Have you ever noticed?
Good point, and this at least shows some intelligence, thoughtfulness and restraint.
We are all supposed to be adults here-- many have advanced educational backgrounds, and have studied extensively in many areas. Most of us are able to maintain our self-respect and confidence, despite any intended or perceived slights and insults, while considering the other merits of a message.
We can choose to ignore, or reply with gratitude for the positive aspects of the communication.
I would wholly support anyone who condemns any perceived bullying, demeaning and disrespect of children, young teens, and people with disabilities or mental impairments, but-- again-- we are grown-ups. and there's nothing wrong with kittens and cupcakes -- for those that like them.
Peace.I have read many of these 14 pages, but not all so perhaps I've missed something important. I recognise one of the people referred to, but I have no idea who the others are.
I know that recently I saw a comment someone thought was rude, and I didn't think it was. When I said I'd never seen an offensive comment from that hubber (and offered the context of possible cultural differences), I was told it had been happening in other threads. Obviously I don't spend enough time on the forums to have noticed - or else I have a different idea of what's offensive. (Perhaps, again, due to cultural differences.)
I agree with makingamark's observation though. When I visit the forums I consider it inappropriate when a serious thread (not this one, but others I've seen in the past) suddenly become the playground of people posting unrelated pics and personal banter ... page ... after page ... after page. (I sometimes wonder if it would bother me so much if I had mainstream internet instead of slow-loading satellite, but I think it still would.) It seems to undermine the validity of the op's message or query and, in my opinion, is disrespectful to the participants who respond to an alert of a new comment, simply to find more idle chat.
No doubt I've written something on a forum at some time that's upset someone. It certainly wouldn't have been deliberate - just as I'm sure personal banter and lots of unrelated pics aren't posted to deliberately annoy me.
Perhaps someone might start a forum thread where we can all list 'Proposed rules for avoiding upsetting anyone on forums'. If we actively tried to follow all the rules, I suspect very few of us would ever bother posting.
For my part, I spend less and less time on the forums. I do believe, however, these forums can be extremely useful when they are active and vibrant. It would be a shame if those with experience and knowledge are made to feel unwelcome. I'm not sure who else would take the time and make the effort to respond to as many questions as the hubbers whose names I've seen most often.
Perhaps all the forum regulars feel unwelcome. Is anyone planning on sending emails to clear up their confusion?
Thank you Dale, I am one of the silent voice in here. I didn't post much except a few times when I saw some ex squids get harassed by those we shall not name. The worst part is seeing these people making hubs or hijacking the comment section on their own hubs to freely continue those personal attacks (oh and they speak freely on bubblews as well). I have seen some with them actually naming names. That should not be tolerated by HQ.
I do report them tho. And I also can tell you that their behavior is smudging the HP community. What I found disturbing is the total lack of moderation by Hubpage.
Omnivorous mammals in the hen-house are always a dangerous thing if not taken care of swiftly. Although I understand that some so call experts are afraid of the influx of knowledge coming from squidoo, this is not a reason for bullying and scare tactics.
PS: now waiting for the personal attacks on Bubblews or some Hubpage comment section
Otherwise I have to say that many of you are truly nice and worth learning from, unfortunately the 2 or 3 we are all thinking about here ruins it for everyone: old Hubpage members as well as the new squidoo members.I will the resist the urge to be Australian and suppress my laughter. I responded to a comment by makeamark in the spirit in which I thought the thread was operating, but clearly I missed some significant events in the pages I didn't read.
So, I missed your attempt at lightening the mood, Sed-me. Seems I arrived in time for the opposite reaction. I'm guessing you must have posted pictures. (Still not laughing. At least, doing my best.)
I've made one post on this thread. I can't be bothered going back to see who 'Y'all' might be. I am finding myself being reminded very much of high school right now though. Am I right in thinking you don't agree with my opinion? Or are you upset that others don't agree with your opinion? That bit confuses me.
Ah well, I guess this is just further evidence that posting a comment on a forum should be approached with extreme caution. (Just a smile, not a chuckle!)Well that's a relief. I hope that means I'm excluded from "Y'all". The timing of your response appeared to embrace me in your outburst. Thanks for clearing that up, Sed-me.
I believe it is perfectly natural for people to have differences of opinion ... and to express them. I actually thought this was the place where we were all supposed to safely offer our thoughts. There you go, silly Australian! (Hope it is not considered racist and worthy of a ban if I poke fun at myself. Cultural thing ... you might have to be an Aussie to appreciate it.)
lol
That's funny. I had already decided not to post anymore and add to the length of this thread, but here I am sharing that I am no longer going to add to the length of the thread. lol... I don't even remember what Dale's initial post said, but his intentions were probably not bad, right? Just wanted to get something off his chest... but here we are, 14 pages later, still griping. Oh well... thanks for letting me add my 2 cents and don't forget there's a water bucket right beside the fire for future use. I wish you all well.I loved your 'I'm posting that I won't be posting..' It reminds me of a movie where the guy was like 'she should have called to say she wasn't going to call so I would have known she wasn't going to call.' Also, water buckets don't seem exciting enough for someone who has a sense of humor like yours. Super soakers? Now that would be an interesting way to mentally douse off fiery comments.
In all seriousness I do believe you should read Dale's initial post if for no other reason then out of respect for the man. It really took a lot of courage for him to speak with such honesty and it won't take more than a few moments. I guess this is what bothers me about forums is people ignoring what the original writer wanted to say. Feels a bit like watching the end of a movie and saying 'that was the worst film ever!' without seeing the beginning which might change your opinion entirely. Just saying...btw..I did meet an awesome hubpage member through this forum who taught me about Hubpages creative smilies...I still have no idea where to use this one:
"I see the same thing with Relache. She can be very sarcastic - but most of the time, she simply states the facts. Often, she takes the trouble to go and find a helpful part of the Learning Centre and posts a link to it. However, because some Hubbers have experienced the rough edge of her tongue, they can't get over it, and read all her posts as rude rather than simply factual." - Marisa Wright
It is pretty much accurate.
I really appreciate Relache's help in the forums. I have learned a lot from you and her. <3
@psycheskinner - If you think it's a few people being a wee bit rude then :
* EITHER you haven't been reading the discussions that I and a number of other people have been reading (which is entirely possible Who for example ever has the time or makes the effort to read every comment on every thread!)
* OR your definition of rudeness is quite possibly at some variance from the definitions of other people. Again - this is entirely possible. People have different backgrounds, different personalities, live in different cultures and have different thresholds as to what they perceive as rude.
It's entirely possible that what I experienced as out and out harassment you might perceive as somebody being a wee bit rude.
For the record the forums I frequent have nothing in the least bit like what I see on HubPages - I was gobsmacked by the behaviour which people seem to get away with here.
As to the trolls - any troll reading this discussion will now know that a number of other people do not hesitate to report troll type behaviour. If they want to run the risk of being suspended the ball is in their court.
To start that off, I would like to recommend Cardisa, she is always courteous and...oh, that's me! Ooops
I am one for NOT naming names, pro or con here. Let's keep it as clean as it has been, of course with the exception of the one who is famous in a positive manner, Cardisa.
I do apologize for not responding to many of the various comments individually, however, I am following each and every post and am very intrigued by this overwhelming response that shows a solidarity against this border line rule violation bullying.
I had my own thoughts, however, due to the wonderful people here taking time to share their thoughts and opinions, my mind has expanded to accept and understand how this has had an effect on others and in various ways.
Again, and redundantly, and not to bloat the post, expand the post or "mushroom" the post, I would like to thank everyone for their honesty and for expressing themselves! It is awesome in my opinion. I am sure there is some abbreviation for "in my opinion", but I have never enjoyed the FYI, TY, etc., abbreviations.
OK lets stop this right here-- before someone posts another cat picture!
I understand the principle that levity makes tension easier to bear. However, in practice, this can be very difficult for some people to understand.
To my mind it also has other negative implications for those that use levity which may not be helpful to them longer term.
Bottom line you could be badly understood when you attempt to be "funny" in whatever way is your preference in a very serious discussion about a very serious subject
One of the implications of this is that what's seen as inappropriate levity could well lead to you being viewed as a stupid and uncaring person by those who find that levity very inappropriate in a discussion of this nature. Note that I'm NOT saying that you are "stupid and uncaring" but rather suggesting that you might not be aware that this is an impression you can very easily create when you behave in this way.
One of the CONSTRUCTIVE things we are doing in this discussion is making suggestions about other options open to anybody who finds this Forum unfriendly due to the behaviour of a few - in order to handle better the pressures of being harassed and bullied if this is what happens to you.
So here's a short list to which I'm going to add another suggestion.
WAYS TO DEAL WITH THOSE BREAKING THE FORUM RULES ON CONDUCT
1) Ignore them completely - They're attention seekers of the worst kind. However that can mean they just carry on and on and on and on - so make sure you consider (3) too!
2) Do NOT engage with them in a thread. Ditto re.attention seeking - that's what they want you to do.
3) REPORT A POST each and every time you see something that represents harassment or bullying. Familiarise yourself with the Forum Rules ie "personal attacks, hate speech, petty bickering, trolling, and thread hijacking are not tolerated". Make sure that it's a breach of the requirements re. conduct. USE WORDS WHEN REPORTING - don't just tick boxes. Tell HQ how they make you feel - they need to know!
4) REPORT A PERSON if there are just too many posts in a discussion which breach the forum rules.
To do this
* go to the member's profile page and you will find a "report" link in the top right hand corner - just above the social media icons
* If you use this option you really have to IMO use words to explain why you are reporting this individual
* eg reference the Forum discussion by its URL.
* You could also pick up the permalinks (underneath each post) for the worst comments made and also highlight these in your report
* If you have seen the comments carried on in the comments on a hub it's also worth highlighting this too - irrespective of whether or not the hub was created by the person you are reporting.
Here's another very useful suggestion.
5) Try communicating outside the Forum with people you trust if you need to release that tension that builds up inside you,
For example:
* email a buddy
* sound off in a PRIVATE Facebook Group (or other private online group) where you can let off steam. That's what I do and I know very many others do too.
The thing is these "nameless individuals" are much discussed online outside this forum - they're just not discussed in public in this Forum - until now.
So my recommendation would be to find a friendly support person/people and do whatever is appropriate for you to let off steam and release tension in that PRIVATE context - and avoid "looking like a fool" and giving a bad impression to people who might really like you - if you give them a chance.I never thought that was your intent, Dale. I'm also certain that nobody else who has posted here wants to hurt anyone. But yes, if this gets those folks to wake up and behave, that'll be a good thing. And yup, we're finding out that it isn't just one of us or it seems even a minority who feel this way.
I'm actually glad you DID post this, because I was one of several saying, "maybe it's just me" and "maybe I'm imagining things."
ETA I should have been more specific - I never thought HARMING ANYONE was your intent
So far I don't feel bullied or attacked in this thread and I am the OP.
A solution? Many have been offered and all things suggested will probably work for various members depending on the individuals.
Some great advice has come out of the discussion here that will benefit many without any doubts on my part.
What this has offered was an open door for others to share their own experiences to let off steam and discuss a serious issue.
As for the solution I may implement, at this time, I am still unsure. I am dwelling on creating an off site article on one of my "other" places to address this. Not naming the site or this forum and of course not naming any offensive critters (especially kittens). I was thinking along the lines of an article discussing this borderline bullying technique and how it is used without crossing the technical "violation" rules and regulations. Much of what was offered so far in this discussion proves to me that such an article may be well received in the world of Google at some point.
Soon I must retire once again to awaken to go and take care of all those little creatures I work with, the sugar gliders, but I will be checking back in soon.
Thanks again to all who have stood up and expressed themselves as well as being so open with their thoughts and opinions. I hope to see even more posts from members who have not as of yet posted.
Well, Oliver was white when he was a kitten. He's gotten a bit darker in places--and much, much larger!! But very attentive when I was sick. Yes, I look very rough here. But Oliver took care of me.Oh how precious ! I never had white ones but I did have multi colors in a litter, and then I had a all white pup from a stray I raised. His name was simba .
Ha ha. Yes, of course.
I'm sorry but I haven't got a clue what point you are making here.
If you have a relevant point to make which relates to a specific point in another thread it's very helpful if you copy the permalink - each post has a unique one at the bottom of every post - and insert that into your comment in this thread. Saying what the point is also works for me!
That way it's much, much easier for people to understand the point YOU are making.
For the record the permalink is how people can identify specific posts to the HubPages Team if you need to report behaviour. Just identifying a thread as causing a problem is much less helpful to the team than identifying the SPECIFIC comment (or comments) in a thread.
If you pick up the permalink for a comment you pick of the URL of the thread and the suffix which identifies the specific point you want to highlight.
I have always preferred a positive solution to any problem. I've built my writing career on being positive. I really do think that there's always a way over, under, around or through any problem. It's just a matter of finding it and you can if you have the desire to do so. As far as I'm concerned, I like HubPages, and I'm doing my best to meet people and get to know them. I think that makes a big difference in our attitude toward others. After all, we're all writers here, basically on the same level and trying to do the same thing, be paid for what we do. To quote the late inimitable Joan Rivers, "Can We Talk...?"
My guess is that you are indeed one of the three referred to. However, I personally am fond of you. You do get frisky at times, but you have never deliberately tried to deeply hurt or humiliate anyone.
I promised not to comment here anymore on these forums. I never had troubles on forums I couldn't handle. It's swarming of wise guys/girls here. Hubbers don't represent the average street scene, isn't it?
Perhaps we expect too much from these forums here. Communication only through typing can appear harsh sometimes, especially when this is your major occupation. Putting a little love in your typing may help sometimes?
I didn't witness personal attacks on people here yet. But maybe I spent too less time here. For sure any offender will get a digital slap from me.
Practice love and peace, brotha's and sista'sNot necessarily - people may be using different clues to draw different conclusions.
We may all be talking about the same people but just have a different perspective on who they are!
Like I said before if you don't use your own name and any evidence of gender people will interpret and may be correct and may guess wrong.
I know (from conversations elsewhere) that I'm talking about the same people as some people - but as to who others are talking about - I have absolutely no idea. That's because I don't know the individuals and I don't know their experiences - which means it's inappropriate for me to comment on them in terms of whether they are factual or not.
I think when people comment saying "I've never seen any evidence" they might just remember that unless they have an all-seeing eye the fact they haven't seen it does not mean it has not happened.
That type of comment does come across as a bit of a 'put-down' for those who have experienced the behaviour which is now clearly identified as breaching the code of conduct for the forum. I'm not being critical of those who have said such things - just suggesting they might like to pause and think about how it might be read by different people. There are ways of making comments which mean they can be viewed as being neutral rather than taking sides.
and finally...... the way to make a thread come to a natural end is to stop posting on it!I find your response a bit bizarre.
Am I getting a telling off or just being told how I should conduct myself in a very round about way?Sorry for the late reply, I've been away for the weekend.
If you use chronological view instead of threaded you can see who I'm replying to
I find it very strange that you would want to pull me up about something I said well over a week ago, to someone else and on another thread, in reply to a comment that didn't reference any of those things. To me, that comes across as someone who just wants to control/argue.
Also, weirdly disingenuous the way you decided to word it as if you were talking about "people" in general, when it was clearly aimed at me.
BTW: since I left home about 25 years ago, there are very few people who get any meaningful input about what I "should" be doing and how I should be expressing myself....well ones I'm going to pay attention to anyway. They are my children and my husband. Strangers on the internet - no.Thanks!
I'm far from perfect! 
I think we got a bit of a natural conclusion insofar as the Forum Rules have now been revised and clarified.
I'm not sure everybody has noticed though.....For the Forum Rules see http://hubpages.com/help/forum_rules
You get a link to these anytime you start a new thread or reply to a comment made - the link pops up in the grey box on the left
I guess it's HubPages way of saying nobody is ignorant of the rules unless they never visit the page they are on!
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