Jump to Last Post 1-36 of 36 discussions (66 posts)
  1. lawretta profile image60
    lawrettaposted 14 years ago

    Is getting pregnant the best way to hook a guy! or any suggestions! He's not thinking about settling down and i can't let him go.

    1. Lady_E profile image63
      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely not a good idea to trap a man with Pregnancy. He could end up resenting you and the baby. Also, there is no guarantee that he will marry you if you have his baby.
      How long have you known him?  If its for a short period, maybe he needs sometime.

      On a lighter note, keep on treating him right and spoiling him and as you melt his heart, he might just put a big diamond ring on your finger of his own accord - from his heart.  Good Luck smile

    2. Princessa profile image81
      Princessaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think that is the worst way.  A pregnancy is always a strain in a relationship it is not a panacea to solve all our problems.  Besides, wouldn't you like him to stay with you because he WANTS to, rather than because he HAS to?

    3. Eaglekiwi profile image75
      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      actually the odds are the opposite could happen and if the stats are anything to go by chances are youll not only be unhappy but so will that precious new life!!!there are way better ways to 'get happy' smile

    4. Patty Inglish, MS profile image87
      Patty Inglish, MSposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      One client did this twice - once to get married and once later to keep her husband (or so she thought).

      Summary Of Results:
      Older child was abused, became an abuser and psychopath.
      Divorce. Dad remarried with whole new happy family (very happy).
      Younger child incurred multiple psych problems from age 2.
      The client lost several jobs. 

      Just one case, but I advise against pregnancy to ensure relationships.

    5. alekhouse profile image74
      alekhouseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Getting pregnant to snag your man is definitely not a good idea. In fact, trapping a man at all usually ends up in heartbreak. Believe me, when the honeymoon is over and reality sets in, he'll resent you for it and throw it up in your face every chance he gets.

      1. alekhouse profile image74
        alekhouseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Why would you want to "trap" somebody anyhow? The very word is suffocating and offensive.

    6. profile image0
      ralwusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, that's how my first marriage was made. Big mistake! Bad marriage and worse for the kids. Never set a trap of any kind for a man. He will get free by hook or crook. Win your man with a smile, good food/cookin' and your personality and great loving. And don't you think your gonna change him girl, 'cause that ain't gonna happen and he will still leave the toilet seat up and miss the hole on occasion and not clean up. Rather like a messy pet. LOL good luck now

    7. Christenstock profile image58
      Christenstockposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      First, make yourself happy, and then, share this with him. I believe a woman should always nurture a man's ego, and similarly, the woman should do the same. Compliments make a great and succesfull relationship.

    8. Army Infantry Mom profile image61
      Army Infantry Momposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Getting pregnant is the worse thing you could do,.1st, It won't work, 2nd, raising a child as a single parent is hard and 3rd,..It makes you look desperate and no guy likes that. My advice,..Be patient,..let him go sew his oats, remain his friend, who knows when he is ready to settle down, he just might be back knockin on your door. Meanwhile,..keep your mind and door open to other potential great guys. Good Luck !!

    9. My Inner Jew profile image62
      My Inner Jewposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Girl you need to run!  Run away!  He is not worth your time and then you are just going to have his kid and trust me he won't stay.  You will wind up with hurt.  If he loved and cared for you enough, he would marry you and not give some excuse...if you have to trap him then he isn't the guy for you...

    10. onthewriteside profile image61
      onthewritesideposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Getting pregnant won't get you anywhere...except in debt.  If you wanna keep your man, wake him up every morning with a BJ, let him go golfing or drinking, or whatever with his friends whenever he wants to without any hassles, stay out of his way, do his cooking, cleaning, and work 3 jobs so you can pay all of his bills.  Don't be fact don't even talk to him unless he asks you a question.  If he brings another woman home, don't be fact, ask him if he wants to have a threesome.  If he wakes up with a hangover, leave the house so he has some peace and quiet.  If he doesn't have a hangover, leave the house anyway, unless he asks you to stay.

      You asked....LOL!

      1. profile image53
        czanclusposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        Wow, with men like the above described, who needs men?

        Ladies, seriously, start owning your life and your independence. Stop worrying about 'keeping a man'. Stop measuring your self-worth by whether a man is in a relationship with you.

        Treat men with respect, and if you feel that a man has been so despicable that he doesn't deserve any respect, just walk away without any fuss and criticizing. Those that don't deserve respect will never learn anything from your confrontation anyway. But they will pick up on the fact that they're being constantly ignored by women, and will either 1) sulk in their basement with their porn collections and video games until eventually someone finds them dead and alone, or 2) try to on their own volition do something about themselves. Only then should you consider clue-sticking them.

        Have several men with whom you interact - and flirt - on various levels (friends, coffee-mates, tennis buddies, activity partners...) and never settle for anyone until a minimum set of criteria is met. [Only you know what those criteria are, and you should have a clear picture of them by now.]

        Never apologize for being single, or a single mom, and put all burden of proof on ment to demonstrate that they are worthy of partnership with you. On your end, be self-possessed, independent, fit and fun to be around (on most days).

    11. Drew Breezzy profile image63
      Drew Breezzyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      not a good idea

    12. profile image52
      Lauratocciposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Worked for ME ya'll. now he is my bf and soon fiancé !!!!!!!

    13. dashingscorpio profile image81
      dashingscorpioposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Why would anyone want to marry someone who does not want to marry them? That is the real question! The very definition of a "soul-mate" is having someone who (naturally) agrees with you on the major things in life, shares your same values, and has "mutual" feelings for you. Essentially, in order for him to be "the one" he would have to see you as being "the one".

      As for getting pregnant to "trap" a man keep in mind in this day and age there are far more "baby mommas" then there are men getting married because they got some girl pregant.

      Even if you do get a man to marry who really did not plan to or want to then it's only a matter of time before he'll be cheating on you or leaving you.

    14. profile image0
      Deepes Mindposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If you have to trap him to make him stay with you, then he isn't yours. The best way to Hook someone is to let them see what life is like without you there to do what he needs you to do.

  2. Ladybird33 profile image68
    Ladybird33posted 14 years ago

    My suggestion, is never ever trap a man, it won't work long term.  If he is not ready, don't push, hang tight or let him go.  As hard as it is to let him go, somettimes it the best thing to do.  My opinion, I wish you all the best.

  3. scheinandras profile image61
    scheinandrasposted 14 years ago

    If you want to trap a man I would say never ever let the fridge run out of beer and never ever say you got a headache:)

  4. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 14 years ago

    The fact that their are so many ladies looking after a baby alone, shows if men wanna go they will go...... If the guy dont wanna be trapped he will not be.....

  5. blondepoet profile image66
    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    If he is dumb enough to walk away let him walk.Geez if you have to trap him then he does not sound like the one. But if you really have to trap him, tie him to the bed posts, with a pair of nylons.

    1. profile image48
      CabinGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Works for me smile

      1. blondepoet profile image66
        blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        You tie them up too? ROFL

    2. Princessa profile image81
      Princessaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      They love that, especially if you are wearing some sexy boots ;-)

      1. profile image48
        CabinGirlposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Just sexy boots of course smile

        1. Eaglekiwi profile image75
          Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          and boy leg  panties lol

      2. blondepoet profile image66
        blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Oh yes he will crawl along the ground if you don a nice little corset, a G-banger and a pair of thigh-high boots, don't forget the whip, and also you have to speak different. Here is an example, make sure you say it in a stern, dominant voice. "You are a bad, bad boy,now heel"

  6. Lisa HW profile image61
    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    Having nobody is better than having someone you "trapped" (and most guys won't be trapped for too long anyway, so you'd end up with nobody sooner or later anyway).  If you both want different things, it's better you break it off and start new with someone else who wants what you do.  Babies deserve better than to be brought into the world to trap someone.

  7. Eaglekiwi profile image75
    Eaglekiwiposted 14 years ago

    Oh noooooooooo..
    Why do you want to trap him for?
    Isnt there really something more worthwhile to trap lol
    sorry I couldnt resist

    If you trap a man ,actually anything for that matter
    You only ever really have them so long as you provide the bait
    And what kind of relationship is that
    You might as well be a zoo-keeper
    Ever seen how excited the monkeys and lions get when they know its feed time.

    Ok you love him, but honey , you want him to love YOU, not things (not whats in the fridge ,or your panties,or your check-book, or anything else)
    But YOU!!  smile

  8. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 14 years ago

    Geez, let him go. There are men all over the place. You can't go the supermarket without tripping over 20 of them. Go get another one if he isn't   in to you like you want him to be.

    Plus, what about the baby? I mean, forget the man--if you have a baby you're going to get big as a house, then carry around something that pukes on you and craps in your lap for a couple years, then drives off any man you bring home for the next 15 years.

    Seriously. Babies are even more high maintenance than men are, and besides, when have you ever heard a man say, "Wow, what I really want is a woman with a screaming, expensive BABY! Forget about great boobs and cookin', Babies, oh yeah!"

    That just doesn't happen. smile

    1. profile image0
      Leta Sposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol lol

      Not to mention--for YOUR sake--trapped men simply are not very sexy beings.

  9. kerryg profile image82
    kerrygposted 14 years ago

    More than 80% of all couples report a decrease in marital satisfaction in the first year after childbirth. If your relationship is already on the rocks, having a baby is the absolute worse thing you can do to the relationship, yourself, and the baby itself.

    Just from personal experience, I believe pretty strongly that divorce should be an absolute last resort once children are involved, but I still came closer to leaving and/or murdering my husband in the year after our daughter was born than at any time before or since. Two and a half years down the road, our relationship still hasn't completely recovered, though I think we're at least on stable ground again.

  10. frogdropping profile image78
    frogdroppingposted 14 years ago

    Lawretta - I'm better known to be full of nonsense but for once I'm going to write the complete opposite.

    The one thing no one else has pointed out is this: what about the child? I seriously resent the fact that I was born simply as a measure to hold my fathers' interest.

    Now I dislike very little about my life, even though it's strewn with debris from pillar to post. I'm actually pretty damn happy with my lot - all in all. No regrets and all that. None.

    But if there's one thing I don't like it's the foundations of my conception. I wasn't conceived because of love. Even accidently would've been preferable.

    So think beyond your own needs, wishes and desires. Think of the child you may create as a means of holding this man to your side.

    Ultimately 'I' didn't do a great job. And was duly hammered for it.

    There's always alternatives to having a child simply to satisfy a personal fear.

    And otherwise - I do wish you luck with your man.

  11. profile image0
    pgrundyposted 14 years ago

    "I still came closer to leaving and/or murdering my husband in the year after our daughter was born than at any time before or since. Two and a half years down the road, our relationship still hasn't completely recovered, though I think we're at least on stable ground again."

    Kerry, I think that is SOOOOO common. I remember before my first child was born my husband kept obsessively asking me, "This won't change our lives, will it? Tell me it won't, I need to know everything will stay like it is." That marriage didn't make it. Having a baby changes your life more than you can ever know and to think anything else is insanity.

    I sometimes think that nature makes sure people don't know this SO THAT they will keep reproducing. If you knew how hard it was in advance, you'd never do it--of course the good parts outweigh the bad and I'm glad I had my kids, but you can't really ever convey how hard it is. It's always harder than whatever to try to tell people who haven't been through it.

  12. R. Blue profile image60
    R. Blueposted 14 years ago

    The best trap can be constructed by cutting a hole in the ice during the winter.  Sprinkle some boobs around the "ice hole" and when he comes by and bends over to play with the boobs....jump out and kick him in the "ice hole". would you like to be "TRAPPED"?

    Do animals like to be trapped....a trap is a prison!!!!

  13. Christa Dovel profile image70
    Christa Dovelposted 14 years ago

    In my experience, men like to concur.  If you are oh so available, all the time, then he will not be that interested!  Play hard to get.  Be mysterious.  Have interests outside of him.  Love life -- Men love a happy, smiling woman.  Be fun to be around. 

    Most of all, hold him loosely, in an open hand.  An open hand will hold so much more than a clenched fist, and a trapped animal will chew off it's own leg, to get loose. 

    And listen to frogdropping!

  14. profile image0
    dennisemattposted 14 years ago

    I wanted to say something snappy like.. serve him beer topless... but really, as much as you have prolly already heard all this and its not what your looking for, I agree with frogdropping, a baby is a person, not a bargaining chip. If you are not capable of being happy on your own, you will never have a truly happy relationship, with anyone. Dont drag an innocnet child into that. Let him leave, find peace with yourself, then find a man who deserves you. Good Luck.

  15. HealthCare Basics profile image61
    HealthCare Basicsposted 14 years ago

    I believe getting pregnant is pretty drastic. In this day and age, trapping a guy with a pregnancy would only cause a great deal of bitterness in your relationship. He, not ready to settle down may be demonstrating a maturity of knowing marriage is not an option at this point in time. You have two choices, hang in there for the relationship to grow, or move on and let him go....

  16. fortunerep profile image69
    fortunerepposted 14 years ago

    I have hesitated answering anything to this because I don't want to anger you, then my opiniated self would say, "Are you freaking kidding me'? Just the simple fact that you would use a child to snag a guy is heartbreaking.  I know that women do it everyday, especially teenagers that have the misunderstanding of parenting and relationships.  I think it would be a great disaster.  I am 40 years old and have not seen or heard from my father but once since i was 8 years old.  I was an accident, i am aware of that.  My mother suffered as well for feeling inadequate when she couldn't give me the things she wanted.  Getting pregant in not going to ensure a relationship.  Dont even think about child support, that is probably not going to be as many expect either.  It is just wrong, and that is not love.  If you feel you have to trap your man, you need some therapy.  It shows you have low self esteem and trust me, having a child for him to trap him and watch him walk away anyway and have kids with someone he loves doesn't do much for the ego. If he doesn't love you, let him go, if he comes back he loves you if he don't he never did. Don't do this, move on, look after you.  The thought of you having 9 months of body disfigurement and 18 years of them stepping on your toes only to step on your heart is asking for trouble and many problems for the child. Don't be selfish, be a women  and realize what you are doing before you ruin your life as well as the chil's and man you can't have.


    1. blondepoet profile image66
      blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have to agree with you 100%, never, ever, use a baby, a baby deserves 100 times more than that, it horrifies me to think and to know women do that.

  17. spiderpam profile image75
    spiderpamposted 14 years ago

    I wrote this a while ago, I hope it will help you. God Bless.

  18. Rotem profile image60
    Rotemposted 14 years ago

    lawretta, try handcuffs.
    Maybe hs is not ready yet give him sOme time and space and if this is not the problem you deserve more then that.

  19. lawretta profile image60
    lawrettaposted 14 years ago

    Thanks people, i read all your comments and have come to my senses. I have moved on, no more traps. Thanks again!!!

    1. Lady_E profile image63
      Lady_Eposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That's lovely Lawretta. Good Luck.

      1. Army Infantry Mom profile image61
        Army Infantry Momposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Glad to hear that,..because strapping yourself down with a baby,..your social life will be over,..LOL. Best Wishes to you.

  20. Anamika S profile image67
    Anamika Sposted 14 years ago

    He is a man and not an animal to be trapped in a Cage. It may work short term but not long term. If you want a man to get closer to you it is possible only by genuine love and care.

  21. Triplet Mom profile image68
    Triplet Momposted 14 years ago

    I think you have the wrong mindset here.  Trapping someone means that they are doing something against their will and bringing a child into that situation is just adding fuel to the fire.  If he is not interested in settling down then maybe its time to move on.  Otherwise you are just asking for trouble.

  22. Tom Cornett profile image80
    Tom Cornettposted 14 years ago and mallot.  smile

  23. Teresa McGurk profile image61
    Teresa McGurkposted 14 years ago

    If you really want to trap something, try a hunting for a good car that won't let you down, gets good gas mileage, and has adequate airbags.

  24. andromida profile image58
    andromidaposted 14 years ago

    I am still thinking how you can trap your man.Why don't you
    use any ordinary trap available in the market.

  25. lindagoffigan profile image57
    lindagoffiganposted 14 years ago

    Read the following hub and I hope that it helps.

  26. RooBee profile image83
    RooBeeposted 14 years ago

    1. Hole in ground
    2. Cover with leaves
    3. Put Beer/Rack of Ribs/Playboys (depending on man) on other side of hole.
    4. Wait with bandages at the ready.

    Hahaha. Sorry, Lawretta. Just thought I'd add some (bad) humor. I see you have taken the good advice here. My 2cents is that if he doesn't appreciate how awesome you are - you're much better off without him. At least that way there's room in your life for someone who will!!

  27. onthewriteside profile image61
    onthewritesideposted 14 years ago

    I seriously hope you all know I'm just kidding right?

  28. Misha profile image62
    Mishaposted 14 years ago

    LOL People, would you bother to read the thread before replying?

    For those who don't, here is OP reply:

    1. profile image0
      dennisemattposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ha ha misha!!! i was thinking the same thing...

      1. profile image0
        dennisemattposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        but i forgot to say, lots of times when its a long thread..i skip to the end so i can say my 2 cents before i forget what i was going to sya...

  29. profile image0
    fierycjposted 14 years ago

    Half the time Women don't get this stuff about men. Most men half the time already know if they're gonna marry you. The idea might scare the living daylights out of them, no doubt. But they still know they'll end up marrying you, anyways. One way or the other. So chances are pretty slim that a dude will marry you if he hasn't done that all this while. Its sad, but its true.

  30. SAMEERPT profile image35
    SAMEERPTposted 10 years ago

    man always good n power full so u dont worry

  31. Cristale profile image83
    Cristaleposted 10 years ago

    I have learned that nothing can change a man, not pregnancy or even marriage. A man is going to be who he is and will change when he wants to. I wish there were an easier way, but that would only bring much more unnecessary drama. Besides, it is better to be with a man who wants you back, in the same way that you want them.

  32. Eaglekiwi profile image75
    Eaglekiwiposted 10 years ago

    Using a baby as an ulterior  motive to trap a man, is selfish and immature.
    If he wont settle down and commit himself to you ,what makes you think he will for his baby (whom he hasn't even met yet).
    And even if he does bond with this phantom child, it still doesn't mean commitment to you sadly.

    Perhaps when you quit chasing, he will quit running.

    Take care of you first. Good luck.

  33. Kathryn L Hill profile image78
    Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

    I have not read any responses nor, do I plan to. I just have this to say:
    YOU CAN'T.
    -so stop thinking about it.
    I guess he is just not that into you.
    Move ON!

  34. BLACKANDGOLDJACK profile image73
    BLACKANDGOLDJACKposted 10 years ago

    There is a thread now on page 1 entitled "how may time should couples sex in a week?" to which one young lady replied, "1000 times."

    You might give that approach a try.

  35. passthejelly profile image73
    passthejellyposted 10 years ago

    Do some people really think like this? wow...

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image78
      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      what B/G JACK mentioned is probably quite true.

  36. prettydarkhorse profile image55
    prettydarkhorseposted 10 years ago

    Oh this post was made 3 years ago

    Don't trap him, set him free, he will return...they say.

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image78
      Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I wonder if she lost him. She should report back in.


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