Have you ever noticed?
You are not imagining it Dale. I too have felt that the 'helpful' responses from those few individuals are rude and condescending. I try to avoid those "enlightened ones".
I can't imagine having enough time in my day to spend perusing forums with an attitude.
Why in the world would anyone want to spend all day switching back
and forth between real life and such passive/aggressive 'helping?' It's the adult version
of bullying and it's quite a sad situation for them; in reality, it's called 'displaced anger
(and/or utter sadness and displeasure with one's own personal life)'.
Life is oh, so precious--too precious to spend on forums in the manner--and most troubling--the FREQUENCY that some do: this from someone whose own husband dropped dead unexpectedly
and week before Christmas (try telling 11 y/o twin boys their dad was gone forever with a Christmas tree in the background) .
So, yeah I know a few things about how real life is literally a minute-by-minute gift. Spend it wisely
and thoughtfully, folks.
Feel empathy for these folks; they can't sort their feelings enough to fix whatever it is
that's really bothering them. I wish I could reach out to many of those that are troubled,
I really do. SO sad.
Hello HomeArtist1.
I deeply regret not having responded to this post when I first saw it. Moments ago I remembered reading it, and raced back to write to you. You make some very valid and worthy points. Please don't think they went unnoticed.
I agree with you 100% .. about everything. I received a phone call very close to last Christmas saying one of my adult children who lived interstate was dying and I feared I might not make it to her bedside in time. Since then it has been a major task to keep her alive. Fortunately in our case, she has had unexpected improvement.
With that pain still real and raw, I simply can't imagine how dreadful it must have been to have lost your husband ... and to break the news to your children at Christmas. It seems so unfair that a time that should be happy and exciting for your kids will forever be marred by their dad's death.
You are absolutely right, HomeArtist1. Life is oh, so precious.
What a compassionate woman you are, wishing you could reach out to many of those who are troubled. I have no doubt they could benefit from your strength and experience.
I look forward to seeing more of your posts on forums, and I promise never to leave your words unacknowledged again. Of course I'm not on the forums very often, but hopefully others will also keep an eye out for your words of wisdom.
I'll be thinking of your family at Christmas. Take care.Answering your last post will take this thread off topic, Lionrhod, so I will email you when I get a few spare minutes.
Well to be fair, i wasn't referring to all hubbers in my last post. However, i do see what you mean though, as I too have had some bad experiences on hubpage forums; sometimes through no fault of my own. Granted, I'm not going to lie and say that I've been a saint throughout my time on this site either, but there have been times where I've found myself in a conflict with someone on forums, when I wasn't even trying to offend anyone.
For instance, I said "the Matrix" trilogy sucked and it was overrated to someone, when I was just joking around. And through no fault of my own, I found myself being attacked by a couple of hubbers, who I wasn't even talking to, and they started questioning my competence and intellect to comprehend the movies themselves. It's laughable because it's like those two idiots fail to comprehend that ALL MOVIES are subjective; hence if you don't like a movie that someone else loves, then it does NOT make you stupid. It just means you have different tastes. Nothing more or less. Anyone who says otherwise is a moron...like the two hubbers that I just referenced for instance, but I won't embarrass them by citing their names on here like I could, as they know who they are. Besides, what kind of person would I be if I tried to shame them when they weren't around to defend themselves? Plus, it's in the past anyway, so who cares?
However, I do want to tell you that not all hubbers are like the ones your probably describing. It's just that most hubbers won't talk to someone they don't know fairly well. If you want to make friends and form your own clique on hubpages, or join a clique, then there are ways you can do that.
Like if you open up a forum asking hubbers how adsense or whatever works, then that's one way you can get hubbers to talk to you. Or if you want to do one of those random hubpage forums like "the last person to post wins" or whatever, you can always try to say hi to people on there and see what happens. Granted, you won't get a response most of the time if they don't know you, but sometimes you might. And if you do, then try to make the most of it by starting up a conversation. Participate in forum topics that interest you.
If you see a hubber on hubpages that talks about topics you like, and you decide to check out their profile to check out their writing. You can comment in some of their hubs, and you can usually start to develop a rapport with someone that way.
Granted, I know none of these methods are guaranteed to make people on here talk to you, but they can work sometimes to make friends on here, as I did that when I first started out on this site, and it did work for a while. Although it's been ages since I've been active on this site regularly through forums, but if things are close to being the same as they used to be, then it's worth a shot.
I think the thing you should take from what I'm saying is that you shouldn't let a few bad apples ruin you from meeting some of the good hubbers out here on this site. I'm sure you'll find your own clique on hubpages. You just haven't found it yet. However, once you find your own clique, then I think you'll be fine.
Another word of advice though is that it might be best not to take things too personal on this site, as many hubbers kind of have a motto about if you get offended by what they say, then it's your fault because you chose to be offended. Granted, I can see their point, but it's kind of a flawed logic to some degree as well if you think about it.
However, the thing is sometimes some hubbers that criticize you will think what they're saying is harmless even though it's not, and if you get offended by it, then they'll see it as you choosing to be offended. My advice to you is try not to take what most people in forums tell you too personally, as sometimes the hubber you may be talking to might seem like they're talking down to you, but that might not be their intention. Just don't let anyone get under your skin, and just be yourself. Even if you don't succeed at making friends on here, then nobody can take that away from you.
And if all that doesn't work and people still hate you, then "f*** them." Haters going to hate. Or like James Franco said in "The Interview", "They hate us because they ain't us!"
(joke) Sorry, I wanted to end my comment on a high note to make everyone here laugh. I hope it worked. 
I don't feed trolls, however I do feed those that this post is directed at.
Edit: Also, most of the time it is not a reportable offense. It is the attitude and the looking down upon others that is reflected that shows a total lack of respect and proves the ones responding have absolutely no professionalism in any part of the mind, soul or body.Phyllis, Long time no see. There is a more apt phrase to use regarding such people; however, this phrase is quite bannable! Here's a synopsis of the situation at hand:
There are THOSE who simply love to psychologically undermine other's sense of self and worth. They really do not care about others but THEMSELVES. They contend that they are the supreme ubermenschen. Two come to mind! There was one who each time I posted something, would make a snarky remark. I reported the person and IT STOPPED! People who constantly intrude should be PERMANENTLY BANNED from the forums.
I think the cliques will always be around, lol. I stick my tongue out by opening my lips a tad and let the tongue roll out.
As for doing it here, I have no idea!
Point taken.
I'm usually much flowerier. I apologize for not being more so in my last post.
She said she WAS one of the referenced people. I still have zero clue if she was or not. If she's not, I'm sorry she thinks she is.
If she was - and I do NOT know that this is the case, then coming in with a slightly more apologetic tone might have been useful.
Something like, "wow, I had no clue I was coming off like that. I try to be helpful..." etc.
As I said to her, I do NOT know if she is one of the "accused".
Forgive me, I'm getting tired of this entire thread and need to retire from it and get it off "followed."
I know it wasn't meant to be that way, but at this point the thread is starting to get witch-hunty.
DEAR FOLKS: If you KNOW you are one of these mentioned, say you're sorry, strive to do better and lets all try to get past this.Oh my gosh, can you imagine if this whole thread had been just your bottom sentence?
"DEAR FOLKS: If you KNOW you are one of these mentioned, say you're sorry, strive to do better and lets all try to get past this."
To the point, yet non offensive. You should be a HP's ambassador. Some of us (and I'm talkin' 'bout me here...) don't have the sense to put a cap on something when it's time to shut something down.
I applaud your last post.Are names allowed to be mentioned for something like this? I actually saw someone mention one hubber and say she xxxxxxxx, and I was like, hey, is that allowed?
If names could be named I would have no problem (although brave isn't the word I would use) naming them, at least one of them. Another one I know of I (and no it's not you) wouldn't name because personally I haven't seen what others have.
Marissa...since my arrival here I have only seen you as helpful, and actually pay attention when you say something as you seem to look at all sides of an issue. I have seen you clarify, and correct, but never act out of line. That is ONLY my opinion as I can only speak for myself
I find the terseness of your response and use of ellipses condescending and rude.
j/k
If you don't mind me asking...what does the little a mean on the left side of your picture? Also, your comment really did cheer up my day so thank you
Hi Kalifina. If you reply to any particular post, and in the posting box, click on formatting under the box to the right. Scroll down till you see all the smileys and copy the code, such as : and ) for a
or a : and a ( for a 
or whatever. Cheers! Haha Thank you! Some of these smilies are just hilarious
Cheers indeed!Ah hahaha - you found them. They are quite amazing!
I can say that you are not one that I refer to Barbara.
You're not one of the three for me either, Barbara
.I agree with Dale, Barbara - you are definitely not one of them.
Such people are found just about everywhere, Dale. I am relatively new here, and I frequent very few social networks, but they do exist wherever there is humanity.
The best thing for our own sanity is to ignore what seems pointless and attention-seeking. There will always be those who know more than us and those who know less, and those who truly know more definitely know that they know very little.Good point Dale. I lost my appetite arguing here on forums. I only like to argue only in real life. This was my last comment on a forum. Promise
The world has more than a few too many "Lucy Van Pelts' in it. When people who think like Lucy does just feel free to come across like Lucy does it comes across as abrasive. When People who hide their Lucy-ness under a nicer seeming veneer then it comes across as condescending.
Sometimes I think, though, that all the non-Lucy Van Pelts of the world are so sick of all those Lucy's, a lot of non-Lucy's can sometimes see a Lucy Van Pelt when the person really isn't one.
Of course, when a Lucy knows what she's talking about it's a matter of tone. When a Lucy doesn't know what she's talking about, that particular Lucy is the very blockhead that she needs/wants to think everyone else is.
With all the former Squids on HP I don't know who anyone here is referring to or thinking of. On a forum like this, I just think anyone who comes across to one or another person has a Lucy should be given the benefit of doubt and either ignored or else seen as "meaning well". In offline life it's different, but on a place like this a lot of people (Lucy's, Linus's, or who-ever else) just think it's efficient to say what they think is correct and not have to candy coat their idea of "straight, sound, and to the point". I really don't think too many people on a forum like this really intend to come across as a "Lucy Van Pelt". Offline, the "genuine" Lucy's can create some real problems (which may be why so many people come to forums like this with their Lucy radar picking up what may/may not really be a Lucy.
(Sure hope I came across more like a Linus, Charlie Brown, Sally, Snoopy or anyone other than a Lucy with my remarks here. )Hi, Solaris. It's not ignorance at all. I'm guessing you just haven't spent much time watching the Peanuts (Charlie Brown - by Charles Schulz) cartoon specials (or reading the Peanuts Comic Strips). Lucy Van Pelt is the bossy and unpleasant/unlikable sister of the little-boy character, Linus. She's also known for being the one who would do something to make sure Charlie Brown's attempts to kick the football fail and frequently calling Charlie Brown, "You Blockhead". She's also the one known for hanging a sign out to advertise her own giving "psychology" advice to everyone else for five cents.
(Since you weren't familiar with her, I suppose that's a lot more info about her than you really wanted/needed. Anyway, she pretty much represents the bossy "kid" in a group who runs from being civil to being horrendously rude and obnoxious; and in all my almost-seven years on HP, I can't really say I've seen a whole lot of "intentional-Lucy's" on here (at least, I don't think I have. ). Then again, I tend to be more of a Linus (I think) - willing to ignore the Lucy's of the world and, yes, occasionally being willing to do the equivalent of sitting out on the occasional dark Halloween, waiting for the Great Pumpkin that never shows up "Better, a Linus than a Lucy," I always say. "Better an anyone, than a Lucy," for that matter, as far as I'm concerned. But, again, I really think that on these forums (or anywhere where words are typed, rather than spoken), most often coming across like a Lucy is really that problem of typing's not having the benefit of tone.
Victoria Lynn, I think the capital 'p'
requires the thumbs stuck in the ears and the fingers waggling. The little 'p' works well without the thumbs and fingers :p. How do you do the thumbs and fingers?
In all seriousness, Dale Hyde, as I read your initial post to this thread, I had to agree that there have been community members whose delivery style in text is more than a little off putting. I'm sure I may have offended a few here or there without intending to, but I like to think it's not the earmark of all of my interactions.
However, the point is well taken that in the case of a few, a small handful, interaction with them in the forums and other places on HP seems to require field armor in order to ward off the barbs in their commentary. For some this may be a common means of communication within the social circles which they travel. I can think of more than a few states in the US for whom terseness and "rudeness" is a common complaint from outsiders but it's not a problem to the natives of that locale.
In my personal and professional interactions I find that those with whom conversation is notably uncomfortable, a wide berth is the most appropriate tack to take. I've always found it appropriate to tell customers on the phone who are intent on kicking the cat or dog, that I'm happy to help them but they will have to change their attitude. Some people won't give a rats patoutie if people avoid their attempts at conversation, others will do the math and tailor their interactions to a less painful reception on the part of other members, especially if it isn't their intent to offend.
Thank you for bringing up the subject and mustering the degree of tack and diplomacy you have. It's the problem we want to address, after all, and not attack the individuals. In the case of the latter one descends to the same level as the one being attacked....and such a critical piece of information Lucy and Linus' last name is.
(I can't say I know what Pig Pen's last name is, though. Guess it doesn't matter for this thread. ). (Of course, I'm not too thrilled with the frequently rude attitude of Bert (of "Bert and Ernie") either (unless Bert's mellowed since my Sesame Street-watching days).
Oh well... benefit of doubt or not, I do know that every so often some uncalled-for stuff can show up on things like these forums. I'm not saying it's always "innocent".
What a delightful way to send out good feelings. Flowers, sunshine and butterflies to you, too, and hugs.
Reminds one of the snooty cliques in high school. They are the queens, kings, and LEGENDS........in THEIR minds while they disdain the rest of us as peons......WELL NOT! There are sadly THOSE who NEVER progressed beyond the high school level. SAD REALLY!Thank you.
I like this explanation. This is the first I've seen of someone taking the time to think through a cultural norm and explain it in a logical fashion. Yes, having a ton of things to get done and one idiot holding up the line thus preventing my getting on with things makes for a rant worthy of a lava explosion. I've been guilty of the tech service thing more than once, to my shame. I seem to get to the end of the diatribe with a solution long before the person telling me their tale and become impatient. I could stand to learn from a couple of my friends who have mach speeds going on upstairs to my turtle crawl down the cerebral highway. But, they never let me know that I'm holding them up.
A person really on the ball puts a safety guard over them dang buttons. Of course, I don't have any buttons. *thumbs in ears and fingers waggling* [yup my own brand of sarcasm]
Yes, searching the learning center can be a challenge. I appreciate when someone provides a link. I appreciate more when after viewing the link someone helps me out with more information once I make it clear that I still have questions after reading the link.It is certainly not about you, Cardisa. You are one of the kind helpful ones.
Good grief!!! If I have ever offended anyone, forgive me. I try to be amicable and helpful.
Can't forgive you Phyllis, sorry! Reason? Well, you are not one who has been offensive.
Cool, Cardisa - we are in the clear.
LOL I knew it was not you now I know it is not me. ROTFL
I'm finding this giggle-worthy too, because a) I'm imagining any number of math-inclined folks attempting to "math out" who and/or how many people are among the guilty or maybe-not-really-guilty parties; as well as whether x number of other people all have the same x number of guilty parties in mind.
And b), though, (and I don't know who else but suspect many) would recall these forums a few years ago, when there would be whole "exciting", mystery, threads that were aimed at "outing" one sock-puppet or another.
(Nothing like a little idle entertainment on a late Friday afternoon. Oh, and if a "legitimate discussion" is involved too, all the better (although "all the not-quite-as-hilarious-as-the-old-sockpuppet-outings" too, I suppose. )
Wow, a lot said after my early morning post to the thread. I am just in from work drinking of of those sparkling fruit waters (works well for us diabetics!) and catching up.
Again, it is good to know that none of us stand alone in our thoughts on this and I do appreciate everyone expressing their opinions on all levels. This has been a great and stress releasing forum post for me.
I will never name names as that simply is not professional. These folks know who they are and that is why, so far, as others have noted, they have not appeared in this thread as of yet.
For a solution to this problem, I am not sure just what can or will be done, but from the number of members here who are sharing in this post I feel someone's attention may be gotten at some point. If not and change is not made, at least, as some have stated, we have had the opportunity to vent and that is healthy without any doubt.Dale, I think the most important thing about this thread is that we now know it is not unique to any of us, we all see the same thing (well, most of us) - and that should give us all the ability and common sense to ignore the ones who cause problems. I no longer respond to them and that has relieved a lot of stress for me.
So, please, no one throw actual stones at me. I totally understand you pov Dale. No one wants to be belittled when they have made themselves vulnerable... but here's the thing.
This has got to be the absolute definition of first word problems, right? lol I mean, we are all sitting on our duffs, most likely in our reasonably comfy homes, or what have you... we are on an optional discussion forum... and we have filled 10 pages now with our sorrowful tale.
Again, I do understand, but ... and maybe it has to do with the fact that we're writers... we tend to drag a point on and on until no one even remembers what was on page one, without scrolling back. I think the point has been well established, it has gained much support and momentum until the "victims" have become the "bullies". You know what I mean? I mean you did say you were talking about a small group, and I'm sure I can smell the oil from the burning torches... maybe we could just... you know... talk about cats... or whatever ppl do on the internet when they're not squabbling. lol
So I am going to get the snot beat out of me for this, right? But maybe it had to be said. Hugs and kisses and rainbows for everyone still!!!No stone throwing, lol. However, I do believe HP likes threads like this due to the fact that HP likes Adsense. There are two ads at the bottom of each page that I can see. 28 followers of this discussion and who knows how many others have read the 10 pages of shared thoughts and opinions. I do know that there are some good ad impressions going on and who knows, someone may click an ad and make HP some profit!
Anyway, there is a new thought... not cats or rainbows, which are both nice, but revenue for HP, and mind you, not shared revenue so they get the full whammy!No, I understand. I am just saying... take your sentence... "Why should I continue to be silent?"
Well, you haven't. I think it's all been said, don't you? Should we reiterate it again on one more page by the same posters? Or how bout two more pages? Or maybe someone could just do a final sum up of all the feelings expressed?
lol... Don't be offended... I don't even belong on this thread. But when I see the torches and the rope, I have this weird need to encourage ppl to take down the gallows and go home, you know? lol
I think the point has been made, I'll leave y'all to it though. Have a good night.
Beth - Where is my old pal, Will Apse - there was a man who could stand his ground in an argument against the mob?
Did he get a proper job?
Couldn't find a glittery vampire. I'm never on time for anything so forget the Time Lord thing.
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