said "with the kiss I just gave you I exchanged some fluids with you, you now have been given a form of speed to deal with this crisis, it flows naturally through my body now but we still have to..
first, act fast and retrieve the flying jetpacks hidden underneath Sarah Palin's wardrobe behind the building and
"strap up tight, President Obama just called me, Bin Laden has been spotted in..
his car, flying low on a highway from Vegas to where the angels fear to thread. He seems lost in thought, probably ruminating about....
the Grammy awards and wondering if all American's were as annoying as Ryan Seacrest and the other E hosts...
It made me wonder, if perhaps Bin Laden was really doing the world good, by destroying Seacrest, but Jack slapped me..
and said "You fool! Joan Rivers must go first! First! First! First!" and so I...
became confused, who was my target, Rivers, Seacrest, or Bin Laden, I asked Jack and he said
slapped him back saying "But this is so much fun" and I left him bleeding, waiting for deliverance while I...
zoomed through the sky, the speed he had given me was working, I knew I could take on anyone, I felt
supreme and invincible, if just a tad silly with my fluoro cape and lacy tights. They seriously did not go well with the backpack.
but I was going from Vegas to LA, to a bunch of musicians, and I knew I would blend in with all the freaks, the plan was to
the plan was to,.,. o darnit! the plan was to...with a big question mark on my face i decided to seek the help of the other man - as Jack lays bleeding and therefore could be of no help, besides asking him would be a messy affair - who can sort things out for me. so i navigated the orange skies towards....
Middle earth to see if I could hook up with Frodo Baggins and Sam to find Gandoff,so he could help me
...and while I was about it, maybe I could do a detour to Druid-land and get a bit of Merlin magic help as well. So off I zoomed through the ages...
passing through frigid clouds, over iced mountaintops, I thought I saw a yeti waving hello, I waved back, knowing in the sky I was safe but I was quickly approaching..
a critical point. Which way now? I have no idea where I am. So much confusion. I need help. If only......
I had my Blackberry - I needed GPS tracking like never before - hey wait! I still had my backpack. I plunged my hand in and there it was - my lifesaver! OK - here it was - Merlin was one biosphere up and Middle Earth was a substratum down. I needed to decide....
if I had time to find a liquor store for a pack of smokes, but I was not in the hood, so I settled for a piece of gum, but I my anxiety from the speed ate at me, but I saw...
Mary and there was something about her. If only I could remember - ah yes, of course, I'd hidden the security codes in her hair gel. But she was
with her lamb! And that lamb is not your run-of-the mill ho-hum yodeling kind! It's the nastiest beast ever. So with great trepidation and sweat forming in my loins...I approached.
I wiped my sweaty loins on the lambs wool to dry my nuts and who caught me doing this? None other than....
Blue Billy! I was slightly embarrassed but I was overcome with happiness, "Why Billy ol boy what are you doing over all the way over here?"
Billy replied, I am looking for a Dairy Queen, they are becoming increasingly harder to find and I am jonesing for a dillybar.
Juts then a news flash came across the radio, there was a food recall of dilly bars due to
Barak Obama dancing barefoot in the salad bar while Michelle. . .
just watched. Now where was that Dairy Queen - or was it supposed to be a Dancing Queen? I felt the clouds of confusion sweep over my mind once more....
I would have to make to with a Chocolate Extreme Blizzard and a Mocha Moolatte. Rats!
I had rat pie. Now I have to chase down Blue Billy because he..
Ate the dilly and they are under recall, his lips turned red, his balls turned blue and he thinks he wants to blame it on you.
blue balls are no laughing matter, especially when you consider that they.......
hold all the family jewels. but then something slipped....
I realized that the blue balls were no more! So with a broad smile and a sprawled Billy Blue I went back to the mission at hand. I made up a foolproof plan that should lead me straight to the Dairy Queen. The plan was...
beep, beep..beep, beep, damn cell phone, always interupting my thoughts, I picked it up, "You jerk. This is Jack..Bin Laden is still in LA, both Seacrest and Joan Rivers were found..
....pressed and overflowing! Now back to the plan. I needed some moo power here to get me to my destination. Moover and shaker I am not so I decided to enlist the help of someone who was...
a moover and a shaker! So I took out my cell phone and scrolled down the directory and eureka! There it was, the name I was looking for! How could I have forgotten...
Moolin, Merlin's brother? You know the one who whirled the Dairy Queen around like a dervish till she morphed into a curdled yogi? Yes, he was just the one....
Oh Moolin and his cohorts who like to go about the universe changing this and their different states of being! After doing that wonderful stunt withthe Dairy Queen he surprised everyone when he..........
held a hope tight and chanted the last lines the little gal next door used to sing as she learned th 1st chapter from her socerers deeds
"you can be blessed or you can be cursed..the key is to live thru em all with deeds tat are worth" ....
and on the day they ran out of stock, he made the tastiest pancakes and maple syrup, that anyone had ever consumed, out of nothing but paper towels and liquid soap.
They were the sweetest, stickiest, most bubbliest success story ever and became widely known as the Maple Moolin Masterpiece. But that was then, and this is now and as I digressed a...
bit, letting nostalgia was over me, I wondered whether he still stirred the mixture around before he 'masterpieced' them on the stove - with his 'double, double, rise and bubble' magic spell...
aahhh i can only sigh and wipe a tear from the corner of my left eye. Summoning all my now thoughts i got back to the plan and huffed and puffed and made my way to Moolin's perch in...
...the sycamore tree. There was his Cheshire cat beside him looking like it had got all the cream. Had she just slurped down Dairy Queen I wondered...
but i shook up the thought as quickly as it came. For the Dairy Queen as far as I remembered was as big as the sycamore tree itself, with yards upon yards of silken silvery hair. So I clambered my way to the Cheshire cat and asked "Oh pussy, sweet pussy...
"WHERE ARE THOU?" someone suddenly hollared from just beneath me. "What the ....?" as I promptly lost my balance and fell out of the tree.
Lo and behold, I saw a little amphibious swamp creature, he said, "Hello, I'm tolden goad and I'm lookin' for my pittle fife."
But i did not give him the time of day for i was then busy starting a list of what to do's. First on my list was to check out the avatar of the Dairy Queen to confirm what she looks like then for I haven't seen her in a long long while.
But wait, the voice within him kept pushing him ... do not hold on any longer ... oh GOD he said ... the c-c-call ... then all hell broke loose. You can't hold back the call of nature.
so again, I had to scrap the plans and find a restroom that would allow me to go but I must make plans after to get some medicine for my "frequent" condition so I
...made a mental note to ask Moolin about a Magical Condition Transporter - Away, away, condition....to the farthest black hole in the universe! - far away from any hitchhiker who might be wandering around the galaxy....
Yep there he was muttering over and over "42, 42..." while he slurped on my DQ special. Seriously this guy was getting to me, but what to do? Okay it was time for the
would the Dairy Queen or Douglas Adams have any use for it, I wondered. Now that would be berry interesting!
The black hole being the gateway to another era, the confusion reigns, as what is expected at the gateway does not actually occur ... or does it? It's only the mind, somewhat dizzy, having read Shalini Kagal's hub the previous day, I see colored rats, thousands of them, doing a "VIBGYOR" parade, and Quicksand's first pet, "dikiKat" with a paw raised in salutation.
and totally in a quite panic as to what I would do next. But like a blinding flash,all of a sudden...
...there appeared Moolin, looking exactly like a Druid should look, wanting to know what I wanted in these parts...
I was strangely overcome with a melancholy longing for the days of martinis and olives in Angola, so I gathered up my
by WordWielder 4 years ago
Thanks kimback for the inspiration to do this with your last topic.... Simple rules: Every two lines have to rhyme, the next two lines have to rhyme as well but be different from the first lines. Be creative and make it fun! I'll start with the first two lines to give it a sense of...
by Edlira 14 years ago
I met you a warm,bright sunny dayFelt lucky and happy like no one on earthYou were way out of my leagueFor a godess like you, I couldn't be worth
by Lisa 13 years ago
Should a writer still try to post a hub even if someone close to them isn't comfortable with it?I wrote a short story (my first attempt at one anyways) and it's based on my past. The only thing is one of the people that was involved in that situation doesn't want me to post it, even though...
by kacey23 9 years ago
Could I post a short story on my hub page for others to comment on?
by J Conn 7 years ago
Post your best non-political funny meme.
by \Brenda Scully 15 years ago
no more than 4 lines.... and we need them to rhyme... Though tired after a long day I am staying up writing Just having my say beginning a rhyme that will go on and on...... ...
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |