first, act fast and retrieve the flying jetpacks hidden underneath Sarah Palin's wardrobe behind the building and
his car, flying low on a highway from Vegas to where the angels fear to thread. He seems lost in thought, probably ruminating about....
the Grammy awards and wondering if all American's were as annoying as Ryan Seacrest and the other E hosts...
and said "You fool! Joan Rivers must go first! First! First! First!" and so I...
became confused, who was my target, Rivers, Seacrest, or Bin Laden, I asked Jack and he said
slapped him back saying "But this is so much fun" and I left him bleeding, waiting for deliverance while I...
supreme and invincible, if just a tad silly with my fluoro cape and lacy tights. They seriously did not go well with the backpack.
but I was going from Vegas to LA, to a bunch of musicians, and I knew I would blend in with all the freaks, the plan was to
the plan was to,.,. o darnit! the plan was to...with a big question mark on my face i decided to seek the help of the other man - as Jack lays bleeding and therefore could be of no help, besides asking him would be a messy affair - who can sort things out for me. so i navigated the orange skies towards....
Middle earth to see if I could hook up with Frodo Baggins and Sam to find Gandoff,so he could help me
...and while I was about it, maybe I could do a detour to Druid-land and get a bit of Merlin magic help as well. So off I zoomed through the ages...
a critical point. Which way now? I have no idea where I am. So much confusion. I need help. If only......
I had my Blackberry - I needed GPS tracking like never before - hey wait! I still had my backpack. I plunged my hand in and there it was - my lifesaver! OK - here it was - Merlin was one biosphere up and Middle Earth was a substratum down. I needed to decide....
Mary and there was something about her. If only I could remember - ah yes, of course, I'd hidden the security codes in her hair gel. But she was
with her lamb! And that lamb is not your run-of-the mill ho-hum yodeling kind! It's the nastiest beast ever. So with great trepidation and sweat forming in my loins...I approached.
I wiped my sweaty loins on the lambs wool to dry my nuts and who caught me doing this? None other than....
Blue Billy! I was slightly embarrassed but I was overcome with happiness, "Why Billy ol boy what are you doing over all the way over here?"
Billy replied, I am looking for a Dairy Queen, they are becoming increasingly harder to find and I am jonesing for a dillybar.
Juts then a news flash came across the radio, there was a food recall of dilly bars due to
Barak Obama dancing barefoot in the salad bar while Michelle. . .
just watched. Now where was that Dairy Queen - or was it supposed to be a Dancing Queen? I felt the clouds of confusion sweep over my mind once more....
I would have to make to with a Chocolate Extreme Blizzard and a Mocha Moolatte. Rats!
I had rat pie. Now I have to chase down Blue Billy because he..
Ate the dilly and they are under recall, his lips turned red, his balls turned blue and he thinks he wants to blame it on you.
blue balls are no laughing matter, especially when you consider that they.......
hold all the family jewels. but then something slipped....
I realized that the blue balls were no more! So with a broad smile and a sprawled Billy Blue I went back to the mission at hand. I made up a foolproof plan that should lead me straight to the Dairy Queen. The plan was...
beep, beep..beep, beep, damn cell phone, always interupting my thoughts, I picked it up, "You jerk. This is Jack..Bin Laden is still in LA, both Seacrest and Joan Rivers were found..
....pressed and overflowing! Now back to the plan. I needed some moo power here to get me to my destination. Moover and shaker I am not so I decided to enlist the help of someone who was...
a moover and a shaker! So I took out my cell phone and scrolled down the directory and eureka! There it was, the name I was looking for! How could I have forgotten...
Moolin, Merlin's brother? You know the one who whirled the Dairy Queen around like a dervish till she morphed into a curdled yogi? Yes, he was just the one....
Oh Moolin and his cohorts who like to go about the universe changing this and their different states of being! After doing that wonderful stunt withthe Dairy Queen he surprised everyone when he..........
held a hope tight and chanted the last lines the little gal next door used to sing as she learned th 1st chapter from her socerers deeds
"you can be blessed or you can be cursed..the key is to live thru em all with deeds tat are worth" ....
and on the day they ran out of stock, he made the tastiest pancakes and maple syrup, that anyone had ever consumed, out of nothing but paper towels and liquid soap.
They were the sweetest, stickiest, most bubbliest success story ever and became widely known as the Maple Moolin Masterpiece. But that was then, and this is now and as I digressed a...
bit, letting nostalgia was over me, I wondered whether he still stirred the mixture around before he 'masterpieced' them on the stove - with his 'double, double, rise and bubble' magic spell...
aahhh i can only sigh and wipe a tear from the corner of my left eye. Summoning all my now thoughts i got back to the plan and huffed and puffed and made my way to Moolin's perch in...
...the sycamore tree. There was his Cheshire cat beside him looking like it had got all the cream. Had she just slurped down Dairy Queen I wondered...
but i shook up the thought as quickly as it came. For the Dairy Queen as far as I remembered was as big as the sycamore tree itself, with yards upon yards of silken silvery hair. So I clambered my way to the Cheshire cat and asked "Oh pussy, sweet pussy...
"WHERE ARE THOU?" someone suddenly hollared from just beneath me. "What the ....?" as I promptly lost my balance and fell out of the tree.
Lo and behold, I saw a little amphibious swamp creature, he said, "Hello, I'm tolden goad and I'm lookin' for my pittle fife."
But i did not give him the time of day for i was then busy starting a list of what to do's. First on my list was to check out the avatar of the Dairy Queen to confirm what she looks like then for I haven't seen her in a long long while.
But wait, the voice within him kept pushing him ... do not hold on any longer ... oh GOD he said ... the c-c-call ... then all hell broke loose. You can't hold back the call of nature.
...made a mental note to ask Moolin about a Magical Condition Transporter - Away, away, condition....to the farthest black hole in the universe! - far away from any hitchhiker who might be wandering around the galaxy....
Yep there he was muttering over and over "42, 42..." while he slurped on my DQ special. Seriously this guy was getting to me, but what to do? Okay it was time for the
would the Dairy Queen or Douglas Adams have any use for it, I wondered. Now that would be berry interesting!
The black hole being the gateway to another era, the confusion reigns, as what is expected at the gateway does not actually occur ... or does it? It's only the mind, somewhat dizzy, having read Shalini Kagal's hub the previous day, I see colored rats, thousands of them, doing a "VIBGYOR" parade, and Quicksand's first pet, "dikiKat" with a paw raised in salutation.
and totally in a quite panic as to what I would do next. But like a blinding flash,all of a sudden...
...there appeared Moolin, looking exactly like a Druid should look, wanting to know what I wanted in these parts...
I was strangely overcome with a melancholy longing for the days of martinis and olives in Angola, so I gathered up my
by Infobrowser 5 years ago
A Nintendo DS
by WordWielder 6 years ago
Thanks kimback for the inspiration to do this with your last topic.... Simple rules: Every two lines have to rhyme, the next two lines have to rhyme as well but be different from the first lines. Be creative and make it fun! I'll start with the first two lines to give it a sense of...
by Edlira 7 years ago
I met you a warm,bright sunny dayFelt lucky and happy like no one on earthYou were way out of my leagueFor a godess like you, I couldn't be worth
by kacey23 2 years ago
Could I post a short story on my hub page for others to comment on?
by Stimp 9 years ago
This is a story that my fiance told me yesterday and it's absolutely freaking true, which is horrifying.Okay, a guy is driving down a road, hits a dog....the dog belonged to the people in the home next to where the dog was hit. The owner of the dog comes out to find the dude that hit the dog...
by Brandon Lobo 7 years ago
Hi everyone, I was just curious and wanted to know how many hubbers actually visit the forums. If you see this post - leave a reply just once no matter how big it is but don't post a second reply as it will be easy to count then.
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