I don't know anything but if I'm attracted to a man, it's an attraction--primarily physical, at least in the beginning--based on the aspects of his looks that appeal to me. I don't have a "type" or a list of standards or anything, and often I'm surprised at what attracts me. The same is true for my attraction to a woman.
WendyU says "often I'm surprised at what attracts me". That is a very interesting thing to say 'cause as with myself, well, I've always been sure of what I wanted and with whom I'm attracted to. I am attracted to the feminine gender. Once I was even attracted to a feminine performer who I discovered later was a gay guy.. But that's what I mean, I am attracted to gender, not the physical per se. So you could say, I am mentally a lover of femininity, if that makes sense.
Thank you, makes a lot of sense, please don't think I am even suggesting that all women some how need a man emotionally. We should all do what works for us. As you know some of my views may stir up some controversy!! Have a great day!!
Knowing what I want does not mean, it's always working for me. This is where everyone is the same, no matter your sexual preference, you still have to move on and go with the flow. guyy, great T-shirt designs!! Why don't you sell them on Facebook. See Cheeky Girl's article on how to do it.
It all depends on who that woman is attracted to. There are so many things that women seem to become to attracted too when it comes to falling for the same sex. We see alot of things that we like because we are used to the same features.
I am straight, but I have several lesbian friends. What makes a woman attractive, is confidence, not arrogance. I connect with women on many levels. Kids, career interests, food, spirtuality, relationships.
My friends are unique like me. They have many things to offer by way of friendship and love. If I were a man, what attracts me to a lady would be her personality, appearance, demeanor, their ability to carry themselves in conversation. Of course how loyal and trustworthy they are.
Arrogance is never an attractive characteristic. I guess you don't have to be a man to be attracted to those positive characteristics that you mentioned. Attraction does not have to refer to sexual attraction all the time. Liking, noticing or simply observing are, in a sense, a form of attraction. Positive connections are great in all forms.
It is kinda interesting that most of the people who intentionally strayed thru here intentionally bypassed the question.. Pls keep it real folks! Well, I've never been with a woman but I have been attracted.. I'm comfortable with this and I am not a label. So what is/would be the attraction for me..? Plain and simple: CHEMISTRY. It needs no further explanation.
The first thing I look at when I meet another woman is her eyes. The eyes have it all. The rest of the body is like an afterthought, generic at best. I notice too if she has laughlines around her eyes and mouth. A positive attitude and a great sense of humor go a very long way to encourage a healthy relationship. At a distance, I watch how she moves to learn if she has grace, and poise--a sense of style, or is instead a clumsy duck. I prefer either swans or tigers. This is what attracts (or repels) this woman to another woman.
It's really nice to hear your ideas and tastes everyone. Smiles to you Lisa... I'd like to share a video with you from Fingersmith http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQfvvbgu … re=related . I think this love scene with Elaine Cassidy is just so hot, I just have to share it with you guys in this thread.
I know I am straight and had fallen in love to opposite sex several times, but there are women that I really admire. I like this lady because she is pretty, the longer you look at her the more you see beauty in her... young women that dances gracefully also attracts me... knowing a pretty down to earth women really fascinated me... there's this one that I really like that an officemate often told I am a semi lesbian but I am sure I am not.. maybe I just like her type of beauty and what she is capable of doing...
Fist of all, let me declare that I consider myself straight. Any long term relationship I have, I wish to have with a man. With that said, I have a strong sexual attraction to women as well as men. I like sex. I like all things sexual in nature. What I like in a woman? I like a woman who is confident but not overbearing, beautiful and feminine. I like great tits, and I like her to have curves. But the most important thing to me is that she be comfortable with her body, and comfortable with mine. Any time I picture myself in a threesome situation, of just solo with another woman, she is very into bringing me pleasure, and happy to let me return the favor. As far as being attracted to women outside of the sexual parameters, I like the same things in women that I like in men: Honesty, sense of self, intelligence and confidence, but above all, kindness in all actions.
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