Male Dominance
CLEARLY That Is NOT the case in My Case!!
She wrote me a note in 12/12/2005 saying that if I don't wash my own socks.... she's gone!!
Spud and Mulloch!!!
She Did!
Well I'm Not Sure about that.... She's had a fine old time swanning around on holiday for the last 5 years....
I think she could have at least turned the shower off before she left.. I've just found the whole bathroom has been washed away!
I wondered what the neighbor was yelling at me for in 2006, before that river running through his garden washed him away! 
Bugger... that was a good toothbrush I had back then and I was going to have a shower next week too
@Mikeydoes... that's BS!
shows how much you know about women mate 
PASS.........
nice PD, I'll be over soon to read your latest poems.
good work!
hi Maita.
- .....i'm still waiting for someone to cut the grass....i'm gettin' lost everytime I head out to the backyard.....
....and where's my dinner?.....I ask...but I don't get a reply anymore....
...too bad about the BR disappearing PD......I gave up trying to change the vaccuum cleaner bags...
...i finally figured out where the light bulbs were....my place was getting pretty dark...i was runnin' out of candles...... I'll roll my eyes where I like mate!!
Of course you have overlooked the fact that we were talking about WOMEN and....... I believe you were the one with the immaturity problem... in that your references are of Girls... you know.. apprentice women... Son!!
I have been waiting for 5 years for my woman to dominate me and then she could have whatever she wanted for the laundry!!
Spud and Mulloch.... She must have left!!!
Her note is dated 2005- kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years ago
0
@PD have you ever been married?
to be taken care of doesn't equal male dominance. it implies being cared for with respect.
I guess for some it means give me a house, food, kids, car, jewelry, etc., and I'll be your maid.
there are so many stories about how women confess to having lost their identity when they married because they took on a submissive role. no woman should be a man's servant IMO. both should treat each other with respect.
I was quite surprised to learn that one of my important roles as a woman is to bring home a good take-away. Now I know where I have been going wrong all these years! LOL
But there are lots of different views on marriage out there, and it's just a matter of amicably and fairly working out what works for you as a couple. Being a 'submissive' or 'surrendered' wife wouldn't be my thing, but whatever floats your boat I supposeThis is exactly why I prefer not to be married - too much trouble to figure it all out. When I was married we could never decide who should decide on some things, so they didn't get decided. Now I take care of myself - I do all the deciding, nobody to blame but me, but I like it that way. I think the arguement about dominance could be easily solved if people just agreed that nobody dominates and all things get decided based on common sense. good luck with that!
Yeah. Lions eat the cubs of other males I believe. lol. I think it depends on the species as to whether a lesser male wants to expend energy preserving the genetic material of someone else. The animal side of me says, "No way, I'm with the lion." But the human says, "Well, if I really loved HER, then I'd be fine with the kids." However, she better not ever say to me, "Hey, you're really not breeding material, and I like that other guy way better than you; however, I need help raising his kids and he's too good for me, so, congrats, you can help me feed his bastards. Oh, and no, not tonight. I have a headache. I expect I will have it for a long, long time. Try porn." That would be problematic.
My response too (although only because your daughter thought of it first
).
OK - here comes a post I've apparently been bottling up for a long time:
I'm about as strong a woman as there is, and that hypothetical individual you described is pretty unappealing to me.
I've been reading this thread and thinking I wasn't even going to comment (because everything I see here, except what PC has said) is just amazing and infuriating to me.
I'm a woman, and that man you described, shadesbreath, is someone I wouldn't have a shred of interest in. I'm not particularly impressed by "powerful builds". In fact, I find them unappealing. I'm REALLY not impressed by the money/banking career thing. As far as intelligence goes, I'm no shrinking violet myself (and the only reason I mention that is to point out that there is such a thing as women who have good intelligence); so I'm not impressed by that either.
Just about all the women I know expect to be respected as an equal and have no interest in dominating anybody else or in having someone else think he has a right to try to dominate. Mature, well adjusted, individuals want to have that equal and healthy partnership.
I really think that a strong woman (at least I know this is me and the women I know who are similar) is, herself, looking to be able to provide for her own children. The maternal instinct is so fierce that she isn't looking for some brutish looking individual to take care of her children, because she wants to be strong enough and smart enough to care for them herself and knows her fierce maternal instinct will help her rise to any occasion. She also doesn't want her children to be that hypothetical person you describe (genes-wise), because she's smart enough to understand the intellectual and emotional needs of children and is likely to be looking for a "genetic mate" who is likely to offer her children an example of the kind of person she hopes they will be (which is intelligent, kind, emotionally strong).
It always bugs me when people talk or write about "what women think" or "how women or men think" or "what one sex or the other wants", because there is complete and utter disregard for differences that exist among individuals, regardless of what sex they are. I read that foolish "Mars/Venus" book years ago, and - honestly - just about all the ways of thinking and communicating described in that book for how men think would have me fall under the category of men.
I'm no not some weird, anomalous, woman. I'm pretty much like a whole lot of the women I know and (strange point as this will be) pretty much identify with every Disney Princess that has ever come down the pike. (My point is that I'm not a man-ish woman or trans-gendered or anything other than "the run-of-the-mill, "standard", kind of woman like so many other women are.) The men in my life (or boys in my life) haven't particularly been people who fall under those Mars/Venus categories of "how women think" and "how men think" either.
Statements like, "All women really want a guy that dominates" are out and out baloney; because I'm a woman, my sister is a woman, my friends are women, my mother was a woman, my daughter is a young woman, etc. etc. - and I"m here to tell you that (at least the women I know) want to be respected as an equal partner (and I don't mean "respected as a nice or smart but still less" person; I mean viewed and respected as an equal).
I have two sons and a daughter. When they were little I raised them as "human beings first" and let their sex take care of itself once they got old enough for it to start playing a bigger role in their identities and lives. They were all very similar in behavior and thinking. They grew up the way I hoped they would - human beings first, their sex second. I tried to help all three like whatever sex they happened to be, and know that both sexes are valued and equal.
PC, farther down on this thread I see your post about a stupid man interpreting the Hub as a license to be physically abusive. I don't even think that's the main problem. The main problem is the suggestion that intelligent, strong, women compromise their own strengths/abilities (there is also the possibility it will be the woman who has the best reasoning and decision-making ability) and instead settle for just handing over all decisions to someone who may be far less knowledgeable or skilled about some decisions.
The person who is better at one thing or another is, I think, the one who should have a little more weight given to his/her ideas on any matter. What a gross disservice to children, for example, to just sit back and let the father make all the decisions for them if it is their mother who has the more advanced understanding of their emotional, intellectual, academic, and/or physical needs. Or, sometimes it is the wife who is far more skilled with understanding and/or managing money than the husband. Again, why let the family suffer because someone is "married" to the idea that the guy ought to make the decisions?
We may have made a bunch of progress with laws and corporate policies about women's rights and women's role in the work place; but I can tell you, as a woman, living a day-to-day life in a world where so many women and men would love to make sure I don't have the power over my own life, or else who expect me to essentially shut up and hand over power to someone else who deems himself superior to me; trust me - it's obnoxious, and I often feel like Cinderella when the step-mother locked her in the room so she couldn't get to the ball.
We still live in a world that understands so little about what strong, capable, well adjusted, mature, women (or men) want in relationships. We still live in a world that tends to see women as something less than men or people who are adults who have no interest in being less in any way. We still live in a world that forgets all the unmarried women who raise strong, capable, smart, loving, sons and grandsons; who would be willing to go to war to protect their own children, and who are the strength and guidance for whole families.
Divorces happen when men haven't been raised to realize that maybe, just maybe, their wife DOES know better about some things than they do; and when they resent a wife who isn't willing to just let the least capable of the two make the decisions. They also happen when wives find themselves being resented for not being willing to just "go with the program", and so decide that the only way to live their life as an adult is to live it without a husband (or anyone else who doesn't seem to get it when it comes to the fact that women aren't little girls, morons, sissies, fluffy-heads, or in particular need for a husband who doesn't understand that they are equal partners and adults).
As a woman, and as one who seems to attract more than my share of people (men and women) who think I need their protecting and their help and their advice and their general "knowing more" and "being more" and "being older, bigger, better, smarter, wiser, etc. etc." than I apparently am in their eyes; I can tell you that there's nothing more obnoxious than being suffocated by someone's thinking you need their advice and protection and whatever else it is men are said to offer women. I'm just fine with a broken down car, thanks. Good Lord. After a lifetime of being a woman who apparently looks dumber or younger or shorter or gentler (or whatever the problem is with looking and sounding like a woman), I am truly, truly, both suffocating to death and about to lose my mind with people who try to "protect" me, offer advice, "educate" me, "inform" me about things I've known since I was three, etc. etc.
I'm sick to death of a world that doesn't even see the strength and power I have, as an individual. For once and for-freaking-all, I'd love, before I die, to get the idea that the world has finally gotten a clue about what it is like to be a woman, what women want in and from men, and the fact that the last thing I'd tolerate or consider a healthy marriage would be anything less than an equal partnership.
The Hub essentially says that either the man should dominate or else it can work with an equal partnership, but the woman never should. Well, I don't think anyone ever should dominate. I once read that the only kind of love that is genuine and healthy includes respect and admiration for the other person. Dominance always boils down to less respect for one person than the other. If some woman is delighted to have someone change her tire, fine; but I've known more than my share of women with "protector" husbands who were in extremely, extremely, unhealthy marriages and situations. There is often a price to be paid for sitting back and letting someone be the one to change the tires, and it's a price smart, strong, women aren't usually willing to pay.
Besides, if people want to look to the animal kingdom for evolutionary hard-wiring, a whole lot of female animals are out getting the food for their babies, raising them, and being prepared to claw off the faces of anyone trying to harm them, long after the father has gone off and found himself another mate.Lisa, I love you. I get the "awww isn't she cute" thing ALLL the time. When that makes me mad, eventually, it "must be her period."
Thank you for speaking up.DorrMattnomore, thanks. I love too. (Mutual love fest).
Women just need to keep speaking up, even what works best is when the conversation is kind of general.
There are people who say things to some women, especially wives or other people in personal relationships, that they'd NEVER say to, say, a man they work with. That may be the guideline people ought to be using: Ask themselves, "In the same situation only with a male co-worker, would I have just said that same thing?" I'm not talking about intimate or private conversation. I mean day-to-day interaction and conversation - driving, being out and around somewhere, working on a project, anything that someone might do with any companion.
Example: You're in the store and someone decides he'll pull your shopping cart in the direction he thinks it ought to be; or you're crossing the street and someone thinks you don't know enough to look both ways on your own, so they'll act as if you're going to be hit by a car you can't possibly know is coming - regularly (not just the rare time when that kind of thing might happen). Just a general telling you what to do kind of thing, as if you're three. There are zillions of incidents and things people do. If they asked, "Would I just have done that same thing with a guy I work with?" chances are they'll know there's NO way in "heck" they would be that overbearing/insulting to a male co-worker, friend, or neighbor. Men and women can equally guilty of treating a woman this way.
gracenotes, thanks. Yes, you're right. I'm 5' 2", but one chart shows average height for women in the US at 5 3", with average women in North America at 5' 4". With the exception of (I think) Sweden and the Netherlands, average height for women is either 5' 4" or under (with 5' 2" and even 5 1" average). With heels I'm not all that "uneven" with people who may be as tall as 5 5" or 6", so it isn't like a Mutt and Jeff situation with most other women for someone my height. Average height in India is 5' 1" or 5' 2". 5' 0" in China and 5' 1" average for Japan.
Here's a chart in case anyone happens to be interested:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/average- … woman.html
This means that an awful lot of women across the globe would be considered "petite" either because they're an inch or two under "average" or else because they would be considered "average" for their nationality/country.
If people are equating not being over 5' 3" or 5' 4" with being "inferior" or being like a child, how dumb is that!! If being short/petite is the main reason for how women are so often seen as "inferior" or as children, imagine the scope of that problem. (Besides, a whole other group of people who are often either treated without a shred of respect or else under-estimated are children - but that's a matter for another day. )
Based on the offline work Dawn mentions in her profile, I'm guessing she's a grown-up and has a healthy respect for honest communication/debate/conversation in general; and also knows that opposing viewpoints are just part of communication/discussion.
My main area of disagreement with the general assertion about the Hub in question is not with how Nature has designed how things generally go on in a bedroom, but with the idea that how things work in the bedroom naturally extend out to the separate sexes beyond the bedroom. Things like who greats whom with a nice dinner (or who surprises whom by bringing home nice take-out), or who makes soup for whom when s/he is sick aren't, to me, associated with either sexuality or pre-ordained roles in marriage.'
To me, bedroom-related stuff is one area of a marriage. Everything else goes into a different category. Even then, though, from what I've heard (any of us who aren't sexologists usually only know how we are and think when it comes to bedroom stuff), there can be quite a bit of variation in what any one individual or couple prefers in the bedroom.
To me, (and maybe I just don't "know anything"), those two areas need to be addressed separately, and if one or both partners believes they are linked then maybe addressing the individual's belief that they are connected is what the couple needs to do.
I know our sexuality is not separate from what/who we are outside the bedroom and the house, but I think how it plays a role outside is more related to things like whether or not we prefer a pink coffee mug to a navy blue one (and even then it often doesn't play a role). It plays a role in whether we move more like a ballerina than a football player (usually). It may even play a role in whether we like chic-flicks better than violent movies.
I don't think if Fred stays home and minds the kids all day while Mary goes out to her high-powered job that should, in either of their minds, be seen as reflection of their sex (or not a reflection of it). Fred may be a better "mother" to the children than Mary is. He may be less skilled as a "stay-at-home". If he's a better "mother" then they're both doing what's best for their children. If he's not at great with children as Mary would be, maybe they both need to address that issue and re-think what they're doing.
Either way, 7:00 p.m. comes and the work-day and family dinner time is over. I think what Fred and Mary need to know is how to shift (both as a couple, but also "mentally" as individuals) and transition from what goes on during the work day to what goes on in the bedroom (eventually ) - not find a way to extend bedroom roles into the rest of life.
If Fred has issues with being a stay-at-home "mom" those issues are (or should be) the very same issues intelligent, ambitious, strong, women must deal with when they're home with their children. Fred also gets (or should be getting) the benefits of being the one who home with the children, the same way Mary would. If Fred's issues with being home are solely related to his manhood then Fred is the one who has an issue to be addressed. Secure men and fathers with the right bond with their children wouldn't have this manhood issue, and would (or should) be able to separate what needs to be separated between "the rest of life" and the bedroom (or else would know that some things don't need to be separated because nurturing one's own children is, in fact, what men should do too).
I think I'll expand on this in that Hub I'm planning to, but I don't want to add yet more length to a post here. I do, however, have a reasoned argument that backs up my assertions above.
Male dominance? Hmmmmm....yes, please DO walk 6 paces ahead of me that way I can bite you in the hind end when you take the wrong step.
- EmpressFelicityposted 12 years ago0
OK, so I re-read the hub (properly this time
). I see what you mean about the DNA thing. And the "if you earn more money than him, it's curtains for your marriage" thing as well.
Actually, talking about earning more than your husband: I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that some marriages do split up because the wife starts to outstrip her husband on the earnings front. But then again, I'm sure there are just as many marriages that withstand this "disaster" quite easily.
I think that the one of the keys to a happy, long lasting marriage/relationship is whether each person feels needed and valued by the other. These days, a woman who's capable of earning money for herself doesn't have to value/need a man for his financial acumen - there could be all sorts of other reasons why she admires/values/needs him.
It is a woman thing, Pcunix. Women like this sort of stuff. They probably know they are in charge anyway if a man goes overboard. All they have to do is put the asparin bottle on the dresser for about 5 nights and things will settle down, if you know what I mean.
I would have thought that in prehistoric times it was less a case of
and more a case of
- meridian1960posted 12 years ago0
Once again, let me just chime in here about that crazy word "should" - you all are saying "should" like you own this place! Settle down now, and realize that none of us is after telling those girls and boys how to act in their homes. None of us is equipped to set up a system of behavior for all the couples in the world! Let's just see how ridiculous all this is sounding: leaders, dominance, "equal but different" - people have to create their relationships out of how it feels for them. Maybe some women do like to have a man make the decisions and "rule". I have never met one. But come on now, you start saying "the man SHOULD this, and the woman SHOULD that", on any side of the issue, you're straying from reality and sounding very dominating! I humbly make this suggestion so your blood pressure will go down and you'll get something else done on this glorious Monday!
- meridian1960posted 12 years ago0
Neither the hair nor the teeth probably looked that good.Er, actually it wasn't PCunix who posted that pic of the "heavy-browed" woman... it was me.
I'm not quite sure what you've said in your first three paragraphs above has to do with the discussion at hand; it seems to be an extended ad hominem along the lines of "PCunix is a Democrat, therefore everything he says is wrong."
Yes, the woman whose picture I posted was probably was doing her Neanderthal thing some 40,000 - 60,000 years ago, so what? While we're on the subject though, your pics of the lovely Raquel Welch on that hub of yours come from a film called One Million Years BC... no WAY is that an accurate portrayal of hominid womanhood of the time LOL. Your average female hominid of one million years BC would probably have looked more like this:
OK, so it's a male - you'll just have to imagine the boobs.
BTW, your Caveman Love hub has some very disturbing and unpleasant overtones:
"The odd custom of thinking that children are “grown up” by the age of 12 or 13 won’t come into vogue for many thousands of years later. Still, girls often physically mature faster than boys, so it’s not uncommon for a girl to be stolen from her father’s Fire, before her older brother has even sprouted sideburns.
Sometimes, a young Hunter will raid no farther than his own clan’s camp. Many a young girl has found herself bound hand & foot, staked out next to the new Fire of a young man she'd grown up in the same Clan with. Her own feelings on the matter carry little weight. Protest too much, she might even be whipped."
care to elaborate?
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