Why Do Wives Get Mad With Husbands Watching Porn? How Does It Interfere With Mar

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   iamqweenbeeposted 14 years ago

   Watching porn is a form of cheating and it can become addictive

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   NoTimeForBullshitposted 14 years ago

   I think that if all men would stop being stubborn and just realize that the women in porn are fake as hell with their hair extensions,(wigs in some cases), caked on make-up, plastic surgery, airbrushing etc, they would quickly lose interest in looking at porn. I don't think it's the porn itself that is addictive, it's the "perfect" women in the porn. And they're naked and doing dirty stuff as well, so that just makes it all the more appealing. But if you were to take away all of their fake beauty, the rest would lose it's appeal instantly. All actresses, models, singers, and especially porn stars have A LOT of help with their appearance before going on camera. Most all women look better with hair that's halfway down their back or longer so hair extensions are added and blended in well with their real hair to make the stars who don't have the face for short hair look a lot better. But take away all that fake hair and chances are they are no better looking than the average man's wife. And every person in holly wood has had some sort of plastic surgery, even if it was just a nose job. Why? Because they ARE NOT naturally perfect...no one is. Even if they appear to be naturally perfect, they are not. It just means they are really good at doing their make-up and hair so it isn't as obvious, and they had a good plastic surgeon. And I'm not just talking out my ass, either. Google it if you don't believe me.
   As for all the women out their in relationships or marriages suffering because your man looks at porn, don't. Don't be jealous of fake perfection as those women spend hours to look that good everyday while you're spending your time doing better things. They are totally unoriginal, and all look the same after awhile, just different hair colors, and chances are even that's not natural. If you try to compete with that, you are just wasting your time.

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   finglebingleposted 14 years ago

   im a wife and i dont see anything wrong with it as long as it doesnt interfere with the relationship!!!!! make sure your wife knows u love her

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      Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This is advise you are giving?

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   GillySposted 14 years ago

   Because it means that their wives aren't sexy enough or don't stimulate the kind of erotic response that they are seeking

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      It is only meposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      That is not true! Porn users may have a wife who is the best lover in the world & beautiful too. The man may even know this, but he turns to porn instead of his wife. I can't fathom that people still believe this misconception. Wow!!!!

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   Lilbittybettyposted 14 years ago

   That is a good question...I am not married..but, I like watching porn and I want my man to watch porn with me...to help get us in the mood.

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      It is only meposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Some day he'll be in the mood for only porn & not you, so enjoy while you can like I did, because I am not enjoying now.

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   dotty1posted 14 years ago

   i do believe that it can be upsetting to find your mate is watching porn especially if your relations are non existant however putting all the 'its other women' aside i do think that it could be used together to enhance a sexual relationship... what I dont like is when men deny watching when we know they are??? I really wish people would be more open, its lies and secrets that cause problems.......

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      redssunshineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Your right. I am on that position. I've always been secure with myself and tried opening our horizons in the boudoir, but he wasn't too open. But when finding he's watching porn, not me, and denying,hes making it sneaky and I feel betrayed.

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   playeroffraudposted 14 years ago

   I think either party can become angry over it.
   
   It's a matter of perspective as well as what is is *doing* to the marriage.
   
   Good, bad or somewhere in between - if the couple doesn't talk about it; it will cause alot of problems.
   
   Some people just plain detest porn.  If you do, you probably wouldn't marry someone who liked watching it.

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   adibintoroposted 14 years ago

   If taken positive side, watching porn can improve the quality of sexual relations between husband and wife, the wife should not have to anger

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      It is only meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Improve? The husband has an orgasm with the thought of another woman on his mind & his wife becomes his covenient sperm receptacle. That certainly doesn't improve intimacy in marriage. A good marriage needs no porn to improve the quality of sex.

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   Jaynie2000posted 14 years ago

   Personally, it doesn't bother me at all. However, I think the answer lies in how pervasive a "problem" it is. For example, taking a look at porn once in a while isn't so bad (imo) but if they are looking at porn obsessively and it is taking the place of normal human sexuality and relations with their spouse, then I would agree that's a huge problem. I think it's completely normal and healthy to be attracted to the visual images of attractive people (assuming they are) in sexual situations,  but admittedly there are many that take that to the extreme.
   
   It also may depend upon what type of porn they're viewing. Straight up sex in a variety of positions (good); anything involving kids, animals, bodily functions or violence (not good).
   
   Also, I think it's wrong to assume that it's always men looking at porn. There are plenty of women who like to do it too. Maybe they should try viewing healthy porn together and see what transpires.

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    shahadat73posted 14 years ago

    Because Husbands will also get mad with Wives while they are watching porn. Kind of revenge, isn't it ?!!!

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    dark raiderposted 14 years ago

    probbly becuase the think that you dont like them so you watch other people have sex

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    maticmagisterposted 14 years ago

    Everyone craves for love, attention and when their ego(personality) does not get it, it lashes out in fury.

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    Golfgalposted 14 years ago

    it is cheating without touching.  No one wants to feel like their significant other wants to lust over someone other then them.

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    tgopfrichposted 14 years ago

    I agree with a lot of other answers here. Its extremely uncomforatable knowing your husband liked or likes porn. It is exactly how someone below put it, a third unwelcome party in your home.Visual adultery. Yes its ``just pictures`` but it is another naked person that you are making a sexual act over.
    Imagine if porn was never introduced into our world. I bet there would be a lot more respect, love and trust in this world.

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    duffsmomposted 14 years ago

    It is a betrayal.  It is not about physically cheating, it is about supporting a perverted industry, it is about turning to someone outside of your intimate relationship for stimulation.  It is just wrong as a sexual relationship is meant to be between a man and a woman and not involve a group or watching others have sex.

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    LeisureLifeposted 14 years ago

    interesting read...                                                                        .

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    chaunatyeposted 14 years ago

    Simple, it feels like cheating, if he has to go look at another woman to get off, then something is wrong.

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    chasemillisposted 14 years ago

    I hope you know that porn is one of the biggest marriage killers. It can make you think that your wife is not good enough for you. I highly do NOT recommend it for everyone because I have personally seen the negative affects that come from it. Trust me, it's not worth it

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    vinsanityposted 14 years ago

    Its basically like your cheating on your wife. Also, it shows to your wife that she's not good enough if you need to go to other places to be satisfied.

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    mariahpooposted 14 years ago

    The simplest answer is usually true. She gets mad because you watch porn to get off. And if you are not doing that with her she will be jealous. Its irrational, but true. She is thinking of you fantasizing about other people and getting off. That is almost like cheating with your mind.
    
    Try watching it together. Find a porn that would interest her. It could spice things up instead of turning things off.

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       redssunshineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I  would be ok with my SO watching porn once in a while. But when I found out he was watching it, and I confronted him in a way that I hoped wouldn't make him uncomfortable. But his denying makes it sneaky and makes me feel betrayed.

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    ii3rittlesposted 14 years ago

    The way I look at it is, if he wants to pleasure himself to other women's naked body, he deserves to be single because he has no respect for a woman's body.
    
    Looking and lusting after another woman in any way is CHEATING.
    
    I don't care what any men have to say on this. If they say its not they are not men, they are boys.
    
    A man can find a woman attractive, that's fine, there are a lot of beautiful women in this world. But when he starts to lust after her it means it is attracted TO her and that my friend is WRONG.
    
    I refuse to marry any man who thinks its OK to watch porn inside of marriage. Porn is for single boys and girls who have not grasped the meaning of LOVE or LIFE when it comes to sex. Sex is not something you just do. There is a strong energy that bonds to human bodies together. I mean sex created life for God's sake, why do you think God made it so special and designed it for TWO people.
    
    I wish both men and women would act like men and women and respect themselves as well as each other.

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       Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I agree..except, I feel it is immoral whether someone is single, or married

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       jesupmanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Spot on!!!!!

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    Brinafr3shposted 14 years ago

    Because it is disrespectful and unclean.

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    Melissa.Pposted 14 years ago

    I don't care! It's not like hes cheating it's just on tv.  I don't care If he goes to a strip club and gets a dance.  I would never be ok with a person cheating on me but clearly that is not the same. I trust the person I am with and am secure with him. "I mean hey its not like he cares if I watch porn or go check out a strip club.  People have to stop being so uptight and give the person they are with a little more credit than that.  Most men are not sex addicts and perverts and most women are not uptight kill joys

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       Levertis Steeleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Porn gazers are like alcoholocs. Some have the alcohol gene and some do not. The risk is that you never know until . . .

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       It is only meposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       When you are 58 yrs old like me, and your husband is looking at 18 yr olds & masturbating instead of being with you, we'll see how you feel then. We'll see if your self esteem holds up. Remember this day; for  someday you may understand my words.

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    Harlan Coltposted 14 years ago

    At 16 I had penthouse and playboys pin-ups all over my wall. I remember sitting and looking at them one night and thinking... I don't want that. I want the real thing with one woman. So I tore them all down. I have seen a porno a time or two at someone house - a beer party - and porn was on the TV. I thought it was immoral.
    
    In my opinion, a man who watches porn is selfish. He is so wrapped up in his own lustful pleasures, he disregards his wife. A man who cheats - puts his lusts before his wife and family.
    
    A woman who does not keep her man satisfied is even more selfish (And Vice Versa) and is just as guilty of cheating as the man/woman that he/she failed.
    
    I think  a lot of people sign up for the romance, the white wedding, the family, kids etc, and never give two thoughts to pleasing someone for the rest of their lives.
    
    We are all so stupid sometimes.
    - Harlan

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       Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I disagree, lust is each person's sin, and nothing CAUSES it but the person doing the lusting

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    sonfollowersposted 13 years ago

    Pornography does something bad to a man's brain where sex is concerned.  Pornography is very addictive and it doesn't stay stagnant.  Men are very visual sexually, and pornography is all about variety and apparent perfection.  This does bad things to a man's ability to be interested in the woman who's there with him in the bedroom.  No woman could ever measure up to that much variety and that level of surgically enhanced and airbrushed perfection.  Eventually a man can get so accustomed to sexual gratification with pornography that he has difficulty being sexually gratified with a real woman.  Strange, but true.  It also begins to make sex all about an activity rather than connection and intimacy.  You lose the emotional context over time.  My personal opinion is that pornography will screw up a relationship, even if both are into it.  A content blocker can be a beautiful thing for someone who's addicted.  Just break the habit.  You'll be better off.

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       Darknlovely3436posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       well said

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    Kimberlyann331posted 13 years ago

    It interferes with marriage because if watched too much it becomes impossible for a man to be satisfied with just sex, he would have to turn on porn during sex to get any pleasure. how do you think that makes the wife feel?

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    IntuitiveMindposted 13 years ago

    Ladies, this whole thing about porn being "cheating" is ridiculous. It's not cheating. When you look at another man (you may be married, not blind) you are simply observing. Although porn may be disgusting (and I am not saying I condone it), I simply find women's reasoning of it being like cheating absurd.  I have taken the pressure completely off this subject with my husband. He does not go to strip clubs nor does he watch porn, but if he were, I would certainly want to be with him when he did it. Men obviously feel like they're doing something wrong because wives make such a big deal out of it. I bet if women acted like they didn't care either way, it wouldn't be such a big deal with the husbands - and the wife would probably be the beneficiary. It's mans nature to look at women. It's what they do. But remember, they married you.
    In addition, I think women feel somehow in competition with these porn stars which is a sign of your own insecurity. If your husband enjoys it - and many men do - let him get his appetite and then have you for dinner!! Lighten up, life is short.

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       It is only meposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       To Intuitive Mind: You are right, life is short. I am 60 yrs. old. Up until 3 yrs ago, my husband & I had a great sex life, until we got a computer & digital cable. My husband got curious,began watching porn, & he could not function with

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       Heather Hoveyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I just believe if you as a woman are truly enough for your man like they say then why the need to look at it? It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my husband lies about looking at porn and I end up catching him

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       Levertis Steeleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       You may be deceived. That man's mind is on that porn star, not you. Why would he want porn if you were enough for him? Do not be fooled. These men know that they are wrong. That is why they sneak and do it until they get caught. They feel guilty.

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       sassydeeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I kind of agree with you but what about the husbands that end up watching and pleasing themselves that's when I think theres a problem

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       Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Lusting is not simply observing, lusting is cheating. My reasoning comes from wanting to live a great life, without hurting someone I love. My husband feels the same.

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    alegnanatposted 13 years ago

    not all wives do.  some people are more kinky than others i suppose.  if the wife is ok with it and secure with herself then i say it's not a betrayal of trust or cheating.  everyone could use some fantasy now and then to escape the doldrums of life and i can't think of a safer way.

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    My2Bitsposted 13 years ago

    Really? You don't know? Chances are your wife married you because she loves YOU. She wants to be with YOU. She trusts YOU. There's a lot of responsibility for both people in marriage. When you look at porn, you are betraying your wifes trust and faith in you to be a good man.
    
    When you look at porn (its usually degrading) you are USING actual human beings for your own selfish pleasure. You are taking attention off of her. You are confirming that you are not an "out right" kinda guy but that you are nothing but an animal listening to your animal brain.
    
    Who wouldn't be hurt to find out that the person you chose to be your partner in life is actually a sleazy, selfish, person that she will never be able to make happy for as both as long as you shall live.
    
    Porn ruins intimacy and a trusting sexual relationship between husband and wife. If you don't agree, maybe you should re-think monogamy and marriage. I find men want all the benefits and rewards of it but don't want to actually have to sacrifice anything for it.

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    Letsgetrealposted 13 years ago

    To start, I would like to address the response from 'Intuitive Mind'. You go on to say that porn is no big deal, there is no problem with it in the least and  "Women need to lighten up." that's pretty convenient when you make sure to add that 'YOUR husband does not look at porn or go to strip clubs.' I'm shocked. It doesn't bother you because it doesn't affect your life. Why then, did you feel the need to research this topic?
         My husband irrevocably damaged our marriage with his porn addiction. I made it very clear early on in our relationship, when I found material in our home that it was a deal breaker. I am always willing to fulfill any desire he may be interested in and spent quite a lot of time, money and personal security to 'keep our lovelife exciting'. He seemed to drift away more, with our sexlife becoming almost nonexistent. It was by mere chance (and laziness on his part) that I saw a subject in the search bar and a window open on our home computer while he was at work. When I came to him, he swore it had been a one time thing. The next day I searched through our computer history and discovered that every morning before work, he would leave our bed (with me in it) and pleasure himself to disgusting images. Why would a grown man need to look at "Barely Legal Girls"?
          I was furious, hurt, dejected and humiliated. All the sexual things he had always claimed to detest were exactly what he was looking at. He had a wife willing and in fact, desperate to be with him and instead, he chose to trade that for photos of strangers, his own hand and a wad of tissues. (Sorry to be graphic) Watching porn and viewing pornagraphic images completely desensitized him to the real thing. He could no longer get aroused by common methods. He would need to see a close up view of genetaila,like those shown in porn to get aroused. 

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       Levertis Steeleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Truthful porn gazers would say that they prefer to fantasize about their porn stars when making love with their wives who are clueless.

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       It is only meposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       My lying porn watching husband who eventually became a truthful man who no longer viewed porn, said it was all about the other women, never about me. He fantasized about other women EVERY time we were together. And, I was clueless for years.

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       redssunshineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Sounds like I wrote this. Except it's on his cell phone now but uses private tabs. Curious as to find out how your doing now

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    DAJay2012posted 13 years ago

    She hates the subterfuge often employed to view porn. Or she hates the porn industry and everything it stands for. She sees their husband's need to view it as a weakness, a failure to control sexual feelings. She hates that he feels the *need* for this extra titillation at the expense of sex with her. She finds porngraphy morally reprehensible. She thinks it's ugly, depressing, aggressive, exploitative. She feels cheated and betrayed. Men don't *need* to look at porn unless they're addicted because it isn't on a par with air, food and water in the list of essentials for a healthy life. If a wife doesn't like it, the husband should stop. It shouldn't be seen as a hardship to do so either, unless there's an addiction issue as I've already stated. What is this obsession with sex? It's like, in the struggle to take the guilt and shame out of sex,  many think it's wrong to censor/deplore any kind of sexual outlet apart from that which is against the law. Meanwhile women are sexually abused in the porn industry and women are sexually abused outside the porn indsutry. Women are objectified when porn is viewed. They are given no respect and seen as little more than meat to be slapped around and used as sexual playtoys.

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    Levertis Steeleposted 13 years ago

    "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Prov. 3:27. If this man is lusting or imagining himself mounted on the woman in the porn, then, that is what he is doing. He is guilty of adultery. So are women who do the same. Computer sex, television sex, porn movies, magazines, and a thousand other things are ruining life everywhere. What's wrong with people. Do they need lessons?

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    Lynn3311posted 12 years ago

    Sexuality is human nature, you all should take human sexuality 101. Ciuld do wonders for you closed mind woman.. and if you all consider it cheating then none of you would still be married lol. How bout instead of flipping out and being so negative about your husbands watching porn. Why dont you join him? Porn can be a great way to mix it up and make things exciting again. Everyone who has been married longer than a year knows that after th newness wares off things can get a little boring. Its up to you and your other to keep it interesting. And masterbation is totally NORMAL! So would you get mad at him for that if he wasn't watching porn? Doesnt mean he isnt fantasizing which is the same thing. I myself enjoy porn and it doesnt mean i am cheating or wanting someone else. Often times i will think about my husband while watching it....men think about sex a lot more than woman and if they were to come onto everytime they thought about sex. You would never stop having it. If your husband shows no sexual desire towards you then yes you have problem. But how often do you turn him down for not feeling like it being too tired ect.......there is NOTHING wrong with a strong sexual appetite and to route away from the boring normal usual stuff.

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       It is only meposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       When you get older my friend, watching porn with self pleasure kills a man's libido for marital sex, and the wife (me), is stuck living my life with no intimacy. We were married 30 yrs with good sex until porn came along 3 yrs ago. Now, nothing!

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       Kay-Cee Inspiresposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       some real bad habit

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    SparkChaserposted 12 years ago

    There are a lot of things said about watching porn. I am 55 years old and I can say in my case it has not become more and more extreme in watching, actual play or desires. In my case I would say it is not an addiction. I would like to watch with my wife. As of this writing my wife and I have not watched any for a year or so. I have wanted to watch some porn with my wife for a couple of months now. The time has not seemed right. My love is in pain a lot of times and I do not want to bother her when she hurts. So I broke an agreement with her and was watching porn for 20 min or so before I went to work. She found out... Also I do not see where it has encouraged me to be more aggressive and has not led to wanting to rape and all. If any woman does not want to be with me so be it. I am happily married to my wonderful wife! I have been faithful to her, except porn, and have no desire to cheat!
         Background: As a young boy I discovered how to “Get Off”, by accident through a fetish I played with, that I would rather not reveal, and later playing with myself  in the bath tub. For a long time I did not know what it was but it was enjoyable. For most of my life women were not attracted to me. I have said hello and been told nasty things. I have always been nice and tried to meet ladies. I have always been a geek. So from an early age I leaned to take care of my own needs. My first marriage lasted 11 years and had a couple of relationships that lasted 5 years or so. I have been married 6 years to a wonderful lady! I have watched porn from time to time during this marriage.  I must say women are beautiful to me. One of my fetishes is I am attracted to "Girl Clothes". I feel a woman wearing heals, skirt, stockings and all the other little things are really attractive. For one I feel she wants to be attractive. To me it is great when women wear lingerie and the feel is good too.
         To me it is not really just porn. I like seeing a woman dressed up even more than the porn.
          Now to present day. I have watched porn to take care of my needs a lot of times. I did a couple of time early in this marriage but not since then. For years now I do not watch porn to get excited and do not try to take care of anything. It does get me to thinking like this last time, I was watching before work. Then throughout the day when not busy at work i would think about my wife and how it might enhance her enjoyment and mine. I have even tried to find toys ...

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       Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       It is obvious all of you consenting womern are missing something in your marriage, and your love is not whole.

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       It is only meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

       SparkChaser,  Did your wedding vows go like this: "I promise to love & honor you & forsake all others, except when I'm feeling horny before work and decide to get turned on by & have an orgasm over an other woman, instead of you"? And, yo

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    It is only meposted 12 years ago

    My husband and I were married for 28 yrs. I had some health issues, and during that time I discovered my husband happily getting off to porn. It made me feel old, ugly, deceived, discarded, unloved, and just not needed anymore, like an old piece of furniture that you throw out. I will NEVER feel the intimacy again that I once felt in our marriage. He blew it, and it's gone forever. There is now a black mark on our marriage vows, and that will never go away.

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       It is only meposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I wrote my above post nearly a year ago. I feel as sad & depressed today as the day I wrote that post,. I was recently diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I go from smiling to sobbing (in public), in a second.. Can a man call this love

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       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       1)Rather he find live sex when UR sick? 2.)"old, ugly, unloved" UR words, not his.UR OCD ruined UR intimacy 3)Blk mark on UR vows? Never heard vows w/ a promise 2 never watch porn.U over-reacted big time! Calm down, just love him. & SMILE.

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       It is only meposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Paula (fpherj48)  If you haven't been thru this, then don't speak. In our vows, my husband promised true Christian sacrificial love in mind, body heart & soul, forsaking all others. He did not say except for orgasms over 18 yr olds in porn nightl

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    COCO1977posted 12 years ago

    My husband and I have been married for 14 yrs and we have a 12 yr old.  One night around 11pm I noticed my husband wasn't in bed, i called out several times, but no response. Finally, I got up and walked into the living room where I found him masturbating to porn. I was shocked and so was he bcuz he was busted.
    
    I was disguisted on many levels bcuz just as i walked in on him masturbating in the open, my son could have easily had done the same thing. If he had to relieve himself you would think he would try to be more discreet about it
    
    Initially, I felt hypocritical bcuz we both watch porn together. After thinking logically I realized I was disgusted with him and I also felt betrayed bcuz why would he choose porn over me?  I started to feel as if I didn't measure up
    
    He couldn't understand why i was upset bcuz we watch porn together and were very open when it comes to sex. He said he tried to wake me, but I wasn't interested.  I truly don't believe this bcuz my husband isn't shy about getting the goodies when he wants it and knows exactly how to persuade me. 
    
    Last, but not least. I stormed out of the bdrm I was so frustrated and it's going on 2 hrs and he hasn't even come to console me.  In fact, he is knocked out sleep as if nothing happened.  Must have been a good nut. Be careful about the things you allow in your marriage bcuz it could come back to bite you

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    Heather Hoveyposted 12 years ago

    What if your husband does it and lies about it?

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    psych1594posted 12 years ago

    I know this is late, but it has been proven through psychological studies that when men watch porn, it decreases their satisfaction with their wives.

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       It is only meposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Absolutely right! Yrs ago, my husband had the stamina for both porn and me. But as his energy dwindled with age, he chose porn instead of me. All of the young wives who don't mind porn now, will be starved for intimacy someday...just like me.

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    ParadigmEnactedposted 11 years ago

    You definitely brought up the right topic here. Look at em go. Humans, even those fine, upstanding ones among us gotta indulge themselves. There ain't nobody in this world more pure of heart than the very worst sinner. Something salacious and taboo and suddenly Mother Theresa herself has an opinion. Everybody's in the gutter now.

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    Lee Teaposted 11 years ago

    After 10 years of asking myself this question, here's my conclusion.  And after reaching it, I really don't care to get upset over it anymore.  It's emotionally upsetting and physically exhausting and my energy is better spent creating something.  So, I guess I found my answer that makes this situation bearable.
    
    Everything that upsets me about my old man watching porn boils down to this one idea: how do you get to want to f*ck someone else?  I mean, really?
    
    And that's it.  I know I can't want to do that.  He'd never be cool with me admitting that.  So...that's the imbalance.  And over the years of reliving this stupid nightmare over and over again, I've come to understand the balance.   Guys have a natural need to hump, while the corresponding need in women is to nurture.  So he gets to watch porn and I feed his friends sandwiches (well, not at the same...), and somehow we're both fulfilled.
    
    lol - true story
    Be well!

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       Deborah Sextonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       I find that to be very sad.

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    Mary Shadowcrestposted 11 years ago

    I'm not married yet but I can understand why wives have a problem with it. Basically every answer I've read has explained it but it seems to be the reaction to one case. A husband watching porn alone to just get himself going is wrong. However if a couple were to watch it together that may be different. You can discuss with one another if you want to try the things done in the video or if you don't like certain things. My partner and I do this sometimes and it's a great bonding experience that helps us learn more about one another. We never use porn to get ourselves off alone. Actually we don't even really get aroused by it but it does help us learn more about each other in the bedroom. It really comes down to how porn is used. If used correctly it can actually help strengthen a bond instead of rip it apart.

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       redssunshineposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       How is a woman to compete with 2 barely legal females in a porn flick. I gave him the green light to watch together, but his denial took the front seat. We women need to value ourselves and never compare to another.

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    IslandBitesposted 11 years ago

    I have no problem with my husband watching porn if: 1. We watch it together or 2. He does not watch it  in secrecy, like it was something bad he need to hide. :-)

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    BuffaloGal1960posted 11 years ago

    This is a very good subject. I read some of the answers too and like most of the ones I read.  Here are reasons not to side with porn whether or not you are married or single:
    
    1) It is a form of rejection.  Who likes rejection?  Not many normal people. It revives old feelings of abandonment for some.
    
    2) No one that takes the first drink of alcohol intends to become an alcoholic. Likewise, we don't know if porn will become addictive. And let's face it, addictions graduate. You get tired of stage 1 and you move on to stage 2, stage 3 and stage 4.  Who knows at what pace.  I doubt there are many sex offenders around who did NOT watch porn...evidenced by an interview I saw before Ted Bundy was put to death.
    
    3) Images never leave our head. We may push them back. We may feel like we forget them, but they are there.  This DOES interfere with a "wholesome" healthy relationship in the bedroom.  Protect your mind because it protects the heart. This is a teaching many fail to teach their sons!
    
    4) Selfish people cannot succeed in marriage. Porn is selfish, focusing on one's own instant desires instead of the two people who will or have come together as one. We have become an instant society. This is a possible contribution to the rising divorce rate.  I wish people who spend a lot on the "wedding" would spend equal finances or more on the MARRIAGE. The vows say "love, honor and cherish" and it doesn't say "unless I watch porn"  This is something to learn about before marriage (and be honest about).
    
    5) Secrecy is not healthy for a marriage. Many who are married and watch porn are secretive about it. It sends a message to the spouse once caught:  What else will he be secretive about?  It brings doubt.  It destroys trust.  It IS betrayal.
    
    There are many reputable experts who warn about the dangers of porn, but they don't have nothing on the Bible.  God knew it and He wrote it. But even if you don't believe in the Bible, the answers are still the same.

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       BuffaloGal1960posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Also, someone else made a good point regarding not respecting women, so I will add - these women are someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's niece, soneone's granddaughter. We should really teach our sons that one!

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    Trish89posted 11 years ago

    Why wouldn't we get mad? It's like throwing it in your face that you're not enough or not attractive enough. I find it rather rude. Yeah you can say at least he's not cheating, but if he wants to see other women, or couples, on tv who's to say he won't want to see that in person? A relationship is about trust and if i have to worry about my husband looking at that stuff, then there's no trust.

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    Michelle Widmannposted 11 years ago

    I don't think it matters at all. To some relationships it is detrimental, but to some, it isn't a big deal. It's all based on the preference of the people in the relationship.
    
    For my personal experience, my fiance and I are both pretty open with one another, and porn isn't a problem. We're both comfortable with the other looking at it, as sex is just another desire of the human body you can't exactly control. I don't see porn as a form of cheating, more as a form of sexual release when the other partner can't be around to help.

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       It is only meposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Let me hear you say this when you get older. When you are an aging woman, & the women of porn are still 19, let me know if you enjoy porn then. Over 30 yrs. ago, I was you, saying the same things you're saying, & excited about my upcoming wed

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    Nicole Henleyposted 11 years ago

    I think it can give husbands unreal expectations of their sex lives with their wives. The women in those videos seem to enjoy every act performed with or to them and men may believe that should be the way their wives react to their sexual requests. Since this is supposed to be a relationship about love and respect, sex is only one aspect of the whole and men should respect when their wives don't want to preform like porn stars.

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    blogvietposted 11 years ago

    Frankly it is not fair as sometimes women still want porn movies or they even like handsome men out the. Just they don't admit orally they like it. I am quite open just like my wife, we watch sex together and make love at the same time. It is 21th century :-)

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    Joshua Scottposted 11 years ago

    I just asked my wife this question. Her answer was this:
    
    You're desiring another women, which is like cheating. It's disrespectful.

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    destiny 147posted 11 years ago

    wives get mad with husbands for watching porn because they want to feel like their enough but by the husbands watching other girls have sex the wives feel less need and important.

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    Astralroseposted 11 years ago

    Simple! Because they think they own their husbands. They want to control. The same goes for husbands towards their wives. They think when you are married you lose your individuality. Okay, husband like watching porn, big deal. If both watch it together will wives not make a big deal about it? But because husbands watch porn...alone, it becomes a big deal? If he's happy about it, be happy too.
    
    It will certainly interfere marriage as long as one thinks he/she owns his/her partner. That after marriage no one is allowed to look at others anymore. That after marriage or when in relationship, one should lose his/her individuality. Lots of women are there. Just because they are not naked or wearing sexy dresses men don't fantasize about them? And just because you are having sex together are you are sure it's you that your husband's thinking? Maybe someone else. You don't know!
    
    The only reason why everyone should be monogamous is health. Having many partners could lead you to have lots of diseases. AIDS for example. And yeah, much of sex or making love (if you want to romanticized it) is mental.

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       It is only meposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       There is nothing wrong with admiration of a beautiful person. But getting turned on over other women instead of your wife, and having an orgasm over other women instead of your wife. Might as well put a condom on & stick it here & there. Why

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       fpherj48posted 7 years agoin reply to this

       U have PTSD due 2 hubby using porn?Good Grief honey, U'd fold into pieces over something truly egregious. Married 28 yrs & know ZERO re: male libido & mind? (sad) I'm thinking the guy deserves more luv 4 not using a live woman! Get OVER this!

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