Message to my Hubber Friends ~ Brenda Arledge

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   Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years ago

   As many of you know, my boyfriend has stage 4 lung cancer.
   
   This journey has led us down many pathways, causing us to stumble across a few roadblocks along the way.
   
   This time, we are standing in new territory.
   
   We were told on October 13th, 2021 that the chemotherapy & immunotherapy didn't work.
   
   So in between the tears and little moments of joy, I have been struggling to be here. Not to mention my newfound health issues.
   
   Needless to say, many of you seem like family to me. I hope you don't mind, but knowing you are there, helps  keep me going somehow.
   
   Today we met with Pallative care who has recommended he sign up for Hospice to ease his symptoms and provide us with any necessary equipment. Plus we'll have access to a doctor 24/7.
   
   They tell us this isn't a death sentence. We should look at it as an opportunity for him get his strength back in case a trial drug becomes available.
   
   But I got to say, it feels like one.
   
   Neither path is one we want to walk down, but he'll make a decision tomorrow morning when they meet with us.
   
   We are not giving up. We'll fight this struggle every step of the way.
   
   I want you to know I will continue to write and keep the word prompt series going strong. Just bear with me and understand if I'm a bit behind schedule.
   
   It actually seems to help me. Or at least it does so far.
   
   Thanks for being here for me.
   
   I appreciate each one of you.

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      Miebakagh57posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Take your time. We're all here for you.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Miebakagh
         Thank you so much.

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            Miebakagh57posted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Brenda, you're welcome.

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      ChitrangadaSharanposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Brenda!
      Sorry to know that you are having a difficult time. You are a strong person, and I will pray for you. I wish that both of you come out of this tough situation, as you have done earlier.
      Take your time and don’t worry about the word prompt series, the delays etc.
      Thank you for sharing this us. Take care. Wishing you all the best.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Chitrangada
         Thank you so much for your heartfelt words.
         
         We've been facing this struggle for awhile now.
         
         I tend to be strong or seem to be that way on the outside, while inside I crumble sometimes.
         
         I know God is walking with me and that helps get me though each day.
         
         Take care & thank you for the prayers.

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      surovi99posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Brenda,
      
      Really sorry to hear the news. I really feel for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it is a pretty hard time that you are going through. Just trust God. He would give you the best guidance in moments like this.
      
      Your word prompt series has been great so far but if it gets behind schedule, we will all understand and our prayers will be definitely for you.
      
      Like John, I also like to repeat that there is hope for the future.
      
      All my blessings, best wishes and miracle prayers for you, Brenda.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Rosina
         It makes my heart warm to hear your outpouring of kindness.
         
         I appreciate everyone for understanding & sending their prayers.
         
         I'd like to see a miracle, but it's in God's hands.
         
         Luckily today is starting out good.  I'm hoping for the best each moment.
         
         One day at a time. 
         
         Take care & enjoy each moment you have today and everyday.

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      vidsagsterposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Brenda, sorry to hear about your partner. We are like family no doubt and know that you are strong and will fight it out. Miracles happen all the time. We really appreciate your decision to keep up the word prompt series. It keeps us connected and something to look forward to. We will pray for your partner and for you. Take care my friend.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Vidya
         Thank you.
         It was a difficult choice to open up about this hardship, but everyone here on Hubpages has felt like a part of my family.
         
         Thank you so much for the kind thoughts & prayers.

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      snakeslaneposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      A very difficult time Brenda! So sorry to hear.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Verlie,
         I appreciate your kindness.

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      Kenna McHughposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate you too, Brenda. Stay connected to HubPages as it seems to help you. But, no worries about not making deadlines or keeping commitments.
      My thoughts are with you during this troubling time. Though I've heard that lung cancer is excruciating,  I can't imagine what your boyfriend is going through. I am sure it's been difficult for you as well. You're in my prays for a positive outcome. Hugs!!

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you Kenna.  I really appreciate this so much.

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         k2khanposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Sorry to hear about sad news of your loved one, Brenda. Please accept my sincere condolences and prayers, you've been great philanthropist and mentor for whom i have too much respect in my herat.
         May Allah give you courage and patience to get rid of this grief "Amen".

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            Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            K2khan
            Thank you so much.
            
            In my mind I know God is in control, but my heart doesn't want to listen.
            
            One day at a time, we will make it to a better day.

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      lovetherainposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Brenda,
      
      I do not know you. But you are a fellow human being who is in pain,and I feel for you and your loved one. I can't imagine what you are going through. I just wanted you to know that even as a stranger, I have sympathy in my heart for you. I hope the best for you and your boyfriend.

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         Miebakagh57posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Good talk. And, I add my prayers.

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            Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks Miebakagh

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you.
         I'm sure I will get to know you better through Hubpages.

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      OldRosesposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry to hear about your struggles.  Please be gentle on yourself as you navigate this difficult time.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Caren
         Thank you.
         I will try my best.
         
         I looked at your Hub and it's quite impressive.  I'll look forward to reading some of your work.

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      MariaMontgomeryposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Brenda, I am so sorry to hear this. Be sure, hospice can be a huge help to both of you. More so to you if it is home hospice, as they will take care of cleaning his room and bathroom every day, as well as seeing he gets his needed meds, and whatever else he needs. I went through this with my mom 12 years ago. I was still exhausted, but I don't think my dad and I could have made it without the hospice nurse. I have been on here sporadically, as my husband is fighting Stage 2 prostate cancer. I just can't seem to write as much as I once did. He just finished 8 weeks of daily radiation in mid-October. He is just now beginning to recover from the effects of the radiation, but we don't know yet whether the cancer is gone. We hope to get info on that in a few weeks. I will keep you and your boyfriend in my prayers. All my best too you. Keep writing, and I will try to, as well.

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         Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Maria
         My thoughts will be with you and I pray the radiation worked.
         
         We spent over a year doing chemotherapy & immunotherapy, but nothing worked.
         
         As far as hospice, it was a hard choice for him to make because he thought it was like giving up...a place to just die.
         
         But since they talked with him and adjusted his medications, he seems so much better.
         
         He trusts them and feels like they want to make him feel better.
         
         Plus we got a hospital bed.
         
         No aides for showers or anything like that...at least not yet.
         He doesn't feel comfortable.   He wants me help him until he can't do it.
         
         It's alot to handle, but just knowing they are only a phone call away certainly helps.
         
         Thank you again for telling me about your journey.

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            MariaMontgomeryposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            You're welcome.  I don't blame him about the showers. I would feel the same way. My mom had congestive heart failure, and had gotten to where she could not stand on her own, so the aides bathed her. She probably would have preferred my dad to do it, but he was in very poor health, too, and couldn't.  I'm so sorry the chemo and immunotherapy did not work. Take care of yourself, so you can be strong for him.

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               Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks Maria
               I'm trying, but there are those moments when I could scream.
               
               Somedays he's doing good though and it fools me for awhile.

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                  MariaMontgomeryposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can relate. Blessings to you both.

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                     Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                     I sure hope you get great news.
                     
                     Please let me know.  I'll be praying for you both.

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                        MariaMontgomeryposted 3 years agoin reply to this

                        Thank you. I will for you, as well.

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       Amara Hassanposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Dear Brenda, I am really feeling sad for you, and I pray to Allah that you find some really good solution of this problem.
       
       Stay strong and make your partner feel strong, I know its really hard, but you have to be his source of hope and courage.
       
       May Allah grant him with good health again. Power hugs and sincere prayers sent on your way.

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          Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

          Amara
          Thank you so much for this kind encouragement.
          
          We are actually doing alot better since Hospice stepped in to help.
          
          He has turned around a bit ~ I'm hoping this will at least lead to his pain disappearing so he can have quality of life.
          
          Only time will tell, but we are hopeful he will continue to feel better.
          
          It would take a miracle for him to have good health again.
          
          But nothing's impossible...at this point I'll be happy if he can just continue to feel better.

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   Jodahposted 3 years ago

   Brenda, thank you for sharing this very personal and difficult situation. Yes, we have all become like family here, so things that affect one of us also touch others. I pray for your boyfriend and yourself but know you should keep fighting. I know one woman who was told by the doctor to put her affairs in place as she only had around a month left, but nine years later she is still here and recovered from the cancer she had.
   Don’t feel bad if the weekly word prompts are late or even have to be put on hold for awhile. All the best.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      John
      Thank you so much. 
      It helps to hear your story about that woman who was told to put her affairs in order.
      There is always hope.
      
      I've put alot of my other writing on hold.  I'm trying to keep up with this one.
      
      So far, so good.   But to be honest, these last few days have really hit me hard.
      
      Thanks for the prayers.

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   AliciaCposted 3 years ago

   I will be thinking of you and your boyfriend, Brenda. Best wishes to you both. John's post certainly shows that there is always hope.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Linda
      Thank you.  I appreciate your best wishes.
      
      There is always hope & John helped to remind me.
      
      Take care.

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   theraggededgeposted 3 years ago

   Best wishes, and here's hoping for the best outcome, Brenda. You have many friends on HP who will support you. Stay strong.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Bev
      Thank you for these best wishes.
      
      Please keep good thoughts.
      
      I really appreciate my Hubber friends.

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   ravirajan01posted 3 years ago

   Praying for you Brenda. Hope you and your boyfriend come out of this stronger, healthier, and wiser. Always keep the hopes burning high.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Ravi
      Thank you for these warm thoughts & prayers.
      
      The mind has alot to do with how we handle everything...my hopes are high.

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   Misbah786posted 3 years ago

   Dear Bredz,
   
   First and foremost, let me say that you are a very special friend. You are an inspiration to many of us here. The love and support you have always shown towards us is a shining example. We all love you and care for you. I am deeply saddened to learn about your current situation, and I am keeping you and your boyfriend in my thoughts and prayers. Never give up hope. God puts His best men through trials, the ones he loves the most. It's just a test that you'll pass.
   
   Pain is not without purpose. “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10).
   
   “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28).​
   
   He is all-loving. God has promised that there will be light after every darkness. It is just a matter of time it will pass, I promise. Life is His blessing, and the tests he puts us through are also blessings; it's just that we don't realize it. Hold his hand tightly, and I promise He will never let you fall.
   
   Trials are God’s tool to break our dependence on ourselves so that we will trust in Him alone. God entrusts us with trials because He is using us for his glory. He is at work in us, through us, and around us. Take courage. He is working. Trust Him.
   
   Please don't worry about the word prompt series at all. We are all here and we are keeping you and your boyfriend in our thoughts and prayers. Don't lose hope and put your trust in God. I know you'll come out of it very soon. He is Gracious and Merciful. He will never let you break. He just wants you to get more closer to Him because He loves you.
   May God bless your Boyfriend with good health and provide you and him with the courage and strength you need. Ameen!
   
   Please take care!
   
   Blessings, Love, and Hugs

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Misbah
      Thank you for this sweet and encouraging message.
      
      I truly appreciate your friendship.
      You have helped me during my struggles.
      
      I am holding on to God's hand, but I hope my trials will lessen.  I've had enough to last a lifetime.
      
      I've got to be strong enough by now.
      
      Hopefully I won't fall and if I do he will guide my steps until I get back up on my feet.
      
      God has taken me through msny journeys & I trust he is with me now.
      
      Thank you for the prayers & kindness.
      
      Hugs
      Bredz

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         Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

         Hugs... Everything will get alright.
         He loves us!
         Blessings and Love!

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            Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Misbah
            Thanks gal!
            
            I'm trusting it will be.

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               Misbah786posted 3 years agoin reply to this

               

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   Pamela99posted 3 years ago

   Brenda, we are all like a family her. You and Ron have ben in my thoughts an prayers for a while now, and that won't change. I can't even imagine all the emotional turmoil you and Ron are experiencing right now. Just now how much I appreciate all you contribute here. It is important to take card of yourself during this very stressful time. I believe we all love you and care very much about you at this very difficult time. Please know you can reach out any time id you want to talk or communicate in any way.

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      Miebakagh57posted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Pamela, I'm completely with you in that.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Pamela
      Thank you for your kind generosity.
      I just might reach out someday.
      
      I appreciate all your prayers and warm thoughts.
      
      I am trying to take care of myself too.
      This is an emotional rollercoaster indeed.
      
      I am happy you are my friend.
      Thanks again.
      Brenda

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   billybucposted 3 years ago

   Hugs and the love of friendship heading your way on the wings of angels.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Bill.
      Thank you ~ this is a beautiful.
      
      I can sense the angel wings bringing me your message.

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   Farah N Huqposted 3 years ago

   My prayers and blessings for both of you. Stay blessed always.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Farah
      Thank you.
      
      Take care & do great with your studies.

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    Carb Divaposted 3 years ago

    Sending love and prayers to you. You are such an important part of this community of writers and do so much for all of us; please know that you are loved. May you find comfort and peace and healing.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Linda
       Thank you so much for sending your love & prayers.
       
       Truly appreciated.

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    Peggy Wposted 3 years ago

    Dear Brenda,
    
    May you and Ron find comfort in the knowledge that many people care about you and will continue to send prayers your way.  May God bless you both during this trying time.

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       Miebakagh57posted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Amen and amen.

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          Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Peggy
       Your heartfelt words bring me comfort.
       Thank you.

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    bhattucposted 3 years ago

    Feel so sorry for that. Appreciate the calmness with which you are facing and struggling. Wish this would be all over soon bringing in the manageable situation.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Umesh
       Thank you.
       There are moments I don't feel too calm, but I'm usually good at handling problems.
       One day at a time and will be fine.

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    DREAM ONposted 3 years ago

    All the things you both are going through is hard to understand. My wife and I continue to send our love and support. Writing is a special way to connect.May small changes create a little more happiness. Thank you for sharing.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Dream On
       Thank you.
       I debated for some time about telling my hubber friends this news, but I ultimately decided to let you know.
       I just didn't want to suddenly dissapear with no one knowing why.
       
       I don't understand why we go through the things we do, but we'll get through it.
       
       Thank you both for your love.

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    Moondot1822posted 3 years ago

    I feel sorry for you both, Brenda. May God help you in this difficult time. Sending love and peace to you and your boyfriend.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       E K...
       Thank you for your kindness.
       I pray God guides our steps.
       
       Take care.

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    Miebakagh57posted 3 years ago

    Such is life. Everyone is affect in one way, or the other. So we can pray for one anather.                                            My heart felt prayers to both families.

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    pstraubie48posted 3 years ago

    My heart goes out to you. Over the years my daughter and grandsons have been told that there time on earth was short and every time they have rallied.My daughter has always said the 'numbers' do not define her. She gets up every day and soldiers on as I imagine your love does as well. We have learned and TRY to live in the moment. Please know that Angels are headed your way.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Patricia
       Thank you.
       I have faced many health battles myself, so I have learned to live in the moment.
       Perhaps that is what gives me the strength to help him.
       I'm so glad your daughter and grandsons have beat the odds and keep going on.
       Doctors truly do not know the numbers, only God does.
       I get up & struggle through each moment, no matter how I might feel.
       The day usually gets better as I go along.
       Thank you kindly for sending Angels my way.
       
       Take care.

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    Abby Slutskyposted 3 years ago

    My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are really there to support each other. I volunteered for Life Choice Hospice for 7 years. My experience was that those that had stong support and faith often beat the odds, I wish you both luck and will say a prayer for better days to come.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you so much Abby.
       I appreciate you.

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    jansharesposted 3 years ago

    Brenda,
    I’m sending you hugs as you go through what must be a most difficult time of your life. I pray for your strength and for your boyfriend’s healing. I understand that your connection to us keeps you going. Connection to others and being creative will help you get through. I will hold you in prayer.

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Jan
       Thank you for keeping me in your prayers.
       It is the connection I have with others that pushes me to continue being creative.
       
       Each day brings new challenges, but together we will meet them head on.
       
       I appreciate your kind thoughts as we deal with this tough time ahead.
       
       Take care.

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    PegCole17posted 3 years ago

    Dear Brenda,
    Times like these that you're going through really test us, make us think about what's most important in our lives. I'm so sorry your boyfriend is facing this difficult situation and praying for strength in the things you both face daily. Thankfully, he has you for comfort and to be at his side. Know that you're in my thoughts and I will keep you in my prayers, hoping for health, clarity and better days ahead.
    With fond regards,
    Peg

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       Brenda Arledgeposted 3 years agoin reply to this

       Peg
       Thank you so much for your kind words.
       It is definitely a time that tests us.
       One learns to value what's really important in life and to cherish each second.
       Thanks for those prayers we appreciate each one.

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