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When is a hug more than a hug between a man and a woman who is NOT his wife?


If a man hugs a woman in front of his wife, where is the line that it has gone too far? The "hug" is fine. Does it cross the line with a kiss on the cheek? A kiss on the neck? Prolonged hugging? A kiss on the mouth? Does it just depend on the woman or on the situation or is it ALWAYS over the line when more than a hug?

 

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Best Answer Rosa Marchisella (I Am Rosa) says

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5 years ago
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    aliasis 3 years ago

    Wait, men and women aren't allowed to hug as friends? I don't think that's a rule at all! Especially young people these days happily hug their opposite-sex friends, or kiss on the cheeks. And a quick closed-mouth kiss is not "mate only" either...


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William E Krill Jr (krillco) says

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4 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 4 years ago

    That's actually the smartest move! That does make you a gentleman AND a caring man! Thanks for responding!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    Thanks for replying! I think it IS often a cultural thing! I wondered about a gauge on the level of intimacy insinuated by the actions. I am a hugger, but very i am very conscious of the intimacy level of what KIND of hug is used on each person.


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TIMETRAVELER2 says

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5 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Time Traveled, TRUE story! LOL...it is a touchy subject! Thanks for commenting!

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Jeffrey Maskel (jeffreymaskel) says

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3 years ago
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    Juno Smith 18 months ago

    great comprehensive short answer, thanks.


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DSmizzle says

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2 years ago
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Thief12 says

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3 years ago
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  • prektjr.dc profile image

    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    The point in question is more the kiss on the neck than a mere hug. Analyzing began with that being more of the focus. This was in fact my point; there are many different conceptions and misconceptions regarding what is appropriate. Good point!


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philli says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    agreed! Thanks for commenting!

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Michael (the50marathons17) says

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I like the two second rule! It gives room for some affection, but closes the gap on overstepping the intimacy boundaries! Great idea!

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Besarien says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Communication is a great factor in the interpretation and understanding in this situation. Thanks for commenting!

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Don Colfax (tehgyb) says

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    tehgyb,

    I agree..anything beyond a hug between a married man and another woman is inappropriate and a brief hug at that. I think it's an issue of respect and shows the value one places on the relationship with their spouse. Thanks for responding!

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OSBERT JOEL C (goodnews11) says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    The western culture however, has gotten so "loose" that some feel no need for respectul boundaries. Thanks for commenting!


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Billy Taylor (moviesreviews) says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    If it was only a hug....I can see it being totally harmless. I feel the kiss on the neck took it over the top. Again...situations are so the key. Thanks for commenting!

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Robert Morgan (the rawspirit) says

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20 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 20 months ago

    Bobby, the key to it all is, in fact, knowing your mate and protecting that relationship. Thanks for commenting!


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Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) says

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5 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    In addition, I would like to reply to another comment within this overall thread. No. I do not cheat, have not ever and will not cheat. I personally do not condone sex outside of marriage and intimate touches belong at home with your spouse.


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5 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I agree that a quick hug is definitely different than a prolonged one! Thanks for commenting!

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2 years ago
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5 years ago
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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Funny but my husband would FLIP if I even hugged an ex! He gets "grumbly" if I even chat with another man. He had no problem with the situation. People and circumstances make a world of difference.

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4 years ago
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5 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    LoriSoard, I totally agree...stay on that soap box! Marriage needs protecting!

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5 years ago
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    Brinafr3sh 4 years ago

    I agree, unless the male spouse don't mind his wife giving out hugs as well, in front of him.


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ketage says

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    ketage, thanks for replying. I agree 100% that a hug and kiss on the neck or mouth is totally inappropriate for any person with whom you are not intimate. Wow! Croatia! How cool!

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Disillusioned (C.V.Rajan) says

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3 years ago
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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I agree. The security of the marriage makes a difference. The kiss in question is on the neck. A simple, quick hug and a peck on the forehead of cheek could be okay given the closeness of the "friendship". A relative stranger..different story.

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Mr. Smith says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Exactly. Thanks for commenting!

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2 years ago
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    IslandBites 2 years ago

    Generalizations. I am a woman and I don't mind when my husband hugs other women. And I obviously don't get hurt by that, neither my husband when I hug other men.


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Dana (Dana Lovrek) says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    You are SO on target! The situation, the degree of intimacy, the culture, the spouse are all reasons to keep it "in check" and make sure to keep the communication clear. Thanks for commenting!

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EvanCat says

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23 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 23 months ago

    So true. Thanks for commenting!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    You are right....generalzations do not work here. However a good rule of thumb is to keep the emotions in consideration! Thanks for commenting!

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2 years ago
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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Absolutely. Thanks for commenting!

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23 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 23 months ago

    I agree. It would be easy for imagination to get carried away! Thanks for answering!

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4 years ago
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    IslandBites 3 years ago

    Please. Nonsense.


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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Daniel, I agree. A quick hug between even practical strangers can be okay, but prolonging it opens up problems. Thanks for commenting!

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I agree! Thanks for commenting!

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2 months ago
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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Thanks for commenting! Touching of shoulders is a safe boundary!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    You are so right....a look CAN create that connection that can lead to too much! No one in particular....just a thought provoking question. Thanks for answering!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I agree...it is sad that some think it won't be noticed. It is always noticed.

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Stephanie, you are so right. Cultures play a significant part in the interpretation of appropriateness. I believe most though would agree that kissing the mouth and neck are an intimate move. Thanks for commenting!

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 23 months ago

    It can become a "chip" played in a gamble between partners! Good point! Thanks for commenting!

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21 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 17 months ago

    I am that way as well! Thanks for reading and responding!

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6 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    be grateful, thanks for your comment! That is so true! Thanks for reading!

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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 18 months ago

    Wandering hand definitely qualify as overstepping the line. Thanks for responding!

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13 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 13 months ago

    Keeping open communication is vital in any relationship! Thanks for reading and commenting!

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11 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    Thanks for commenting! I agree...simple guidelines help us all! Family is one thing, but still within boundaries! Thanks for commenting!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I agree. If one person feels bad, it does matter. Thanks for commenting!

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15 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I believe it is the kiss that puts it over the top in my thoughts! Thanks for commenting!

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21 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 13 months ago

    It truly is different when in creates discomfort in your relationship. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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17 months ago
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    Thief12 17 months ago

    And if I were to go with that premise, will hugging/not hugging change that?


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17 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 17 months ago

    Good points! Thanks for reading and responding!

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11 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 10 months ago

    Respect is truly a key element in a relationship! Thanks for commenting!

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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I agree...more than that does become questionable! Thanks for commenting!

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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    edhan, very good line of thought there! The whole idea was more of a wondering what people thought kind of thing. It is a springboard question for couples. Thanks for answering!

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    So true! Michael, thanks for commenting!

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23 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    It is true that most have learned the social norm for the level of appropriateness. Some have not learned, sad to say! Thanks for reading and responding!

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    While providing a great answer, you also bring up questions that help clarify the question! Thanks for commenting!

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4 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    It is a tough one. The only problem about them going somewhere more private is he was married to someone else...it was in church next to his wife and he kissed the other woman's neck.

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23 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 23 months ago

    I agree. Thanks for commenting!

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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 17 months ago

    Agreed! It is possible to keep it appropriate! Thanks for reading and responding!

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15 months ago
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    IslandBites 15 months ago

    So, something that can be "the beginning of an amorous affair" should only be done when the wife is not there? LOL

    Btw, you're wrong. I'm a wife and I have no problem with my husband hugging another woman, even if she's not a close relative.

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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I think the intimacy of touch is so powerful and so dangerous to a relationship when given to someone outside of that relationship. Good luck with yours!


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    Ed Schofield 6 weeks ago

    And in the animal kingdom, there is also something to be observed. I tried to hug my first lab, she gave me a warning bite (softly delivered) on the nose. After a few months of having her in the house, and establishing our bond, it was fine with her.

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4 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I agree. To me a kiss on the neck is intimate and seductive. Thanks for responding!

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    I agree. Body language tells a lot about a person and their intent. Thanks for the insight!

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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    Many great points, but my favorite is the last...a wife's human nature needs only a good answer. Thanks for reading and responding!

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14 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    Ana Maria,

    Thanks for reading and responding. It should be okay to give and receive hugs ALL the time. Sadly there is sometimes an "agenda" behind them! Cultural mores often play a large role in the interpretaion of the intent! Great comment

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Vipin Behari Goyal (vipinbehari) says

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20 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    I find it interesting that precluding even a spouse from a determination of appropriateness of intimacy seems to be acceptable to you or anyone for that matter. Freedom for intimacy with anyone....does not define a committed marriage.


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Manjunath7472 says

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9 months ago
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Eva G (Evane) says

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7 months ago
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Jerry Wilfred says

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5 months ago
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Deborah Sexton says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    So true...we put ourselves in temptations path. Thanks for commenting!

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Angelesq says

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22 months ago
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    frumpleton 6 months ago

    Maybe I am meaner than you are. You ever heard of fight fire with fire? Well, how about hugging and kissing one of HIS friends in front of him? I'll bet he won't like that, much.


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frumpleton says

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6 months ago
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Cher43 says

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2 weeks ago
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PADMENDRA S R (padmendra) says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Trust is a delicate thing. Hugging IS generally a safe sign of comfort or affection. Kissing can twist things to a new level. A man who loves his wife would never pull her into questioning whether or not he is trustworthy.

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alaknath says

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5 months ago
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Noey Lab (noeylab) says

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3 months ago
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Mian Mohsan says

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20 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    Christians would not condone it either. Lovers should reserve this level of intimacy for private as well. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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roselinsojan says

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11 months ago
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Aditya Singh (adityasingh58) says

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6 months ago
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Sissy Bunch says

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6 weeks ago
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3 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    I am SO sorry you have experienced all of that. I believe we have slacked on the training of what IS acceptable. We have more divorce and immorality than ever before. A hug is fine. Kissing IS intimate. Respect in relationships WILL preserve them.


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jerry carman (jerrycarman) says

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12 months ago
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Omar Eldamsheety says

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3 months ago
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RCAugust says

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5 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 3 years ago

    RCAugust, thanks for answering! That is probably the best approach!

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Pam Birchfield says

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2 years ago
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Joshtheplumber says

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23 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    It's true. The heart which cares does know. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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Ravi and Swastha (choosetolive) says

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20 months ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 14 months ago

    Many cultures do accept many levels of "hugging", however, I find that respecting the relationship brings in its own level of appropriateness of any type of touch. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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ShujinkoDegus says

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2 years ago
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    Debbie Carey (prektjr.dc) 2 years ago

    Agreed! Thanks for commenting!

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Nudely says

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7 months ago
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    Elisa Martin 3 months ago

    Hi my name is Elisa Martins , i have been suspecting my husband of cheating on me for a while ,i have always wanted answers i tried hiring a couple of investigators and hackers not knowing who is real and who to trust.. which didnt really work till i

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