Let's write a short story line by line!

1. 59

   B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

   removed the weasel, and replaced it with something a little more conducive to reading. A Miniature Schnauzer. Returning my attention to the "Red hot chicks", I realized that what they were glistening with was not sweat, at all. It was, in fact, tartar sauce. And the chicks were not really chicks. They were actually...

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2. 69

   Pam Robersonposted 16 years ago

   Sumo wrestlers engaging in an arm lock of huge proportions as their cheeks were being flossed and jiggling about in the struggle...NO, no more...please....

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3. 59

   B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

   The dignified grace of the events unfolding on the page was palpable. As the Schnauzer napped within my pantaloons, I envisioned myself in all of my sumo-thonged glory, grappling with these behemoths. I could only imagine how...

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4. 69

   Pam Robersonposted 16 years ago

   these two must feel being covered in tartar sauce, which gives me an undeniable urge to eat some fish, but that isn't possible right now, the really good part is coming...

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5. 59

   B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

   up in a couple of pages. The match ends in a draw. The tie breaker is a sudden death standoff, in which the combatants stand toe to toe and improvise dirty limericks, followed by pornographic haiku. Oh how I wish I could...

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6. 69

   Pam Robersonposted 16 years ago

   still fit in my sumo thong and write pornographic haiku with the skill of...hmmm, something doesn't seem quite right, and it appears...

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7. 59

   B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

   that I have been transported through time and space, and am now trapped under a very large (and not recently washed) buttock. These sumo wrestlers are much larger than they looked in the book! As I begin to black out, I can clearly hear...

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8. 70

   rmrposted 16 years ago

   my mother's voice asking "Now do see why it's so important to wear clean underwear?"

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9. 69

   Pam Robersonposted 16 years ago

   And the reason why her voice was so clear is because it was her sitting on me to prevent me from running away as she lectured, so all i could do is...

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10. 70

    rmrposted 16 years ago

    You can imagine my surprise at seeing my own mother in sumo attire. Especially from this angle. It was certainly a side of her I had never seen before! I tried to escape, but became hopelessly entwined in that massive thong. Then I remembered the Schnauzer. I woke him from his nap, and...

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11. 61

    Cris Aposted 16 years ago

    told him to go after the thong but he was more scared than I was. But thanks to my genius mind I figured out a way to slither free. Guess what I did? I....

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12. 68

    SparklingJewelposted 16 years ago

    ...and i immediately skipped ahead two chapters...because this is becoming wayyyyyy tooooo much....and I find myself comfy and in my heavy flannels settling down for a long winter's nap, with visions of sugarplums dancing in my head...when out on the roof there arouse such a clatter...I sprang.....

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13. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    My friend Rocco out of prison last week. I don't know why he was on the roof, but he was making a helluva clatter. I threw a rock at him to shut him up. Unfortunately I missed Rocco, and hit...

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    1. 61

       Cris Aposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       the roof which made the rock rebound and hit me instead. I was gone. But of course I woke up eventually. It's then that I realized that...

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       1. 60

          goldentoadposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          I had already drank a six pack of budweisers but

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          1. 59

             B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years agoin reply to this

             that didn't stop me from breaking out the Johnny Walker. I was trying to drink that memory of mom in a sumo thong out of my head, you know what I mean? It also lured Rocco down from the roof to...

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14. 78

    Patty Inglish, MSposted 16 years ago

    rob me of all my 5-oz gold bars I had hidden in the lining of my skiiing suit.

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15. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    Fortunately, I keep all of my larger gold bars in my scuba suit, for ballast. I hid the Johnny Walker while Rocco was occupied with the gold, and went upstairs to...

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    1. 86

       Jewelsposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       light some incense at my buddhist altar dedicated to the Deli Lama. If I could get centered just a smidge perhaps I could.........

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16. 60

    laringoposted 16 years ago

    rest while sobbering up, and try not to burn the place down because I would never be able to...

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17. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    save my celebrity belly button lint collection from the fire. I know this, because I lost my Paris Hilton toe jam collection the same way!

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18. 86

    Jewelsposted 16 years ago

    After laughing hysterically over life in general, I secured my valuable collection of memorabilia and plotted my next move.

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19. 61

    Cris Aposted 16 years ago

    I shall wake up now from this long-winded dream that's precariously on the verge of becoming a bore-fest if not plain annoying. So I...

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20. 59

    Mamakel7posted 16 years ago

    was about to give up and go on home but then I thought again and changed it up for there is always another side of the story to be told, I instead went out to...

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    1. 73

       Eaglekiwiposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       the old bridge that in its time carried many a weary traveller to this side of town ,perhaps a change of environment would refresh my mind.
       As I pulled into to park I noticed....

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21. 69

    brad4lposted 16 years ago

    As I pulled into to park I noticed.... that there was a man on the swing set wearing a cantelope on his head. This seemed odd to me, but I shrugged and...

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22. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    put on a Jamaican ugly fruit. I keep one with me for occasions such as this. As I passed a lady wearing a dozen kiwi, I tipped my ugly fruit and headed for the smoothie stand. I was beginning to suspect that I had in fact not woken up. This had all the earmarks of a liquor fueled dream.

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23. 78

    Patty Inglish, MSposted 16 years ago

    Then I ordered gravy at a refreshment stand. It was cold when I received it, but attactively packaged. There was also a coupon for a free car waxing.

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24. 64

    Lisa HWposted 16 years ago

    Delighted by my good fortune at such nice gravy packaging AND a free car-wax coupon,  I quickly

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25. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    Jumped in my car and raced off to redeem the coupon. My car hadn't been waxed in months and had grown quite hairy.

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    1. 73

       Eaglekiwiposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Imagine my surprise when my eyes fell upon an old friend of mine ,except the feeling wasnt mutual ,perhaps he was trying to avoid me ,,so I took matters into my own hands and..........

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26. 64

    Lisa HWposted 16 years ago

    offered him the coupon for the free car wax.   In his eyes I could see that

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27. 68

    The Real Tomatoposted 16 years ago

    ....he did not recognize me. My mind flashed back to when we were young. So many memories...

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28. 71

    KCC Big Countryposted 16 years ago

    of the pranks we two pulled on the neighborhood.  There was that one incident where we were wearing capes and digging holes to.................

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    1. 68

       SparklingJewelposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       under the neighbors house foundation looking for worms so that we could go fishing wearing our capes to protect us from the cold chill of the winds off the lake at....

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       1. 70

          waynetposted 16 years agoin reply to this

          Ice lake were the devil whores liked to eat hot dogs and chill against the back drop of the cold cold winters night, whilst juggling pea pods at the town fair...what's that coming over the hill, it's a....

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29. 71

    KCC Big Countryposted 16 years ago

    snidely-toed whipplestomper!  We all know what they do, and it isn't pretty!  Last time, I ran across one of them it was in March 1988 and the havoc was horrible!  That snidely-toed whipplestomper almost....

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30. 78

    Patty Inglish, MSposted 16 years ago

    ...got hit by a hairy car badly in need of waxing, driven by a set of antlers above a mouth slurping a gravy shake. Just then, a Connecticut moose on holiday steps out onto the highway and demands the driver give up the gravy. An explosion is heard, the gravy spills under the moose's hooves, and...

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31. 71

    KCC Big Countryposted 16 years ago

    he loses his footing, sending him slipping and sliding across all 8 lanes of the highway!  The snidely-toed whipplestomper is standing there with his tongue and tail wagging taking it all in.  He knows what'll happen next.  It always happens in these situations.  The......

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    1. 90

       Frieda Babbleyposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       ...guy on the red Rascal with the cooler in the back comes scooting up alongside him.  The Red Rascal Bandit...

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32. 64

    Lisa HWposted 16 years ago

    - ever the cleverest of both rascals and bandits, immediately and without hesitation

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33. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 16 years ago

    grabbed the remaining gravy, turned that rascal scooter into the sunset, and made good his escape. A state trooper jumped on the moose, and gave chase, but...

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    1. 87

       mistyhorizon2003posted 16 years agoin reply to this

       the arrival of a female moose in season, distracted the male moose the state trooper was riding, and before he knew it he was high-tailing it in the wrong direction as the male moose followed the object of his sexual desires. The State Trooper, had no control over his steed, and the rascal scooter with the remaining gravy was heading in the opposite direction.....

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34. 68

    The Real Tomatoposted 16 years ago

    ...at high speed he whizzed across traffic lanes - the sound of breaks screeching filled his ears.
    Later with a throbbing headache " where am I " he thought. The last thing he remembered was...

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    1. 68

       The Real Tomatoposted 16 years agoin reply to this

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35. 64

    Lisa HWposted 16 years ago

    seeing the ten birthday candles on his own birthday cake,  In his complete confusion he

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    1. 61

       Abhishek87posted 16 years agoin reply to this

       lost track of his object of desire but then what he saw made him forget everything. It was ...

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36. 86

    Jewelsposted 16 years ago

    A premonition, an xray of his head, a brain tumor! The headaches? Am I doomed? How could this be happening?

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37. 0

    Leta Sposted 16 years ago

    The object of my desire and the birthday cake and the brain tumor (oh, the pain, the pain), must be buried, buried, buried.  Everything must be written in code!  That's the solution!

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38. 68

    SparklingJewelposted 16 years ago

    Just as my head was about ready to explode, seeking the code...the Great Oversoul took command and brought me back into equilibrium, centered in my self soul. And I was at peace, able to breathe at ease. My mind settled down, my heart stopped racing and all the jangled, mangled thoughts disappeared in an instant.
    
    Ahhhhhhhh, what bliss...what ecstacy...what rapture...what...?????

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39. 59

    Josh Fruscianteposted 16 years ago

    What.... a tasty piece of cake that was. I have never savored any crumb of food more than that. The vanilla was surely enough to make me...

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40. 60

    WordWielderposted 16 years ago

    slip suddenly into a sweet, sugar-saturated sleeping spell where I sheepishly surmised I was soaring through the stratosphere while simultaneously sailing and surfing the seven seas on a spectacular swell that sent me smashing into shore, sinking slowly beneath the surface to a subterranean space.......

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    1. 66

       RKHenryposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       Where the devil whores master laid in wake. I quickly had to think of something to get me out of this thick, gummy-bear lake. So I........

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41. 59

    Josh Fruscianteposted 16 years ago

    Fashioned myself a lasso out of some licorice I had managed to steal from a candy vendor earlier in the day... my only hope was to snag myself one of the many goats that were on shore and pull myself to safety I can only hope that they are not the famed demon goats that prey on human flesh...

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42. 60

    WordWielderposted 16 years ago

    Alas, my lasso of licorice listed under the load, lunging me lower and lower till I looked upon a lighted locale, landlocked beneath the loch....

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    1. 68

       SparklingJewelposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       ...and there was Nessie, just about ready to peek her head above the water for all to see! I had no idea she was so loooong! would anyone else believe this, that i had actually seen Nessie and witnesses her breech of the surface. I was about ready to get her attention for a more personal interaction when...

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43. 59

    Josh Fruscianteposted 16 years ago

    ...... a toothless old man snatched me up from the loch on what seemed to be a skiff made out of potatoes.

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44. 60

    AshleyVictoriaposted 16 years ago

    ...The potatos were covered in a cheesy substance that I eventually placed as glue.  My arms and legs stuck to the potatoes!  The toothless old man maniacally laughed and laughed while I struggled to set myself free.  We stopped in the middle of the forst and a gaggle of large talking geese started to peck at the potatos I sat upon...

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45. 76

    SweetiePieposted 16 years ago

    A man named Tom came marching out of the trees and declared that fried breadfruit was much more tasty than the cheesy potatoes.

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46. 60

    AshleyVictoriaposted 16 years ago

    Tom and the toothless man got into an argument about this statement.  While they were arguing the geese chewed me to freedom and I joined in the discussion with the bickering men.

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47. 92

    Dolores Monetposted 16 years ago

    "Is food all you people ever think about?" I shouted.
    I could stand it no longer. Maybe, I thought, I'll return to Angola where the girls with their parasols walk by the river and

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48. 57

    Dunne-Riteposted 16 years ago

    Jump in to perform water ballet for hours on end until their bodies are completely water logged and their skin looks like raisins that

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    1. 66

       RKHenryposted 16 years agoin reply to this

       the devil whores turned about to eat them.  But the knight of.....

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49. 57

    Dunne-Riteposted 16 years ago

    Day Light decided it would be best if he jumped in to the scene in the nick of time to save them from such an evil fate and instead directed them to immediately go and..

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50. 60

    AshleyVictoriaposted 16 years ago

    frolic with cherubs in a breezy meadow while...

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